Skjoldmø – The Shieldmaiden


You know of The Shieldmaiden 

Shortly you shall have the chance to learn more about her and my dynamic with her

In readiness for this, here is your opportunity to ask in the comments section all the questions you wish for my consideration in preparation to then answer you with the forthcoming article about The Shieldmaiden




  1. How have you described your mother to her?

    Has she ever met your mother?

    What does she think of your mother?

    Are you honest with her about how mean your mother is or do you triangulate and make your mother out to be the perfect woman that SM will never measure up to?

  2. Thought of another….what passion do you and sheildmaiden share together? What do you both share that you really love to do or talk about?

  3. One more…this question may seem an odd one but i have my reasons for asking it. Is there one thing about sheildmaiden that reminds you of your mother? I know cringeworthy and sorry to ask it and if not what about your father? Does sheildmaiden possess a trait that is in any way similiar to one of your parents?

  4. Thought of another…. i get this feeling sheildmaiden is a bit more dominant than your last ex. I know narcs like to be in control but i sense you look at her as stronger in some way. Shes a magnet empath that youve said but maybe you feel shes up for the battle? She strikes me as a warrior or at least symbolises this to you. Theres a strength there that is revered.
    Would you view her as a stronger person than your ex and if so in what ways?

    1. Dear Chihuahuamum,
      Exactly !
      How can a female CEO of an international company be that empathic and not be a hard nut to crack ?
      She’d have to be dealing with extreme narcs … I’m puzzled 😕
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      1. Hi bubbles…i have firsthand experience with someone in this type of position who i cant figure out if they are a super empath or a narcissist. He has done some things that are empathic that are behind the scenes and would never be viewed by others and applauded and seems to have no ulterior motive. Yet ive seen some pretty damn cold things that make me quite shocked. I think as a CEO you have to have high narc traits. To be diagnosed with npd you cant feel empathy but i still wonder if its more a spectrum and there is levels of empathy. Im still on the fence with that one.
        In regards to sheildmaiden i do sense a strength. HG has mentioned he revered his mothers strength in her manipulations. He respects how her npd got her what she wanted. I hope i said that right. Strength is respect but we know what initially draws the narc to us also ends up being what they despise us for eventually. Sheildmaiden is glorious right now but when will the jealousy and envy set in. The insecurity? I hope this never happens but it seems to be the pattern with npd. To grow you need love real love and not manufactured love. Its hard to say tho bc there are many facets to a relationship. If two people really enjoy each others company and click sometimes it can morph into something but with npd i dont think that something will ever be a genuine healthy two way relationship.

        1. Dear Chihuahuamum,
          Very valid thought processing and most intriguing dynamics indeed
          I feel Mr Tudor has met his match on an “intellectual stimulation” equality level and naturally would see one’s self on “cloud 9” and hence very protective
          That in itself, could keep you bound, however is it sustainable ? Its already challenging enough to maintain a “normal” relationship let alone one with a “greater” … perhaps Mr Tudor has found his “mother of invention”
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  5. Lots of interesting questions!

    These may have been asked but what are 5 things sheildmaiden gives you that your last ex never did and that includes during your golden period with your ex as you now are in with sheildmaiden. What sets her apart from your ex looking back at this same point in time.

    Of course your ex will have been painted black but would you say youre more attracted to sheildmaiden than you were to your ex in the golden period…this will probably be in tune to the hair write up but im still curious. Attracted on all levels not just the physical.

    Now dig deep and be as honest as you can…what is one thing you would like to do differently that you didnt do with your ex that “couldve” contributed to the downfall of your relationship? Narcissists lack accountability but you are aware of npd and understand it better than anyone so you are quite capable to list one thing you think you could change or improve upon that might make a difference this time around. Just one or even half of one lol

    What are 3 top things you love the most about sheildmaiden aside from fuel that you admire about her and respect about her? These are attributes that are not what she gives to you but about her that you like and stand out.

    I know ill have more lol
    I still follow your instagram and enjoy it HG. Its nice seeing you enjoy life and come alive again.
    I am still perplexed how you dont think she would ever come across your posts online. I know some have suspected theyre orcestrated but i dont. I really sense we are seeing your life in true form unfold and i appreciate you sharing as such 🙂

    1. Everything you read has occurred but the internet is a vast place and she has not come across my online works.

      1. Tell her the truth if you are honest about making it work with this woman. End your secretive life and start anew like never before. Embrace the unknown. If she loves you she will accept your past. But the future is yours to make anew on a sincere footing. Just be honorable to a woman for once in your life. How hard can it be?!

        1. Hi Sniglet!

          How have you been? Nice to see you! I am narc free and better than ever (just updating you since I have not seen you recently)!

          1. Hi Jenna 🙂 it is so wonderful to see you post here and I am happy that you are narc free. I’m interested in knowing how you escaped him and how you found the mental strength to free yourself from his shackles? Are you still pinning for him? I had an interesting and busy 2018 with work and a developing relationship which I already know that if it does become serious I will end it eventually. I don’t want him attaching himself to me and I don’t know how to manage that part before we start seeing each other more often. I’m keeping the breaks on this one. I like him as a friend and for fun but not to procreate with him which is what he alluded to a number of times. One of my Narc exes keeps hoovering me but I can manage him – no issue there because I don’t care. And three weeks ago I sustained a minor concussion causing me to me more chatty and more emotional than usual. The frontal lobe drives the emotions apparently. So I’m nursing my health back to normal. A truck rear-ended my car at a traffic light. 🙂

            So tell me about your escape? Are you now in a new relationship?

          2. Sniglet,

            Thank you for your reply. I will reply to this tomorrow because it’s a bit long ( I’ll make sure not to make it too long though so you don’t bored😁)

          3. Hi Sniglet,

            We’ve had a love-hate relationship on this blog haven’t we?😂 Sometimes I can’t even believe I was that person. Shall we reminisce, just for fun? There was the time we debated back and forth about mj. Then there was the time you thought Hg’s brother was moderating, and I had to intervene (I don’t do that anymore btw). Then there was the time you asked about your comment and I said you don’t have the right to ask Hg about it. So you called me a twisted pretzel or something. I don’t quite remember the words. I also found a comment of yours on another thread where you warn another commenter that Hg has a spokesperson named Jenna. Lol! Those were the days weren’t they Sniglet?! Ok so to make a long story short, the narc experience had made me overly sensitive, and when I think back, I just want to forget it all. I have turned over a new leaf. I am trying to lose my narcisstic traits. I was not a bad person before (standard empath with narc traits) but now I want to be more empathic and bring joy to people in my life (sounds sappy I know). I am trying to rewire my brain towards that. It is a conscious effort, and it gets easier everyday, as these neuro pathways become more prominent. I have to say, through this exercise, I no loger have anxiety nor panic attacks. I just feel at peace. Funny it took a narc to make me realize these things about myself.
            About the MMRN, it was a total of four years. I originally escaped him. He hoovered and I resisted for about 3 months. Then I caved and replied to his message. He wanted to stay friends. I told him I would think about it. It went back and forth for about 2 weeks, getting angry at him to saying ok fine I would like to be friends. The next 6 months or so were very good. He was very very kind, expressive, would contact me regularly, supportive, and a great friend. And then bam! He became his original narcy self. He was secretive, would not contact me regularly, and contradictory. I objected to this and stopped talking to him. After about 2 weeks, he contacted me saying he wants to make the friendship work. I told him I’m scared but he convinced me that it will be all good. So I thought we were friends again. But his secrecy didn’t stop. Sometimes I would be the only one conversing and he would just say one or two words. This was not a fulfilling friendship for me so again I raised my objections. This time he told me to stop the emotional blackmail and waved goodbye. I was speechless because he was the one who wanted to remain friends, and I was enjoying the friendship too (at the beginning). A month later I contacted him, and to my utter surprise, I could not reach him. Yes, I was blocked! I had two options. Either I could email him or I could contact Hg Tudor. I chose the latter option. Hg brought me back to life because I was practically catatonic. I wanted to die and never wake up (still addicted). I continued to consult Hg. I did alot of soul searching during this time and realized that I need to change my whole attitude. I was on a quest to never be anything like the mmrn and try to never hurt anyone in my life. He unblocked me after about 6 months, but by that time I did not want to re-start the friendship. And I think now I have reached almost zero impact. I used to see him on IG, but I don’t bother looking anymore because he bores me. He likes the same types of posts about trying to self heal, find his chakra, etc. After everything that’s happened, he’s still stuck in the same rut. I on the other hand used the experience to better myself. There’s the difference between us and them (narcs). More power to empaths! Having said that, I am definitely not perfect and I am a work in progress, working on myself every day!

            Sniglet, I am happy to read that you are in a fun relationship, but if you want to halt the brakes then you can do that whenever you are ready. I am glad you can manage the hoovers of your ex. Looks like you’ve reached zero impact! I am so sorry about your minor concussion. I hope you heal quickly and get better soon!

            I love seeing you here. I find you very articulate, and very funny! A joy to read!

          4. Hi Sniglet,

            I submitted my long reply but Hg didn’t post it yet. I wonder what is in there that Hg didn’t like. Then I could edit it out so it’s postable.

        2. Sniglet… are you her? You speak like if you have that hope yourself for yourself?
          That would be the end of the spectrum for HG- that would be giving out control … maybe he is ready , the stakes seems to be high.
          Not sure he wants to take the chance to blow it now at the risk of blowing it later when she is deeply ensnared and dependent ???
          No judgment here – but I went to the best Narc school and had the best teacher 🙂

          1. OMG OMJ! Ha ha. No, I am not her and have no plans on being anybody else but me. But you know the old age saying? – when he settles with his mistress he creates a vacancy. Telling the truth is not giving up control. It will increase the negative flow of fuel or surprisingly even positive.

    2. Chihuahuamum
      I find it interesting that you are perplexed by that. It took certain specific circumstances for me to come across HG’s blog and without them I never would have. Perhaps SM isn’t aware of NPD, has never encountered a true narcissist, has never had to do a Google search. Even with these circumstances I still wouldn’t know who he was unless I was full out stalking the blog, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram (where there are pics she might recognize) and wherever else he might be posting. Even as a fan I don’t read all of them. The web is such a vast place I don’t think people just accidentally run into each other, especially when one uses a pseudonym.

      1. Hi wish…were talking HG …the HG! Hes becoming very well known and narcissism is a hot topic these days! It is possible that she may not come across it but it is surprising to me. HG’s work is very well known in many circles. If she hasnt come across it maybe someone she knows has. The internet is vast but its also a small world at the same time.

      2. In regards to instagram i had to laugh at your ikea posts HG lol i think i remember you saying you hated that store. It must be true love 😄

          1. Dear Mr Tudor,
            What do you mean …. you never went in ?
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          2. Dear Mr Tudor,
            You already said that
            Were you shieldmaidens uber driver ? ……
            Whilst she raced in to get tea light candles and napkins for sexy candlelit din din ? 🤣
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          3. Ha ha, I understand that it is part of the Ikea Covenant that tea light candles must always be bought, good reason I do not go inside.

          4. Ikea and me have a love hate relationship lol i love some of their items but the furniture forget it. It comes in a million pieces id rather buy it second hand put together already 😄 im more into antique furniture. I do like to browse around ikea maybe once a year or look at the catalogue.

          5. I wish I had an Ikea nearby, only have that weird Argos ….. :/ I can’t even buy a simple box.

          6. Dear Mr Tudor,
            In any “committed” relationship …. the man MUST enter IKEA and be seen with his beloved on his arm …. it’s the unspoken rule
            You’re being tested 🤣
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        1. Hi CM and Hg,

          I just googled Hg’s instagram again (the only way for me to see his posts). I had no idea he hates Ikea. How could I miss this fact? Very enjoyable post indeed! Thanks CM for alerting me towards it! Thanks Hg for sharing! 😂

          1. You don’t seem like an Ikea person at all. I think your furniture taste would be more mohogany, cherry wood, traditional, grand furniture. Am I right?

          2. I am not an Ikea person, it was a joke.

            I use people as furniture, after all, they are objects.

          3. “I use people as furniture, after all, they are objects.”

            I should have known. But really, did you go into Ikea or not? I’m a bit confused because on IG you said you are getting “sucked in”. I’m loving your IG btw. I get excited to see what you post next! When you post about regular stores like Ikea, we can actually relate to you, which makes you seem more real, and it becomes exciting! Well I know you’re real because I’ve had many audio consults, but you just seem more real somehow lol!

          4. I did not go in, although the SM was trying to lure me in, although she knows I hate the place. She hates it also but there was something specific they had that she needed to obtain for a project of hers. I waited on the other side!

          5. Hg,

            “Hate” is such a strong word, no? Why do all narcs either ‘love’ or ‘hate’? Oh wait, I know the answer – black and white thinking! I have been schooled well – by the great/despicable/mean/evil Hg Tudor.

          6. I don’t like ikea either. I hate the fact that they don’t have straight paths through their stores and they are wasting my time making me walk in circles (I know it’s their marketing strategy but I told them that anyway), I don’t like the items and I don’t like having to build cheap furniture pieces into some bigger cheap furniture. I don’t shop there. It’s great if you are on a budget starting out. I love Italian furniture.

          7. Sniglet,

            “I don’t like having to build cheap furniture pieces into some bigger cheap furniture”

            Lol! 😂
            I agree with this (though I like their storage boxes).

          8. Hi Sniglet!

            I just google ‘hgtudor instagram’ and I can see the posts. It’s very interesting because you get a visual glimpse into Hg’s world. Check it out!

          9. Thanks Jenna! I will check it out tomorrow.

            If I create an Instagram account, will HG Tudor follow me or my Instagram account too just so I know it is the right Tudor?

          10. Hg and Sniglet,

            Lol! Hg only follows 6 people, and I have a feeling they are probably all himself. Just like zayn malik (I think he’s a narc) only follows zaynmalik fan pages, and nobody else lol. They don’t think anyone else is worth following I guess?! I know I know Hg. You don’t have the time and this is your professional knowing the narcissist account, right? But even if it were not, you would not follow us would you?! Sniglet, hg tudor or “knowing the narcissist” is his IG name. You will recognize the ‘evil’ logo.

          11. I follow The Economist, Financial Times and such like – for information.

          12. Ha. I was right that you are in finance. No wonder you remind me of Excel/MRN. Hedge funds?

          13. Well, you can say you are not but I will still believe that you are. Maybe not hedge funds but everything points to something in finance – your travels, your interests, your knowledge…your tax evasion (ha, that was a joke).

          14. K, he so wishes. But the new James Bond has been chosen already 🤣

          15. K, hahaha this is perfect! It’s funny how the more I try to hate HG, the more I like his choices in popular culture. I am a fan of James Bond myself even if, as a feminist, I despise the objectification of females and the toxic masculinity displayed in most of them. However, I noticed a switch in Casino Royale. First of all, the iconic scene in which the female counterpart emerges from the ocean in a sexy bikini (Ursula Andress, Halle Berry) was stolen by Daniel Craig himself this time.
            Which is OK.
            And the opening fractals allowing for more quantum interpretations, together with James Bond suffering for the lost love of his life in the end…. it makes me think of a new dynamic!

          16. Sweetest Perfection
            Ha ha ha…good luck trying to hate HG. Thanks for the scene, I enjoyed watching DC emerge from the ocean. I have not seen the movie so I have put it on my To-Do List. I am going to read Chitty Chitty Bang Bang to my daughter and I am going to recommend a Bond Spy novel to my Book Club group. When you mentioned fractals it reminded me of the Fibonacci Sequence and the beautifully illustrated children’s book: Swirl by Swirl: Spirals in Nature.

          17. K, never let your daughter watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the movie. Child catcher has been haunting my dreams since I was a kid. Also, I detest greasy hair. Of course I don’t hate HG, it’s impossible! (at a distance of course). The fractals you will see are based on Mandelbrot’s set, mostly. Enjoy the opening credits!

          18. Sweetest Perfection
            I really loved Chitty Chitty Bang Bang when I was a kid but the Child Catcher was scary. “Come along, kiddie-winkies!”
            My daughter has not watched it, nor has she seen Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

            Thanks for the link, I enjoyed the opening credits and I am going to watch Casino Royale this weekend.

          19. I like James Bond too and totally agree with you, SP, that there is a new dynamic since Casino Royale. It is like the whole James Bond story has been re-taken in these last films to create a different, new JB. I look forward to seeing the next film.

          20. Oh how annoying! WordPress is asking me now to enter my name manually every time, with autocorrect messing up and all. Sigh.

          21. And interesting K that HG posted yours and SP’s responses before he posted my response, which I wrote seconds after we had that exchange. It was short. No need for it to sit in moderation except that HG wanted to have the final word. It is your blog, of course, HG, but you do manipulate the timing of the responses.

          22. No I don’t. I do not have time or inclination to do so. I moderate them as fast as I can for a variety of reasons. There are also numerous factors which impact on why certain comments may appear before others e.g. I am interrupted when moderating and when I return fresh comments have appeared which push the later comments further back as I moderate the most recent arrivals – this may give the appearance of manipulating timing but it does not happen. I know it does not happen, you can only assume it does and I understand why you make such an assumption based on what I am, but I have no need to do it, thus I do not.

          23. HG, I can’t remember what I was referring to now. You shelved us for too long! ha.

            I was going to comment earlier, however, that while you profess to be as neutral as you can here, you do have control. You answer some questions but not others, you moderate the commenting (of necessity but you do), and you disappear and reappear without warning. Most of this is normal because obviously you have other things to do and I am sure you try to be as even-handed as possible (some comments are longer than others, more questions, desperate people, timing, etc) but you also cannot deny that you have an element of control here that we do not have.

            Mind you, it doesn’t bother me. I have gotten what I needed, I am pretty much cured, and I thank you very much for it but I think it a bit disingenous to pretend not to recognize the control that you do have. Months ago when you would suddenly disappear, sometimes for weeks on end, it would really disturb me because it was a trigger – it felt like shelving. At many points I wanted to ask you to tell us when you would be gone. It is not a trigger anymore for me (might be for others) but you do still do it. Of course any one of us can leave suddenly too but the blog does not revolve around us because there are lots of us and only one of you, and you control the blog.

            It’s a minor point altogether, but one I think worth making because it forces you to examine how the dynamic here works. I think – having read about and speculated about Karen (that’s going to be on my mind until I know the ending) – that this is what you have problems seeing – the dynamics of all kinds of relationships, including how to enter and exit gracefully.

          24. That is a reasonably fair comment SMH.

            Yes, I do have the element of control that you do not, however this control is wielded fairly.

            You were not specifically making the point about control, you were specifically commenting on how this control is wielded i.e. that I manipulate the timing of moderating the posts, which is incorrect and it is important to make that distinction in what was being discussed, as your reply above does not make that clear.

            Again, I can understand why you may think that I may manipulate, but it is not accurate. Yes, I have control, on that we are agreed, but I do not wield this control unfairly because I have no need to do so.

          25. HG, Yes, you are correct. In my previous post I had a bit of a hissy fit but in this post I am being very reasonable and simply pointing out that there is a lack of balance, which makes me think about interpersonal relationships in general. It is a big responsibility to take on a blog like this, with people who are on the verge of breaking, arguing with each other, annoyed with you or dependent on you. Must be quite a challenge to do it properly, more so than your other platforms because this is designed to be interactive whereas the other ones are not so much.

          26. Thank you. So you read the Economist with SM and you follow the Economist. I would have guessed you’re in Finance but you already said that you are not. Still a mystery…

          27. I have financial and political interests which means reading these publications is important

          28. HG
            You sent out a red flag to SM by not going into IKEA. I’m sure she thought it was strange or ridiculous, but she shook it off.

            Have you ever been in an ikea store to judge it for yourself, or was it just hearsay that it wasn’t cool enough for you to be seen in? And who would see you in there that you’d have to worry about unimpressing?

            That’s the note that I hear in your narration, a little pompous tone that doesn’t match up to your writing or isn’t how I’d imagine you to sound.

            I just think if you’re really cool, you could go in anywhere, and I’m fairly sure you wouldn’t break out in hives or catch any cooties either. Actually I think you would’ve been cooler if you had gone in. Trouble with narcissist’s is they can never just let their hair down.

          29. Actually Kel I did not, we both dislike Ikea.

            It is nothing to do with ‘being cool’. I do not like their furniture range (SM only uses it for a professional purpose (one of her various interests) as opposed to personal) and we both abhor the Dante Snake of Hell Parade so she agreed with my staying in the car, plus I had calls I needed to make to. Thus she knows about my dislike of Ikea and essentially shares it.

            No red flag. Nothing to do with being cool.

            See me after school, must try harder!

          30. HG
            I’m calling some BS on the play here re: Ikea. I cannot recall the article, but it has been discussed previously that having an appreciation for the finer things, you would not frequent a “common” or department store because they are for “the great unwashed”. I imagine Ikea is as such for you, so isn’t the truth that it does have more to do with your image in shopping there than the quality of the goods or reasons you are citing here?’Fess up.

          31. Hey Jenna,
            HG following himself on Instagram? Ha ha. Say it ain’t so! Wouldn’t be surprised. It’s something I would do (just joking – Lolol) Btw I’m still waiting on your amazing story how you got rid of Mr. Deadbeat who could not appreciate a good woman and all she had to offer such as yourself. I wished your recovery sooner like 1.5 yrs ago. Jeanna – for the next guy just say NEXT … when you are ready. If he does not conform to your standards shove a sharp imaginary stiletto in his heart and move to NEXT. 🙂

          32. Sniglet,

            “Mr. Deadbeat” is right!😂
            Glad I can laugh at it now! Btw, my longer reply is awaiting moderation. Please take care of the minor concussion. I hope you are ok.

          33. K
            007 was a fun read, thanks for sharing! I never watch those movies because they’re men flicks, but I enjoyed looking at it through HG’s eyes- he does make ruthless one night stands and murdering annoying people sound so appealing, lol!

          34. kel
            When I was a kid, I loved James Bond flicks. Bond Villain: Jaws, Richard Kiel, the man with the metal teeth was awesome.

  6. Hi HG, not sure if anyone has asked this question already but I was wondering if you see The Shieldmaiden as ‘a person’ rather than ‘an appliance’.

    Also, you have said before that within this new dynamic you are fighting the ‘natural response’, which you are obviously capable of doing, being an Ultra, BUT must require some effort on your part.
    I would like to know: what motivates you to make this effort? Would the desire to secure a ‘huge asset’ be a valid enough reason?

    The workings of your complex mind intrigue me…


    1. Emp
      These comments may answer your one of your questions and they are located on: The Narcissist’s Pledge To You.

      JANUARY 24, 2019 AT 21:47
      Do you see shield maiden as an appliance?

      HG Tudor
      JANUARY 25, 2019 AT 00:09

      1. HG
        I just read your comment (thanks K) that you do not see SM as an appliance. As you’ve taught that narcs see us as appliances would you mind expounding on that? Thanks.

        1. wissh
          You may find these comments helpful, they are located on: The Narcissist’s Pledge to You.

          JANUARY 25, 2019 AT 00:39
          So, you no longer think of fuel sources as appliances? Wow.

          HG Tudor
          JANUARY 25, 2019 AT 00:42
          I do but I am endeavouring to adjust that with regard to The Shieldmaiden as a consequence of my involvement with the good doctors. I still regard others in my fuel matrix as appliances.

          1. I see that you, K, are helping readers out with references to HG’s comments. That is wonderful and very kind of you. 🙂

          2. Thank you Sniglet
            Ha ha ha… it’s great to see you again! Might as well put my library skills to good use by helping the readers out a bit. I think you will enjoy the IG.

          3. K, lovely seeing you post and helping others! I noticed some have questioned your intentions helping HG Tudor with finding articles. That is ridiculous. I don’t think you have any ulterior motives doing so. Just simply being kind, social and yes you do have an excellent skill.

            I don’t know how to use Twitter and Instagram. Those two never piqued my interest for some reason. Will try this time.

          4. Thank you, Sniglet!
            Ha ha ha…my motives are pure. Readers need answers and clarity and, if I can assist, I will direct them to comments or articles that may help them find their answers. Not many people are kind or helpful in my neck of the woods and it is important to reach out, be compassionate and socialize; it is how we connect.

            This is the link for the IG. You don’t have to join to view it, however, to comment you have to sign up, which is very simple to do.


  7. How long did you know SM before you dated her?

    What did you research and find out about her beforehand?

    Did you use your lieutenants to find out things about her?

    Where did you find information about her beforehand?

    Did you watch her without her knowing you were there?

    How did you introduce yourself to her?

    If you’re not mirroring her, are you still wearing your facade? A facade is confusing to me, all of your interests and hobbies and tastes/style are who you are unless you only do them to impress others.

    Do you naturally, coincidentally, enjoy doing the same things as SM? Is she taking you to new places and are you doing different things than usual? All we’ve really seen you do with her is go out to dinner a lot, go dancing once, go for a walk, a movie once.

    Do you work together?
    Will you continue to work together if you get married?
    Are you her boss?

    Do you live together now?
    I know in the golden period you can be very faithful and mindful only of her. Married narcissist’s can flirt and do everything short of intercoarse. Do you think you will be faithful to her if you marry, and to what degree?

    Are you learning to be less narcissistic?
    I’m learning to be less emotional, are you striving to be less manipulative? I know you need others to generate your own self esteem, are you finding a way to do it without hurting others?

    How will SM understand what being a narcissist is if you tell her about you if she’s never discovered narcissism?

      1. She’s tall, blonde, makes 7 figures, and is not married? I’m worried, HG, that you are entangled with a Greater.

  8. Ok HG, one last question (I think). I did a brief google search on the term Shieldmaiden. It is represented by a pretty cool rune. It reminds me of Strength times two. Does SM like to read runes? I wanted to put a lighter question in to balance my darker ones. Looking forward to reading YOUR answers to all of the questions you choose to answer.

    1. Thanks for that info Jaded. I’ll ask my friend who reads runes to send me the SM match. Interesting 👍

      1. Hi Narc noob. I’d be interested in your friend’s take. I used to own a set of Runes, but I didn’t really connect with them. I’ll do tarot here and there, but not so much any more.

        1. Hi Jaded, she does tarot as well. I cut down various fruit trees for her runes and she made them after getting engrossed with Vikings and then studying the runes and that era in more detail.

  9. Also HG, did Shieldmaiden come from a family of wealth?
    Would you consider reversing your vasectomy if she wants to have kids?
    What field or industry does her career belong to? Arts? Business? Social Media? Law?
    Aside from you, did you recognize any other narcissists in her circle whether friends or relatives?
    What is her Myers Briggs personality type?
    What is her Helen Fischer personality type?
    What is her favorite book ever?
    What was her favorite subject in school?
    What is her most favorite place on earth?

  10. Dear Mr Tudor,
    I’ve noticed you have used the “Danish” spelling for shieldmaiden
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  11. Hi HG,

    1. What is your favorite thing about Shieldmaiden?
    2. What do you see in her that makes you believe that she is The One?
    3. What kind of family did she come from? Is it a loving family? An ideal nuclear family? Does she have siblings? Are they all nice?
    4. Do you plan on immigrating to her country or she immigrating to yours?
    5. Has she been married before?
    6. What’s her favorite hobby?
    7. What’s her favorite thing about you?

  12. I have felt uncomfortable about this whole situation, even though it is none of my business. I have just recently thought you may be sharing about this here because there is something to be learned.

    I have also had the idea, (although you asked(?) if you should propose to her) that she may be a courtship/relationship surrogate, since you have said it is business relationship.

    My question is, Is she a sort of therapy/training?

    1. Hi Perse,

      If this has gone through twice I apologize as I tried earlier. I just wanted to say hi and nice to see you!

      1. Hi Jaded1!
        Just scrambling lately to keep ahead of the bills. And wordpress doesn’t help out when it doesn’t “notify” me of replies. : P
        How are things with you?

  13. What has triggered you to talk so much about her? What do the good doctors think about your relationship with her ?

  14. In a year from now … where do you aspire to be with her ? What steps are you gonna take to get there ?

  15. HG, something someone said to me made me wonder about your new dynamic. Is it possible that it is business in nature? Is it the type of dynamic where terms and conditions are spelled out in a contract of sort where it is not based on the typical infatuation but on the meeting of needs/wants?
    Regardless: if worst case scenario occurs and it doesn’t work out, are you going to be ok?
    I know you are a narcissist and don’t feel some of the same feelings. However, you don’t have the ability, like many narcissists, to subconsciously point to the other person as the complete fault; and you are implementing changes to your behavior based on what you have learned.

    1. Dear Getting There,
      Good suggestion…. I was thinking along the same
      Marriage of Convenience ? …..can be more successful than traditional
      Narcs are as quick as Speedy Gonzales and luvved up Pepe Le Pews … we all know …. haha

      A family member and his female partner, live separately and have done so for over 35 years … no kids together, but from previous marriages ) however, they are travelling companions, dine together each night, then he goes back to his house to sleep …. it works a treat for them
      They said they couldn’t tolerate being married or living together….. haha

      Another couple I knew, (both deceased) married for appearances. He was gay! It wasnt acceptable to “come out” back then
      No kids, however, they travelled extensively, both had a deep passion for their beloved cats, music, the arts and theatre, wined n dined at the best restaurants, they appeared the perfect happy couple

      I know a lass who kicked her defacto out, just before the two years were up, because she found out he wanted half of her estate
      Mr Tudor would have a “deadlocked contract or prenup” for sure … no worries there
      But then again. there’s only one Mr Tudor…. whatever works for him …. haha
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        1. Dear Sweetest Perfection,
          I adore your gif … that’s how I remember him and Penelope Pussycat …. luvved it and his classic one liners
          Would you believe, articles are now suggesting he was a mascot for sexual harassment and a stalker! This sordidness is an offence to my delicate nature!
          Enjoy those memories of your Pepe … “you sweet peanut of brittle” 🤣
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. SweetP & Bubbles – too funny!

            SweetestPerfection: I’m not sure I could keep my face straight during a love-making session with a boyfriend named ‘Pepe’…

          2. But WhoCares, he already had one, Pepe! ☺️ It’s a very common name in Europe btw, especially for people of Spanish descent. It has a nice history, too. Pepe is a short name for Joseph, based on the Catholic belief that Saint Joseph was Jesus’ “adoptive” father, in Latin, “pater putativus, expressed in legal documents with the siglas P.P.

          3. SweetestPerfection,

            It was both the skunk AND the French intonation, lol, but now I can add that it would be akin to calling “Oh Father…”

            (I had never looked up its etymology, thank-you.)

          4. WhoCares, I forgot to say my Pepe is French, which makes the whole case even more hilarious if you are trying to not think of the cartoon.

          5. SweetP,

            I should mention that I’ve lived in more than one French Canadian community and have travelled extensively in Quebec but somehow ‘Pepe’ is not common here…must be like you say; more of a European thing.

        2. Dear Sweetest Perfection and Who Cares,
          The history of his name is lovely, Pepe also means pepper in Italian ….
          I probably would’ve affectionately nicknamed him “my little skunk”
          Be a hoot if your real name is Penelope, Fifi, Lolita or Cherie …..Sweetest Perfection
          Nothing like a good “pep” talk girls
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      1. Bubbles!

        Yes…Maybe both HG & SM are ‘undercover’ and are simply maintaining ‘the facade’…?! Makes you think doesn’t it.

      2. Hello, Bubbles!

        I am so sorry! I am not receiving notifications in my email of responses.

        I’m sorry that he couldn’t let people know he was gay. That’s great that they appeared to share such a great life with each other! I have heard a few women over 40 who are interested in the type of relationship your family member has and I can understand why at times.

        Haha wouldn’t it be fun to be a fly on the wall during the negotiation sessions between HG and SM?

        1. Dear Getting There,
          It’s fine sweet pea, I can’t even get into word press
          Everyone already knew he was gay, but we didn’t point out the obvious … (he was the dry insulting funny sarcastic type … hilarious) we luvved him … they suited each other, as she stayed quiet while he hogged the limelight) perfect arrangement
          My mum n step dad slept in different rooms..he was her slave…. that worked too
          Mr Tudor as a “corporate couple”… hmmm, could be feasible and beneficial….. James Bond plus one, gets the job done twice as fast and more time for wining, dining and football ….haha
          Shieldmaiden is a CEO, so she would no doubt steer the Viking ship and leave more time for Mr Tudor to write his books … perfect

          Some couples, do do their own thing, barely see each other and that works too ( can’t really get my head around that one ) why bother
          I think most are in it, just for companionship only
          The trend these days is to marry your best mate if you’re still single by the time you’re thirty… haha
          I think I’d like to be a butterfly on the wall rather than just a fly … flies are ugly 🦋 (I’d rather die being beautiful, although SM would set me free)
          Butterfly kisses to you precious
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. Bubbles,
            The butterfly is perfect for you!! I discovered that butterflies symbolize renewal/rebirth and personal transformation when one landed on me once. You have helped a lot of people in those areas on here.

            I like your description of HG and SM! That is going to stick with me. Haha

            I used to joke with my parents that they should just arrange a marriage for me.

            Butterfly kisses back to you!

          2. Dearest Getting There,
            That is so so sweet of you lovely one … you’re too kind…. thank you
            Butterflies are very special indeed and hopefully we can learn from them and do the same here and transform ourselves 🦋
            Thanks again and sending you big Butterfly hugs
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  16. If you coned and stole from this special lady how would she get it back? That’s all I want to know…

  17. I see you are still smitten ;). HG, what do the good doctors say about this relationship? The only way this relationship could work is if you are cured of your Narcissism? Are you cured ? The only other way it could work is by alterations in your behavior (which is near impossible for extended periods of time for a narc) along with some understanding of the disorder by your partner. If she does not know, I do not see how this could work unless you are completely cured because at some point you will revert back to what is ingrained in you

  18. HG,

    You’ve stated that the “normal” dynamic does not apply within your relationship with the Shieldmaiden; also that you are not mirroring during the Golden Period.
    You have also stated many times (before you shared about the SM being in your life) that your manipulations are moving towards being prosocial in nature.
    Bearing this is mind (and other observations, including how a Greater works) I thought to ask the following:

    1.If your work here reached a point that you could reveal who you are (to the SM and everyone) so that you could embrace it more fully – and your fuel needs were still being met – would you leave your “day job” so you can focus more on your work on Narcissism, writing on other subjects and give attention to other pursuits?

       1.a. Would you ever triangulate your work and the blog, in a “prosocial” manner, with the Shieldmaiden in order to achieve this end?

    2. Does the Shieldmaiden have creative pursuits outside of (or within) her “day job”? (Your own day job sounds dangerous; if she is a supportive partner and wants to build future with you, she probably respects what you do but might also be very supportive of you focusing on ‘tamer’ pursuits? Or she may be supportive of you exploring skills/talents/passions that you’ve neglected – especially since you are getting older…

    3. Is the Shieldmaiden the “lucky one” where, if she were shielded from the negativity of devaluation, she would benefit from your relationship? (Because, even though it is hard to see when one is in devaluation or immediately following devaluation – narcissists actually can bring out the best in empaths, in addition to the worst (of course.) So, since you are incredibly skilled at tearing someone down; that means that conversely, you know how to build someone up. It’s harder to build up then it is to tear down, but I’m sure you’ve learned much through the blog and your work – as have we.

  19. Have you learned how to control your fury?
    Have you learned how to create peace and harmony? a win-win situation for both parties. flexibility?
    How will serious matters be handled? with a heavy hand?
    Can there ever really be a “one and only”?

  20. HG, thanks for inviting us to ask you questions.

    Considering the ‘new dynamic’,

    Can you please explain what exatcly made you want to alter your behaviour?

    What have you found to be working for you (in terms of change), and what do you consider to be rock solid behaviour in yourself?

    Thank you!

  21. Does she know you are into cocaine?
    What if she decided to get pregnant?
    Are you on Tinder as well?
    Would you hoover your previous IPPS or IPSS of there was a HT and HEC as soon as the GP is over?
    How long did your previous GP last?
    How long can you stay in an entanglement after the delauation is a fact? Is this determined by how fast you meet a new (promising) prospect?
    Does a greater (or mid ranger) get into formal relationships more readily that Lesser’s? In my experience my ex ML wanted to be just «intimate friends» with all his entangled women.

        1. HG, do you have any rituals that you do before/during your writing process? do you drink or take any medications all in the name of your craft? If I didn’t have kids, I would probably be another Thompson Hunter, so I am asking from a position of curiosity and respect.

          1. 1. Fresh empathic soul at 5am.
            2. Walk thrice withershins around a lightning blasted oak at midnight

            Genius ensues.

      1. mommypino
        You may find this comment helpful.

        HG Tudor
        NOVEMBER 30, 2017 AT 11:43
        We are addicts so addiction to drugs and alcohol are going to appear.

        1. Thank you K! I’m just glad that HG doesn’t anymore (even though it’s none of my by). It’s not good for the health and it makes people age faster!!

          1. My pleasure mommypino!
            Long-term drug and alcohol abuse does a number on your looks and smoking, too.

          2. It’s interesting all of the focus in society on chemically manufactured drugs and addiction, when lurking all the while has been the most destructive in that which is organic and of the mind.

  22. Did she never know or suspect about the devaluation and abuse of your Last girlfriend? Did they meet? What did you tell her?

  23. Hi HG. To further narrow down the first half of my follow up, if SM has met Matrinarc, how much triangulation, if any, is involved in the dynamic? If Matrinarc uses triangulation to push and pull between you and SM, how does SM handle it?

  24. The more I think about this, the more I see the relationship aligning with all the so called *mind f$%s* your kind give out. I feel for SM but also for your bloggers, commentors.

    All along you have said that your kind can’t change. That intimacy is not possible. When fuel is no longer flowing… etc. Etc.

    I guess I’ll just have to wait and see before I make any further judgements .

      1. Thanks HG. I guess my searching didn’t get me far. There were 600 plus comments but I didn’t get this t-shirt. I’ll have to look again.

        1. Very well, since you searched – this dynamic is unique owing to a variety of factors, it’s also embryonic. There is and should be no comparison with anyone’s dynamic with the Narcissist in their life, therefore all I have written and explained is highly relevant and should be applied.

  25. Interested Questions as follows:

    1) Is the ShieldMaiden protecting herself or the Narcissist or inevitably both…in the end, which “reality” will prevail i.e. her own or that of the view of the Narcissist?

    2) Is it possible that the sense of self of the Shield Maiden has been compromised via an unharmonious balance of the need of other people (of which the Narcissist needs for his or her own balance)?

    3) Is shielding a Narcissist, in the Narcissist’s best interest and would that make such person as IPS or Secondary Source, etc?

    4) Does a Shield Woman have control over being a Shield Woman – i.e. is it a choice or a forceful commitment?

    1. I had a snark response because you rudely tried to speak for HG in response to my questions. I won’t (for now) stoop to that because your questions are as valid as mine. Oh hell, who am I kidding? Don’t you have all of the answers? Why aren’t you answering your own questions?

      1. This blog has not changed a bit!!! 1jaded1, I would be happy if you took the time to answer my questions…I genuinely do not know the answers to those…the others I do but help me out!

        1. I haven’t been here much in a year or so, Sarah Hope. I had a knee jerk reaction when I saw your answers. Call me touchy or worse. It’s fine. I’ll wait for HG’s responses to your questions because only he can answer your questions. I can’t wait to read his post, but I have to.

        2. Hi Sarah Hope. I have been here a handful of times in the past year (yeah I’m a slacker). I can’t say if the blog has changed. I had a knee jerk reaction when I saw your answers to questions that I asked HG.

          I can’t answer the questions you ask because I’m not HG. I hope he does answer your questions. They are just as valid as anyone’s.

  26. OMG! I can’t help it honestly I can’t! You said you see SM as your equal, but what about everyone else, do you still them as being beneath you, including us? Or has that changed? If not how will you explain that to SM, I’m sure she is not like that at all especially since she is an MSE, even if you don’t tell her she will read about it especially if she reads your work. Do you think she will be ok and supportive of you for not only treating but believing everyone else is beneath you?

    1. Foolme1time,
      Of course HG thinks we are beneath him. After all, we are on HIS blog, not the other way around. It doesn’t really matter if anyone thinks you are below them, it matters what you think. I would think that it would be a major turn off for the SM, if/when she discovers that HG thinks others are below him. Maybe he has found a way to compensate for this narcissistic trait? Humanitarian work/ Charity Donations to compensate some of his narcissistic traits? That would probably help, along with his awareness and self control

      1. Hi ANM,

        I also wonder how SM would feel when she finds out how Hg treats Kim when she calls him for some closure. Surely SM would hate his behavior, and maybe hate him? He probably tells SM that Kim has mental health issues, and if SM buys that, then she’s not as smart as Hg says she is (on IG).

      2. Anm, Yes I could see where Humanitarian work, Donating to charities could possibly be something he would do if it benefited him in some way. She might just be fooled by it though.

  27. Once the devaluation sets in, I will be interested and will have many questions.

    She will disappoint you. We all do.

    I adore you HG, but no.

  28. Do you consider this love or infatuation ? Maybe lust? Because I thought you were not capable of love.

  29. HG, Is there a reason you would have to get married so soon into the relationship? Could you not live together first and see if this dynamic is something as time passes you will be able to continue with? You have said before that your longest relationship has lasted 7 years, was this with your wife or someone you just lived with? Also you at one time commented that your golden periods lasted roughly around six months, wouldn’t it be better for SM if you waited until after the golden period was over ( yes we all would love that first stage of infatuation to last forever, but it usually never does.) to see if you can keep that dynamic going as the relationship moves into the next stage? Now not only you H G but I myself hope this is my last question!

  30. Excuse my negligence, HG, I just came back from a work trip and wasn’t very focused on this. Of course, a question of vital importance about SM is: Does she ADORE Depeche Mode? Liking only is mediocrity, imop.

  31. H G, you said you’ve known SM for two years, did you know then that she was the one or were there others lined up for ipps, if so how did you finally come up with picking SM? Is it like going to the grocery store and looking over labels and then you choose which is the healthiest or which one is the better bargain? If there were more then just her, did the others know you were interested in them? Also in changing your dynamic did you start using lower levels on your matrix for this experiment before using it with SM?

  32. I’m looking forward to this article about you and the Shieldmaiden, HG.

    My questions are:

    1. How have you treated or behaved with the SM so far in comparison with previous intimate relationships? Has the dynamic with her been similar to or different from your dynamic with past girlfriends, and if so, in what ways.

    2. Are you still in the Golden Period with the SM? If so, how long do you imagine it will last?

    3. Is the SM aware about narcissism? Does she know or suspect that you are a narcissist or that you have narcissistic tendencies.

    4. Does the SM know any of your previous girlfriends?

    5. When writing about past relationships, you have described some of your abusive actions (eg. Ice Cold with Alex; Tell Me What You are Thinking; injuring a girlfriend while she was running around a running track, etc). Have you had any urge or instinctive wish to do something abusive to the SM? If so, why and what has it been.

    6. How would you describe your feelings towards the SM, if you were completely honest and open.

    7. How would you feel if you could only have the SM as an intimate partner for the next 10 or 20 years, in the event you were married to her and were committed to being a faithful husband?

    I could go on and on. The more I think about your relationship with the SM, the more questions I have, but I think you have way more than enough questions from everyone already.

    Thank you for asking readers for their questions HG. Good luck with your article. I am very interested in reading it, and I wish you and the SM all the best.

    1. HG,

      I have just one more question that would be very interesting to know…

      8. On a scale of 1 to 10, how manipulative are you when it comes to the SM? For instance, ‘1’ would be only rarely manipulative, while ’10’ would be constantly manipulative and controlling.

      Thank you HG.

    2. Q1. How have you treated or behaved with the SM so far in comparison with previous intimate relationships? Has the dynamic with her been similar to or different from your dynamic with past girlfriends, and if so, in what ways.

      A: Need.

      Q2. Are you still in the Golden Period with the SM? If so, how long do you imagine it will last?

      A: Irrelevant.

      Q3. Is the SM aware about narcissism? Does she know or suspect that you are a narcissist or that you have narcissistic tendencies.

      A: Irrelevant.

      Q4. Does the SM know any of your previous girlfriends?

      A: She does not care.

      5. When writing about past relationships, you have described some of your abusive actions (eg. Ice Cold with Alex; Tell Me What You are Thinking; injuring a girlfriend while she was running around a running track, etc). Have you had any urge or instinctive wish to do something abusive to the SM? If so, why and what has it been.

      A: I am clueless.

      Q6. How would you describe your feelings towards the SM, if you were completely honest and open.

      A: Am I allowed to feel?

      Q7. How would you feel if you could only have the SM as an intimate partner for the next 10 or 20 years, in the event you were married to her and were committed to being a faithful husband?

      A: Am I allowed to feel?

  33. Apologies HG I’ve thought of one more. If you decide to ask SM to marry you and you tell her who and what you are, have you thought about the consequences of doing this? Are you afraid of how it might change the way she looks and feels about you? She is a very intelligent woman so she will naturally want to read all that she can about narcissists. This in itself could change your relationship. Or she could just love you for who and what you are in which case you couldn’t of chosen a better name for her! 💞

  34. How did you set out to meet her / plan to meet her / were you looking actively for so. and if yes where & how?

    How long did it take you to decide to start a formal relationship?
    What was your decision based on (in detail)?
    What did she have her competition did not have? Or what did others do that saved them?

  35. See that she is somewhat younger than you. I feel bad for her a empath at a rough sea. How long do you anticipate her fuel will last?

    1. Does she know who you are and that you are writing this article. Is it possible for you to reveal to her your personality type.. I think knowing gives her power to stay at her choice as well, knowing who one is dealing with enables one to take reponsibility for their own choices.

  36. Thank you for this opportunity HG.

    1. In regard to the Prime Aims, Fuel is a given, but how much of her character traits do you/have you mirrored? And what about the residual benefits?
    2. Should you marry her, will you have something in your pre-nup regarding your Persona HG Tudor and all that entails?
    3. Will you, or have you shared this Blog with her?
    4. Have you, or will you bring her to meet the Good Doctors?
    5. Has this Blog and working with us Empaths/Victims helped you not to devalue, manipulate, gaslight and do all those horrific things in your Devil’s Toolkit? Because you do not want to devastate her in that way?
    6. Eventually she will appear merely human to you. How will you handle this?
    7. Is she already aware of your narcissism? If so, how does she deal with it?
    8. Should she eventually trigger you, will you be able to stop yourself from applying your mind breaking machinations on her? Good God, As an Elite, I can only imagine what you are capable of and I worry for her.

    I’m very happy for you to have found a person who brings you much joy.
    I wish you a lifetime of happiness, you so deserve it.


    1. There is a better life than this conception of reality when not connected to the bona fide issues….

  37. HG,

    Have you told SM about your diagnosis and your treatment?
    Does she know you are writing about her and posting about her on IG?
    If not, do you think you are objectifying her by doing those things?
    Are you worried at all that she will find out? Or (to break that question down) are you not worried because she won’t find out or are you not worried because you don’t think she will mind?

    Honestly, the only things that bother me are that she might not know as much about you as we do and that you might be using her for fodder.

          1. lol. sorry, HG. that was in response to Sarah Hope answering everyone’s questions . I was being facetious. maybe you are too.

        1. Hi SMH
          There seems to be a delayed reaction to last weeks full moon. The lunatics are all over the blog today.

          1. lol Tappi, I am certainly having a lot of laughs on here lately. Maybe it is the moon.

  38. No questions. I don’t believe she exists. She is a fantasy figure of your imagination, because it’s less bother than having a real girlfriend. I think you’re tired, but the online interactions keep you just above water. Life is dark, unfair, and repetitively boring. You’re too good for it.

  39. I am so glad for you that you’re working on change. I think that if you can manage not to devalue and just break up with her without trying to gain fuel when you get bored in a year that will be great progress.

  40. -what would a successful relationship in this case look like?
    -What is your goal of sharing the relationship publicly with an audience?
    -What are the positive aspects of sharing the relationship publicly? What are the challenges?
    -How does her nordic background come into play in discussions about empaths and narcs? (does she shiled her emotions more so it’s harder to get to her?)
    -What are you trying to prove by sharing this publicly? that narcs have cures?

  41. One more and I’m done. If you decide to ask her to Marry you and you explain to her about being a narcissist and the fuel you need, including your matrix. What happens if she doesn’t like the idea of you using people for fuel, especially ones you were intimate with ( even though you are now know longer intimate with them) would you be able to give up the rest of your matrix to keep her? Would she provide you with enough fuel? Thank you for the opportunity to ask you these questions H G.

  42. If SM has talked to you about any previous relationships she has had could you tell if they were narcissists? If so did you tell her what your thoughts on that person were?

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