A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 11
To enable people to understand the dynamics and behaviours associated with narcissism and especially to enable them to then understand how similar behaviours has impacted on them by utilising a high profile example, the analysis continues following further activity. This analysis will assist in dissecting behaviours seen in narcissism and also the responses of a narcissist to the actions of other people.
1. Phone Alone
It was reported that since Miss Markle had returned to Canada to be with son Archie as explained in A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 9 she would join the Sandringham Summit, which took place on Monday 13th January by telephone.
The failure to attend the summit is a manifestation of
- Grandiosity ( Unconscious Response – “I am doing something more important than to grace you with my response”)
- Plausible Deniability and Facade Management (Conscious Response -“I am not going to be there because I am looking after Archie”)
- Blame-Shifting (Unconscious Response -“Harry, you need to sort this out because you will be there and if you do not, it is your fault.”)
- Lack of Accountability (Unconscious Response -“I do not need to be there because I am not accountable for my what I do, it is never my fault.”)
- Sense of Entitlement (Unconscious Response – “I do what I want, not what others want me to do.”)
- Need For Control (Unconscious Response – “I am not going to attend and give you control by being summoned to you, instead I will assert control by leaving BUT I will join in by telephone because I CHOOSE that (you chose to summon me) and thus I have control”)
- Lack of Emotional Empathy (Unconscious Response – “I am leaving Harry to deal with any flack.” “I do not have to be respectful to the Queen of England.”)
However, Her Majesty the Queen determined that there was to be no conference call. This is not because the Queen knows exactly what she is dealing with (although she has come across plenty of narcissists in her time and through a combination of her experience and sage advice from those who know what is happening) but because she knows enough to avoid further difficulties. The Queen needed to ensure the summit was confidential and she would not know who might be listening in with Miss Markle at the other end and thus stated she could not join in by conference call.)
What would this decision have done? Somebody would have conveyed that decision to Miss Markle and whoever did so will likely have conveyed it with some emotional content (puzzlement, irritation, sympathy, understanding to be just a few of the potential candidates) and thus would have provided fuel. There was no wounding. However, the Queen´s decision would amount to a Challenge to Miss Markle because it did not accord with what she wanted to do and therefore would be Challenge Fuel.
(To understand precisely how you only ever have three types of interaction with the narcissist, what they are what happens utilise this Logic Bulletin The 3 Key Interactions With the Narcissist )
What would Miss Markle´s response to this Challenge Fuel be? It would be a threat to her control which means she must respond by asserting control. Ordinarily, this is done over the protagonist (i.e. the person who has caused the threat to control in the first place) namely the Queen. This will not have been possible. Miss Markle would not have been able to contact the Queen and argue the toss about being able to have the conference call (although she may well have tried this route and been thwarted) and thus she could not assert control over the Queen.
In such circumstances the narcissist must still assert control but does so by asserting it over by somebody else and in the mind of the narcissist, the gaining of fuel and asserting control over the other person, causes them to believe (from the narcissistic perspective) that they have control over the protagonist and thus all is well (for now) in the world of the narcissist. This is the process of Narcissistic Transference.
Who would this be? Most likely Prince Harry. As the Intimate Partner Primary Source to Miss Markle, she would have contacted him and made it very clear what the joint (her) position was with regard to the stepping back, that he had better ensure it is done (Issuing of Threat) or there will be problems (Threatened Loss) or you will fail to make me happy/you will upset me (Use of Guilt) and if you do this then we will be fine (Promised Gain). Prince Harry will have been given his orders in no uncertain terms, although they will not have been issued as such (Plausible Deniability).
Thus, this is why, you , if you have been ensnared by a narcissist will have often found yourself on the receiving end of the narcissist´s unpleasant manipulations because somebody else has either wounded the narcissist or issued challenge fuel and has thus threatened the narcissist´s control. The narcissist cannot affect the protagonist so they turn to YOU and assert control over you by either blaming you, accusing you or whining to you.
An easy example of this is the person who is using a hammer to hammer in a nail, hits his thumb and blames you because you are stood nearby “Look what you made me do”. The person with the hammer is at fault, but they cannot blame themselves, they might assert control over the nail (by lashing at it in a frenzy with the hammer) but it is easier to blame you because you will react and your reaction provides validation and a sense of control to the wielder of the hammer.
2. Emotional Empathy From the Queen and the Statement
As explained in A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 10 the outcome of the Sandringham Summit evidenced emotional empathy on the part of the Queen and most likely the Duke of Cambridge also, with regard to the situation of her grandson and his brother, Prince Harry.
What was actually being stated by the Queen and how would that statement be perceived by Miss Markle?
First, let’s go through the short statement and identify what is also being said by the Queen, from her position of someone who, unlike a narcissist, exhibits Emotional Empathy (for further information see Understanding Empathy : The Difference Between Empath, Normal and Narcissist)
Here is the statement, additional comment in bold and italics.
“Today my family had very constructive discussions on the future of my grandson and his family. (Prince Harry remains one of us and when we talk together, it is sensible and constructive.)
“My family and I are entirely supportive of Harry and Meghan’s desire to create a new life as a young family. Although we would have preferred them to remain full-time working members of the Royal Family, we respect and understand their wish to live a more independent life as a family while remaining a valued part of my family. (We care about Prince Harry and whilst it troubles us that this decision has been made and we suspect that Harry is being unduly influenced, we recognise that it is futile and unhelpful to him to prevent it and therefore we are letting him know that he is cared for and we would rather (and by extension his own family) stayed. We are going to have to let him go on his own way for now, but we are there for him at all times, when he needs us.)
“Harry and Meghan have made clear that they do not want to be reliant on public funds in their new lives. (Message received loud and clear – good luck with that.)
“It has therefore been agreed that there will be a period of transition in which the Sussexes will spend time in Canada and the UK. (We would rather he did not go, but he is going and this appears as compromise for both sides so let’s adopt that for Harry´s sake)
“These are complex matters for my family to resolve, and there is some more work to be done, but I have asked for final decisions to be reached in the coming days.” (We realise it is pointless to try and stop Harry and therefore let’s get on with it.)
How would the statement have been received by Miss Markle?
“Today my family had very constructive discussions on the future of my grandson and his family. (Unconscious Response – “You can call it what you like, we are going, I win, I have control.”)
“My family and I are entirely supportive of Harry and Meghan’s desire to create a new life as a young family. ( Unconscious Sense of Entitlement – “So you should be.”)Although we would have preferred them to remain full-time working members of the Royal Family, we respect and understand their wish to live a more independent life as a family while remaining a valued part of my family. ( Unconscious Sense of Control – “Yes you tried to stop us, but you failed because I am Queen Meghan.”)
“Harry and Meghan have made clear that they do not want to be reliant on public funds in their new lives. ( Unconscious Sense of Control – “Harry did as I told him. Good boy.”) (Unconscious Sense of Control and Entitlement – “Yes, we say that now although of course this may not turn out to actually happen, but for now we needed to say something to ensure we got control so stating financial independence was a way of achieving it, but come on, that does not mean we have to stuck by that, because I do what I want.)
“It has therefore been agreed that there will be a period of transition in which the Sussexes will spend time in Canada and the UK. (Unconscious Sense of Control and Salami Slicing and Entitlement – “I got what I wanted. This period of transition will salami slice Harry away from interfering influences (to the extent I need to retain him) and of course this transition will pan out as I wish.)
“These are complex matters for my family to resolve, and there is some more work to be done, but I have asked for final decisions to be reached in the coming days.” (Unconscious Sense of Control – “Sure thing. I have got what I want, so let’s get this done.”) (The conscious response will be “See, we are doing the right thing for us Harry and we need to be be away from the poison of the British people who do not like us and the awful British media so you can save me just as you wish you could have done for your mother, for which I am truly grateful and truly sorry. See, they agreed with what we are doing, so that proves it is the right thing to do.”) This conscious response will also be what causes many people to be taken in by believing this is what is behind this “stepping back” owing to a lack of understanding about narcissism. Those who have experienced and understand narcissism recognise that it is something else entirely.
3. I Got My Way, So Business As Usual!
Buzzfeed News reported as follows (my commentary in bold and italics)
“Meghan Markle (aka the Duchess of Sussex) visited a women’s centre in Canada amid the global spotlight on her and her husband following their decision to “step back” as senior members of the royal family. ( Unconscious Facade Management – I am a good person, see the good I do, even when there is a storm around me.) (Unconscious Triangulation – Do you see me Britain, I am not there and I am feeling good and doing good, jealous yet?)
In a Facebook post Tuesday, the Downtown Eastside Women’s Centre (DEWC) shared an image of staffers posing for a photograph with Meghan earlier that day. (Delusion of Possessing Empathy – exhibiting a believed emotional empathy (which does not exist as demonstrated by the various other manipulations detailed in previous articles) and instead is a demonstration of Cognitive Empathy, which some but not all, narcissists operate with.)
“High levels of violence, homelessness, addictions and poverty characterize the Downtown Eastside community. Women and children are particularly vulnerable to exploitation, injustice and injury,” the organisation said on its website.
“The DEWC is one of the busiest women’s centers in the country, operating a low-barrier drop-in center and emergency night shelter in the Downtown Eastside. By connecting members to a continuum of care and a community, we empower them towards positive change,” the site added.
Meghan’s brother-in-law and sister-in-law the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (aka Prince William and Kate Middleton) visited a nearby centre in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside area during their Canadian tour in 2016. (Mirroring and Triangulation – again remember this is done unconsciously.)
Accordingly, Miss Markle with her control (in her world) maintained over principally Prince Harry (who as her IPPS is the most important person to assert control over) and members of the Royal Family (because ultimately they backed down (for Harry´s sake) and thus allowed control to continue) feels all is well in her world. The Facade Management continues and it is also important to point out that whilst it is not done out of Emotional Empathy, her visit to the DEWC brings attention to the issues faced by that community and the Women’s Centre there which is a positive outcome. Doubtless the people working and attending the centre enjoyed the visit also, another positive outcome. As those of you know, there are many upsides to spending time with a narcissist HOWEVER for many, this comes with a considerable downside and one which it is never worth tolerating and accepting. Narcissists achieve much in the world, but there is always a cost to someone, somewhere.
To understand more about narcissism and how it may have impacted on you previously or is impacting on you now, utilise further materials provided through the links below
The Devastation of the Illusion
Why Won’t He Answer My Text Messages – Part One
Why Won’t He Answer My Text Messages – Part Two
The Final Battle : How To Stop Thinking About the Narcissist
The Addiction : How To Tackle Emotional Thinking
The Addiction to the Narcissist : Emotional Thinking
How The Intimate Relationship Functions With the Narcissist
Why Has The Narcissist Gone Back?
The Online Narcissist :Somatic
119 thoughts on “A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 11”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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We pity thee, poor Meghan
That so few understand
That you are a victim
Of that wicked Windsor clan.
Though your days are spent in toil,
Your heart is bold and big.
The press is all a’boil
As for gold, you dig.
We’re taking bets, you’ve no regrets
As croc tears fill your eye
As you weave your scheming web
To hang poor Harry out to dry.
Bravo!
Tris: did you read about the Stone Roses song on their exit video? She never saw a bridge she couldn’t burn.
There is a well written editorial in one of Canada’s respected newspapers stating how it’s not in the best interest of their country to allow members of the Royal family to reside in Canada just to escape from Royal duties. I wonder if the Canadian government will jump on board with the editorial piece and sing a little Back Street Boys, “bye, bye, bye,”
I grew up with narcissist, didn’t know it at the time, so gravitated to more narcissist as friends and partners, call me slow, but it took me years to wake up to them. Now I have no contact with any of them and if I get any indication that I’m interacting with one again, I have no more contact.
These type of personalities are so incredibly cunning and play on our most kind emotions and empathetic feelings.
With this situation with PH and MM, I sensed early on that she didn’t want to live here, so how was she going to get out? Press all PH’s hot buttons, i.e. his sensitivity about the press and his mother, subtly portraying herself as potentially being in the same danger, and following Princess Diana’s wish to leave and move to America. That would make sense to him. She played a blinder. Then the sympathy vote, for a racist England all against her and how that impacts her mental health.
I didn’t dislike her until I could sense her agenda. Thought she was lovely, happy for PH to find love now I feel sorry for him, he may never wake up to what is going on. I can’t even begin to describe what I encountered with the narcissists I was unfortunate enough to know, they absolutely destroy you while at the same time, convincing you that they love and care for you. Bully you, destroy your other relationships and resort to tears if all else fails and accuse you of being the problem.
I just wish the English press would give her what she claims she wants, no attention.
Now I’m waiting to see if she manipulates her father with the pending court case………
Hello and welcome Katie, it is not slow but rather the gradual understanding of what you have been dealing with. Well done for imposing no contact and your observations are accurate with regard to AVRN.
PSE: Good take on it. MM doesn’t remind me of anyone in my immediate family, but she’s a lot like my Bestest Frenemy in Jr high. I could have saved myself a lot of adolescent misery if I’d known about facade management.
Re: Meghan in Canada
Her presence here is not helping with the perception of some that Canada is a gateway for terrorists. Just a different kind.
Hi, I have been perusing your website because when I read that Prince Harry was now isolated from his friends, family, home and country, because of his wife, it was a huge ‘action’ red flag for me. My logic kicked in.
My question is about the devaluing period. I wondered what that would actually look like.
I was wondering how on earth do you devalue a prince?
Read the books Manipulated and The Devil´s Toolkit, they can all be applied to a Prince, he is a human being.
evilmuskhat: It may be theatre for the dumb down masses, as you say, but it surely is not all that it is. Some people see parallels to their own family and are watching to see how to figure it all out, by viewing a dynamic that they are more detached from. Some find it a good study of human nature. And other things are going on. I have found myself over my head, a few times in life, in scenarios that have impacted my life greatly. Some find it entertaining and a fantasy, that is not working out so well, and this makes them reconsider fantasies in general. I want to see, if I could find a solution, in this scenario, that more of the people could have a win. Like I did not have a win for myself.
I remember that my Mother used to like to watch soap operas, when I was a little girl, and it annoyed me. I could not understand it. I mentioned it to my Dad once, and he said to me that she liked to study the decorating of the interiors on the sets on the soap operas. He turned out to be right. lol. So, often, you never know what different people are obtaining from watching the exact very same thing, unless they tell you. And the same thing that some think is unimportant, because of the way that they personally see it, is still important for some other people, for various reasons, explained or understood by others, or not.
Tony: Nope. Wrong. Many are for guns, however many are against guns in the U.S. Good try, though. And funny. But, no prize.
I enjoy your informative analysis, and have learned much. Apologies if you’ve answered this before, but I’m really curious to know where you would rank Meghan’s skill set as a narcissist. After following her every move and statement since she joined the Royals, it seems to me that while she certainly has hustle and determination, and employs all the tactics you enumerate, she’s very amateurish in her deployment. I feel like if she were a more skillful narcissist, she’ll be better at hiding it, and would’ve been able to play a longer game. The pattern of her life has been being unable to sustain control over relationships, jobs or ideas for more than 2 years. Is this quite typical? She comes off as very childish and predictable. Her communication skills are terrible, and her acting is laughable in the extreme. She’s nowhere near your level of finesse and yet she’s gotten this far. On a scale of 1 to 10, where would you rate her? Thank you.
Hello Hikari, I am pleased you have enjoyed the material. Your observations are good ones. I do not rate narcissists on a scale of 1-10, but rather I classify them into schools in terms of Lesser. Mid Range and Greater with subdivisions of each school of narcissist.
Dearest WiserNow,
Great forethought on your scenario
It’s a bit like the James Bond movies moving forward with a new slant and introducing an African American female to take over from 007!
It’s like we all need to move with the times!
Our kids are constantly telling us nothing is as it was
Has Meghan defined the royals we know today ?
It may well be she has paved a new path
Comments on social media suggest favourable to Meghan and Harry
We are not living in an age we once knew it seems
Maybe it will all backfire on us
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Thank you Bubbles. I agree that the times are changing and the Royals need to keep up with the times, just like everyone else. The Royals have been in place for centuries, so they are particularly good at ‘keeping up’ while also making sure they retain a secure base.
It makes me think that Meghan doesn’t realise the true value and importance of tradition and what real control looks like.
Dear WiserNow,
She’s more into the Hollywood glam
She knew what she was getting into with the Royals .. she’s not stupid
Unfortunately, you can’t mix both … she never conformed from the beginning.
Luv Bubbles Xx 😘
I agree Bubbles. You can’t mix both. I don’t think Meghan’s style of B-grade celebrity glam mixes well with traditional Royal etiquette at all.
Does that mean that you feel nothing about people if you cannot use them?
It depends on their response to the attempt to use them.
WiserNow: The majority of readers on DM seem to be playing a game of hot potato. Americans say, “No backsies,” Canadians hope she’ll find the country too cold and unglamorous for more than a way station to H’wood. Meanwhile, the National Theatre (of which HM had made her a patron) was stunned by her casual manner on her last visit, when she knew she was going to bunk off.
And then there the people who could be affected by her desertion…. Not just actors: wardrobe, choreographers, light booth techies, set designers, sound cues, ushers, orchestra…& of course their families.
Some actress. You don’t let down a production once you’ve committed yourself to it, let alone an entire company. In the theatre world, no one would ever cast her again.
She’s committed to no one except herself.
Something that also comes to mind, following the Queen’s announcement, is how timing plays an important part in matters such as this ‘stepping back’ by Harry and Meghan, as well as Meghan’s impact on Harry and the royal family.
I think the Queen needs to show a more open and compassionate attitude in this day and age than she did in the past. This is due to the effects of Diana’s experiences with the royal family and the public’s reactions and sympathies, which were more in favour of Diana than the Queen. Diana made it more necessary for the royal family to have an increasingly modern, inclusive approach and to take greater notice of the public’s sentiments.
Likewise, now that Harry is at the same age as Diana was and is also popular with the public and is now seeking to reduce the intrusive effects of the media (as he sees it), the Queen needs to be seen to be taking his concerns seriously. As a result, her stance is a softened one at present, compared to how it probably would have been about 20 or 30 years ago.
Of course, this plays right into Meghan’s hands. She is reaping the benefits of the Queen’s softer approach and royal family’s openness. It appears that she has “won” in general. Plus, she has a valid reason to appeal to Harry’s concerns as well, due to his memories of his mother’s treatment by the media.
So, history, timing and fate have given Meghan a leg-up you could say. It’s not all down to her innate “charm and personality”. Personally, I don’t think there are ever any true “winners” or “losers”. It may appear that way in the moment, however, there’s more to everything than meets the eye.
PSE:
I bet they weren’t wearing any.
My rant is over and now that I’ve vented for a bit, I’m feeling more calm about Megs & Hazza 😊
HG,
Thank you once again for this latest article and the explanations of Meghan’s likely reactions regarding the latest developments. Your insights are very helpful in keeping ‘logic’ in mind.
I think the public is losing patience and respect for her, even though they may not be aware of narcissism or see the specific traits. Having awareness and knowing the traits, her facade is even more transparent. It makes me wonder how long it will be before she stops getting her way.
As this royal saga unfolds, it shows Meghan and Harry’s lack of foresight and planning and also their over-reliance on their own popularity, especially in Meghan’s case. Perhaps that is entitlement and grandiosity rather than over-reliance on their popularity – two of the major traits of narcissists.
There was a news report I saw yesterday in which Justin Trudeau and Canadian citizens were questioned about their feelings over the royals being in Canada. The news report showed Trudeau saying he was supportive of them living in Canada but there were still “lots of discussions” that needed to take place regarding security and other costs. Everyday citizens said they were also supportive of the royals living in their country (although how many people wish to be seen on the news being openly negative?).
This made me think, why should another country’s taxpayers foot the bill for H&M’s security and other costs? Didn’t they say they wanted to be “financially independent”? A normal “financially independent” couple living anywhere in the world is responsible for their own security and living costs. What else are they going to do with their inheritance and earnings now that they’ve “stepped back” from royal duties?
Meghan’s behaviour is typical of a narcissist though. She has no insight into how other people feel and apparently thinks that people will simply forget what she has said and done only a few days ago and believe whatever she says and does in the present moment. Narcissists operate with a lot of magical thinking, denial and no memory of their past actions.
The couple’s photos on their instagram showing a visit to a Grenfell community kitchen and now Meghan’s visit to a Canadian women’s centre are examples of facade management. She has no real empathy for the victims in these situations. They are photo opportunities and a way to prove that, hey, she does care and she does have value in her role as a royal. In reality, it’s all about her and how the causes relate to her. The multicultural emphasis (Grenfell) and the women’s empowerment (Canadian women’s centre) reflect on her own character traits. Traits that she can milk for public sympathy and pity. She is a black woman facing racism and she is a strong woman fighting for the *survival* of her family.
(Excuse me while I stop commenting for a second to do a massive eye roll and stop myself from throwing up!)
To me, both Harry and Meghan are behaving more and more like immature spoilt brats. Meghan, especially, is incredibly entitled and also two-faced. She says it’s not good enough to survive, but to thrive as well. Please. Her home in the UK just underwent a 2.4mill pound refurbishment and she now wants to jetset across two continents with a small baby. Now, after saying they want to be “financially independent”, the divvying up of their costs are being “discussed” as to which nation’s taxpayers will foot the bill.
Just like a narcissist, she doesn’t see that she’s biting the hand of those who feed her.
What does a narcissist feel about Meghan’s achievements? Envy, admiration or what else?
It depends on whether she is viewed black or white, whether she can be used to triangulate with someone who is painted black or white.
Great article, as always. I have a different question – how does sudden job loss affects narcissist’s relationship with IPPS? Lets say he is mid range, he loses job at time he was idolising IPPS. Does the fact he needs to look for another job and it can be not so easy to find as good job as he had affects their intimate relationship?
It depends on the school of narcissist but ultimately the loss of the job will never be the fault of the narcissist.
A Lesser Narcisisst is likely to adopt a “fuck them” attitude and come across as gung-ho and unaffected by the loss.
A Mid Range Narcisisst may use it to garner pity (LMR or MMR) with an UMR being more dismissive of it and claim they could do with a break from the grind.
A Greater Narcisisst is highly unlikely to be in this position.
Dear Mr Tudor,
Meghan has apparently mentioned she was having “anxiety attacks” behind royal closed doors … more like withdrawal systems ..haha
It was also mentioned it was her plan to leave all along and build an empire with Harry …..my my, how her plan is all coming to fruition !
Another splendid update, thank you
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
You are welcome.
Hi Twilight. How are you? Thankfully, HG has shaken the dust off his feet at Twitter. In record time. But, I shall never trust those people at Twitter ever again. They showed their underwear.
Hello PSE
I am fabulous, how are you?
Trust no one till they have shown that you can. Patterns show a persons or things core.
I don’t worry about HG, I was amused thou when I read he was placed in “jail”.
Dearest HG: Regarding this article: Yes. Correct. Absolutely. Indeed. So True. It sure is. I see. I understand. You nailed it. You were right. You are right. You saw it coming. In detail. Yes, Yes, Yes, and Yes. All the way.
Guns. U.S. citizens seem to be culturally sympathetic about guns.
🤣
One potential problem with doing this in the UK is that it invites direct comparison with Kate. Meghan does not want to be compared with Kate because she knows that this comparison will be unfavorable. If she has to play second, she will take her ball and go home (literally).
I still think the Queen’s unwillingness to have Meghan participate by phone is very revealing of her insight. She may not know what a narcissist is, but she is wise enough not to trust Meghan. She seems to be aware that Meghan may have someone loyal to her and her only listening to a conversation or recording it. It’s of course beneath the Queen to release a transcript or recording of a private family conversation, but Meghan might use such devices to blackmail the BRF. (Consider MM’s use of private correspondence against her own family.) The fact that the Queen or her advisers are wary enough to suspect this turn of events is very telling. If someone were truly a trusted family member, her word alone of not including others on her end would be enough. The Queen must at least see hints of MM’s ruthlessness.
Theatre for the dumbed down masses. Nothing more to add.
PSE, back in 2001 I travelled to the USA with my 3 year old shortly after 9/11. Everything took hours and hours and it was an epic journey as ypu can imagine. The queues were miles long and there was scarcely room to move or sit. From his pushchair, somehow my 3 year old swiped a stars and stripes flag from somewhere. During our 5 hour wait in Chicago, he marched up and down the rows of chairs in the departures lounge, saluting and waving his flag. Every single time he went past each row (for hours) the weary travellers clapped and cheered. I’ll never forget that experience.
Notme! Do you think a 3 year old could sense the odd sentiment in the air immediately after 9/11? They really have grown up in a different world. After 911, my birth certificate was lost in the govt, computer system, when I needed a replacement when I could not find it. What a nightmare! How could they lose that? It took 5 years before they somehow located it. I did not dare to leave the country. I think the flag story is interesting with your son. I ran into your post by accident by the way. I have to figure out how to get notifications, at some point, especially now that the site is becoming more and more popular and busy. We have to go easy on each other, when we do not receive a response. And just repeat later, if we want.
Cogra: I once asked one of HG Tudor`s reader, that is a citizen of Britain, a similar question, how something that we were discussing at the time, may be viewed by the British, regarding a certain matter. And she explained to me that in general the citizenry have a sort of cultural sentiment regarding the royal family. I live in the U.S. and I am trying to think of anything that most U.S. citizens have a cultural sentiment towards, and I can not think of anything to compare. I wish someone could tell me what is culturally sentimental to many U.S. citizens, in general, if they know of such a thing, as an example. But, In short, the British are impacted by all this, in general, over there, according to what I understand from her explanations to me.
“Nobody keeps HG in Twitter Jail.”
Cue “I Had the Time of My Life”….
I detest that song.
I’ll admit, it sounded pretty ’80s for a movie that was supposed to be taking place in the early ’60s.
Just watching the news about MMs légal case. Surely she’s placing herself in a worse position in terms of privacy if she is distancing from the senior royals. Surely it will be open season?
Also noticed she’s moved her finances to Delaware – where all the very wealthy move money to – apparently more private there?
Markle reminds me of Veruca Salt from “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.”
“But Harrrrrrrry, I want an Oompa Loompa Now!!!”, as he sips tea from the edible teacup and saucer that is laced with her poison all while white knuckling the psychodelic, chocolate, river boat coaster into the incinerator of “bad nuts.”
Absolutely.
A genius piece of literature.
HG
Roald Dahl sounds to have been a fascinating yet difficult man. One of your kind no doubt.
1. Was it the portrayal in his books of adults often being abusive but having the children triumph over them that resonated with you whilst you were reading young?
2. Who or what do you attribute as the inspiration for your initial love of writing?
Hello NA, good question.
1. Yes and the imagination he exhibited.
2. Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo..
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven?
Not quite although it could be interpreted that way, Violetta. In my case it is about if I cannot control heaven, I will move hell instead, namely create my own world.
HG: Isaac Bashevis Singer wrote a short story in which a nouveau riche guy takes over the life of a rich man who left town in disgrace: marries his ex-wife, runs his business, wears his clothes.
Then he deliberately makes bad investments so he, too, can leave town in disgrace.
Is Megs crazy enough to get in her own fatal car accident, so she can be idolized postmortem, like Diana? (Not to mention make everybody sorry they were so mean to her.)
Not only new faces but I can now see the gravitar images. For so long I saw nothing on my PC and now I am inundated with HG’s legs once again. 😀
Ow Bibi, still no gravitar images on my PC, also I don’t get to see the images used above each article, NS is a color free place to visit, only empty squares, sadly
(Happy about the legs though!! Those I don’t need!)
The cheek!
zwartbolleke
Try shutting down your computer. The gravatars all came back after I did that.
HG: I’m sure you’ve seen Piers’ latest on the Sussexes:
Given the way MM weaponizes sex, is there any possibility her resentment of her father goes beyond the fact that he’s tacky and embarrassing? Often thought the same of Madonna.
Are you insinuating that he has sexually abused her?
Excellent analysis as always HG!
Something that I have picked up on from the Queen’s statement relates to a very distinct separation from the Royal Family and The Markle family.
The Queen states, “Today my family had very constructive discussions on the future of my grandson and his family.”
She unequivocal differentiates her family from Markle family. This was one of Markle’s prime aims to gaining the fuel of controlling this outcome. I’m just wondering if the Queen’s statement might have caused a slight wound to Markle since she can’t have her cake and eat it too as a Royal member. Probably not, but just my personal observation if anyone else has a comment?
Yes and as stated in the article the inference is that remains “one of us”. That would not wound, but be Challenge Fuel, however, as the article states with regard to MM´s reaction she perceives she has won and therefore the Challenge has been addressed and the “rebellion” quashed.
NARCLANDER!
There can only be ONE.
HG – I think this format of analysing someone well known helps because I’m less emotionally involved hence more objective. I can the relate to my own wonder breed of local Narcs in my life.
Correct. Emotional Thinking will not impact as substantially.
I did wonder what was going on with the MM visit to women’s refuge and thought what was the problem with doing that in the UK. And who chose this visit and the timing? Not part of the royal calendar. She really is going for it. She will have to take a tumble at some point surely.
HG – Whats with the legal case and the daily Mail? How will that play out?
To be addressed.
I am actually getting irritated if I see someone defend her b/c when I heard about the phone call, all I could think was how disrespectful that was. She has no respect or regard for anyone.
Many are seeing it as Harry just wanting to put his wife and child first but are oblivious as to the manipulations behind it. They think, ‘Oh he doesn’t want her to end up like his mom!’ Puleeze.
Indeed.
Yes, that is the repeated comment from certain quarters. From Harry´s perspective, he (understandably) fears a similar outcome however he is unable to see the manipulations. Furthermore, I explain to people look at the AVRN form the beginning and the analysis before she met Harry, there lies confirmation as to what she is and therefore you look at what is happening now through the prism of the narcissism. What happens now is not the basis for the analysis, it is confirmation of the existing analysis. Of course, MRNs will always utilise Plausible Deniability, Use of the Victim´s Weaknesses and Facade Management and the whole Anti-Media Card is part of those manipulations. A Very Convenient Excuse.
Bibi my sister for one sees it this way. I just go quiet and think time will tell.
And HG makes a great point that the narc analysis happened way before all of these events. It’s not new information.
HG – brilliant! I’m loving how the story is unfolding. Your analysis is riveting. It also helps me improve my grasp my own situation and knowledge of NArcs. Please don’t stop!
Thank you Em. There is more to come.
What should the queen have done so that she did not feed Meghan’s sense of control? Is there anything she can do to mitigate the damage to Harry? It’s heartbreaking.
Ignore her but that was never going to happen. She is mitigating it to some extent by not fighting against the control and letting him depart. It is evident that members of the Royal Family fear for Prince Harry but realise that all they can do is let him do what he (thinks) he wants to do and be there for him in due course.
I like this inner monologue type of additional commentary, it aides a lot in internalizing the narcissists point of view.
Glad you like this, Desiree.
Queen Meghan….made my skin crawl. Great explanation HG!
Thank you Kim.
Thank you for highlighting the ‘unconscious’ and ‘conscious’ responses. It is important to understand that there are substantial ‘unconscious’ motivations to the narcissist’s behaviour.
However never let emotional thinking take over and give these people a *pass* because of this. If you are being abused by someone – get out stay out and go no contact.
ps HG your work has changed my life, thank you
Well stated EWO and you are welcome.
Excellent as usual. Shared on a narcissist page.
Thank you
I’m following, but less interest in the Royal Narcs than your usual educational material.
How is this affecting the UK, btw? What do the citizens think of all of this?
HG, again your blog must be overrun with new and current readers, as another commented the little stars just keep loading without much success in the actual load! I wanted to ‘like’ your article, and agree with others who are no doubt commenting that it is again, a brilliant assessment of what happened after Sandringham. Learning from your work must be sticking, as I too thought Meghan’s inability to participate via phone would be seen as a challenge and I had to laugh when immediately following she made her photo op and as the press stated, or was that bleated, ‘without Archie’. Just as you said, her way of sticking 2 fingers up to the Queen, and all those who dare to spotlight how she might have felt after being left out of the meeting.
And tellingly, without Harry’s son, I think a special devaluation. “See, I’m important, more important than you; people flock to see me, without you…and I bet you wonder where your little boy is, don’t you? Why don’t you call and ask. I’ll ‘reassure’ you (threaten you with your lack of control by the baby’s absence so you better tow whichever line I toss you).”
Fantastic article, HG and I do hope lots of possible victims are contacting you for help because reading about this very public emotional abuse makes them take a hard new look at what is going on in their own lives.
There has been an increase in new people at the blog to comment, emailing me and a substantial spike in traffic generally.
HG
Huzzah re: spike in traffic, new people, comments and emails. It’s good to see all the “new faces” posting from my end. It makes me feel hopeful.
Balls to hopeful K!
HG
Hahahaha…after reading about your Twitter suspension, I was concerned; even you get pushback! However, It’s imperative to work around it and push forward.
Have you not seen? The suspension has been lifted. Nobody keeps HG in Twitter Jail.
Yay
HG
No, I have not. Thank God! I am catching up today.
HG in twitter jail for speaking truth that is funny as hell.
HG, thank you for your continued narrative and profound analysis on this abdication process of Harry and Meghan. It occurred to me yesterday when I saw that Meghan had left Vancouver Island and Archie to visit this women’s shelter, that with her “philanthrophic” work she has an ever-ready supply of fuel from people that “need” her, to whom she can always appear to be beneficent but in reality are there as subjects for her use.
You are welcome
Very good article again hg…as usual!
Thank you CJ
HG, thank you for the comments on Her Majesty’s statement, I was looking forward to you analyzing this. Do you think royal commentators are correct when they point out the Queen’s choice of words “Harry & Meghan” as opposed to “TRH Duke & Duchess of Sussex” is hinting at them losing the titles?
As for the women’s shelter visit, I see it at yet another tone-deaf “in your face” banana of empowerment. “Hm, I have half an hour between my morning dump and bikini wax, shall I empower some female losers meanwhile? Sure, I’ll put on my couture, command a private jet and tons of bodyguards and fly boost the morale of some unhappy little females by reminding them that I’m so much better than they are, because I married a prince and they did not and I’m a celebrity and they are not.”
Where’s Archie, Meghan? Didn’t you fly to Canada to take care of your son? Remember him?
😂 very good.
Indeed Dolores. As we discussed the other day.. I’d have lost my mind with a baby that age & far away for no absolutely necessary reason.
Dolores Haze:
“boost the morale of some unhappy little females by reminding them that I’m so much better than they are, because I married a prince and they did not and I’m a celebrity and they are not.”
Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I,
And let’s face it, who isn’t less fortunate than I?