Dr O Vs The Shieldmaiden – Part One
Since I am a polite man (when it is merited) it is of course necessary to effect some introduction to the second and third parts of the triangle. I am of course the first part and into my triangle have come Dr O and The Shieldmaiden.
I will deal with the two ladies in a chronological fashion.
The Shieldmaiden is my Intimate Partner Primary Source, in common parlance, she is my girlfriend. I have known the Shieldmaiden for a number of years, but she has only become my IPPS recently. Like many appliances, The Shieldmaiden was a tertiary source when we first ´met´. We both knew about one another before we physically met. Indeed, it would be accurate to state that she was a secondary source before there was any physical interaction between us. She rose through the fuel matrix and now holds the most important position of IPPS. She loves and adores me.
Dr O is one half of the good doctors. I have known her also for a number of years, but not as long as I have known The Shieldmaiden. Dr O was not known to me before I met her and therefore we met in person as tertiary sources. I, naturally, made it my business so know much about her thereafter. Dr O is tasked by the perfidious traitors in the Tudor family with addressing my apparently aberrant and disordered behaviour with a view to bringing me to heel. Good luck with that. She loves and adores me.
Thus, there is a triangle, me, The Shieldmaiden and Dr O, but how does this triangle function, what is the nature of the interaction and why is there a “versus” included?
Time for you to find out.
It is a fresh and invigorating Autumnal day. Invigorating because as ever I am well-fuelled as I walk along the pavement to my appointment with Dr O at her consulting rooms. Fresh because the sky is clear of cloud and the sun glows brightly, the shafts of golden sunlight percolating through the trees of the nearby part, the leaves now turning as the year enters its final months. Shafts of sunlight illuminate the mist and as I walk, the backdrop of the city and its sounds all around me, I maintain my customary vigilance. It amuses me that MatriNarc still has her spy following me around, or rather trying to follow me around. He is not incompetent, but one would hardly afford him the label of master and he has now largely focussed on hovering with intent around the street which leads to Dr O and her consulting rooms so he can at least confirm to MatriNarc that I have attended.
Now, you might think, why doesn’t MatriNarc just ascertain from Dr O, or her receptionist, that I attended. She will not do that because MatriNarc wishes to pretend that she is not interested in my attendance, but she is obsessed with it. She also does not do so because she will not be told about it either. One of the benefits of the triangle.
I am well-fuelled courtesy of the ever-obliging goddess which is The Shieldmaiden and several telephone calls I made as I walked to my appointment. I prefer to walk. Naturally it is exercise but moreover it allows me freedom rather than being stuck in a traffic jam (they are a daily consequence of this city) and I remain fleet of foot so if the need arises I can evade into thin air or pounce from thin air, dependent upon the circumstances.
I bound up the steps into the impressive main entrance of the building where the consulting rooms of the good doctors are based. I flew in to the airport very early this morning having flown through the night, but the effect of a long-haul flight does not impact on me. This is a combination of regularly experiencing them and moreover the energising and empowering effects of the potent and plentiful fuel which has poured into me in the preceding hours. There have been no credible threats to my control, even the slight wrinkles which arose in two of my telephone calls came with fuel from the relevant appliances and I was readily able to assert my control through the spoken word.
I do however know that a challenge to my control is waiting on the other side of the door which I am now facing. It is a challenge that I relish and is just another part of the games. The games which must always be played. I feel a slight surge of power inside of me, to you, it would be akin to nervous apprehension or excited anticipation.
Not to me.
That was a dollop of Thought Fuel as a consequence of envisaging the forthcoming reactions of Dr O in the consultation ahead of me. As always, she will alternate between her forensic probing as the professional she loves projecting and her figurative skipping and dancing around me like a love-sick teenager. It is all fuel to me.
I never sit and wait for Dr O. That is thanks to Alastor
Sitting and waiting means that one has to be reactive to another. That means being subjected to control and that will never do.
I know much about Dr O. Far more than she realises. It is so entertaining to dangle the pieces of information, the tidbits of intelligence and the morsels of knowledge in front of her and watch as she tries to mask her surprise, her begrudging admiration and her fear that I know so such things. Not once however has she ever sought to admonish me or ask where this information has come from, but I know, thanks to Alastor that she repeatedly tries to find out.
That is one of Dr O´s weaknesses. She talks too much to people who are very good at listening. Being trained to be a good listener is a much under-rated skill. I rate it very highly indeed. I listen carefully to her, far more carefully than she listens to me in fact. For instance, I know that one of D O´s first sentences will be to enquire about my travels with The Shieldmaiden. She will mention it as a “frolic” or a “voyage” or an. “adventure”. Never acknowledging what it really it. She will ask under the pretence that she wants to understand how my prosocial behaviours, which Dr O believes she is the sole architect of, have been applied and if they are being maintained. She will ask under the guise of wanting to enable me to be more constructive, less destructive and “a good and healthy contributor to the lives of others.” Ha ha ha. I already am, you deluded woman. The real reason she will ask this, the true reason she will make this one of her first questions is because her jealousy of The Shieldmaiden has a firm hold on her.
As I intended.
And that jealousy generates blindness which I can exploit.
There is ante-room which leads to four consulting rooms which radiate away from this ante-chamber. The door to Dr O is second on the left and I stride towards her door. There is a lady sat on one of the expensive chairs waiting to see one of the other doctors. I look at her as she sits reading from a page which, judging by the others appended to it, will be some kind of legal document created by the ball-washing bastards in the legal profession. I do not know the lady. She does not look up from her reading as she is suitably engrossed in its contents. There is the faintest flicker of annoyance but her failure to look up cannot impact with any substance and I dismiss her ignorance.
I place my hand upon the brass handle of the door which leads to the inner sanctum of Dr O. I do not knock. She knows who it will be and I know she will be ready. By that, I mean at least she will not be doing anything other than be expecting me, but I doubt she will be ready for what will unfold. That is because she is not me. Another small flame of Though Fuel ignites at the image of her face looking upon me as we spar with one another and with that, glance at her name and initials on the pomposity plate on her door and open the door.
“Good morning, good doctor,” I announce as I enter the room.
There she is.
“Good morning HG,” she replies, all traces of her accent almost removed. Almost. She likes to become someone else. Not as much as I do though. Being someone else is the very essence of what I am and what I do, both when I am hunting in the well-heeled boltholes or the down-at-heel foxholes.
“Isn’t it just?” I smile pleasantly towards the pristine Dr O, sat behind her desk.
I sit at one of the two chairs facing her desk but do not wait for her to provide me with any acknowledgement or agreement. Her unwavering gaze on me readily suffices. Accordingly, I continue to speak.
“O wild West Wind, thou breath of Autumn’s being, thou, from whose unseen presence the leaves dead are driven, like ghosts from an enchanter fleeing, yellow, and black, and pale, and hectic red, pestilence-stricken multitudes: o thou, who chariotest to their dark wintry bed.” I recite channelling the spirit of autumn through me and bringing it into this stark chamber.
“Very good,” she says flatly which only serves to amuse me rather than irritate because I can see in her eyes she found it delightful. The eyes, you can forget about all that bollocks about being the windows of the soul, they are the pipeline to fuel.
I fall silent and look at her with expectation, tilting my head slightly to invite her to speak again.
“Coleridge?” she asks.
“Oh Dr O, what will we do with you? Shelley. Ode to the West Wind, a wind that I flew in on a mater of hours ago,” I comment and dangle the invitation for her.
“Ah yes, another trip, so, how was this latest adventure with The Shieldmaiden?” she asks and leans forward slightly as if she is assuming the role of inquisitor, when really she is in the role of confessor.
Adventure. There it is.
Dr O likes adventure. She lies to adventure and I could be moved to point that out to her, but I am not going to do so. I am going to give her what she wants but actually does not want.
I am going to talk about The Shieldmaiden and I and she will have to listen and do so as he jealousy rises and pushes her to comment, to question and remark.
But why is she jealous of The Shieldmaiden? Why would a successful, intelligent, attractive and interesting professional and weaver of webs be jealous? Why is she competing so readily with The Shieldmaiden and what is driving her to seek to win and to triumph of my angel?
For that, we have to go back to the beginning……..
398 thoughts on “Dr O Vs The Shieldmaiden – Part One”
HG, out of genuine curiosity, does it bother you that you’re sort of obligated to attend therapy because your mom insists? (and if I recall correctly, if you do not, you miss out on inheritance? I may be incorrect.)
Like, I know in an overall standpoint, you’re in control of what you do, but doesn’t it annoy you that your mother gets the satisfaction of thinking she’s making you follow her orders? Or no?
I’m sure you’re on another epic “adventure”, so safe travels, HG! 🙂
The knowledge that I am utilising it to secure my own aims offsets the irritation at having her believe she has control over me.
I can see myself doing this (as liken to Dr. O.) The challenge of breaking (changing, figuring out/winning against) the narc. The risk is high for an empath, in fact it is rather ruled by ego, the common thread of the empath and the narc. The ties that bind. It is fascinating that the ones who know best think they have the upper hand. Liken to the navy seal who goes in for a rescue and drowns himself because he is too confident in his abilities and mistakes his abilities to be greater than they are; not taken into account the tide is beyond anyone’s skill to navigate.
I am not at all surprised by Dr. O, especially when good looks are involved. Its chemistry (damn the brain) at work and full on manipulation on HG’s part. It’s like a novel, poetry in motion but with a ghastly ending for the good doctor. I find it intriguing and appalling all at the same time.
Friday came and there’s no Part II. I was living for this moment! When will we have the continuation, HG? You have a loyal audience here wanting to read more…
When I decide SP.
Hahaha! I saw this coming.
Why did you ask then?
Because I wanted to.
Says the epitome of normalcy…
You ask a question and state you expected that response. That’s fruitless and therefore odd. Your attempt to deflect by referring to my lack of normalcy is poor. I’m proud not to be normal do your comment is ineffective and ultimately irrelevant to the issue of your odd behaviour.
HG, I was just joking with you, given the fact that I don’t even believe in an idea of normalcy. I don’t consider my asking you odd, the answer you gave me was one that I considered to have a high probability of receiving from you. That didn’t deter me from asking you anyway, because there was still a possibility that you might have answered a different way, that’s all. Until you get a response, any possible answer is like Schrödinger’s cat, both alive and dead.
I smell logic. HG approves
This made me very happy (that’s ET speaking now).
I cheat, once I get to the middle of the book I go the the back. I hate suspense but I know my donation in honor of DV month will go towards a great cause. Carry On!!! In true narc form😍
NOOOO not this weekend… no time to read! 😉
SP don’t you know that the Narcissist is always right!? Haha they are like spoiled kids. You can’t reason with them. They always win 🙂
Hg she may not be jealous of the SM
She may be wondering why she can’t go on so many luxury trips yet she is a doctor .
Would you be transferring what you want onto DrO
I see no evidence of jealousy here.
She is probably tired , sick of work , feeling blah but I think you WANT to think she is jealous of SM
A fair observation Kiki, but she is jealous and it will become more and more apparent as you read.
HG, As a truth seeker, I can wait to read further, I am so curious to see why Dr. O is jeaulous and what the outcome will be. Have you showed her pictures of SM. She might be jeaulous if she saw how beautiful SM is. She also sounds beautiful herself.
Shield Maiden is very beautiful.
And of course ,you are gorgeous right ?
I have to say I thought the same Kiki. I would think a psychiatrist of her caliber would not have interest in someone she knows is a Narcisissist. With that said, she’d hardly be the first to get involved with a patient
And how many people continue to engage with a narcissist Lori even when they know that is what they are doing? ET is powerful.
ET is what ruined me on my first date HG I didnt see the mirroring, the compliments ,the same likes , if I didnt have ET I wouldn’t be in this situation I am in it now! It doesnt matter what degree you have ET sucks. It doesn’t hold anyone back. Narcissit are magnets.
OK so now I have to ask to the readers, can anyone help me please… I’m struggling so hard to get the concept of ET. I already bought the zero impact assistance, and I understand what is being explained, but I cannot get a grip of the concept ET.
ET, would it be for Dr O to think: well if I have sex with him then maybe he likes it better with me than with SM so that’s my chance? Is that an example of ET?
Because clearly that is not logic.
Is everything with emotion ET? Loving a pet is ET? Love is ET?
ET obscures the application of logic.
1. He is a narcissist. If I engage with him I end up being empaled on The Devil´s Pitchfork. Therefore I shall have nothing more to do with this person in any way. That is logic.
2. I need to tell him what a douche bag he is and how much he has hurt me, it is not right that he can do this to me. That is emotional thinking. It goes against the logic of (1) and SEEMS logical (he has hurt me and should know this, his behaviour is out of order and he should be held to account) but it contravenes the logic of 1 and is accordingly ET.
1. This sports car is very attractive. I cannot really afford it and my current car is only one year old. I will not buy it. That is logic.
2. I will look really cool in this car, the chicks will admire me, my friends will like it and some will be jealous, it will feel good to own it. This is emotional thinking as it flies in the face of the logic of (1). You can neither afford the car or do you need it.
Emotions do not necessarily equate to emotional thinking, but any thinking which contravenes logic is being driven by emotion and is thus emotional thinking.
I recommend you organise a GOSO Consultation so I can assist you further.
“I recommend you organise a GOSO Consultation so I can assist you further.”
Thank you very much Mr Tudor, I didn’t want to take your time on this matter. I will absolutely do a GOSO Consultation later this month, since I have more questions on this matter.
I will listen to the Zero Impact again with this additional info just kindly offered by you.
I look forward to assisting you.
But HG we are not professionals, She is extremely knowledgeable in her field. I can’t Imagine she’s that foolish. I’m. not saying it’s not possible after all she is human I’m just saying I think it would be unusual. This would definitely be a flaw in her professionalism because psychiatrists especially are trained not to get close to patients.
Would most of us here get involved with a Narcissist knowing what we know now? I think probably not.
I’m not suggesting that you aren’t an incredibly charming guy but she should know how this goes. Anyway I’m rooting for the Shieldmaiden
Lori, maybe that fact that she is extremely knowledgeable in her field is working against her and her emotional thinking has tricked her into thinking she can handle it.
Mercy,that’s a good one !
This was wonderful HG! I have a few questions that probably won’t make any sense to you why I am asking them, although you do know better then anyone how my mind works so they possibly may not be that strange to you after all.
Your brother Lennox, do you get along with his wife? Also after the incident with the it girl I’m sure it was hard for him to ask another women out on a date? Did you per chance introduce them? How does your Mother get along with your sister in law? As always thank you for your time in reading this.
3. Like the narcissist she is.