Questioning Me
Do feel free to ask me anything you like. I am here for you to dip into my mind and for you to benefit from learning how I view the world. No question is off limits and if you want to establish a dialogue with me, then so much the better. You will be helping me so I can show the treatment team that I am interacting with people in this setting. You can ask me why I do certain things, what am I thinking, what my favourite food is, whatever you like. This is your chance to extract as much knowledge and information from me as you possibly can. If you want to just make a statement, go ahead. Fill your boots. I don’t know you so I won’t fly into a rage (this does happen when people I know question me but that is because they have an agenda – you don’t because we don’t know one another). I look forward to hearing from you.
13,011 thoughts on “Questioning Me”
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HG, Congratulations on 30,025,171 hits. I’m so grateful to have found this site and your work. Long may it continue!
Thank you CSW.
HG: There is a show on Netflix called Silent No More and it has five stars and it showcases a group of women affected by childhood trauma ranging from sexual and mental and physical abuse. Most are poor some lower middle class Americans. All stripped of self esteem at a young age, age 8 or younger. Some has intervenors like a grandmother who took over a parent, or my favorite was the brother who provided comfort for the child fat shamed… told constantly she was a disgrace, ridiculed and her father told her not to call her father as ashamed.. yet some repeat the abuse. Cycle of abuse. Their father left, they meet men who leave. Etc.. it’s amazing how abuse goes one generation to the next but by the time the women are adults what hope is there to change them. What’s sad is to see the cycle without end. The victims of narcissism tend to be an abuser or victim of an abuser.
1. Any ideas to stop the cycle when under 9?
2. Anything we can do to intervene I Suspect my neighbor who’s has two boys age 3 and 6. She has been in and out of rehab since she moved here, her children have problems at school. Her ex husband is unemployed: Grandma fo mompays the rent. And I see signs. The older brother age 8 sucks his thumb nonstop and is cruel to his younger brother. He regularly inflicts pain and belittles him. If in front of me, I stop him. They steal food from my house but I don’t say anything because maybe they are hungry. The mother is never there always inside the house often sleeping. I don’t have enough for CPS. I try to give the boys attention, validation and food 3. … but what more can I do?
Finally it seems your victims of narcissism abuse are adults, do you cover protection on under 9?
Is that within your scope prevention?
4. Do you not see the need? I mean those who were raised in abuse, it’s the air they breathe. They see nothing wrong with it as they know nothing else. To identify it is one thing, to call it wrong for humanity is another. . Do you think stopping narcissistic abuse on a child under 9 is right?
5. Or do you see abuse of a child to create a narcissistic correct as there is nothing wrong with abusing a child as it makes society better? Almost a spare the rod mentality but it would have to encompass all forms of trauma?
Hello
I received a malign follow up hoover from a MMR B.
We work together and i can’t escape in this period… I can’t implement Total no contact.
From June I can.
I’m using continuosly your material to keep down the ET.
I want to ignore her (silence treatment).
What do u think?
I recommend you go to the Knowledge Vault (see menu) and obtain How to Handle a Narcissist At Work.
I must say, Trump and Vance V Zelensky is a collision a tudorite’s dreams are made of!!!!
Did you watch Zelenskys’ “I told Trump, Putin afraid of him and he heard me, and now Putin knows.” https://www.youtube.com/shorts/K4JY3eBIQuI
Please look at this short clip where Zelensky is hilarious, in my opinion. It reminds me of Ryan Reynold’s SNL50 moment of “Why? What have you heard?”. Where an actually serious matter is dragged into a comedic arena.
As you may be aware of before Zelensky’s political excursion he was one of the most popular and beloved comedians of Russia and Ukraine and he is witty and excellent in those both languages! My belly would hurt from laughter at times from many of his unrivaled parodies and sketches…
However, to his school of narcissism vis-a-vis Trump and Vance V Zelensky.
1. Zelensky went into the lion’s den exposing himself publicly to a powerplay without his greatest weapon — his mastery of wielding power through words in which he is a master when it comes to his native languages, in my opinion. This would be evident of his grandiosity and that he never bothered to learn proper English for the debate purposes and didn’t upgrade his weapon arsenal because he is just awesome by design and that’s enough in his vision i.e. for his version of narcissism. Him being an actor (first and foremost) who only periodically adopts a role but doesn’t emerge into a role for a lifetime — comes along with the acting profession of having to switch roles all the time. It doesn’t require him to become a hard core debater in a language which is relatively easy to learn and adopt.
Now compare Putin (a Greater) who has just one major role as a leader for a lifetime. Putin for instance mastered the German language and also understands English perfectly well so that he sometimes would correct a translator saying “You didn’t translate correctly, I said this (…) and not this (…), translate it again accurately, please.”. Putin’s need for control and his role requires mastery in this arena.
2. Zelensky showed up to the White House knowing about Trump’s agenda and Trump’s rather favorable stance towards Putin which Trump demonstrated in the past, yet Zelensky agreed (if there was a choice given to him?) to the public display. Is it because Zelensky desires publicity and fame more than anything else and he doesn’t think very strategically? Thinking he could take on two beast’s on their own ground armed up to their neck and convince them to bow to his will without him even speaking proper English, which would have been useful in order to strike back where it would have been necessary.
Where there is no script beforehand, Zelensky is challenged in how to strike back in the more sophisticated ways he usually has the advantage within his own territory (native language expertise).
So he ended up being berated like a child: Where is your suit, boy? Say “thank you”, boy! Say it now, boy!
I almost felt sorry for him but I found the whole thing too amusing and Zelensky’s dealing with all the threats to control were sort of funny, where he just talked over them butchering the language. In my view he goes along with frustration and humour where he adopts the position of going along with the sketch so to speak and making it a stage spectacle moment. I have an impression he is prone to do that by being a comedian at heart and for the majority of his career, and his facade slips to “Let’s make it into something which will make the headlines, let’s stand out in this rather sketchy way then.”
It was as if I was watching a rehearsal of one of his sketches where he improvised a lazy resistance. Where I’ve seen similar sketches he played on stage, him laughing inside knowing how funny he came across. The faces he would make on stage and so on and in this collision. And here as if he would forget that it’s not a stage but circumstances where other people’s lives depend on his decisions.
My view of him may be tainted because of having watched him perform many times before. To tell apart where he is serious (believing it) or playing (and knowing it!) is a bit of a challenge.
Either he is an aware one, or partly aware or not at all. I wanted to put him in the Upper Mid-Range Elite category, but there were instances where he showed up drunk to press conferences and I don’t know if it would align with an Upper Mid-Ranges’ facade management?
His facade prior to becoming a President was that of a King’s fool, a joker, a Chief of Fun. Similar to Ryan Reynolds chippy chappy persona but way more sophisticated which earned Zelensky a popular comedian/actor status who then could easily jump into a president’s chair and now is almost bored of it, so he doesn’t really put that much effort to the facade anymore by switching back to comedy and winning people’s favor (establishing control over them) through an already established status he achieved prior, getting people under control by making them laugh…
I don’t know how he comes across to other people as a President because I always see an actor who plays a President so it’s difficult for me to judge how good the playing of this role and facade as a President actually is.
What are your guys’ observations on what type of school and cadre he might be, if you’ve followed his political displays and want to share? I understand that a huge chunk of your impression of him may be missing whereas you were exposed to him as a President only and not as an actor, comedian and celebrity, nevertheless it would be interesting where you’d put him.
Hello
No, Zelenskiy has never been “most popular and beloved comedian” in Russia. Before 2014, not many knew him, after 2014, Russians haven’t forgiven him Maidan, killed children from bombing in Donbas (Alley of Angels memorial) and 100 burned alive pro-Russians in Odessa in May 2014. And most Ukrainians who were born before 2000 know Russian language, there is nothing surprising here. They are similar, I can understand Ukranian (my grandmother is from Ukraine), but I can’t speak.
Hello nata43tm, well it’s debatable and I say he was for a certain period of time. Beginning from his career at KVN he played in the liga of the most beloved popular show (KVN) which was made in Russia ever since and he rose to fame through the Ukrainian and Russian (Channel One Russia) primetime television networks. Based on the exposure of the popularity of the shows he was in and the primetime value – it would have been difficult to have missed him and not know who he was, unless people skipped the obvious. I mean, check his television appearances from 2011-2014 in Russian television projects. The shows he was in – it’s the maximum exposure one could have, him being a host of those shows or sitting in the jury aside other television stuff and also doing a film per year, screenwriting and producing…
After 2014… I agree with what you’ve written.
For me he is a showman and not a politician… not made to rule but made to fool… And the more I think about it, I’d put him in the unaware category of narcissists. Either upper or lower Mid-Range Elite.
Good time of day, Jordyguin 😊
Maybe you are right, at that time, you mentioned, I lived in US. But what I can say that, most people of my generation or probably better rephrase, people of my circle, rarely watch Channel One Russia or KVN. Especially nowdays. If I accidently turn it on and observe for a few minutes, my reaction: “Oh, that’s how it was during USSR, I see”. Many, including me, used to like Comedy Club at TNT (which is dead pretty much rn), thou most of original comedians there started their career at KVN. I would say Ivan Urgant was quite famous comedian and loved. I really liked his sense of humor and witty mind. He was the only one who had a successful live late talk show (similar to David Letterman’s one). But after certain event in Feb 2022, he expressed his opinion about that, and his show was immediately closed and he wasn’t given any opportunity to host any ceremonies etc. He was removed. Idk, where he is now, probably migrated like many, including my colleagues and friends.
Anyway, maybe Zelenskiy is a good comedian, but he is not a good person. On type of narcissist, I agree with you, probably Upper mid range.
Hi Jordyguin! Hope you are well! Hugs! I was embarrassed for the USA and well saddened… all those innocent lives gone, children, women, servicemen and it’s about “ you didn’t thank me enough.” Personally I cheer when our country helps another but at the same time have you seen skid row in LA? We have problems at home. And it’s never really about help but political and economic interests in the billionaires playground.
With that being said it’s long rumored Putin has something on Trump. Trump took loans from Russia, he had a failed Vodka business with Russia. He chummied up to Russians at the Miss Universe. One rumor is they filmed him in a hotel with prostitutes doing a yellow parachute but I think it’s something much more. I don’t buy the bromance and I don’t see the economic deals. If anything Russia is chummy with China and an India. Putin wants to be on top of the GNP,l.
Any thoughts on my theory that Putin has something on Trump, Putin is a thug after all. and what about Musk, he donated 270 million to the Trump campaign. Sure he wants unregulated ability to colony-ate the moon… but hmmmm. Musk was known to be a hated boss. No wonder he is firing everyone. I see recession…
Hi Contagious! I’m well, thank you! Hugs back to you! How are you? How is the No Contact Regime going? Do you feel better or is he still in your head? Or is it definitely over and you’re finally free now?
Love, USA is a great country with great people and those with active brain cells will not blame a country for whatever you felt there was an embarrassment to take. Politics are probably more difficult than ever? …I hope every country in our world will be able to solve their differences and difficulties without wars. I’m optimistic for the future no matter how long it would take.
Hi Jordyguin:
Divorce still on track. I am taking a break from dating … for now:) I feel the same as I always have. I have love for him, feel bad for his mental issues and can’t live with him. Friendship would be nice but I don’t expect it. I see a future with someone else someday. I have dragons to slay, very busy with work. How are you? I hope FAB! X
Slay those dragons, beautiful! Swords up! If anyone can do it then it’s you!
Yes, FAB and BAF! The fox took out my favorite hen, I want to die but kill the fox first. However, I remind myself of Roald Dahl’s Fantastic Mr Fox and forgive that bastard. After all, he picked the best one. Gotta acknowledge foxes wiring in that regard.
My criticism of those high up in the military recently has to do with Obama and Biden era policies which infused DEI, inclusiveness, and gender ideology into the selection, training, and promotion of personnel. This came from the top, from men who abrogated the primary responsibilities of the military for the window dressing and virtue signaling that is part and parcel of leftist indoctrination. I consider them low in the qualities essential to manhood. It’s leftist woke narcissism that makes me bristle.
You had a lot on economics in your note, and that’s not my area. But regarding the matter of “income inequality”: are you proposing an equality of opportunity to earn income or equality of outcome? I don’t mind the existence of billionaires at all; I think in a free society people should be able to earn as much money as they wish within the social rules and standards. The alternative to income inequality would be coerced income equality, and I see no world in which that would be desirable, at least not a world that supports modern, complex, productive, free societies.
I think the problem, as with my military criticism, is this narcissistic virtue signaling coming primarily from the left. I’ve heard of the “Black Dollar” you mentioned. There’s a pathetic boycott of Target going on by the usual narcissistic race hustling class. Black people are only around 13% of the US population, with Black women accounting for about $12m dollars daily in Target sales. I understand that’s merely 4% of Target’s daily receipts at most, but they think they’re really sticking it to “The Man” by boycotting. But this only emphasizes that the “Black Dollar” (which I take as the ecosystem of Black consumers and Black companies) is a small, small percentage of overall activity. They’ve ended up proving to observers that the products that brought them in (items by Black-owned companies) weren’t giving enough profit for Target which, after all, bet that DEI would bring in gobs of money. So, many of the contracts are ending with shelf space going to producers with wider appeal.
As with many of the things in your list, I think this is another example of rent seeking behaviors by people so blinded by their own righteous indignation and sense of entitlement that they don’t see or don’t care about the ultimate results of their actions. Again, I perceive a lack of cojones, bollocks, balls, agates, jewels, and h/juevos in extreme leftism generally, both figuaratively and literally.
Allison:
You have to understand demonetization to understand my criticism of the harm of income inequality. And are you ok with a few people owning 80% of corporate wealth? Creating the costs for everything we pay? Or owning 60% of the land? I would be against you in the French or American revolution. Communism failed but nice idea. Royal failure. But when capitalism leads to gross corruption and we pay the feudal lords. We pay taxes, they DONT. We aren’t starving anymore. Obese even with processed food and corn syrup in everything… if we the masses were starving, this ratio would end. Instead, people aren’t being replaced as too expensive, the planet is at risk and we are SOME WHAT powerless… for now. The oppressed as my son would say “ fu$k@“$ed generation” will create new leaders as the pendulum swings and the oppressed rise sadly to swing again … but my hope is in the future generation. HG laughs but I believe… let’s teach the children well…” My father was a folk singer. lol
Allison: I agree with you IF you are talking about the heads of the military or machine not the rest. There’s plenty of historical evidence of creation of wars to boast military contracts , cronyism, as well as government waste. Hmmm no cuts there. But then again, recruitment way down. Scary down. China and North Korea just make them serve. We don’t.
I really enjoyed watching the fireworks of T & V as against Z. I was salivating awaiting HG’s take and I learned a lot from our glorious narrator. My break starts next week so I’ll have some time to view HG’s material on all four of the relevant actors again and really digest it.
I’ve actually been very pleasantly surprised by 47. Some time ago I heard HG (I think it was in an interview) remark that the prosecutions against Trump were a mistake. I really didn’t want to believe HG at the time because I was caught up in seeking the truth, punishing wrongdoing, etc. But, of course HG was right, particularly when we consider that one of the goals of prosecution was to keep him from office.
It’s weird because I’m feeling a bit more neutral about narcissism as a feature. Of course I would never want to be on Trump’s radar, but I must admit that when I can find alignment with the goals of a narcissist, and the person is powerful but doesn’t know me from Eve, it’s pretty sweet. It’s very interesting to watch him work. It’s interesting to me now that I don’t just see him as crazy. His narcissism, whatever may happen, has driven actual benefits for me as a citizen, which I find fascinating. I can’t deny he’s good at this stuff.
HG, I understand from your work that narcissists use the death of others to obtain the Prime Aims. I’ve noticed that Trump expresses an apparent horror of the deaths of soldiers and others particularly in the Russia/Ukraine conflict. But you’ve taught me he doesn’t use a facade, so I’m wondering:
1) Are Trump’s expressions of horror about the deaths in the conflict an expression of disgust or fury about the losses, or are they just a manipulation tactic devoid of any feeling, including rage? He seems to actually hate the idea of death.
2) Why is peace seemingly so important to him? Is his long-standing talk of it related to residual benefits (i.e. the Nobel Peace Prize) or his need for control? Or does he talk about it because words are inexpensive?
3) Why do you think he’s hung a portrait of his framed mug shot just outside the Oval? How does that serve the Prime Aims?
1. They are a manipulation.
2. a. Receipt of fuel arising from praise that he brokered peace
b. Triangulation – he does not start wars, he ends them, unlike certain of his predecessors
c. Assertion of control – various parties from Putin to the populace
d. Residual benefits – advantages for the US from ending financial support and carving up the spoils
Thank you. Your response was very helpful.
You are welcome.
I would really be interested to find out what actual benefits you have received as a citizen. Is it the loss of your civil liberties, the end of the rule of law, the major recession/depression, inflation, the crashing stock market, job losses, the uncontrolled handing over control of your Social Security data and configuration to Elon Musk, the end of press freedom, deportation of legal residents, fewer deportations of illegal migrants than under Obama, international isolation, the Nazi ideology being implemented or anything else?
I’ve lost no civil liberties.
We still live under the rule of law.
The current US annual inflation rate is 2.8%.
The economy goes through periods of expansion and contraction.
Many people lose jobs every day.
I don’t know the names of anyone else in the government who has my SSN, but they’ve had it for decades. Plus, Musk co-founded PayPal. He had my personal data then. As does Amazon now.
Do you mean the press freedom that ignored and lied about Biden’s mental decline? Or the press freedom that called the BLM riots “mostly peaceful”? Or the press freedom that continuously violated the equal-time rule?
By “legal residents” do you refer to Green Card holders who actively promote destruction of the West, praise terrorists, and foment violence on college campuses? They can kick rocks.
Funny about the Obama deportation numbers–Democrats were cool with it when he deported illegals. Strange.
There’s isolation and there’s protection of American interests. Every nation should be protective of its own interests and of fairness.
Though you claim the end of the rule of law, it’s good to see you’re following Godwin’s.
I benefit from the removal of criminals from my neighborhood. I benefit from knowing what my taxes actually support. I benefit from the dismantling of Black Lives Matter Plaza. I benefit from having spending codes added to a labyrinthine system that has never been fully audited. I benefit from not being naked in the women’s shower at my school gym and hearing a strange man’s baritone just outside the curtain and having to pretend I’m okay with it. I benefit from not having low grade race grifters run my life, Low T men run the military, and low IQ women drown me in suicidal empathy. I benefit from the toppling of DEI because I’m not a lazy, do-nothing idiot without merit. I benefit from seeing four astronauts brought back to earth safely today because they weren’t left to rot in orbit because someone thought it politically expedient.
And I love English.
But most of all I benefit from dodging that cackling, day-drinking, Didn’t Earn It, non-democratically chosen, word salad spouting, couldn’t rub two neurons together, anti-American tragedy of a woman. And Tampon Tim.
Trump is what he is. He’s a narcissist; but he’s a bad man doing a good job with a shitty hand in a shittier world. And not only are he and his team making lots of us unashamed of being American through their efficient performance, I think more people are encouraged to be proud of the West in general. To push back against the tide that would wipe away our magnificent heritage. We need that. Civilization needs that.
They threw the entire legal system at this guy, tried to bankrupt him, impeached him twice, called him Hitler, hit him in the face with a boom mike, arrested him, and tried to assassinate him–twice. Looks like somebody doesn’t want him to succeed. And he is a narcissist. Politics attracts them. But he’s not an autopen.
The hair–it’s astonishingly insane. But I don’t need perfection. I don’t even need nice. I don’t need a hero. Whatever happens, I have the benefit of having the veil lifted for all to see on this liberal elite hegemony where people are excoriated until they repent for the “sins” of their ancestors and are expected to grovel for what people long dead did to other people long dead–as a cash grab. If I get nothing else, it’s enough.
This is for Allison, since there’s no reply button on her comment.
Thank you for that Allison, that is the best comment I’ve read on any blog in a very very long time! I agree entirely!
Hi Allison,
Trump’s expression of horror is a question I had also. If he doesn’t have a facade, then why is he expressing horror? One thing I noticed about Trump was that when he’s expressing this horror, there’s no inflection in his voice. When people are truly filled with horror or dismay, you can hear it in their voice. There’s none of that at all with Trump. He’s just saying it as a matter of fact.
Its good to see you, Allison. I hope you don’t mind me adding my two cents.
Add away, Leigh! Buy me a coffee.
I would say this… Allison: I don’t appreciate the crack at the military. Without them you would be Chinas bitch. Without a military you would be without a right or any “glorious “ liberty. My son was disabled in Iraq after being bombed. My father fought in Vietnam where he lost all of his classmates. My cousin was high up in the Persian gulf wars were servicemen took a pill to prevent building bio warfare and ended up with deformed kids. You can knock those who create war or criticize those who make the decision to go to war but don’t knock the boots on the ground who serve you. My son once asked, I don’t do enough. I said baby they know you are here, ready to go and trained for war, without you, we would be lost. And don’t worry Allison, the numbers are down. We may lose our boots on the ground advantage and technology is not advanced enough yet to replace them. China is getting stronger by the day per my son in A year at Darwin. The Philippines etc… the government educated who to watch and Taiwans semiconductors may be the real WWIII. As to Trump or Biden, they are the same to me. Musk gave 270 million to get his unregulated space travel or position in the government. Google gave 91 million to Trump plus he made him 3 billion. I could list the others. Biden and the democrats actually have just as much billionaires if not more. Biden was backed by credit card companies who commit usury in my opinion, charging high interest to people unregulated that used to be illegal. Then there is Hunter and the consultant positions he got unqualified. These credit card companies hamstring Americans. But don’t kid yourself, it’s a billionaires playground worldwide. And the money they hoard demand notices are system.
The income gap, or income inequality, can lead to several significant harms, including:
1. *Social Stratification: Increased divisions between social classes can create a polarized society, affecting social cohesion and trust.
2. **Limited Access to Opportunities**: Those on the lower end of the income spectrum may struggle to access quality education, healthcare, and job opportunities, perpetuating poverty.
3. **Economic Instability**: A wider income gap can result in reduced spending power for the majority, leading to lower demand for goods and services, affecting overall economic growth.
4. **Political Influence**: Wealth concentration can lead to disproportionate political influence for the rich, undermining democracy and public policies that benefit the broader population.
5. **Increased Crime Rates**: Inequality can contribute to social unrest and higher crime rates, as marginalized individuals may resort to illegal activities out of desperation.
6. **Health Disparities**: Income inequality can result in significant differences in health outcomes, with lower-income individuals often facing worse health conditions and limited access to care.
7. **Decreased Social Mobility**: A larger income gap can hinder upward mobility for future generations, creating a cycle of poverty that is difficult to break.
8. **Mental Health Issues**: Inequality can lead to feelings of helplessness and low self-esteem among those in lower income brackets, contributing to mental health problems.
Overall, income inequality poses challenges that can hinder social progress and economic growth, affecting the well-being of individuals and society as a whole.
Demonetization is the process of stripping a currency unit of its status as legal tender. Here are its key effects:
1. **Reduction of Black Money**: It aims to limit the cash economy by targeting unaccounted wealth and black money, as people must deposit or exchange demonetized currency.
2. **Inflation Control**: Removing high-denomination currency can help curb inflation by reducing the amount of money in circulation.
3. **Encouragement of Digital Transactions**: Demonetization promotes the use of digital payment methods, which can enhance transparency in transactions.
4. **Economic Disruption**: Sudden demonetization can cause short-term economic disruption, affecting businesses, particularly those reliant on cash transactions.
5. **Impact on Informal Sector**: Many small businesses and daily wage workers, who deal largely in cash, may struggle during the transition.
6. **Government Revenues**: By curtailing black money, governments might increase tax revenues as more transactions move into the formal economy.
7. **Public Sentiment**: It can lead to public dissatisfaction if the process is poorly managed or if the benefits are not there.
Anyway, you may not or any here agree with me. I see no true democracy on either side. Pick your poison is what I see. It’s the truth throughout time. People were starved. So they overthrew oppression. Ex. French Revolution. Tyrants overextended themselves. Ie Rome. Nothing has changed except the internet makes us more aware. Can we stop it? Possibly. History shows the pendulum swinging back and forth. There’s enough food, many people are obese. Food was made cheap BUT our children are not having kids worldwide. This is due mostly to economics. Our climate is a mess. If our major cities go to ocean rising, well… the top 10% own 70% of land in America and 80% of corporations. Everything we buy goes to them. And it’s growing and growing and growing against the middle class that used to be the hallmark of the USA. Doesn’t matter which party but Republicans do tend to give better deals to the rich.
There is no democracy. And I believe our lives at at risk. But the pendulum swings, the oppressed generation once the old guard is dead may save us. I have hope.
Plus I am suing 4 47 billion and above companies that are really black rock. I am doing my part.
Contagious says, “I see no true democracy on either side. Pick your poison is what I see.” – I couldn’t agree more! Its become a matter of picking the lesser of two evils. Our country is severely fractured. It scares the shit out of me because I don’t think either side can fix it even though they both claim they can.
Hi Leigh, this is to you regarding your March 20 comment. I agree, neither party had been able to fix things. And it is scary. One thing that i keep thinking is the definition of insanity, doing the same things repeatedly while hoping for a different outcome. We’ve had the status to on our country for decades, which is how it’s gotten so bad to begin with. Trump is doing some different things. I don’t have any idea what the outcome will be from those things, but I believe a change was needed and he is bringing that. So I’m in a wait and see mode right now. And a little hopeful for some good to come out of the changes? I think we may have to go through a little pain collectively in order to see the changes being beneficial but that’s a typical thing with any change. And should be short lived if he continues on the same trajectory he seems to be on now. That’s always the question though, will anyone change course at any point? And much less clear if the person is a narcissist. ***AV chewing her nails in anticipation…***
Hi AV! Its nice to see you and I hope you’re well!
I think you hit the nail on the head! We definitely needed a change. I think the way Trump is going about it is just a bit too chaotic for me. One thing that caught my eye this morning was a comment from Mark Cuban. The country needs a plan but Ready, Aim, Fire isn’t a plan. That sums up exactly how I feel. Please see my comment to Allison as well. It addresses some specific questions I have about Trump.
I’m still hopeful though. My teeth are chattering in anticipation, lol! 😬😬😬
To CSW, I also wondered what the crack at the military was. Having had many family members in the military for generations, I did not pick up on the low T comment as a crack. I took it as lately, that’s who’s been running things and I’m glad for a change with some men, and women, who have the balls to do it. That said, I don’t believe in any world that Contagious is a narc and thus would not have any heated fury.
Thank you, Allison, your answer was very interesting to me.
HG and everyone, please forgive me for writing such a lengthy and convoluted post. In order to address every point you made I would have to go on for many pages more, so these are just a few points.
Here is the situation as it presents itself to me from across the pond:
The Trump administration deported Venezuelan gang members (criminals, most likely, but they have rights too) to El Salvador (!) in clear violation of their due process rights, with no court hearing, no evidential process to show that they were even legally detained, never mind deported, and in plain violation of a direct court order not to deport them.
Chief Justice John Roberts (appointed by Bush and not exactly known as a Dem operative) just issued an extraordinary statement after Trump called for the impeachment of a judge whose decision he did not like. Roberts felt compelled to publicly rebuke a sitting president, something no previous Chief Justice ever needed to do, by stating: “For more than two centuries, it has been established that impeachment is not an appropriate response to disagreement concerning a judicial decision. The normal appellate review process exists for that purpose.”
Your own Chief Justice obviously feels that the rule of law is very much under threat, and your president ignores court orders and engages in repeated behaviours that are plainly illegal for anyone to see, such as
– illegally taking public funds that had been lawfully appropriated by Congress, the sole controller of the purse, from programs he does not like, such as cancer research,
– installing an entity, DOGE, that has no legal basis to even exist (because Congress has to establish and fund any such entity) or have any access to government data, buildings and workers, and giving these people access not only to your Social Security numbers, but also to the systems which control the payments, so that Mr Musk’s people could decide and make it happen at any time that Grandma Smith will now get $10 instead of $200. Maybe Grandma Smith happened to write something on X the day before? Honi soit, qui mal y pense. (By the way, a French MP is now demanding you return the Statue of Liberty, because Americans “have chosen to side with the tyrants”.)
Trump is a convicted felon and adjudicated rapist, known to have instigated an insurrection against the US constitution, who is disqualified from public office by law, yet allowed to get into office – the felony conviction alone would be enough in any other country, but for some reason, US laws apparently endorse criminals for public office – all of this clearly says that your laws are no longer worth the paper they were written on. Not a day goes by where a judge does not rule that the latest Trump policy is illegal. Does that stop anyone from implementing it? No. If that is not lawlessness, I would like to see what is.
The US has just been added to the Civicus Monitor watchlist, a human rights watchlist, for its rapid decline in civic freedoms. It is now rated the same as Pakistan, Congo and Serbia.
If you feel that you have not yet been personally impacted by this, it is simply down to luck, not evidence of it not happening. But since you’re a woman, you have already been deprived of your freedom and your very right to life: Should you fall pregnant in the wrong state, you are now a slave to that fetus, no matter whether the fetus is viable or not. Your life is worth nothing, you will be sacrificed to the fetus, no matter if there is any chance of a live birth. Surely I do not have to tell you that several pregnant women, all of whom wanted children very much, have died due to the overturning of Roe v Wade, some of them bleeding out in parking lots in front of the hospital, when they would have easily survived had the doctors not refused to perform life-saving procedures.
I assume you did not want to insult my intelligence by claiming that the current annual inflation rate is somehow due to Donald Trump, when he was not in office for 11 out of the 12 months in the survey. But the stock market and consumer confidence have already sharply dropped, while inflation expectations surged. If you have a 401k plan, it is going to impact you. This is caused directly by Trump’s economically insane policies, such as “The dumbest trade war in history”, as the Wall Street Journal calls it. The Great Depression was in no small part caused by the Smoot-Hawley Tariffs of 1930. Here is a headline from the Wall Street Journal from a few days ago: “Tariff War Risks Sinking World Into New Great Depression, International Chamber of Commerce Warns.”
Do you drink coffee? According to Trump, the US should not be importing any goods from abroad at all. So not only would you have to say goodbye to your daily cup of Joe, if Trump applied this, it would immediately cost all of Starbucks’ 211,00 employees their jobs, not to mention the millions working in other coffee-related businesses.
Trump wants to change the trade terms with Canada and Mexico. Guess who negotiated the current trade deal and at the time, naturally, called it the greatest trade deal ever made? Trump.
Just as an aside, the Trump tariffs are also illegal, because the US constitution puts Congress exclusively in charge of tariffs, with the exception of cases where national security is threatened. You must be very afraid of those polite Canadians for that to be the case. Only problem with that is that Trump said in the SOTU speech, and I quote, “Tariffs are about making America rich again and about making America great again.” Thus making the tariffs illegal. Another example of lawlessness.
Trump’s economic policies are so “successful” that this week the US asked EU countries to send eggs. The same countries who came to the aid of the US when NATO Article 5 was invoked by the US for the first and only time in its history. The very same countries Trump proceeded to spit on by siding with a murderous dictator who wants to subjugate the whole European continent and kill off the Ukrainian people (for starters).
You are very much mistaken if you believe that people are encouraged to be proud of the West in general. People are seeing that your president is destroying the West. He is shitting on your allies and helping your enemies. You are a laughing stock around the world, especially in the eyes of the enemies of freedom like China, North Korea and Russia. The likelihood of a Chinese invasion of Taiwan is rising with every day Trump is in office. You are the weakest you have been in more than 100 years. Thousands of Americans died in the trenches of World War II to free Europe and the world from a Nazi regime, only for their grandchildren to fall for the same fascist kind of crap.
Donald Trump is the worst president you have ever had (no need to take it from me, this was what a study by about 150 eminent US historians found, and that was just his first term). He is the laziest president ever, working just about 6 hours a day. He is a coward who grandiosely proclaimed he would take the stand in every one of his criminal trials and then slunk away without testifying in every single one. In his recent civil rape lawsuit, when he did not testify, the jury awarded E.J. Carroll $5 million. In the second civil lawsuit, when he finally did testify, he was found liable to pay more than $90 million in damages. His testimony, which lasted all of three minutes, cost him over $95 million. He is a loser. He bankrupted many of his companies, and if not, he bankrupted his business partners. He managed to lose money with a casino. He has lost every single time he appeared in court to be judged by a jury of his peers. The company that bears his name has lost more than half its value since January. During Trump’s presidency, the U.S. lost a net 2.7 million jobs. Every other president since Harry Truman has gained jobs during his tenure. Crime rates were lower under Biden than under Trump.
ANY president would have been better qualified than Trump. A dead body would have been a better president.
As to Godwin’s law, you will have to forgive me. I am German, I had the pleasure of having it drilled into me from childhood how Nazis exploit the democratic system until they get to power, what they do to undermine it once they have the power, that it is the many little cogs in the machinery which keep it working, and also that you do not escape responsibility by protesting that you were only doing your job and following orders, if these orders are clearly unlawful. I know the excuses people give for supporting such a regime (“But Hitler did some good things as well! He built the Autobahn!” – “But we didn’t know!”). I also see when somebody is using Hitler’s vocabulary, playbook, rhetoric and gestures to sway the people to his way of thinking, for example by saying that “immigrants are poisoning the blood”. If you read Mein Kampf, you will find that several of Trump’s favourite phrases are lifted verbatim from it.
If I am somehow at fault for bringing up the Nazi topic, I am blaming you for failing to see when you have one of them right in front of you in the highest office of the land and a party in government which would make the NSDAP proud.
We have a saying from that time in our history which fits the current situation in the US very well: Die dümmsten Kälber wählen ihre Metzger selber.
Edit: It should be “211,000” Starbucks employees, not 211,00, and “His testimony, which lasted all of three minutes, cost him over $85 million”, not 95. Apologies for the typos.
And now, Trump is sharing posts which use a crossed-out pink triangle, the symbol used by the Nazis to express their intentions towards gay men.
I’m just going to mind someone else’s business for a while. I can’t seem to reply to contagious’ response to Allison.
Did I miss the part where Allison made a crack at the military? All I read was ‘ Low T men run the military’.
That one line, surely didn’t warrant such a vitriolic response which includes ‘You’d be China’s Bitch’
I don’t normally comment all that much, but I’d really like to know if I’ve missed a bit of this convo or if Contagious is experiencing a heated fury moment?
Thank you–
I get it. You’re passionate. But I’m not sure why.
I’ve been living under the tyranny of woke snowflake narcissists for a few years now. In every sector of society. In every aspect of my life. From what I’m allowed to safely say, to what I can wear, to how I can think, to who I’m allowed to fuck. To whether I’m an evil prick for eating a steak, wearing leather, or calling myself a woman. To being told again and again that because of the color of my skin I can’t possibly be expected to do math, show up on time, or speak correctly. Maybe Trump will stab us, but at least it won’t be in the back.
1) We’ve always imported eggs. We’ve always exported eggs. The Biden administration killed millions of chickens in a misguided understanding of the bird flu epidemic. Supply and demand ruled. Now the prices are dropping. I never once missed an omelet during The Deprivation. I’m fine.
2) Pakistan, Serbia, and…Congo? Are you actually serious? Well, if that’s what a Soros funded project says, must be true.
3) Regarding the legal wrangling between the executive branch and the inferior courts–there are serious debates about the limits of executive power, but it remains to be determined if anything that Trump is doing is illegal. There are strong arguments that a single district court judge does not have the power to direct foreign policy, essentially giving one inferior judge more power than the Supreme Court, Congress, and the President. Article 2 invests the chief executive with a lot of power.
I do find it interesting that many of the actions Trump is taking were also done by Clinton, Obama, and Biden but were never resisted by Democrats in this way. Not to say that those men didn’t violate due process, equal protection, or make debatable executive orders, or that Trump is. But the fact that judges have a problem with Trump may say more about their politics and financial interests in NGOs than justice. Ditto for his convictions. Congress has some role in assisting with foreign affairs, but the Constitution is clear the President directs foreign policy. The judges have absolutely no role in that. If I’m wrong, blame the US Department of Education.
4) Trump is the duly elected head of these United States. Full stop. The reason he was not disqualified from running for office was because he was not charged with nor convicted of insurrection. If the feds thought they could make it stick, they would have charged him with it because they have a near perfect prosecutorial track record. But they knew that dog wouldn’t hunt. The rule of law at work.
5) Regarding abortion, tariffs, US being a laughing stock, whether Tump is the worst president, his convictions, etc., I refer you to point 2 above about Soros.
6) I gave the annual inflation rate because you indicated inflation was proof of the suffering of my life under Trump. I know it accounts mostly for Biden’s term. Trump has only been in office since January. I only have the numbers through February. If anyone’s intelligence was insulted I think it was mine. But I’m a fun target.
7) “A dead body would have been a better president.” We did have one for president. His name was Joe Biden. (*boom*) (*tish*) That wrote itself. I’m here all week.
8) Godwin’s Law is kind of a joke, but it’s serious. It states: “As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.” Not that you’re engaging in fallacy, but I think the comparisons are hyperbolic in relation to Trump and his administration. I’m loathe to make such a comparison because I think it tends to trivialize the history.
I will point out that it’s the Loving Left that is shooting people, murdering people, throwing Molotov cocktails, censoring speech, inciting terror for political ends, threatening Jews, obscuring their faces like the KKK, breaking windows, demanding that illegals be allowed to remain in the country because we need someone to do the dirty jobs (a similar argument was used to keep slavery going), doxxing, swatting, menacing, rioting, and trying to subvert the laws of the US through judge-shopping or just ignoring the laws altogether. Oh, and painting swastikas on the property of innocent people. And just generally being insufferable, righteous shits with nose rings and pussy hats. What even is a pussy hat?
I don’t listen to those people. I don’t think we’re on the same page.
It’s all the same playbook the US Communist party ran in the 1940s. It’s the long march through our institutions. It’s the result of decades of neglect, grifting, rent seeking, graft, propaganda, and abuse. I watched a video uploaded by one of these ardent anti-Musk people who sold her Tesla because Elon is apparently a Nazi. She was proud of her virtue.
She traded it for a Volkswagen.
We have the narcs we need, I think, to go against the other ones. Find a dog who’ll eat a dog. I don’t worship Trump. There will be mistakes cleaning up this astoundingly fucked up mess. I’m watching to see who complains and when. I believe they’re taking actions to stop the buffoonery in this country. Now it’s a power battle with the courts and crazies, but it needs to happen. And I think that Trump and Vance’s styles of narcissism are proving useful in the situation we find ourselves in. I’ll say that for the years under Biden my civil liberties were mostly limited to keeping my job and reputation as long as I shared my pronouns upon demand.
If France wants the statue, let them come and get it. They better take all the Foucault back, too.
There are people here in education, in business, in law, in coffee shops–and in our own government– who disavow this country and openly state they want it to fail. But they stay. Who say it’s inherently racist. Who actively try to harm it and the people in it. Who would like nothing better than for the entire administration to fail, the government to shut down, and people to die in the streets just to make their point. Who openly call for assassination and make killers into heroes. They were the cool kids for the last few years. I don’t know how it will turn out under Trump, but I know we can’t let the ones who hate us–and themselves–burn it all down. Maybe I’ll tell them to book a one way flight to the Congo since it’s all the same and we’ll be free of them. Win-win.
And please stop listening to Sharon Stone. She doesn’t know when to close her legs.
Hi Allison, I wanted to share some thoughts I had. I know Trump is doing what needs to be done but I also think he’s causing chaos. I know we need to trim the fat but do we have to do it all at once? He’s also hypocritical. He says hes for Americans and he wants to give Americans 5000 each. I wonder if all the American workers who lost there job would prefer the 5000 or there actually job? I don’t like that hes keeping the Associate Press out of the oval office for not calling it the Gulf of America. I think that’s petty and it was his narcissism asserting control. I don’t like that he pardoned everyone from Jan 6, including violent offenders. He said during his congressional address that he wants an automatic death penalty for cop killers. Yet there was a cop that was killed on Jan 6. What happened there? I’m glad he’s stopped the gang members and criminals from getting into the country. He’s also stopped fentanyl from coming in. I’m happy that he’s deporting the criminal, undocumented immigrants. But why are we sending them to Gitmo? Sending them to Gitmo means we have to still pay for them. I know tariffs are needed but why go in so hard especially now that its affecting the stock market and our retirement accounts? I want to believe that Trump is doing what needs to be done but I’m still very cautious of him. I’m not as convinced or confident as you. Maybe I’m over thinking. I dont know. What I do know for certain is the current Democratic party is not the way to go so I hope for the best with Trump. But as you know, hope dies last.
I have good news! We can cancel that outdated sentence “Only the dumbest calves elect their slaughterers themselves” and here is why. From learning about this very practice at a farm where the farmer before the day of slaughtering mentally or/and verbally addresses his stock, be it pigs, sheeps, cattle, and what is to come the next day. On the next day he enters the shed, sits down and waits at the entrance, and each time one animal leaves the herd and comes to him giving the permission for its life being taken. And this animal’s eyes are not dumb nor its behaviour in these circumstances. Needless to say that the farmer treats his animals in a respectful way and makes their life and death species-appropriate.
When we use that sentence on humans in belittling manner, our intent is to dehumanise them and their choices, ignorantly assuming that animals are dumb because they’re capable of making choices as well.
The issue of life and death sits at the center of the debates, is it not? It’s about demeaning survival instead of prosperous living and dying peacefully. It’s about trying to repair a mechanism which can’t run properly anymore and needs to be put to rest. But this mechanism is not a wise animal which will come and give permission to be taken out of business freely…
Simply explained: It would be unwise for the toddler to blame the floor for being there as the toddler learns to walk and falls on it. But after the toddler has mastered walking, the floor becomes a field of endless possibilities where he can walk, jump, run and dance all over it. And only if the floor is full of broken glass there is not even a possibility of learning what a proper walk is.
Generations before us, our generation and probably a couple more generations to come are those parents who remove the broken glass from the floor in order for our grand-grand-grandchildren to have a clean floor to learn proper walking. This is what politicians are trying to achieve. Those who are drawn to this field of impact on human society are searching for solutions and emotional based hostility towards them is not helpful… “If I Ruled My World” was a good exercise of tapping in and empathising with those who are in leadership positions whilst navigating a floor full of shattered mechanisms whose wheels are still turning by long dead impulse.
It’s not as easy as people think to have all kinds of classifications at the round table trying to achieve something which will transform what needs to be put to rest. And it’s about not giving further impulse to a dead mechanism but turning the attention onto feeding a new one..!
Clear clues will revolve about rudiment matters such as: when women don’t want to be women anymore and men not men it’s a sign of a quite suicide on their essence which goes beyond biology. Androgynous balancing out of the male and the female principles in one individual whilst thriving fully on their male or female biological potential — is one thing, but extinction and eradication of any principle by extinction of a complex biological system in a human body, mind and soul is another…
Where the essence is taken care of — agreement can be achieved. And it’s not solely about people in power achieving agreement, it’s about agreement of two principles of life — the male and female — in the simple people who make the country, the state, the society, emanating from their individual relationships to begin with. Changes are achieved collectively by them first and then it mirrors back from the top.
‘I’m just going to mind someone else’s business for a while.’
I reckon discussions become more interesting when more people get involved.
‘I can’t seem to reply to contagious’ response to Allison.’
No – not all comment posts have reply buttons. To get closest, search up for the first reply button available. That one will slot it the comment in the nearest available place under the relevant comment.
‘Did I miss the part where Allison made a crack at the military? All I read was ‘ Low T men run the military’.
That’s all she said. But reading it made me uncomfortable and I am not American and don’t have a family member who is in the military, let alone my child, let alone a son. A statement questioning or doubting the testosterone levels and therefore the masculinity and strength of male soldiers is going to be provocative and it appears it provoked, understandably in my opinion, Contagious, who has posted for years about her soldier son who has risked his life in that role, to respond.
‘That one line, surely didn’t warrant such a vitriolic response which includes ‘You’d be China’s Bitch’’
I read that line as Contagious saying that the whole of America could become China’s bitch without a military to defend it and deter aggression and power grabs from other countries. Her use of ‘you’ was in the general sense. But I agree her response was impassioned. She was angry.
‘I don’t normally comment all that much, but I’d really like to know if I’ve missed a bit of this convo or if Contagious is experiencing a heated fury moment?’
I don’t know if you missed part of the conversation or if something in Contagious’s comment elicited some anger in you. But I do think implying a reader has had a heated fury moment, which only narcissists have, on a blog about narcissism with an empathic readership, was probably unnecessary and unfair to Contagious.
Well written Anna. He can’t run again. Most his policies won’t pass court muster. Not all. BUT he won because mainly people in USA feel they are not heard. Especially lower class white men. Democrats needed a stronger candidate. I truly believe they are all puppets. Trump sells better as he sadly tells what people are actually thinking and many don’t know. Filled with anger. Trump tells them what the actually feel not what they should feel. But it’s anger at the high cost of living and its worldwide in the western world. Some of it is true. I love the Mexican culture – hardworking, kind, family oriented, not all but in general, not the cartels sending fentanyl killing people etc… , but they illegal ones do burden our health care system and education system as we treat and educate all and they don’t chip in. But Europe is going far right over immigration. WhyConor running… le pen, Holland, Italy etc… but are immigrants hurting us more than those who own 80%of corporate wealth? Costs rising are killing our lives. More than landlords? 60% of land in USA owned by top 10%? Why is rent so high? After WWII a steelworker could get a house and programs by FDRwere to better people’s lives. Homeownership was shown to give stability to society. There is a WAR against the middle class. I started my career as a DA but quickly shifted to a consumer attorney who got over 100 million in states for regular folks and not the type who made all the money giving class members a 1.00. Yes my empathy for them is basically in nonexistence.
Allison: I love my son and watched him being bombed on tv. I believe 10% in our USA troops and have zero tolerance for any critism. I finally reached him hysterical as he was in Iraq. I said “ baby you ok?” He said, “ it was scary but we are trained to run to danger not away from it.” That’s who they are.
I am revealing I just sued 4 billion dollar companies. I am sick of it. I am sick of broken promises, because they THINKthey can in this world. I will not break. I will not break my promise that once I learn this area of law, I will help others. Go back to my legal roots. I have no doubt they are psychopathic billionaires. Blackrock. I don’t care if I make a dime. I want justice. No… I also want their heads on pikes. Theres a little girl on the beach saving clams by throwing them in the water. Her mom says you can’t save them all, the little girl says … I can save this one. One by one, one by one.., it’s possible….
Hey Anna: I agree. I am not certain my reply went through as my phone died.
But I don’t see a party. I see 80% of corporate wealth in less than 10% hands. Gee wonder why costs are up but salaries are not,
I see 60% of land owned by 10%? Gee, wonder why rents are 7 times higher and the banks wont lend.
But let’s focus on the immigrants. There is some truth. I LOVE the Mexican culture, warm, kind, family oriented and hard hard working. They will be paying social security because they are having kids. Saving it. But illegals don’t pay taxes, use the health care system and education system. That is true. Trump paid 700$ in federal taxes. Trump lovers say well., change the tax system, he was able to depreciate his buildings, take out loans etc… to avoid taxes. True.
Worldwide it’s the same. Cost of living high. Europe going far right against immigrants. And there is truth in part. Kids not marrying not having children worldwide. China, Korea, Europe, USA, etc… because they feell they can’t afford it.
But we aren’t looking up. It’s war against the middle class. FDR gave policies so even your average steelworker could have a home. He said it gave stability. Eliminated a diverse society….
As to Allison: sorry I was too sensitive. I watched my so bombed on tv in Iraq was hysterical. I finally reached him by cell, “ baby? You ok? Scared?” He replied”sure my adrenaline was going but we are trained to go to danger not run from it.” He said when flying to Darwin, Australia, everyone was joking on the plane. When they went to Iraq, you could hear a pin drop. I love my son and I respect the boots on the ground. I have photos of my son sitting on a plane holding a rifle feet dangling with his brothers sitting on a plane, feet dangling over the edge OPEN thousands of miles above Iraq.
As to my empathy, gone in my pursuit and lawsuit against Blackrock or its 4 billion solar companies. Soon to be served. I am tired of broken promises and corruption. I will not break. I will not break my promise to help others after I learn this new field of law. I was a DA but then became a consumer lawyer getting 100 million plus for others for ten years. I want justice and heads on pikes.
It goes like this…. A little girl is throwing clams in the sea. Her mother says, “ you can’t save them all.” She replies “ but I can save this one. One by one by one by one y one….
And CSW: you are right. Perhaps I didn’t know what low T meant but my son was chosen to lead all the marines in Iraq and jumped up in rank. If it includes any of them. Yup empathy real low.
Sensitive subject. Very.
One thing you missed Anna google gave him 91 million to run and he made 3 billion too . Trump is not alone. Musk gave him 270 millions and so on . Do you really think Trump wanted to over turn Roe v Wade? But the Catholic Koch brothers do..,you need their permission as a Republican to run. And it’s both sides….the billionaires give money in these half billion dollar races. Both sides. Government waste? In return, they get policies, government positions and power. It’s a billionaire sandbox. Our votes don’t matter….
Hi Allison,
I agree that the “tyranny of woke snowflake narcissists”, as you call it, is a very real problem. It is in many respects similar here in Europe. A large part of it is the social climate that has been created where people no longer feel free to say what they want. This is not the same as making laws and prosecuting people, although there are also instances of that, such as the idiotic transgender legislation in some countries, where all a man has to do is say that he identifies as a woman and he will be granted access to all their rights and protections. Funnily enough, the same people do not accept when you say that you identify as a cat and should be allowed to roam other people’s properties to hunt the fish in their ponds as you wish.
However, when it comes to your comparison of what Obama etc. are supposed to have done with what Trump is doing right now, I would like concrete examples and proof of what they have done before I accept that they are comparable.
It is not just one district court who finds that Trump’s actions are illegal, there is a plethora of cases on an almost daily basis across all levels that come down against Trump, and these judges are not just ones appointed by democrats. The reason is not that judges have a problem with Trump, but that his actions are illegal. He is not acting in a grey area, where you can debate the legality of his actions and argue the finer points. He is straight out ignoring every law that stands in his way. Arresting citizens of other countries, holding them against their will and without legal support for weeks (there is at least one Canadian woman who has just had that experience) and without proof that they have done anything illegal, then deporting them without a judicial hearing to a country that is not even their home country and interning them there in what can only be described as a concentration camp, as is the case with the Venezuelans, without anybody even knowing their names or if they have anything to do with criminal gangs at all, never mind proof of any actual crimes committed, is not a grey area. It is as illegal as it gets.
Several Germans have been detained as well. One of them, Fabian Schmidt, who has a recently renewed green card and no active issues in court, has been detained without reason for almost two weeks now. He was interrogated at Logan Airport for hours, and being stripped naked, put in a cold shower by two officials, and being put back onto a chair. He received little food or water, suffered sleep deprivation, and was denied access to his medication. (see https://www.nhpr.org/nh-news/2025-03-14/green-card-holder-from-new-hampshire-interrogated-at-logan-airport-detained)
He doesn’t look like an illegal immigrant to me.
In their so-called fight against DEI, the DOD and the Army removed internet pages about the Navajo Code Talkers, Civil War nurses and prominent Black veterans and units, the Women Airforce Service Pilots and the 54th Massachusetts Volunteer Regiment. This is what they classify as DEI. Strangely enough, they seem happy to leave Clarence Thomas, who said himself that he would never have gotten to where he is without DEI, in his post. But maybe that is because, like Trump, he is openly and unashamedly corrupt and does what he is told by his financial backers.
When it comes to Trump’s criminal conviction, the evidence was overwhelming. If you see the documentation of his business dealings, there is simply no room for doubt. Using starkly different sets of numbers for the same object in official documents, depending on whether they are for tax purposes or investors, such as was the case with the appartment that was suddenly three times as big, is fraud. It is not a hostile jury or judge, it is criminal behaviour by the defendant. Of course, these facts were not reported in many media outlets, nevertheless, they formed the basis of the conviction.
I have also never heard of another government leader who allowed and even ordered a bunch of unvetted people to physically break into government agencies, throw the legitimate workers out and take possession of all the data and material in those offices. No, that is not correct, I have heard of such cases. Usually it’s violent murdering dictators who use such tactics.
A huge difference between Trump and every other presidential candidate before him is that he will not accept the peaceful transfer of power, which is the defining element of a law-based state. Think of Kamala Harris what you will, but she sat there and certified the result of an election that saw her lose by a very small margin. She did not call for violence or even suggest election fraud. What did Trump do when he lost the election? He cried foul (all of the over 60 cases of supposed election fraud were rejected by the courts), started a riot and an attack on the Capitol and tried to get his own vice president and other lawmakers killed. He then proceeded to make the killers into heroes and pardoned them. That is not normal. It is not trivial. It is fundamentally different than anything anybody else has ever done. It is a direct and sustained attack on the very foundations of your constitution and your country. The reason he was not disqualified as a candidate is because SCOTUS, which he personally stacked with his cronies, decided very conveniently that the 14th Amendment requires him to be charged or convicted at the federal level in the first place, when the text says no such thing and many very prominent conservative legal scholars say it is self-executing, because if it needed a conviction, they would have written it into the text as with everything else. If the constitution does not say that you need it, you do not need it. The presidential immunity decision is even worse, it is simply a joke. I would wager not even the Russian constitutional court would claim that the president enjoys immunity from criminal prosecution, they would at least want to keep up the appearance of accountability.
It is frankly astonishing that so many people will agree that the dislike of TOW is based on her behaviour and not on racial prejudice or misogyny, only to turn around and say that the dislike of Trump can only be due to leftist or woke hate and can have nothing to do with his actual behaviour.
I find it strange that you mention George Soros. He is not relevant to this discussion, and without neither explanation nor proof of anything that he has done that would justify why you would refuse to treat an organisation as serious, just because it receives a part of its funding from his foundation, the only reason I can see for bringing him up is antisemitic prejudice. If you have a particular reason for bringing him up, I’d be glad to hear it.
Why would you have a problem with him funding an NGO, when you have no problem with Elon Musk not only giving hundreds of millions of dollars directly to Donald Trump but also Trump doing a commercial for Tesla? I would define this kind of behaviour from a sitting president as corruption.
The woman who traded her Tesla for a VW? Maybe she thought, if I am going to drive a Nazi car, might as well go for the original instead of a knock-off. VWs are pretty durable, and at least they are not known to actively kill their drivers.
No idea what the Sharon Stone reference means.
Does it not bother you at all that you now have a proven rapist as president?
Obviously we have very different viewpoints on the facts and the seriousness of the situation, I think we will have to agree to disagree.
Thank you, Allison, for the discussion, and thank you to HG and everybody else for tolerating it.
I’ve never been called an antisemite before. Interesting. It feels different. It’s so strange.
I’m fascinated that I’m interpreted as such a person. I now find myself feeling even more empathy for Elon and others accused of such things. It’s certainly an odd situation to find myself in, and very invigorating because it’s so weird to be viewed as a racist.
My only other responses to your various comments and questions are that I read a lot, I try not to let how I want the world to be get in the way of how it is, and I move beyond my own search results as much as I can. My ET is down a great deal so overall I’m on a spree of killing my own angels without mercy. I avoid taking seriously the things which aren’t serious.
Thank you for engaging as well.
Hi all! How are you doing? May I ask you to assist me in understanding something?
1. The term -target- is applied to the person who is purposefully targeted by the narcissist for the position of the IPPS/IPSS/DLS/NIPSS. What is the correct English term for the target after the target was successfully conquered and took the position of the IPPS/IPSS/DLS/NIPSS ?
a) Firstly I thought of the term -victim- but HG explained that all people are victims of narcissistic abuse the moment they come up on a narcissist’s radar or/and there is an interaction between them, direct or indirect.
b) Secondly I thought of the term -appliance- but it’s the same since all people are viewed (consciously or unconsciously) as appliances irrespective of their position in the fuel-matrix.
c) Thirdly — irrespective of their position in the fuel-matrix people do remain a target of narcissistic abuse throughout their lives, so the term doesn’t go away so to speak.
When you contemplate on the narcissistic-dynamic do you alter the term -target- into a different term after the target was conquered?
Dear HG,
A Big congratulations on hitting 30 Million hits on narcsite.com
I have followed you from the beginning and read your books, watch your fantastic videos and also have bought lots of very helpful material from the vault.
Only it has taken me a very long time to reach out.
Thank you for all of your help and insight for helping us empaths.
Lots of love. xxx
Thank you.
Congratulations, HG Tudor!
Thank you.
Thank you for pointing that out, Charly! I totally missed that!
Sorry I’m late on my congratulations, Mr. Tudor. Whoop Whoop! Congratulations on 30 Million Hits!
Thank you, Leigh.
Congratulations, HG! Hope you have millions more hits! Xx
Thank you, Rebecca.
There’s none more deserving! Bravo!
Thank you Allison.
You are very welcome Leigh.
Hi, Leigh–
“I know Trump is doing what needs to be done but I also think he’s causing chaos.”
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Leigh. I think your response is quite normal; it’s a normal way people experience the type of narcissist he is, especially in the context of our information ecosystem. Trump, mainstream media, and the rise of social media are a perfect storm. If nothing else, I think Trump has a keen understanding of that. The power of it. And I think he manipulates it, and he knows how to entertain and inject himself into it. Therefore, it makes sense to me that he has dual aspects for you. Myself, I find it more unsettling that Biden was whitewashed as such an honorable man, and that Obama was the Great Black Hope of America. One thing I like about Trump is that he doesn’t operate a facade, and it makes all the right people in the media nervous.
It interests me to see who in the public eye gets uncomfortable with something he says or does, and when. The normals and empaths (mostly assessed just from my application of what I’m learning from HG’s system) have their reactions, but I like to watch how the various narcissists react to him especially. I’m curious about what they experience as chaos and an upsetting of the order, their order. What makes them say the things they say in response to what Trump says or does? All the highly visible, victim-y celebrity expatriation is fun to watch (my apologies to our cousins across the pond for not sending our best). I like the highly emotional reactions of the various pundits and talking heads. Some seem genuinely overwhelmed by their own fear. With some you can see the cognitive dissonance at work just behind the eyes. Watching the straw men get built is entertaining. Most seem to seethe to get out there, be seen and heard, and flap their jaws no matter what. Makes sense–it’s how they get paid.
However, I think people in media have a responsibility to be more logical and even-handed. Everyone is so busy trying to be first with the hot take, but few want to wait a few hours to see if what they’ve been told is actually the case, or look at an extra second of footage for context. I find great fascination in all the bulging eyes, hyperbole, and actual tears, but ultimately the cool heads are my special concern because they usually turn out to be correct. Election night was a hoot and a perfect example of this at work in real time. Most in the media landscape are like dogs chasing whatever car goes past. They do the performative outrage, just like the protesters (who, for all the diversity talk, are rather–never mind). Trump is good business. And an excellent education.
Hi Allison,
I agree, watching Trump and watching other narcissists react to Trump, is absolutely an excellent education. Trump threatens the control of many narcissists in media, politics and entertainment. Watching it all unfold is an excellent education. But that’s not what I really was driving at in my original comment.
I want you to know, that I do my research. I don’t just listen to sound clips and then make a decision based off of that. I listen to news outlets from both sides so I can make an informed decision. I try to be objective. So when I use the word chaos, its not because I was influenced by the liberal media. It because I believe he’s causing chaos. Everything I said in my comment are actually things that have happened or are currently happening. It was not hyperbole or fake news.
You didn’t even try to address any of my concerns. You just invalidated them by implying that I’m only listening to the liberal side. Ironically, that’s exactly what many conservatives do. All I heard in your comment was, “My concerns don’t matter because they’re not real because I’m just listening to the liberal side.” That’s really not the case at all. I’m a little sad about it too because I thought we could have a nice conversation about it.
I agree that it was unsettling that Biden was portrayed as an honorable man. I wasn’t fond of him either. I’m not a fan of Kamala either. I know we need change.
Hi there, Leigh–
I don’t recall saying anything about the liberal media. I was thinking about the media ecosystem because that is the way we experience Trump. I don’t know him personally. Any information I have about anything he says or does is through the media, whether mainstream news, social media, books, interviews, press conferences, etc. Therefore, my experience of him (and yours I presume) is mediated through that system.
Chaos is a matter of perspective. The changes he is instituting must be considered in the context of how the information about him is delivered, among other things. He is bellicose and dynamic, and the journalists struggle to keep up with him, which may be feeding a sense of chaos in the public because the members of the reporting class express exasperation. For others there’s a sense of excitement. But the energy of his narcissism is definitely in full force.
I apologize if I didn’t address key concerns of yours. Would you be willing to state them again so that I may?
Allison,
Thank you for clarifying your original comment. I appreciate that. I thought you were being dismissive of my concerns by suggesting that I was listening to the hyperbole in the media. That’s why I also made the comment about the liberal media. I wanted to clarify that I listen to both sides so that I can have a clearer understanding of what’s going on. I totally misunderstood your original comment and apologize for that.
Yes, I agree that chaos is a matter of perspective. While I agree that some of the chaos is caused by how the information has been delivered, I also believe some people are actually experiencing chaos. In my original comment, I speak about specifics.
Here’s the link to my original comment:
https://narcsite.com/2015/09/29/questioning-me/comment-page-19/#comment-459730
I definitely agree that the energy of his narcissism is in full force. He’s clearly well fueled.
Wow! 30 million and growing! Bravo!…..not surprised. HG should be in every psychology class, simply the best!
Thank you.
Recently escaped a formal relationship with a Mid Ranger. Cannot fully implement social media no contact because of professional obligations. If the Mid Ranger is engaging in indirect, malign hoovering (social media digs, attempts at jealousy) but no direct contact, will the Mid Ranger change tactics or escalate? Or am I safe, and can I just roll my eyes?
Hello Emma, you can improve your no contact regimen so you are not subjected to these form of hoovers. I would recommend that you organise a consultation with me so that I can help you tighten up with regard to achieving no contact so you need not be concerned about what this Mid Range narcissist may or may not do.
MR. Tudor–
Thank you so much for the video about Swift and her shelving (if not disengaging) from Lively and Reynolds. Excellent.
1. Were the public more supportive of Blake and Ryan, would Swift have publicly shelved Blake at this juncture (the articles published about her “step back” or would the silent treatment (bad blood) have remained speculation on the part of the public?
2. What drives the greater narcissist to make a corrective devaluation (in this case, an absent silent treatment) public knowledge (if this is not the beginning of NISS disengagement)?
3. Is the Swift/Reynolds & Lively friendship largely contingent (at this time) upon what happens regarding public perception of Lively (which looks unlikely to shift at this time)?
4. Is the MGN more likely than the UGN or LGN to make a corrective devaluation public (because they are not the shadow operators)?
5. How did Swift take the “dragon” comment and how is her interpretation of a comment like this linked to public perception? Were the public in favor of Blake–would Swift be more likely to take it as a compliment? (She’s powerful) Is the negative public opinion causing her to interpret the comment more negatively? (She’s a monstrous servant–how I heard it.)
6. When it comes to Narcissistic Cementation, what schools are the most common to end up without an empath? You’ve revealed two UMR/LMR. (Reynolds/Lively and King Charles III/Camilla) and a UGN/UMR (Clintons).
7. How would you react if someone in your personal life called you “their dragon” then dragged you into a legal mess and you were required to sit for a deposition?
Thank you so much for your time! Greatly appreciated.
Dear HG, do you perform a narc detector on a person, if an interaction has lasted for a short period, like 12 days? Is it going to be accurate? I’m a bit worried on what is happening right now. Or better probably wait.
That is a rather short time period, which would be taken into account in the assessment. However, if there is a lot of information gathered around that 12 day period (and possibly either side of it even if there has not been any direct interaction) an assessment would be undertaken.
Thank you, HG. Today is one month. We had physical interactions. It’s just weird that when I listen to your materials or read, it seems so obvious and logical to me – yes, clear, if I see this or hear this, I would avoid this person. But in reality, it’s difficult. Confusing. Idk, if they are indeed – red flags or I just become paranoid. He told me he loves me on 3rd day after we met. But my 2nd husband also told me that on 3rd day. Maybe it’s okay and normal. He keeps telling me that now everyday, and more over he keeps asking me all the time: ” Do you love me?” , which irritates me, cuz I told him from the start I don’t want to fall in love ever again, marry again, commit to anyone again or have more children. I don’t want anyone asking me who I’m texting to, why I’m smiling, tracking my phone, and any of this controlling sh.t. I want open relationship. I told him to stop asking me that question. But he said he would keep doing it till I say yes. I replied: I would never say yes. I attended a funeral to my love devotee trait last year, paid respect and said goodbye. I only love my children now. Excessive flattery – check. Excessive texting – check. If I don’t text him back within 3 hours, he gets upset. He doesn’t say anything, but I can feel. I’m writing here now, and I can see the notifications from him at the top. I’m ignoring them. He has already booked a trip for us to the beach resort, in May, thou I told him, it’s not necessary. He insisted. I gave him my passport details. He found me on all social media. And he also said he wants to marry me (thou he is not officially divorced, as me also), to move in with him now, have children with me, cuz he wants beautiful children. I think, he is just joking really, dark humor. He likes to joke.
Anyway, I probably just overthinking that, and imaging things, nothing important. I can break up with him anytime. I have too many things going on right now, still resolving belongings devision due to divorce with my husband, thou it’s not really fair (cuz according to the law everything I owned before marriage should stay with me), but I gave up, I don’t want 2-3 years war with him in court, I just want him out of my life, thou my smart beautiful teenage daughter told me :” Mom, you shouldn’t have, you should have found a good lawyer”. Too late, I have already signed everything. Now I own him money. My 6 year old son asks : “Mommy, why you don’t love Daddy anymore? Why did u leave us?” He doesn’t know that his daddy said, that our son stays with him. Period. And if I try smth, he would destroy me. But I can see my son and spend time with him , whenever I want. So it’s okay, I guess, I just pay now child support. And my husband is a good father, very caring for our son. He does a lot for him. Thou I told him we need to arrange for our son to attend a child therapist due to divorce, cuz he is suffering. He said all therapists are frauds and our son is perfectly fine. I’m going to do it anyway, on my own expense.
My first husband also hates me. I still communicate with him, cuz we have a daughter. He even stole her once from me. It was cruel. Coming to the airport and no one is answering the phone for a few days. He said it was her choice. Thou he booked her for a new school in advance, planning that, you can’t do it on Aug 25th. She came back 9 months later.
Anyway, I think, I can’t do ND, for any of them. I’ve tried. I paid, and I filled it half for my husband, but there are things I can’t share. I know nothing can surprise HG, but it’s personal to me. I just can’t do that. Maybe later.
Hello HG thanks for the informative resources and YouTube channel. If I were to book an audio consult, would you allow me to use the time to interview you for my podcast?
Hello LadyListener, yes, you can do that. I look forward to hearing from you.
Dear HG,
on the topic of you revealing more of your character to an IPPS, be it the Shieldmaiden or anybody else. Aside from the question of her accepting you; if it was me, a huge problem would be finding out that you had discussed the relationship in such depth with all of us online. Even if the lady had no difficulty with accepting your reasons for keeping certain information from her, she may well consider the dissection of your relationship in this sphere such a massive betrayal of her trust that it would break you apart. I certainly would not blame her. Which is why I am very pleased that you have ceased giving us updates on the Shieldmaiden, no matter whether there is any link to this issue or not. If I may offer some unsolicited advice to you: for such a new dynamic to stand any chance at all, I believe it would be very much to your advantage and to your credit to keep it completely private.
Hello Ultra,
we were in the restaurant.
She started to talk about one of her exes (like many other times-hours and hours) but in this case she tells me a specific episode where he made her feel sexually rejected.
When this happened I felt a sense of disconfort and non-sense.
I suppose this was a specific kind of triangulation.
But a little “strange”.
Can u explain this to me?
On the assumption that the person you were dining with is a narcissist, he is triangulating you with an ex. He is describing the sexual rejection of her to test the extent of his control over you with regard to how you react to this tale.
Hello HG.
I had been disengaged (or painted “very black” and putted on the shelf) 3 days ago.
She works with me. Not so close but let’s say near.
I met her today and I made a little smile e said hello (+hand). She smile to me and respond (+hand).
Like if she didn’t said very hurtful and evil things to me on telephone recently and made a silence treatment later.
She did a little smear campain during devaluation.
I was prepare to see her as completely indifferent, angry or disgusted by me.
She was not.
What do u think?
You have not been disengaged from. I recommend you organise an audio consultation with me so that I can receive more information from you to enable me to provide you with an accurate assessment and advice.
Ok, thank you.
Unfortunately english ins’t my mother language.
So it is difficult for me have an audio consultation about this problem.
However maybe i could opt for the m consultation. Like I did in the past.
It is exactly how you explain. If the emotional thinking is very high you can see the different red flags but you will continuing to interact.
In my case the idea was “I studied so much, i can control her” or “She is not so dangerous. She is less skilled the other narcs”, “It doesn’t matter if I’m an ipss. For now i will enjoy the benefits”.
Yes, very probably it is not a true disengagment. She is polite, even friendly when we meet (and this is more creepy in some way). She responded in 1 minute and kindly to message days ago (a job info request).
However my self-love doesn’t allow me to write a message to her without a job motivation. Obviously ET is continuosly trying to make me fall.
If it helps PS, I tried to “manage it” set boundaries by living in separate countries, legal separation, divorce, offering him an open marriage to keep the good, let another deal with the bad. I love the man not the damaged child within him. It did not work even in another country he found out ways to reach me. Uk police called me to offer protection and I live in California. What’s unique about mine, he has never in 12 years gone away. He never cheated. I seem to be a good appliance. He is good with technology, he seeks out third parties, he creates accounts for me and sends lov songs. But in the end it’s your internal light switch, for me, I know longer want a future. End of.
Thank you.
Yes, I understand.
Unfortunately I can’t escape from the workplace in this months.
She receive constantly hoover triggers.
She used the coterie to talk to me and made a malign hoover this week.
I was prepared.
But my ET is now at extremely high levels.
I will bring hg audios to the workplace and constantly listen.
My life is emotional torture in this period.
Hello again, HG.
I wanted to ask you some questions that are somewhat complex to express, and since I am not an English speaker, I hope I can be clear enough to make myself understood and receive appropriate answers:
1_ Can an EEG detect if a person is an Empath, Empathetic, Normal, Narcissistic, or a Narcissist?
2_ Does the Empath Detector also help you determine if the person using it is Empathetic/Normal/Narcissistic, or does it only define whether a person is an Empath or not?
3_ If it helps determine the other categories, will you tell the person what their specific category is (assuming they are not an Empath)? For example, will you inform the user that they are an MMR type A?
4_ If someone who you have already determined is not an Empath requests a consultation with you and asks for advice on different aspects to improve their life, will you provide guidance and accurate advice as you would with an Empath?
5_ If you detect that a user of the Empath Detector is actually a full-blown Narcissist, and that Narcissist, knowing their diagnosis, requests a consultation with you for help, will you assist them?
Please let me know if I haven’t been clear on any point, so I can rephrase it.
Thank you very much, HG.
Hello Trueno,
1. No.
2. It will state whether the person is a narcissist, narcissistic, normal or empath. If empath, the empath detector will tell you the school and cadre.
3. No, it will not make a determination as to the sub school of narcissist.
4. Yes. Anybody may consult with me.
5. See 4.
From what I’ve read here on narcsite.com, I understand that a Lesser Narcissist would never be interested in trying the Empath Detector or the Narc Detector.
A Greater wouldn’t either.
But on the other hand, a Mid-Ranger would do it, convinced of being an Empath.
This made me think of two possibilities:
First, the possibility that a Narcissist diagnosed by you becomes aware of their Narcissism and asks for help to acquire more Fuel and other Prime Aims. This would make them incredibly dangerous: a diagnosed Narcissist using your knowledge, for example, to make a robust No Contact regime that’s being applied against them fail.
The second possibility is that the Narcissist, once diagnosed, asks you for help to learn how to control their Narcissism, in order to avoid harming others and also to prevent others from harming them, due to their different needs…
But thinking about all of this, I come to some conclusions:
1_ If you determine that the person testing the Empath Detector is a Full-blown Narcissist, then they must automatically be a Mid-Ranger, right? Since the Lesser and the Greater would never use it…
2_ The Mid-Ranger, blinded by their Narcissism, would think that it’s impossible and that your diagnosis is wrong. Their Narcissism would prevent them from accepting the fact that they are a Narcissist.
3_ This would act as a filter, since it’s very likely that when the MRN believes the diagnosis is wrong, they would discard the possibility of having a Consultation with you (they would think your diagnoses are unreliable and would avoid asking you for advice).
4_ In this way, even if a Narcissist takes the Empath Detector and you tell them that they are a Narcissist, they wouldn’t become aware of what they truly are, and they wouldn’t ask for help to do evil or to control their own Narcissism. They would simply complain publicly and/or privately and try to defame you and your tools.
5_ This makes it practically impossible for a diagnosed Narcissist to ask for or receive advice from you, whether to harm others or protect themselves. Virtually no chances of other Narcissists seeking help from you, either consciously or unconsciously.
Are my deductions correct, HG?
Finally, I have four more questions:
A) Can a self-aware Narcissist (who would invariably be a Greater) be poor?
B) If a Greater stops pursuing the Prime Aims, would their life begin to become more difficult in all aspects?
C) Do you receive information from the people who hire your services (Detectors, books through the Knowledge Vault, etc), or is it anonymous?
D) How advisable is it to take an Audio Consultation if I have an intermediate/low understanding of spoken English, and a low level of speaking it myself?
Sorry for the length. Thank you very much for your previous answers, HG, and once again, let me know if anything I’ve said isn’t clear enough.
1. Not necessarily. It is most likely, amongst the narcissists, going to be used by Mid Range Narcissists. However, a Greater might use it in order to gaslight a victim and a Lesser may use it thinking they are empathic, although that is far less likely.
2. Correct.
3. Not necessarily, they may wish to speak with me to try to persuade me that I am wrong.
4. They might ask for assistance addressing behaviours even though they do not accept they are a narcissist.
5. See above.
A. Very unusual but it could happen.
B. They would not stop.
C. Some people do this anonymously.
D. You may find an email consultation a better option as your written English is effective.
Your responses have been immensely helpful and are sincerely appreciated.
Thank you for generously sharing your time and expertise, HG.
You are welcome.
Hg fascinating.
Lieber HG,
Ich wollte Dir nur sagen, Deine Artikel und Bücher haben mir enorm geholfen, mich vom Narzissten zu separieren.
Das kann kein Psychologe oder Psychiater erreichen, was Du kennst. Du bist von Deiner Tiefe der Kenntnis und der brillanten sprachlichen Ausdrucksweise die Nr. 1 in der Welt. Alle psychologischen Ratgeber sind viel schwächer im Vergleich zu Deinem Wissen. Die Psychiater sind sowieso schwach mit dem Narzissmuswissen.
Ich weiß, dass Du das lesen wirst und ich möchte Dir nur die enorme Wertschätzung für Dein geteiltes Wissen geben.
Auf Grund Deiner Artikel kann ich mittlerweile sehr gut die Schritte des Narzissten vorausschauen und das trifft immer zu.
You are the Best!
Liebe Grüße aus Deutschland, leider bist Du in Deutschland nicht populär
PS. Ich mag Dich sehr. Aber niemals möchte ich Deine Freundin sein. Nur Sex mit Dir-das wäre eine Erfahrung wert. Jedoch niemals Freundschaft oder Beziehung, denn das wird keine Frau gesund überleben.
Aber als Fachmann bist Du die Nr. 1 in dem Bereich.
Ich bewundere immer wieder Deine Intelligenz und Deinen brillanten Schreibstil, auch wenn ich Dich durch automatischen Übersetzer lese sowie Du mich jetzt.
Eins muss ich sagen-zum Spielen seid ihr Narzissten die aufregenden Spielfreunde. Für eine Beziehung natürlich völlig ungeeignet. Aber zum Flirten, Spielen, für den Dopaminkick seid ihr Spitze!
Ich versuche oft wie Du zu denken, denn ich glaube, ihr Narzissten habt das bessere und schönere Leben. Als Empathin habe ich viel unter euch gelitten.
Nun, ich versuche bewusst narzisstisch zu sein und das ist schön für mich!
Dear Mr Tudor,
The latest Grammys!
Could it get any lower ? Narcissists continuing to push their limits and getting away with it!
What ever happened to “class and sophistication” ?
Hi Bubbles,
Hope all is well with you.
The Grammys stunt by sleazy-yeezy was pathetic and so degrading for his wife. It’s the opposite of class and sophistication; it’s trashy and vulgar. If it happened elsewhere, she would have probably been arrested for indecent exposure.
It goes to show that sleazy’s music and ‘fashion’ (for want of a better word) can’t be that good if he needs his wife to appear naked or near-naked in public to drum up attention.
Dear WiserNow,
You’re so spot on WN !
I’m not a fan of these horrendous award shows, I view the highlights on the news.
Jaden and Willow Smith probably never thought they’d be outdone.
Just when you thought Bianca’s self degradation couldn’t get any worse, there it is, 🤦♀️ she never disappoints
Her lack of attire was meant to represent her “power” from what I’ve read and she appears to have support from her family! Money truly controls people doesn’t it? I thought she left Kanye not long ago!
Public court of opinion feels she’s being controlled and manipulated by “Ye” (no surprise there) haha
I’m just shocked her “antic“ was allowed to happen and she got away with it. They got their desired reaction, notoriety and stole the show.
(Narcs always pushing the boundaries and everyone too scared to do or say anything)
Sooooo, does this set a precedent for a man to stand there “butt naked” at the next awards and get away with it also ? 🤦♀️
I truly believe people have lost the plot!
Always a pleasure WN😊
Hi Bubbles,
I’m not a fan of awards shows either. I used to enjoy watching them years ago, when they were more meaningful. Back then, I would watch to find out about new music or to learn of new movies that were being praised. I also enjoyed watching because of the dresses and outfits – that is, when an outfit (or make that lack of an outfit) was not meant to “make a scene”.
Your comment about Jaden and Willow made me chuckle. Wearing a castle on your head is so ‘last year’. It became passé as soon as Ye and his missus rocked up.
It really is crude, though, isn’t it – to show up naked in order to deliberately make a scene. What’s next? The two of them have both hit the jackpot in the self-degradation stakes.
With regard to her family, I have seen articles where Bianca’s former boyfriend praised her following the Grammys and said they were still friends. He mentioned her sense of fashion and her ’empowerment’. He said something along the lines of her having always had her sights on a stellar kind of career.
I found that strange, because anyone who cared about her would not think that her being naked at the Grammys was something to praise. I think that anyone close to her who cared about her would be concerned for her.
Then I thought that her family and friends would probably say positive things about her and her ‘antic’ in order to protect her and publicly show their support for her. Who knows what they really think?
With regard to what people will do for money – yes, it is a hell of a drug, that’s for sure.
Apparently, Ye saw Bianca on Instagram and sent her a dm asking her to work for him as an architect and she happily went to the US. There is a song by Ye called ‘Censori Overload’ and the song made their relationship become public. If you read the lyrics, it sounds like she gave him some kind of ultimatum about getting married. However, even though they are supposed to be married, there is no record of a marriage certificate and no formal ceremony, etc. So, are they actually married or not? I doubt it, personally. I think she is very much an appliance.
I think people have lost the plot too, Bubbles. One day, when someone heterosexual who is wearing an elegant outfit receives an award for real talent that is acknowledged by the wider public, the mainstream media is going to call it ‘revolutionary’.
Hello HG,
& thank you in advance if you take the time to answer questions. I did the Emphat detector & found it enlightening if not supricing. The later fact, is perhaps because I been reading your work for a long time. *Majority Contagion w/quad hybrid. A little sad that my carrier trait is so high (40%).Anyways my questions are : Which test do you recomend to take next? My finances are limited so its a one by one step thing for me. I ruled out the weponised emphat one for later as I know I got a lot to work on. But can you in general recomend the trait detector (as it pertain to myself & all I can learn to gain control over is myself as more vital than the narc detector? (the narc in my life is about the only individual I deal with in my life. In many, if not all human interactions situations. Due to isolation, finance etc etc so I am aware of that gaining knowledge in how to deal with the individual is absolutely vital too.)) ??
& my 2nd question pertaining to the little highlight (in addition to the confirmation of my contagion traits) of my 27 % Super Emphat traits. Can I learn to deliberatly enhance/strengthen this minority in order to improve my own situation? I apologize for this lengthy text & also if I violated any rules by the naming cadre, school, %. Thank you for your time & for publishing your work.
Since we are coming out of the Christmas period, do you find people to be any more receptive to manipulation, gullible or charitable in assuming that they are being told the truth around Christmas than at other times?
Christmas can prove useful with regard to guards being lowered and heightened emotional thinking.
Dear Mr. Tudor,
Sometimes I’ve heard mid rangers say, “But, I feel bad.” When they say this, I believe that its some sort of cognitive empathy that they’re displaying. Is it because their image of being a good person has been challenged and that’s what’s making them “feel bad”? Is displaying this cognitive empathy also a way to assert control?
If they are referencing feeling bad about the way they have treated somebody it would be a manifestation of cognitive empathy for a Mid Range Narcissist. For a Lesser, it is simply the repetition of a phrase they have heard.
Thank you, Mr. Tudor.
Dear Ultra,
the devaluation is starting…
The red flags are becoming black flags (I had read the books).
Days ago she said she is no more sure of us.
Manufactered confusion and double messages.
She refused physical touch in some instances.
The exes are no more so bad.
She blame me for stupid things.
I don’t understand if this is just a corrective devaluation or if I must prepare myself to a rapid/cruel discard.
We had just 2 months of moderate Golden period.
Just passionate kisses.
She is a (now I’m sure) MMR Victim.
And her brother is a mmr somatic.
Signs were clear and my therapist said there were many red flags. But my ET was very high.
I don’t understand my position in the fuel Matrix.
She does not have an IPPS.
Could all this be due to the presence of another/new IPSS?
Hello CB, I need more information to assist you and I would recommend, given the confusion that you are experiencing that ascertaining you are dealing with a narcissist through the Narc Detector and then organising an audio consultation with me so that I can garner more information from you and accordingly help you to a higher level of effectiveness.
I understand. Thank you.
Dear H.G.,
I’m currently experiencing bullying from a narcissist in school. How do u stop a narcissist whos in that mode , how do u stop him , he seems to be quite popular and people in class love his jokes about me. I can’t really go no contact bc I need to attend class. What can I do to have him forget about me. And why do narcissist target certain people to bully? What can I do different not to be a target. I tend to be a loner and maybe he sees that as weakness, it’s also a male dominated field and I’m only female so he might find women a good sitting target.
Hello Ari,
1. Ordinarily no contact would be the appropriate response, however, I note your predicament being in the same class.
2. You need to aim for Almost No Contact and there are numerous ways this can be achieved. This requires more information from you for me to help you and therefore I would encourage you to organise an audio consultation with me.
3. People are targeted owing to the ease of achieving the Prime Aims and as per the factors detailed in my book Sitting Target.
Hi Ari:
HG consults are priceless.
As a woman in a male dominated field, I ignore sexism and bullying as long as it doesn’t prevent my success. Don’t get in my way. I have found bullies are reactionary, they feed on another’s reaction. If you are not affected, they get bored and move on. Of course my son… when a 8 year child intervened between a bully who was racist. My son being bigger than the bully broke up the bullying physically. The principal gave him an award for his conduct. Bullies don’t like bigger. Maybe get your big bulky handsome cousin to sit in on class and stare at the bully or better yet report him to the school …after all you are not paying them for an education that sustains a hostile environment. Best of luck!
Dear Mr Tudor and lovelies,
My thoughts are with anyone here who has been affected by these horrendous and devastating LA fires. Just heartbreaking.
Me. Tudor,
Love your work on all the political topics! I just recently saw a video of Trump and Obama chit chatting and laughing in front of VP Harris. She seemed annoyed. I remember my narc triangulating me with my friends like that all the time and making me so furious. Is this a case of trump triangulating Obama with Kamala, in order to provoke her?
It is.
Hello H.G.
After my break up the narcissist left pictures of us on instagram for years. They recently removed it. What triggers a narcissist to do that ?
There are different factors which could cause this to happen. The most likely is that the narcissist has a new intimate partner and you are to be deleted.
The snow is stopping! Did you send it over to fall at my place instead? Very good of you.
That was proper narc snow, by the way, greedily sucking up all the fuel from my phone battery and stealthily covering everything that was white before with a foggy grey veil, so that the snow could shine the brightest.
How do you see a romantic relationship between
MMR Victim woman
LMR Cerebral man
Hi LMR:
Mi would say not long. A victim narc wants to be taken care of like a baby. The narc won’t do it no matter what the type. I see the MMR walking after a few passive aggressive display of dislike of the victims actions or control. Disengagement quick.
Hello H.G.,
Some politicians use Christianity in their political campaigns. Clearly they are not very prude or filled with morals. So what is going on there when politicians use Christianity as part of their political agenda. Is it to claim superiority over others or just facade management? I’m curious as this seems to be a trend nowadays.
Thanks in advance. Hope u have a great new year ultra.
Please see the Holy Narcissist.
Why is it that people under narcissistic cults like Nexium or Scientology have breakthroughs in their lives and heightened periods of productivity and empowerment. What is it about cult dynamics that inside their teachings people get massive benefits as well?
Hi, Geoff–
I think there are a few things going on:
1) Cultic teachings and their narcissist and/or psychopath leaders can hijack basic ideas around self esteem, finding meaning, love, etc. and pervert them. The basic ideas can be solid, and people can access a pre-packaged decent set of messages which are helpful.
2) The people in these organizations–especially the ones you’ve named–could already be considered successful by most. I understand that the fees for participation in those organizations are quite high, and go higher the more “advanced” one becomes. Also, the recruiters–the loyal lieutenants–in those organizations seek out and prefer famous people, people who already have high net worth, or other benefits. As people already driven to find more success or self improvement, the cult victims may always feel that there could be more to life. They’re seekers. They want “more” and so they’re likely to find it. Once they invest time and money into this new thing if they do start to feel discomfort cognitive dissonance might promote the idea and feeling within them that they are experiencing benefits. They also might credit the cult with success they could have claimed on their own.
3) With the selection process they’re also a kind of grand networking opportunity. Lots of appliances are in operation. Once you’re “in”, other people in the group will link you up with their own professional and personal networks and there are benefits to that. This kind of activity can be powerful in any kind of endeavor and is not the exclusive domain of a cult. Especially in Scientology with its celebrity emphasis this can lead to real, material opportunities professionally because other Scientologists want to promote other Scientologists. This can lead to some positive outcomes, but the cult is the driver only because people want it to be. And success breeds success. Although Battlefield Earth makes me think twice.
4) Cults do offer a sense of order and purpose which can enhance goal seeking in all areas of life.
5) There is likely some attentional bias in operation. People may report greater “empowerment”, but as there is not a measure for this and the word operates as a floating signifier it’s difficult to determine whether the groups are actually effective or how. As with the Golden Period, even once it ends you believe it’s just around the corner again.
6) Cults provide a high. For a time and if they get truly brainwashed people can feel really great about themselves and their lives whether or not their external circumstances outside the cult have changed. They may feel “breakthroughs” but, again, this is difficult to measure and define. As part of the high they may indeed become more dynamic, and thus gain the things they want in life because they take more risks or generally feel more up to things. Cocaine works for this as well. As does addiction to the narcissist.
So, I think the answer is cults provide “benefits” similar to those experienced when being entangled in a romantic relationship with a narcissist. Sure, it feels great. The experiences are great. Life can be better in measurable ways. Then there’s the attention, the excitement, the access. The hope of being The Chosen One. You look better, you feel amazing, you take better care of yourself to keep up and please that narc, that group, that sponsor. You might gain a better car or house or clothing. People at work take notice of your new productivity and you get rewards. It’s all up up up–for a time. But what’s under it is false. It’s a lie to the extent that the victim doesn’t see that he or she can access and develop their own power.
All in all, I think being under the undue influence of a cult and under the sway of its leader is a harmful state despite any supposed “massive benefits” because of the financial, personal, and psychological risks. There is no reason why a person needs a cult to experience the gains you’ve described, whether they are externally visible or more subjective. As with anything it’s a combination of the person, his or her ability, determination, how they can leverage others, a bit of luck, etc. which influences the odds for success. But with a cult and the points I’ve outlined it becomes difficult to determine exactly what gains people are having and whether they would have experienced “heightened productivity” anyway.
Any endeavor that gets together a lot of people primed for self improvement is likely to generate improvement or to at least cause people to credit the group with the betterment they feel in their own lives. But since cults–like narcissists–by their nature keep things murky in order to keep people entangled I don’t think it’s possible to give them all the credit for any good outcomes, real or imagined. As with the cocaine, cults can make a person more focused, alert, and goal oriented which can lead to success. A high person can feel empowered even as they sail their brand new sports car over a beautiful cliff in Ibiza to a twisted death below. But who’s to say that a good diet, exercise, stress management, better networking, and more gumption wouldn’t bring about the empowerment they seek, however they’re defining it, without the crash?
You know Geoff , I don’t know. Some are pyramid schemes but others? They must get some sense of acceptance and belonging and maybe the cult leader rewards them. But often we read about abuse and victimhood by all but the cult leaders and inner circles. ???
Merry Christmas H.G!
Just got a Christmas Hoover after years. Narcissists got divorced and I guess is on the hunt. Narcissist said nice things then “I’m so happy to be starting a new relationship.” Why the need to tell me they started a new relationship? I haven’t spoken to the narcissist in over a decade. What’s the point of specifically telling me they are starting a new relationship? I was under the impression him wanting to meet up and connect again as friends was to try to get me back as ipps as narcs don’t do friendship with exes. Hope u enjoy your holiday ! Thanks for your brilliant work sir!
Triangulation to provoke you for the purposes of achieving control and drawing fuel.
Hello HG,
could you please tell me about stigma empaths? Thanking you.
I do not recognise that description as a categorisation.
Dear Ultra,
what do you think of Lily Philips?
Already answered.
Unfortunately I can’t find the answer.
I’m downloading a gangbang video with her 🙂
Hi LM,
If you go to HG’s – Knowing the Narcissist: Ultra channel and search for a video named Russel Brand : Pray for Lily. You’ll find your answer there.
Is 101 still just a gangbang?
Merry Christmas HG and Everyone! 🌟🎅🏼🎄🎁❤️💫
Thank you for another great year, HG! ❤️
You’re welcome WN
Dear Ultra,
can u give us more specific info about MMR Type B Victim woman?
See HG Mauls the MMR B Narcissist in the Knowledge Vault.
Merry Christmas, Mr. Tudor. I hope that your Christmas is full of good food and company.
Merry Christmas, Dani and all,
I hope you are all blessed with peace and happiness, continue holding on to that strength you all show.
Thank you for having beautiful hearts and welcoming me here 🎄
Merry Christmas, HG, I hope you have a wonderful time, full of love, peace and happiness, gather that precious fuel ❤️
I hope you had an amazing Christmas, Carole!
Hello Dani,
I did, thank you.
Family and friends around the table, lots of wonderful and thoughtful gifts…unfortunately no snow, but I have that here!
I hope you enjoyed your Christmas also.
I hope 2025 blesses you love, peace, health, wealth and happiness 🩷
HG,
when you recount your youth adventures, especially your thoughts at the time, is your word choice typically just writing down what you were thinking all those years ago or is it influenced to a large extent by how you frame it now as an adult – if it is possible to distinguish between the two?
It is naturally the case that I will seek to recall what was said or thought at the time but it will pass through the filter of the now.
Is there a 3rd book in the Ian and Ashleigh series?
In hand.
Thank you for explaining, HG.
Hi HG, are people correct to observe that Oscar Pistorius has chosen a partner who closely resembles Reeva? Is that to triangulate and provoke? Or is any resemblance a coincidence, and his new ipps just happens to look like Steenkamp?
There will be a video about this.
👍
Dear Mr Tudor,
Dominique Pelicot, now there’s a real sick head! Drugging his wife for over 10 years and having over 50 men rape her whilst she’s comatosed and videoing it into the bargain. Not to mention taking photos up women’s skirts.
“My split personality and my childhood trauma made me do it” ….. WTH ? 🤦🏽♀️ 20 years is not enough !!
Another prison key to toss away forever, what say you Mr Tudor?
He got the maximum French law allows. Evidently that needs to be addressed.
Dear HG,
Will you do a video on this subject, please? Xx
Dear Mr Tudor,
I totally concur with you.
Thank you
Well done to his wife for going public, one very courageous lady ! 👏
Dear Bubbles,
I agree with you, he needed life in prison for those horrible crimes. Xx
Dear Rebecca,
Another whacko brain! Not to mention all the disgusting creeps who participated. It’s beyond belief!
Dear Bubbles,
Hope you had a great Christmas and the Justice System is a joke sometimes, sadly it fails too often. Xx
Dearest Rebecca,
Dear ol St Nick surprised me with a concert ticket…..I’m so excited ! I hope yours was very merry Rebecca.
My perception is, whilst the justice system is meant to be based on fact, parole release is unfortunately given to many who don’t deserve it including repeat offenders with unjust laws and policies.
Look at those innocent people who have been damned because of insufficient or covered up evidence. Quite often it’s just a numbers game, the powers that be want a “catch” to make themselves look good. Being politically correct has a lot to be answered for. It’s always the victims who suffer the most and are never fully taken into consideration
We tend to treat the symptoms instead of looking at the cause.
Sadly, corruption within the legal profession is rife along with major companies, (food n drug), leaders, banks, AI etc
There’s literally no one we can trust anymore.
Mr. Tudor,
If I could issue ten commandments to This One’s Wife, they would be…
1. Every time you look down the barrel of a camera, you will shout (with great emotion, be it excitement or heated fury): “HG Tudor teaches people about my narcissism!”
2. For each time the a sugar or a bot has smeared King Charles or the Prince and Princess of Wales to defend you or lies you’ve told, you will post (and not delete) the following comment on articles praising yourself: “To learn more about my narcissism, go to narcsite.com or the YouTube channel, HG Tudor – Knowing the Narcissist: Ultra.”
3. You will host a party where you apologize to all those you have harmed and wronged as they stand with their back to you and walk away before you finish your apology.
4. You will dress as Overripe Tomato Lady and go to Speaker’s Corner in Hyde Park to confess all the lies you’ve told about your family, Harry’s family, the people of the UK, and to Harry, providing boxes of overripe tomatoes for the commoners after publicising that you will be there for that purpose.
5. You will give a full media round of interviews, answering every question honestly (via the majority observations, as opposed to through the lens of your narcissism) complete with a reference to an HG Tudor video.
6. You will no longer advocate or think about censoring others’ speech when they justly criticize your behavior, choosing instead to publicly say, “I cannot do better. I’m a narcissist. To learn more about narcissism, the work of HG Tudor is the best that has ever been produced.”
7. At the end of any public word salad speech, you will enthusiastically praise HG Tudor.
8. Any time you walk a red carpet, you will speak fondly of YouTube channels that criticize you, including, but not limited to, HG Tudor – Knowing the Narcissist: Ultra, Trevor Coult, MC, the Sidley Twins, RHR Jen, and all others to be determined by HG Tudor.
9. You will passionately seek to be a public example of narcissism in all ways for HG Tudor’s benefit as long as he feels he needs you serving in such a capacity.
10. You will follow all commandments of HG Tudor’s, RHR Jen, and the Sidley Twins.
I feel she should be useful to your work in more ways, sir. Thank you for your time! Much appreciated. Loving the series. It’s quite illuminating.
1) Thou shalt board no other yachts on your knees.
2) Thou shalt not make unto thee any wigs, weaves, or extensions. For once.
3) Thou shalt not take the name of thy nemesis in vain.
4) Forget the sabbath day. Every day is a day of rest for you lot. Actually work. For once.
5) Honor thy–oh, nevermind!
6) Thou shalt not play the race card.
7) Thou shalt not commit vocal fry. You sound pretentious and vapid.
8) Thou shalt not steal valor.
9) Thou shalt not bear false Whiteness.
10) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s nose, nor his microphone, nor his family Christmas card, nor her successful lifestyle brand, nor their 1000 flushing toilets, nor her lip gloss, nor bronzer, nor anything else that is thy neighbor’s. Keep your grubby man claws to yourself.
For I am Allison, and I am the boss of you. Get bent.
Hi Allison,
Well done! I love your commandments! Xx
I’m here all week.
She can’t covet the microphone…harsh, but fair…I did enjoy watching that lady refuse to give it to her. I feel like we need a 2024 Blooper Reel for her to circus music…what say you, Allison?
“I feel like we need a 2024 Blooper Reel for her to circus music…what say you, Allison?”
Make it so.
Allison,
In reference to your comment to me under the post ‘Sex and the Narcissist’ (date of post: 1 Nov, 2024):
“The questions leave them without many options but to have their noses rubbed into it.” [In your comment, they are not even questions; they are ‘commandments’]
“Do you want answers…” [obviously not, because they are not questions, but ‘commandments’].
“… or to punish those being questioned?” [The vitriol and attacking tone suggest that it is punishment you want].
“Do you want to control what they talk about, or are these suggestions from the box to break the ice?” [Looks like overt control to me].
Allison,
You are directing your ‘commandments’ to one woman in particular. This one woman is very well known for being a narcissist. She has ignited great hatred in the hearts of many, especially in one nation.
The way she is spoken about though, in such punishing, vitriolic terms, is normalised and even promoted.
This is the kind of vitriol and hatred that is normalised in less obvious ways towards women as a gender in general.
For example, consider the case of Gisele Pelicot, the French woman at the centre of the current mass rape trial.
There is an article online, published by the BBC, that lists the names of each of the men who attacked Gisele Pelicot. Along with their names, the article also provides a brief profile about the life of each man.
The majority of the men who willingly decided to rape, assault and abuse her while she was unconscious were married with children at the time.
In the case of one of the rapists, he was at the house of the Pelicots raping Mrs Pelicot ON THE SAME NIGHT HIS WIFE WAS GIVING BIRTH TO HIS BABY DAUGHTER.
In this kind of social dystopia where men are capable in large numbers of doing this, I think it is VERY NECESSARY to “rub their noses in it”.
As Gisele Pelicot said herself, “it is time for the shame to swap sides”.
Huh?
‘This…woman is very well known for being a narcissist.’
Within this particular social circle, certainly.
‘The way she is spoken about though, in such punishing, vitriolic terms, is normalised and even promoted.’
Yes.
‘This is the kind of vitriol and hatred that is normalised in less obvious ways towards women as a gender in general.’
Our society has established tropes against women: slutty, catty, liar, bad mother, not a mother, pussy whipping, gold digger, wrong body shape, bad hair, too much plastic surgery. Both genders will smear women with these accusations, starting in schools. Women can be particularly brutal to other women.
So yes, unfortunately I agree that vitriol and hatred against women is largely normalised (although if a woman behaves herself very very well and follows all the stated and unstated rules she can sometimes avoid such accusations)
I agree we reserve certain smears for women, especially sexual ones. It’s the shadow side of desire.
Awesome Allison! Happy holidays!
Thank you. Same to you.
Hello Mr. Tudor, I remember a while back you did a video on a pick up artist in the UK who was teaching his students how to sexually harass women. It seems the same guy is now a big hit in USA as a life coach. He is all over tik tok. His name is Julien Blanc. I believe is the same guy you did a video on. I’m shocked as he has reinvented himself and fooling a whole new audience with his new guru persona! I love all your cult and guru videos, they are so eye opening !
Yes and this individual whined like a bitch about my video exposing him. As ever, my observations were accurate and this has been confirmed by his subsequent behaviours.
Whining–how Alpha male.
😝
What was your video about him called? And where can I find his whining reaction?
It was about pick up artists. His reaction was an email to me.
Dear HG,
Will you share his email in a video? I think some of us would like to know your reaction to his whiny email to you. Xx
HG, happy holidays!
I just watched the movie about the American black woken in World War II! It was moving and inspirational but it got me thinking.
1. Is there any link between racism and narcissism? The racists in the film followed typical narcissistic behavior maybe narcissists
Oddly it is typical with sexists. Harvey Weinstein, Jeffrey Epstein, P Diddy. Some you have opined as narcissists.
2.
Why would a narcissist succumb to racism or sexism if they do?
3. Do normals?
4. Empaths? I know I don’t. And it disgusts and puzzles me. I always think it’s about classism. Those on top blame others to divert and create hate to divert the attention of the real reason people struggle. But I know it’s more complex than that. It’s so ignorant. We are all humans under God. Equal.
3. And is it learned behavior typically?
It’s another problem worldwide, children raised with hate against a culture. Even Americans in general, are targets of hate.
4. Can you take an empathetic child and raise him and her to hate or does he or she hide it?
It’s fascinating really.
Hi Viol,
Here’s the article that Mr. Tudor did on the pick up artist:
https://narcsite.com/2021/03/16/narc-alert-pick-up-artist-3/
Dear Mr Tudor and lovelies,
Am I the only one who finds the “Elf on the Shelf” really creepy and scarey ?
Haha
Hi b,
No, you’re not. 😄 xx
HG and everyone,
Have a Merry Christmas and a better New Year! Xx
It’s a silly addition. Santa Clause “seeing you when you’re sleeping” is creepy enough. Bloody Peeping Tom.
Haha, no, you’re not the only one! I learned a few days ago from my grandson, “DON’T TOUCH HIM! HE’LL LOSE HIS MAGIC!!”. What?! It’s all new to me but that elf has gotten into all kinds of mischief!
Dear A Victor,
I’ll be watching you , every move you make, if you touch me, consequences will be severe. ….. do not question me ! You can’t play with me either. Sound familiar ??? Power and control from the parents. WTH ?
Kids need to be nice little people all year round not just at Christmas in order to get presents.
It prompted me to ask because I saw it in the store the other day and thought “is this creepy thing still going” ?
The only one getting anything out of this, is its creator worth $100 mil apparently.
I’m sticking to my advent calendar! Hohoho
Yes Bubbles, that all does sound familiar, creepy is a good word for it. Thanks for pointing it out! I agree, advent calendar all the way!
What?! Where is it? Where?!!
https://www.dogcastradio.com/upload/PN026088.jpg
These two upstanding citizens have ended the reign of elf terror. He’s toast!
Thank goodness, Dani. That elfin bastard.
Dear Dani,
That’s hilarious! Thank you
Gorgeous dogs
Hello H.G.,
On the Tonight show with Jimmy Fallon , Angelina Jolie seemed nervous. She even said she felt nervous being on the show. I wanted to ask you why would she be nervous if she’s a sociopathic narcissist?
Feigning it.
HG, would a pure psychopath, no narcissism, feign feeling something?
Yes.
Thank you HG.
Hi AV,
My brother fooled me for years and I didn’t even realize it. Xx
Hope you’re well. Xx
Hi Rebecca,
Doing very well thanks. Hope you are too!
Hi everyone,
Merry Christmas!
AV
Rebecca, hi dear.
You wrote: “My brother fooled me for years and I didn’t even realize it”
Was he a narcissistic psychopath (greater) or a pure psychopath?
Looking back and knowing what he is now, how would you score his ability to feign to have feelings or in general his masking ability?
How close would you say he actually felt something or nothing at all?
What was the most important to him in life?
Hi AV,
I’m doing well and hope you had a great Christmas! Xx
Leigh,
I like the swerving snow on the home screen too. It’s a cool Christmas effect 🙂
The snow has now stopped swerving and the snowflakes are falling straight down.
Are you gaslighting us, HG? 🙁
No there weren’t when I last checked.
Stop projecting.
If I may, Mr. Tudor. The snow isn’t swerving on my end anymore either. Its also now snowing on my phone, when it wasn’t a couple of days ago.
Hi Leigh,
I still see the snow on my phone, it’s falling straight down too. Xx
I love the snow!
hahaha 🙂
I’m not projecting, HG, you’re projecting!
Actually, WN, I think you do project. Often.
But, I’m not perfect, either.
Mr. Tudor,
Thank you for your video on the remembrance of Doug and how it affects you. It was another teachable moment for me.
There have been times when I’ve questioned the fondness I hear in your voice. I’ll wonder, could he be fond of this person? I realize its my ET though.
In the case of Doug, it was easier for me to believe that you were fond of him. I hoped it was true. But I know that hope is false mistress. Even though there’s no emotion behind it, I was still pleased to hear that Doug still has relevance to you.
Mr. Tudor,
Seeing the snow on the heading on the home page was a nice little surprise. I love that I can control the direction of the snow with my mouse! ❄🌨❄🌨
Dear Mr Tudor,
Have you seen the latest interview with Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo from “Wicked”? WTH? ??? Two raving narcissists on rich drugs! Makes TOW look almost normal haha
Hollyweird is getting weirder!
Note to self… don’t see “Wicked” haha
I have seen it. Pair of self-absorbed oddbods.
Dear Mr Tudor,
You’re description is way too kind haha
What scares me is that young impressionable minds believe in their false persona and in sincere crap.
Hi Bubbles:
I like Ariana as a singer but I thought she was a terrible actress. No emotion. Wooden. Did not listen and react. Compare her to the wicked witch who could act. I saw the show on broadway and LA. I felt the movie fell short. But when I was young. I took acting classes from Jeff Goldblum. I love him.
Bubbles, Cynthia Erivo’s reaction to the fan art where they changed the movie poster to look more like the theater poster put me on alert. She claimed it was the most offensive thing she’d ever seen and other hyperbole, and simply couldn’t separate herself from the character. To me, there was a lot of magical thinking and entitlement there. And there have been some things about Grande–I think she had an infidelity scandal with some actor in the movie, and there was the Donut Incident. A clear case of Abuse of Donuts Intended for Public Sale in my view. A filthy travesty. I’ve been trying to figure out what those two are myself. They cry and cry. They emote excessively. Every. Damn. Interview. Please make it stop.
I wasn’t part of the “Wicked” audience anyway.
Dear Allison,
Thank you for your comment Allison, most appreciated. Our son went to see Wicked….he’s totally obsessed with it. Cheere Denise on YT did a great video on the ‘Bizarre’ interview, worth a watch. Cheere did mention the poster incident and I thought “narc alert” right there. The interview was soo nauseating to watch, I felt like gagging haha
Yes, I read about Adrianna’s affair with Slater. The donut incident was disgusting. If she hates America and Americans so much……then leave ! I wouldn’t waste my money on either of them.
Both women are arrogant, conceited, opinionated, entitled and definitely full of ‘magical’ thinking and plenty of bull dust. As The Don would say, it’s all fake news….and that’s what narcs are ….all fake !!!!
I’ll stick to the original Wizard of Oz ! Haha
Ha Ha: “bull dust”. What about the poster incident clued you in? For me there were many things, but the first was that line in her post “to edit my face & hide my eyes is to erase me”. What? I may be a little sensitive right now because university life is so thickly saturated with this kind of narcissistic reasoning, i.e. lots of unfounded charges thrown around about “identity” and “erasure” to support accusations while shutting down thought. To my mind it’s just talk used to control other people instead of addressing real problems and actively working on self development. The way Erivo used it there seemed like she was glomming onto that type of empty “outrage” that’s so popular now to assert control without doing the hard work of actually engaging in substantive debates. She is not a serious person, nor is her weeping buddy. It struck me as a type of character acquisition, a wealthy elite person clocked in “the Black struggle”. Slumming for fashion.
Dear Allison,
Well said 🙌 Yes, not agreeing to model for the original poster was definitely grandiose entitlement. WTH ? I couldn’t believe what I was hearing!
Chuck in a huge dollop of “Wokeness” for sure !
Add expensive packets of “ozempic” and body morphia self image issues.
They both, in unison, said let’s do fake tears and whisper voices, that’ll get them going. Bloody hell ?!
For me, it’s being authentic, which they are definitely not ! No wonder all our young people are confused and easily swayed.
She would’ve also been pissed off at Grande cos she only received $1mil instead of the $15 Grande got for the movie …so she had a hissy fit and threw out all her anchors ⚓️ 😂
She should be careful, one day you’re the cock or the walk ….the next, a feather duster.
Contagious says “But I wonder if learning about narcissism makes you reticent to try again”
https://narcsite.com/2015/09/29/questioning-me/comment-page-18/#comment-458735
reading your whole comment, therein lies the answer to your question. Is it a combination of factors, leading you to instinctively be aware that a break is what you need – from relationships that ‘tie’ you to one particular person? You’re looking but you are not? Enjoy your freedom as well as being selective 🙂 Maybe it is the dog breed more than the men at present? 😉
lol yes Asp: my frenchies give non-stop unconditional love. I read May Musk’s book and she says she is happiest being single with family, friends and her soulmate, her dog! I am fine being single ( well, divorce not final) and I am just not ready. Time out! Yay! Thanks for the link! Best wishes always!
Thank you for your reply, Contagious. A dog is a loyal companion and I say that from experience. Yes, being single has it’s benefits. I’m pleased for you that you’re going for your freedom. Good on you, Contagious 🙂
“A dog is a loyal companion…”
I concur. If it weren’t for her manipulative nature my little widget would be perfect.
Dear Mr Tudor,
I just read your intro ‘About’ regrading your blog ‘Knowing the Narcissist’
I feel it’s self explanatory! Personally, I don’t see a problem regarding comments.
You step in where you deem necessary (you have and you do). The average lifespan of a blog is 2 years.
Congratulations and well done on your long standing successful achievement !
Thank you.
Hi HG!
I took the narc test for my ex. Dead on.
1. But does this test include psychopathy?
2. Is there a separate test in the works?
3. I do not quite get narcissistic psychopath. First are there psychopaths who are narcissistic but not narcissists?
4. Second, does psychopathy always supercede narcissism?
4. Does this mean that NO don’t rely on supply as much ?
5. Are there unaware psychopaths? I watched a movie by Robert Hare and the psychopaths are quite intelligent and convincing to me they were reformed listening to them. Yet, there is no hope. So are they aware or just at an act?
1. It does. If it is present it will be part of the results.
2. No.
3. Yes, Pure Psychopaths.
4. In what context?
5. Pure Psychopaths do no need feel (not supply, awful term, drop it)
6. Yes.
Interesting!
I didn’t think there would unaware psychopaths – I would have thought all knew they are different
Ok now I have a question HG so
The defence mechanism of narcissism makes most narcs unaware but what keeps a psychopath unaware? Are those psychopaths who also have a learning disability or something? Or is it that they just haven’t come across information on what psychopathy is for them to know that’s what they are?
It is linked to their cognitive function.
Hi HG:
My ex was diagnosed an anti-social. Nothing else. I don’t see narcissism at all myself. It’s another term for psychopath but I always lumped antisocial as your common criminals and psychopaths as your serial killers and megalomaniac rulers of companies and CEOs. You have used the term “ sophisticated” with psychopaths and I don’t see you using it with narcissists. Maybe that’s the separation word or category?
Questions on psychopathy….
1. Is part of your categorization of psychopaths: sophistication?
2. How do you categorize psychopaths?
I know there are narcissistic ones and pure ones, you have defined their goal seeking, lack of empathy, and accumulation. You have stated that they don’t feel fear the same.
2. But… you must have a more specific categorization ? My child evaluator at the time in a custody dispute indicated that not all antisocials are violent or kill etc… and to think of it like a spectrum. What spectrum?
3. Is it that diverse the types of psychopaths out there?
4. Can psychopathy be purely genetic. “ Born that way.”
5. Robert Hare is a leader on the topic and says there is a higher proportion of antisocial in the prison system ( where he did all of his work). Do you agree? I would assume as they don’t follow norms, rules or laws that would be true.
5. Finally are sexual sadists who rape and kill typically always psychopaths? What comes to mind is famous serial rapist/killers ie Bundy, Gacy, Kemper , Lopez, Ridgeway, Ramirez, Chikatilo.
6. Finally I have read that psychopathy is a lifestyle choice and not a mental illness. But it seems like some people just adopt traits, choose a criminal lifestyle for example even if they have empathy. Is psychopathic traits something you feel exists as a category like narcissistic traits? For example you think of the mob boss who commits theft etc… but is a loving dad and husband ( narrow circle where empathy applies). Traits.
I know that serial killers are popular subjects as they are obviously a tiny select few who shock … alien to most… but I am interested in the differences in psychopaths and while we know they are born with biological and genetic differences, whether the environmental background matters at all for some. Also I read somewhere 1 out of 3 are CEOs. Be interesting to see if true or whether these are narcissists, narcissistic psychopaths or pure psychopaths in your definition and why that matters. For example, a narcissist and narcissistic psychopath need fuel so they are attracted to having the masses adore them and of course ….the power and they go off leading a country ( the goal) BUT a pure psychopath doesn’t need that ( in fact in my opinion based on my marriage, it might annoy the PP) but they may still go on to lead a country to gain power. These are probably the worst brutalists.
6. Finally can a psychopath ever be satisfied? I feel that it’s a compulsion where even if one goal is attained, it’s never enough. Insatiable.
7. If I am right, why?
In my thoughts it’s like an internal B grading system. Oh! I got the A in this subject but now I MUST achieve an A in that subject. Let me apply as I am not enough, I feel empty, I must do more. Or I have a billion, I need 10 billion, oh I got 10 billion but so and so has more, I need more ( hoarding money and de-monetization in my humble opinion along the way…) Or I am a billionaire but I don’t have power, let me get into politics as my power in the corporate world has limits and so and so has more power than me. I need power. Let me fund a political candidate. Then they have both money and power but the compulsion for more never seems to end… until they die. I doubt psychopaths ever have a moment of peace… always striving, always DOING and some don’t even need fuel….but maybe only the sophisticated some…???
On another note, people say, you can’t take it with you ( hoarding money) but my daughter once said of her pure psychopath dad, “ some people are happier knowing it’s there. ( The need to accumulate). Interesting observation by my daughter.
My observation: it would rip up his insides to be cheated out of 1.00$ by another. He would rather not be cheated out of 1.00$ then to make $100,000. So something interferes more strongly internally than accumulation. At least with him. He is a die hard poker player.
Mr. Tudor–
1. How does the view of the psychopath compare/contrast dealing with narcissists vs empaths?
2. Is there a preference for which of your classifications would be preferable for leisure interaction/activities/puppeteering from self-aware psychopaths when they have a large network such as yourself?
Thank you so much for your time! Much appreciated!
1. The narcissist or empath will be viewed as against the satisfaction of The Necessary Triad.
2. See 1.
You know HG, I wrote about my ex a pure psychopath and how he would rather lose $100,000 then lose a $1.00 by being one upped. And I said it’s something else… it gets in front of losing a goal… I think it’s grandiosity. I think that matters a lot to a psychopath. They might be average in intelligence as the FBI says most serial killers are but they think they are geniuses. Smarter than police, smarter than everyone in the room. Even if they are not. Am I right?
Hi HG, I am watching a BBC story called inside My Akin based on a true story BBC 4, Bafta winner 2022. The poor kids totally screwed. The middle class pretty popular girl is the worst. She uses people spits them out. What intrigues me is the main character with a sick bipolar mum and loser alcoholic abusive dad. She is clearly a codependent. Dotes and cares for her mum despite her life.
My question: dad is a total narcissist but the mum is just sick. Empath corroded.
Could a person get empathy from a mentally ill parent? Serious issues/ in and out of hospitals sectioned?
Or could it be just a gene?
Empath can still exist with someone who is mentally ill.
Dear HG,
I was curious about Gypsy Rose and your opinion about what she is, Empath, Narc, Narcissistic or Normal? Please could you do an analysis on her? Xx
I have not analysed this person.
Mr. Tudor–
Dani: How does the view of the psychopath compare/contrast dealing with narcissists vs empaths?
HG: Satisfaction of the necessary triad.
Control, Stimulation, Accumulation.
1. What drives a psychopath into asserting control via withdrawal?
The first two assertions of control would be stimulating (seeing the responses of others) and in the case of Indirect control in a group setting…accumulation of more people.
You’re a narcissistic psychopath…you need the prime aims and Necessary Triad. Regarding the IPPS…
2. How is stale fuel related to lack of stimulation if at all? To my thinking…if you’re not being stimulated, you’re not getting fuel.
3. How does the cessation of residual benefit accumulation from an IPPS relate to the potential for disengagement (assuming all else is fine) but residual benefits were the main driver for selecting a particular IPPS?
Psychopaths generally…
4. How do psychopaths respond to “total control?” Is it a desirable state for a romantic relationship?
Thank you so much for your time! Much appreciated.
Mr. Tudor,
For Americans, Thanksgiving is a day to be thankful. Thank you for being my teacher and for giving me the gift of enlightenment. I’m incredibly thankful for you!
You are welcome, Leigh.
Dear HG and Leigh,
I completely feel the same and agree with Leigh here. Thank you for the knowledge you share with us, your work and this blog. Xx
Questions for dear HG:
1. What values do you believe are most important in life?
2. How do you define success?
3. Can you describe a time when you felt particularly proud of yourself?
4. How do you typically handle conflict with others?
5. What do you think drives your motivations or ambitions?
6. How do you perceive empathy in relationships?
7. What role do you think emotions play in decision-making?
8. How do you react when someone disagrees with your viewpoint?
9. Can you share how you typically view personal responsibility?
Thank you!
1. Depends on whose life you are referring to.
2. People have differing definitions of success based on their circumstances.
3. Yes.
4. Effectively.
5. The Prime Aims and the Necessary Triad.
6. As a tool for exploitation.
7. They lead to poor decision-making.
8. That depends on the circumstances.
9. Whose personal responsibility?
Dear Bubbles,
https://narcsite.com/2015/09/29/questioning-me/comment-page-18/#comment-458571
I am sorry that I missed your comment previously. It broke me to read what you say about having an MRI for further investigation. I do understand that it can be very scary / worrying. I also understand your “detest” at going to see dr / specialists, I do struggle myself in this aspect as I have to do / go there on my own (and deal with any news on my own too). It adds to the isolation. I may have found an avenue of support yet it is too early to gauge my trust (as you can imagine). I know it is wrong to approach with this ‘mindset’, it is only because of past experiences over a long period of time. It makes me sad yet I believe some people can understand my way of thinking (ET too).
Thank you for sharing your news. Thank you for listening. Bless you, Bubbles, love to you too 💕xx
Dearest Asp,
Thank you lovely Asp, it really saddens me that you have to experience aspects by yourself and with no support. I totally understand the trust issues. I don’t truly trust anyone, never have. We tend to self sabotage.
I made a comment to Mr Tudor about ‘lone wolf empaths’, I think it’s still in moderation.
I have felt like a ‘lone wolf’ all my life. Even those who are close to me, still do not understand what we have gone thru or are going thru. That’s why Mr Tudor’s blog is so unique, as we can relate and share same same, but different, where no one else understands.
It’s imperative we have a voice, albeit, minute, trivial or huge. HE gives us a voice, where no one else does !
I’m at the age dear Asp, I don’t give a flying fiddle anymore and am not prepared to waste my precious time stressing anymore. Life is to enjoy, be happy, be kind, love Mother Nature and animals.
My first son has a cute floof ball dog I babysit heaps, he gives me so much joy and unconditional love.
I’m not worrying about my MRI results, my brain has been stuffed up all my life haha.
Que sera sera as they say
Love to you gorgeous, you’re not alone, take care, you are worth it 🥰xx
Dear Bubbles, I agree with your words about the space to speak, the availability & existence of KTN blog. I understand what you mean about not worrying. Thank you for listening and for your words, Bubbles. Love to you too xx
Dear Asp,
Apparently, it appears I have a brain tumour … benign atm, however, has the potential to turn cancerous cos it’s grown. There you go !
Moral of the story …..don’t have a fall haha
Dear Bubbles,
I hope you heal quickly from your fall and I’m sorry you were injured. Please let us know how you are doing. Xx
Dearest Bubbles, I am truly bereft for you, Mr Bubbles and your family at your news. Do you know whether it is operable, or managed through some medicational methods? Do not feel you have to answer these questions as they are so personal and probably very difficult at this stage. I’m struggling to find the words to offer support as this is a very different scenario and all I can say is that I am truly sorry that you are experiencing this after a long while of other difficulties in your life. You have my support & love xxx
Dear Bubbles,
Oh dear. I’m so sorry. Are there options for treatment? I’m holding you in the light.
Oh dear Bubbles! You sweet soul! So sorry to hear you have a brain tumor. Now, I am praying and hoping it is treated and it becomes behind you. I have a friend who did and she had it cut out but with roots with the potential of cancer ? It could return. It never did 10 years later. My close doctor good friend, a surgeon said it depends on the type but many can live a full healthy long life! I wish with my entire heart that is YOU! I will pray for you tonight. Hugs hugs hugsxxxx
Dear Rebecca, Asp Emp, Allison and Contagios,
Thank you all so much for your extremely kind words, thoughts and support, your warmth shines thru.
At this stage it has been suggested I have an MRI every 6 months … easy !
I have dizziness from the concussion, however it’s slowly getting better. I know a lady who just had a fall and had bleeding on the brain, she’s good now. Another ended up a paraplegic. I consider myself fortunate and blessed that I’m still here hehe 😝
A little lump in the brain is nothing compared to head trauma from narcs, just saying !!! Haha (plus I have Mr Bubbles to look after)
Thank you again gorgeous ones, you are all truly beautiful caring souls xx 😘
Hi Bubbles,
So sorry to hear about your recent health problems, and about the tumour.
I’ve only just seen this conversation and others regarding your fall, wrist and medical tests. You have had a rough time of it lately, dear Bubbles.
I’m very sorry to hear you have a tumour. It’s the kind of news that no-one sees coming or wants to hear.
Look on the bright side, Bubbles. It’s benign, which is a very positive sign. Although it has grown, it has been discovered by the doctors now, while benign. Considering everything, that is a blessing.
Medical tests and appointments can be tedious and annoying. It’s tempting to avoid them, however it’s very important to undergo tests whenever you can. Forewarned is forearmed.
From experience, I know the doctors here in Aus are very good and they take any form of tumour very seriously. There’s probably a team of them looking at your specific case and considering the best way to proceed. You need to put your trust in them and believe they have your best interests at heart. They will look after you and assist you in knowing what to do and how to take care of yourself.
Look after yourself, Bubbles. It sounds like you’re taking it in your stride and you’re not stressing. That’s really good to hear. Take it easy and enjoy yourself. The floof ball dog you babysit sounds like a cutie. Give him a pat from me. And keep commenting here when you can. It’s always a joy to hear from you.
Best wishes to you, Bubbles. I will think positive thoughts for you 🙂
Oh my gosh, Bubbles. I’m so very sorry to hear this. Do you know next steps? I’m sending well wishes and positive thoughts.
Holding you and Mr Bubbles in fond thought. I am so glad that you have each other.
NA
Dear Bubbles,
I hope you have a very Merry Christmas! Take care of yourself and Mr Bubbles. Xx
Merry Christmas to HG and everyone on the blog! Xx
Dear Bubbles, so sorry to read your diagnosis, thoughts are with you. Please keep us posted as you’re able. 💕🌸🤗<-hug
Dearest NarcAngel and A Victor,
You’re both too kind, thank you!
Always lovely to hear from you NarcAngel, any updates regarding your sister and how are you these days ?
A Victor, I’m like a mallee bull, conditioned to survive difficult situations….no holding me back haha
Love to you both 💕xx
Dearest Leigh,
Many thanks lovely for your kind sentiments.
My next step is to, keep going, I’m like an eveready battery haha
I’m not a pill popper, nor do I have faith in doctors. I would never consider having a biopsy nor chemo. I tend to do what I feel is best for me and my body. I’m very rarely sick, I walk everyday and I eat fresh home cooked meals, hardly any processed foods. A minor hiccup will never hold me back haha
I’ve still got too much living and learning to do gorgeous 🥳xx
Dearest Bubbles,
I love your positivity! Positive thoughts and energy really do go a long way! I don’t have much faith in doctors either. I often think their diagnoses are just crapshoots that they often get wrong. I’m sending positive thoughts your way! I know you’ve got this!
Dearest WiserNow,
Thank you thank you thank you so much for your heartwarming sentiments, you’re too kind.
Yes, I definitely agree, our doctors, hospitals, staff and paramedics in Oz are amazing. I’m well n truly in good hands.
I didn’t expect the response I have received. I was answering Asp Emp on how I was (I think) toomah !!!! 🧠 Haha I’m very humbled!
I’m back to doing everything as before, however, I still have some aftermath concussion symptoms, slowly getting better.
What I love about all of us, is that, we are survivors! A little medical set back doesn’t compare to what we have all endured. What ever happens, we are winners !
Hope all is well with you WiserNow 🥰
You’re very welcome, Bubbles. Thank you very much for your lovely message. You’re a sweet soul, you’re always so cheerful and humorous.
I’m well, thank you. Hope you are too.
It’s been a few years since we have been on the blog and we have gotten to know each other. So when I learned of your recent medical setbacks, I felt worried for you, Bubbles. Please take care of yourself.
It’s good to hear that you’re back to doing things as before. Take it easy as you recover. Sometimes if we think we’re getting better, we can get a little cavalier about things and overdo it. One step at a time. I hope you continue to feel better 🙂
Yes, I know what you mean regarding what we have endured. It’s something that literally never leaves you. It makes me wonder how life must be for people who have never gone through it.
Stay well, Bubbles, and best wishes to Mr Bubbles too 🙂
Mr. Tudor–
1. How do higher functioning psychopaths react to sudden changes of plans compared to lower functioning psychopaths? Is that a threat to control? e.g. You planned to take an IPSS to a Depeche Mode concert, and at the last minute (two days prior), they call and say they can’t make it.
2. What primary factors, if any, influence the psychopath’s response to the change of plans?
3. How variable are levels of cognitive empathy amongst psychopaths and how does it relate to their general intelligence? Virginia McCullough…she demonstrated cognitive empathy when she said, “I know it’s gruesome.” However, she didn’t strike me as the most evolved (as you say) type of psychopath out there.
4. Does the narcissist or the psychopath bounce back more quickly after a victim changes plans?
5. How do psychopaths and/or self-aware narcissists respond to a victim “testing” them? Do they sense it in a way?
6. What are generally safe tests for empaths to gather data as a relationship becomes more serious if they are potentially dealing with a narcissist or psychopath? Can an empath shake things up by making a change to “Date night”–needing it to be Saturday instead of Thursday on short notice? Will it make a difference if it’s the Golden/Bronze Period? What manipulations would be expected from the UL, the midrange, a greater, or the Ultra as a response to this sudden change? Is it more likely to be benign or malign?
Thank you so much for your time. Much appreciated.
The coffee club attitude here has reached a level where I pity any new reader who may be desperately trying to get their question even noticed, never mind answered amid the flood of minutiae. HG has a job to do with sifting through it all. In my opinion, it is not fair to be using him and his time like a personal messaging board. Surely it must be getting very close to a tipping point.
Hi, AP. Spin a topic! I’m game and curious.
The obvious topic for me would be “The Virtues of Keeping Your Mouth Shut”, or the older version, si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses.
Hi, AP–
I wouldn’t say I’m a philosopher, but I make a concerted effort to improve my critical thinking skills and logic. I find that I need to put in a lot of work on that due to personal and social factors, but I don’t mind. I enjoy the struggle.
I need others who will struggle with me and that’s what I find on the blog in relation to the particular area of being an empath and experiencing narcissism up close and personal. I can’t know my blindspots on my own, and people who will engage with me are a real help. I’m very aware these days of the statistical probability that someone I’m engaging with might be an empath, normal, or narc, and what I do is keep my scanner open, file evidence, allow things to take time to develop, and just generally take care of myself. I’m wary, but not timid. I feel less afraid these days of them because I know, should I run into trouble, I have HG and certain friends on this blog who can set me right. And I also have lots of normal and some empathic friends in my real life for mutual support. I do keep my mouth shut when I should, mostly. Especially so around unserious people.
I remember when I first came to the blog I was enchanted. It was like a little salon, a library, and at times a three ring circus with HG cracking the whip as needed. I enjoy and benefit from reading the intimate lives of other empaths and getting to know them and myself better. True, I do feel a bit nervous sometimes about posting because I fear I may be off topic, but I trust HG to keep me in line and he’s an excellent moderator. Still, I never want to bore him but he’s ultimately in control of the blog and of himself. And I’m under control as well which provides a unique sort of comfort.
I trust HG. I trust him with me. If I’m willing to trust him with my most important possession (myself), I can surely trust him to run his blog as he sees fit. He knows it better than I do. He knows us, new and long time commentators. If I found it to be a welcoming and beneficial space in the beginning–and that feeling has only grown–I know it was and is because of his understanding of how to moderate us, when to correct us, when to encourage us to expand upon things or question him, when to play with us, and when to get us to keep our mouths shut.
Of course, if you wish to expand upon the relevant material you mentioned from The Knowledge Vault, I’m always eager to engage.
Vive la résistance. Holster the whip.
Allison,
thank you for the invitation. Possibly the only topic I would be any use for would be How to be uninteresting to narcs. At least that has been the case from my experience so far. But I cannot claim that as any great feat, it just seems to be the way I happen to be built and/or raised. The other option is that I have never met or gotten close enough to any narcissists to test any potential attraction.
I do not have a very empathic perspective, so what is interesting to many readers here often differs from what is interesting to me.
As for HG’s moderation, far be it from me to question his skills in that regard. But there are other reasons why it would be advantageous for him to indulge the commenters here, reasons outside of the content and atmosphere of the blog conversation.
Hey Allison:
You say you are more cautious with others. I have found I am allergic lately to all men. Most likely because I am going through a divorce after 12 years but even so we were not living together for the last 5. BUT I wonder if because of narcissism, I am reluctant. Or because for all but two years since I was 16, I have been in a long term relationship. I don’t know. I hope I am not putting off relationships forever as I have had many good long term relationships with wonderful men. I just don’t date this year. But in the past year f I meet someone and … well somehow 5-9 years go by. I never used a dating app. But I am running from men. This good looking age appropriate Frenchman who is friends with good neighbors heard me talking French to my dogs and asked me to pickleball. I couldn’t make more excuses and leave fast enough. Today this gorgeous man at the dog park age appropriate kept looking at me and smiling. He owns a frenchie. I knew he wanted to talk and went to the opposite side of the park. Maybe I am not ready. I feel good. I don’t feel loyal to my soon to be ex either. But I wonder if learning about narcissism makes you reticent to try again. I hope not. ??? I would hate to think he had any part of my future.
I would imagine if HG minded, he would interject and say so. After all, he is the sole controller/ moderator of this blog.
He has. Not of his own and unprovoked, but there was a comment about the deluge of comments unrelated to the topic and the possibility of HG ending the blog because of it some time ago from NarcAngel, if memory serves, where he answered people should pay heed to what she had written (it must have been on another thread though, I have not been able to find it quickly).
It does not seem to have helped a lot.
Thank you for explaining further. I think unless this sentiment is made into a blog article and repeated ever so often, things will likely remain the same.
Hello Anna, I might be mistaken, but I’ve got a feeling, HG is bored. Probably, all our fuel became stale for him. Our stories, questions, reactions are pretty much all the same to him by now. 9 years – it’s a lot. I’m surprised he is still here, actually. Maybe he needs new ideas, projects or just a break. So he might close this blog soon, anyway. I hope he would leave his articles in place.
Hello 43tm,
I do not think a dirth of ideas or projects is going to be a problem any time soon, on the contrary, the difficulty will be which ones to prioritise.
But you are right, boredom is the constant enemy HG fights. And while our stories will often be things he has heard before, if we are addressing him and talking to or about him, he gets a proverbial pat on the back (no danger of literal pats, or cheek-pinching, or other “horrors” here) and a minuscule drop of fuel out of it at least. When we, however, recount in great detail the latest pet story or movie that has nothing to do with him, not only is it a sure way to bore him, not only does he not get the tiniest droplet of fuel, not only is he left out of the conversation, but it also uses up time and resources he might otherwise have to answer more questions, or to write a new article, create a video and so on.
In addition, it can make it more difficult for readers to actually find the information they are looking for or, unlikely worst case, potentially turn people away from the blog. Such a mass of fantastic information is contained in the questions and comments that has not yet made it into articles or videos, it exists solely because some inquisitive reader has teased it out of HG. But in order to reach the right people, they have to be able to find it, and every page of friendly correspondence makes that harder.
Hello Anna and CSW:
I am guilty of having verged off topic at times. HG is good at not posting or moderating his blog. I know this. And I get your point. However, you get to know fellow bloggers when they not only share very intimate stories ( so brave) about hurts or harms from narcissism ( and some like me have been engaged with a psychopath), but alas joke and share about their lives. Yes, it can be “coffee club” at times but that’s what you want in some ways. It’s like watching a sport, or reading a favorite author series, or following a band over time, you get to know the specific players, the characters, the musicians or bloggers and their comments put what they are saying into meaning when over time you know their background and where they are coming from. Some are poets. Some are incredibly educated. Some are so funny! HG is the best. Often so often I wish I could meet them in person. I have a COMMUNITY here, and my only hope is every blogger who joins feels included in it… both of you.! That’s my hope is everyone is part of this community to learn, to laugh, to cry, but most of all to support one and another while we learn and grow. It’s students in a virtual classroom really. I wish HG would host a Tudors in person event. I picture a Venetian masquerade in London! Where he actually appears un-noticed but we get to meet each other in person or ….a meet and greet online where we buy tickets. I truly value each and everyone of you on here. You have provoked my thoughts, challenged me, supported me and made me laugh! Even the occasionally narcs that pop up and go, I appreciate spotting them.
So YES staying on topic is very important … but a community is a community for best value on the topic. Every blogger here is a member of that community new or old and every voice matters to me! And I think we must make an effort to welcome newcomers and support them and recommend HG’s Knowledge vault. I always go for the throat so to speak, consult, consult, consult while we still can! This message was not meant to be adversary as you are right…. but in part…, there is a balance. While I can do better and have tried to not deviate too far into personal interests, keeping a warm welcoming inclusive supportive community is key! Never throw the baby out with the bath water!. HG is quite apt at handling HIS followers:) And I appreciate both of you as part of it all:)
Hi Contagious,
I appreciate your words but I think there has been a slight misunderstanding. My first comment was in response to Anna’s post. She kindly explained further and so my second response was suggesting that if there is a potential issue then perhaps a blog article needs to be created to outline this and put on repeat so often. I have no issues nor is it my place to say how everyone should interact, how often or on what topics. I am happy here. I am happy with my level of interaction here.
I’ve also seen the ready support of the blog readers for each other. It is lovely that this is a safe space for many and I hope that it continues to be so.
I did not intend for my comments to suggest otherwise.
Oh how I love a well placed example of irony.
Hello Contagious,
the joking and sharing is not at all a problem per se, as long as it does not damage the credibility of the information and HG’s standing as an expert – I am not saying that it does, this is just a general point. But when it reaches a critical mass where you can get the impression that all the new comments in a day are, at best, loosely related to the topic of Knowing the Narcissist or even totally unrelated, it does not enhance the experience for those who are not part of that particular conversation. And what is worse, it makes some pages practically unreadable, not to mention the time and effort anybody has to invest who is actually looking for answers to a question. On some threads there is so much back-and-forth and exchange of what are basically private matters that it overwhelms the information on narcissism. It is all a question of volume and the right measure. The blog is named Knowing the Narcissist for a reason, it is not Knowing All the Empaths Here, and while many come here for emotional support, the main content for me should remain the information. The blog is a living encyclopedia.
I try to remind myself that every comment here takes up HG’s time. This applies equally to the ones that do not actually involve or interest him in the slightest degree and also those which never get published at all. He has set himself the task of reading every single one, so I try not to clutter his moderation queue too much.
Dear Contagious–
Thank you for the support. She was a heartbreak from the early 2000s. I was just using that experience as an example and the memory only stings when I laugh. I spend no time at all concerning myself with the fates of her paramours. That’s a wasteland for an empath.
That was only a remembered pain. I’m about 10 months post escape from my last mistake so I’m gently testing the romantic waters again with a strong mind and ruddy health. In fact, I spent some time Saturday in the sweet embrace of a new, very succulent Ukrainian lady. Doing my bit for world peace. I’ll be just fine.
Hi, Contagious–
“…I wonder if learning about narcissism makes you reticent to try again.”
I think I’m appropriately cautious now. After all, it’s been just under a year since escape and there’s still so much for me to learn. I use the Quick Calm: I Won’t Meet Anybody Normal when I feel anxious, and for the many (so many!) months prior to now I’ve been celibate. Sure, this is a time of heightened sensitivity for me but I’m fortified now and less emotionally reactive. I’m meeting more girls now who don’t give me that instant, urgent euphoria I tend to feel upon first knowing narcissists who might be sex partners–everything is just a nice slow burn without any haste. I’m focusing on myself and letting things develop while paying attention to my gut. I’ve got Red Flag and Black Flag for guidance. If I have questions about someone in particular I have HG to help me in consultation. I’m not completely immobilized anymore by fear about seeking intimacy again because I have access to excellent logic and effective analysis. And I’m no longer trying to be someone I’m not.
I think you’re referring to these comments:
NA’s comment
https://narcsite.com/2022/05/11/59990/#comment-453640
Mr. Tudor’s response
https://narcsite.com/2022/05/11/59990/#comment-453670
Yes, Leigh, thank you very much for digging it up, that was exactly what I was thinking of.
Hello all. I don’t like to get in the way. But interesting group of people here worth chatting with, much more so than most other fandoms.
Violently allergic to X and FB. Adult daughter keeps waving me off Tumblr even though it’s the only one she’ll engage. Tolerating YouTube for the time being but unfortunately suspect Google isn’t far behind X and I’ll be exiting that arena sooner rather than later. Willing to give Bluesky a try until it’s algorithms mature.
Happy Thanksgiving Week to my fellow Americans. Take care all.
Hi Niffty,
I agree with you and Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate the holiday! Xx
To you, too, Rebecca, Niffty and all! I just had a lovely Piesgiving last night. Enjoy your week.
AP,
I’ll bite. Whose not talking about narcissism or psychopathy? Whose coffee clatching? Can you point us to a discussion where they’re not discussing narcissism or psychopathy?
Hi Leigh,
I think my Terminator comments can be looked at as off topic, but to me narcs are like Terminators in how they think and act and the more advanced narcs, like Greaters and Ultra, are like Terminators with their chips set to “learning mode” so they know more cognitive empathy and act more like normals and empaths, than the narcs they are. Terminators are an infilterating machine, they gain entrance into society, target their victims and complete their missions, their prime aims. It’s obvious how they act alike. Narcs are human Terminators and the Ultra is T-1000. Xx
Not known for staying in the lane I started in myself, but generally veer back when I hit the rumble strips.
I thought coffee klatches were the entire point of comment sections. A flood of minutiae everpresent.
@Anna
You’re right! I hope I’m not too guilty of this because erm… some of these long arse comments of late in this thread are doing my head in
@Witch,
you’re not alone. Especially when you’re reading on a phone and if it is the third or fourth degree of answering, so the WordPress layout shows only a few words per line, you scroll and scroll and scroll and there is still no end in sight – it’s almost like a taste of purgatory.
Hi, AP–
“From an evolutionary perspective sexual infidelity is such a big deal because of the possibility of creating children.”
Not to put down evolution, but it hurt like hell when my girl had sex with other women. It cut me deeply. Even her rampant flirting affected me. A woman cheating on me was one of the most awful, gut wrenching experiences I’ve ever had. The image of her being emotionally and physically intimate with someone else made me sick. It broke my heart.
Hey Allison if it helps cheaters are cheaters. They never change. Just know the new girl will suffer. My friend led college roommate cheated on every man she met. When she got married, she introduced me to her lover. When she had been married and had 3 kids, two severely autistic, she said I can’t stop cheating and I worry I will lose everything. I finally asked her “ why?” She paused and said it’s always like something is missing. And when I cheat it feels like I have the upper hand. I replied what upper hand? It’s not a fair playing field, you aren’t winning. She said she didn’t know. I said you feel something is missing, does that missing part get filled in when you cheat? She said “ no, I feel more empty.” I don’t know if this helps but sharing! X
Hi Contagious,
“Cheaters are cheaters. They never change.” I’m a serial cheater. I met my husband as a young teenager. I cheated shortly after I met him and throughout my early 20s. I know. I shouldn’t have married him. Part of the reason I cheated on him back then was because he offended my pride and that’s how I got back at him. In my mid twenties, I decided to stop cheating. I think this is one of those times that my guardian angel took over. I had been faithful for aboit 8 months and found out I was pregnant. At that moment, I decided it was no longer about me and I would concentrate on raising my child. I was faithful for 20 years. Then I met workplace narc and he showed me all the things I was missing in my marriage and an affair ensued. It ended over 5 years ago.
I agree that most cheaters will always cheat. I also believe that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. I also believe if it’s a narc that’s cheating, he’ll cheat again. But what empaths and normals that are capable of reflection and change?
I’ve come to realize that the reason I cheat is because i crave intimacy and I don’t have that with my husband. With my husband it was just sex. No communication, no connection, no intimacy. If I have true intimacy and could actually have a real conversation with a man, I’d be faithful.
One last thing, cheating is usually a symptom of a much bigger problem.
Hi Contagious,
I cheated on my first husband but never did on my second. I learned from that first experience that doing so was a bad idea. And I changed.
My second ex, on the other hand, as a narc, cheated before we had been together a few months and never stopped. Narc cheaters don’t change.
Hi, AP–
I’d like you to help me tease some things apart. Are you saying that sexual infidelity affects some people so strongly mainly because of our biological urge to reproduce? If that’s the case, what activates the negative reaction to infidelity sans the possibility of children? Is the human reproductive drive so completely cemented to sex? If so, why can human females be receptive to and eager for sexual congress outside their fertile periods? Why is so much sexual activity non-procreative?
Sometimes I do make too much of our primate nature, but I actually think there’s evidence of more going on. I suspect we’re not just great apes in suits, James Corden notwithstanding.
So, my thoughts: I think men and women differ in their sexual behavior in a broad sense because we tend to behave a bit like our gametes, but I don’t think that entirely explains why infidelity exists as a concept or why it can be emotionally painful. From a population level, evolutionary perspective you cite I don’t see how biology ‘cares’ beyond getting enough genetic variation passed on; 18 years of care is a culturally bound distinction. But have I understood you?
Hi Allison,
I do not see that there is any great relation to narcissism detectable in my answer and it is rather long, but if HG tolerates it (no offence taken if you do not, HG, unless of course you would want me to take offence, in which case I will be duly and deeply offended), here goes:
I believe it is not so much the urge to reproduce as the investment you make and the risk you take when you select a mate to have children with. That investment is exponentially larger for women than men. Of course 18 years is just our reality now, the exact time span people are held responsible for their children changes. But for a woman, there is at least the duration and associated risks of pregnancy to begin with, as well as the long-term health risks, while the father can go off on his merry way without a care in the world. And then she will still be held most responsible for raising that pathetic helpless baby until the child can stand on their own two feet. Women do not have the luxury of producing children without any awareness of the fact. Usually everybody around them will know months before the birth that a baby is on its way just by looking; everybody thinks it is alright to impart whatever wisdom they think they possess on how the expectant mother should eat, sleep and otherwise behave; depending on where you live, women lose the right to make life-or-death decisions about themselves from the moment they are known to be pregnant; and after the pregnancy, when the woman’s shape changes without a baby being presented, everybody knows that there must be something out of the ordinary going on.
This is why women often place a higher value on sexual fidelity than men. They have a lot more to lose. And it is also why women were traditionally (and sensibly) more careful in vetting their sex partners. The concept of fidelity itself would plausibly originate from the expectation that, if you get to pass your genes on by creating children with a partner, you in turn commit to sticking around long enough to care for said offspring.
Interestingly, for men, heterosexual activity in the sense of vaginal intercourse that ends in an orgasm IS always, always procreative. For men, orgasm always carries the risk of a pregnancy, whereas women can have as many orgasms as they want without any connection to getting pregnant. We can have an orgasm with a man and not get pregnant, or we can not have an orgasm and get pregnant. (No idea if there are any studies on a link between female orgasm and the impregnation rate.) We have the orgasm just for fun, while for men, as long as they do not take certain steps to outwit nature, like somebody we know, the fun always comes with that risk. Even if he orgasms outside the woman’s body, you can still use the sperm to create a child.
Maybe this is nature’s way of rewarding women for the burden of childbearing. If the sex was no fun and we had the additional prospect of carrying a bowling ball around, a ball that will then need looking after, have his excretions taken care of and so on, humans would probably have gone extinct long ago.
Regarding the negative reaction to infidelity sans the possibility of children, my best guess, and it is a guess, is that this is due to the fact that any measures that prevent pregnancy are relatively recent products of culture and civilisation. Our brains are not yet wired to process them. The basic biology has not changed for hundreds of thousands of years at least. I think our brains simply do not factor a little detail such as the fact that a particular act of sexual infidelity will not result in children into the reaction to it.
I do not know if there is any distinguishable difference in the reaction to sexual infidelity in same-sex relationships, but if there is not, as you allude to in your other post https://narcsite.com/2015/09/29/questioning-me/comment-page-18/#comment-458686, it might link to this basic programming.
There was an advert for the New York Times or some other paper some time ago, where a guy was reading the paper and a fly was bothering him. So he swatted the fly with his paper. Hard. He crushed the fly on the table. Problem solved. The catch was, he had been reading on an iPad. The fly was totally annihilated, but so was the iPad.
I imagine this could be a similar situation. We have a preprogrammed reaction to infidelity, but our lives have changed so much in a relatively short time that this reaction does not quite fit anymore.
Hi AP,
In all seriousness, for me, its about having a place where I can talk about narcissism and how its affected me. Mr. Tudor has opened our eyes and widened our view and has given us a space to freely speak about it without judgement. So often when I talk about narcissism, people look at me like I have ten heads. That doesn’t happen here. Its wonderful to be able to have a conversation with someone who really understands. I know sometimes I might ramble on too much but I can’t help it because I finally feel like I fit in somewhere. I finally feel like people get me.
That’s so lovely, Leigh.
Back in April, HG was asked if he would put effort into finding out a potential IP’s fears and he responded, “It never takes a lot of effort, it is the second greatest urge to confess to another.”
From your observations, what do you think people (online and off) most wish to confess to others?
Mr. Tudor–
Thank you so much for the This/That. It was a delight.
1. Would you please elaborate about the context and your choice of “insults being laughed off” when put against “Flattery being questioned? (I put that one forward.)
Thank you so much for your time! Much appreciated!
Flattery being questioned denotes disinterest as most people like to be flattered. Disinterest begets boredom and thus is to be avoided. Laughing an insult off is invariably false bravado which means that there is a shell of bravery ready to be pierced which is much more entertaining.
Thank you, sir. Regarding “Flattery being questioned denotes disinterest as most people like to be flattered.”
1. If a strong emotion accompanies the flattery being questioned, is false bravado still more entertaining to you than suspicion?
Thank you so much for your time. Much appreciated.
Yes.
Thank you, sir. Much appreciated.
Mr. Tudor,
1. What conversational opportunities are more entertaining than puncturing false bravado?
2. What if the person who laughed is just that good-natured that they can laugh at themself or add to the comedy of your insults?
Thank you so much for your time. Much appreciated!