A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 24


Dear Narc,

No It isn’t a typo! It is the name I call you now! Please don’t try to understand it, you never will ! Even if you do know what a narcissist is, you would never believe you are one!
This letter is very difficult for me to write, not because I still have feelings for you! Actually it is the opposite, I feel nothing for you!! I have to admit you did a number on me! You hurt me both mentally and physically! You took the little bit of confidence I had in myself and destroyed it and if that wasn’t enough, you smeared my name, you used the pictures that you and I had taken in private and showed it to people convincing them that I was stalking you, that I was crazy!
You made me feel so ashamed and embarrassed! I couldn’t hold my head up any more!! You destroyed and broke me!! Knowing that should make you feel quite powerful indeed!  To me you are pathetic!
Why did you do it?! Don’t answer that! I know why you did it! You were afraid that I would tell people what you were hiding inside of you all your life! You were afraid that your family would be ashamed of you, that your new women wouldn’t want anything to do with you!
You did what you thought you had to do to protect yourself! But you see I would have never hurt you in that way! That is not what I do to people who I care about! I used the word care because I did care about you! What I realize now is that I never loved you! I liked the attention you gave me,  I even thought it was love at one time, not anymore!
It took me hitting rock bottom and actually wanting to take my own life to find the help, knowledge, and support that I needed! No I didn’t end up at a shrink’s office! I found a man and a group of people that got me through it! He is an amazing man and a wonderful writer and teacher!
The group is just like me! They are wonderful,compassionate, loving people who were hurt by people just like you! Shake your head and call me crazy all you want! The truth is you are a narcissist! Actually a mid range narcissist! Lol that should hurt! You are not even the best narc you can be! There is a group above you! But again you will never believe or understand this!
You have a pattern that I have figured out! You will marry this woman and she will have your child, just like your other two wives did! And just like your other two wives did, she will wait until you are away and she will leave you!!
Once again you will ( in your eyes ) be the victim! Poor you who has done so much for her! Once again you will be on the hunt! Warning to you! Do not try to contact me ever again! I am done with you! I have found myself again and nobody will ever hurt me again! I have seized the power that you so desperately crave! Ironic isn’t it?! I think it’s hilarious! LMFAO!
Good bye!

77 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 24

  1. K says:

    Your words mirror exactly how I feel about this site.
    “The group is just like me! They are wonderful,compassionate, loving people who were hurt by people just like you!”

    HG’s posts and advice, as well as, comments from you and everyone else has really helped me, too. Although, the abuse has been horrific this part of the journey has been terrific and I am happy that we are in it together and I am happy that you never found your way to a shrink’s office. I am very sorry about the rock bottom part; no one should go through that and I felt very sad for you. You ended your letter on a defiant note and I found that very uplifting.Thank you.

  2. Emily Lancer says:

    Foolme1time, your story seems similar to mine, it went a little further on but it blows my mind how all this is out there and I never knew about it and the pattern is the same. I have spoken to few people about what happened to me, and only my councillor and HG in detail. It makes me sound mad I think. But I did open up to two women. They are in a similar professional field as myself and both have similar stories. Both knew exactly what I was talking about and excepted my story with kind eyes and a knowing look. Both used the term Narc. I never knew personality disorders were so prevalent but unrecognisable.

    1. Fool me 1 time says:

      Emily this is why we are so drawn in! The not knowing. I never knew about any of this until I found HG! I think that is another reason it is so easy for them to make us believe we are the ones that are crazy! Stay here with HG and the rest of us and you to will some day seize the power!😘

  3. E says:

    HG. Everyone is waiting for your interpretation of those letters but still none. Me personally think that there will be no comments on those letters as those letters should be not sent at all. I know, in the past I have sent a few. He responded only to my emotional letters, the rest of emails have been ignored. If I would go back in time, I wouldn’t write him a single word but we all learn.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      They will be provided, but they will be provided all at the same time.

      1. Yolo says:

        Thanks for responding HG,

        Of course, Horses for courses. I enjoy playing the puppeteer. 😊But, I struggle with guilt afterwards. 😣 After reading “legitimate targets”, I felt a bit of excitement. Empathy from H.G 😊🙏a break through. The ability to imagine how others feel. Identify wrongdoings and assist those that are vying for your kindness and help.😍 I can dream.

  4. Mercy says:

    Funny that so many identified with that one phrase about only being a midranger. I’ve often thought that it would kill my mid range narc to know he’s not the best at something.

    This is a great letter! It’s sad what so many have had to endure from the narc because of the paranoia of being exposed. I have witness it but never been on the receiving end…i think it’s because I have too much information that would destroy him.

    I’m sorry you had to go through that but so glad you have siezed the power!!

    1. Tappan Zee says:

      I feel like I am in a sci-fi movie. My life. This blog. And I don’t do sci if. Never could get the plots. Anyhow I also used to think women (mostly) here giving applause to HG were posturing and kissing ass (sorry my bad) but now I feel privileged and honored to be in the presence of such power THAT HELPS US. Yes. Beyond weird to say, think and feel that. We are behind the curtain of Oz. Privy to so much information I can not comprehend.

      1. K says:

        This site is better than Quantico.

      2. NarcAngel says:


        Glad to see I have been recategorized from ass kiss lol.

  5. Peaceful says:

    Awesome letter Fool Me One Time! Thank you for writing it! I love this…” I met a man….. and a group just like me….” That is an awesome statement! We all met a very special man who is waking us up. And a beautiful group to relate to!

    1. Fool me 1 time says:

      Thank you Peaceful! I don’t comment a lot but I am always here reading the comments of others. I would not still be here if it weren’t for HG and all the others on this blog! They all will forever hold a special place in my heart! Stay strong everyone and seize the Power!! !! 🌹😘xxx

      1. Jenna says:

        Aww we love u too FM1T. I love all the support frm everyone here. This place is truly unique. 💗

      2. E. B. says:

        I am glad that you are here, FM1T.

      3. nikitalondon says:

        Hi there FM1T

        Glad you are doing well!!!! Yes this blog is definetly something in our lives. Like a class chat with people you know well.
        2 years ago i met a girl on a Narc abuse FB Group that I left short after, as i think those FB group are useless.. and some weeks ago she wrote me a messenger text and told me she still comments and reads HG. I referred her to this blog and I did not remember 😂😂. She has move forward but still thinks about her ex. 😷😷🤧
        I have joined some FB groups instead where pepple seek peace and love and I made a referral to the emotional battle blogs.. Its so nice to read about people moving forward. 🤗🤗. Have a lovely weekend.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Thank you for referring people Nikita and always good to hear from you.

  6. kimmichaud1 says:

    Cool letter I’m sorry I had to laugh when u called hg an amazing man he is amazing in many ways because he is in so many ways by providing us with his insight on this free blog and YouTube channel but the irony made me laugh because a narcissist is helping us with narcissists lol

    1. HG Tudor says:

      One can be both a narcissist and amazing, it is not mutually exclusive.

      1. Fool me 1 time says:

        So true amazing man, so true!! 😂 xxx

      2. Kim michaud says:

        One could say if your a narcissist then u MUST be amazing according to your self anyway lol anyway for intelligence knowledge writing ability persistence pace patience skill humor you get a ten plus empathy and compassion minus 0 you should really develop those skills then you’d be the perfect man I take it back u have empathy and compassion u just took them and encapsulated them into a rock and placed them into the dark recesses of your brain

      3. ROBIN BRUSO says:

        Indeed haha

      4. DebbieWolf says:

        Of course amazing…thats why we fall for em Amazingly wonderful…
        Amazingly terrible…

      5. Caroline says:

        Well, you are absolutely “amazingly narcissistic,” HG, or you couldn’t decode all this for the benefit of others. So although I’m very sorry for those who have encountered your amazingness that leads to their own painful struggles…I’m grateful that you also enlighten others with your amazingness – which helps those hurting to break free.

        So I’m conflicted on your amazingness. It’s complicated.:-)

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Understandable and thank you.

      6. Tappan Zee says:

        One can be both a narcissist and amazing, it is not mutually exclusive.

        I suspect most narcs are both. And that is yet ANOTHER thing so hard to reconcile. Seriously. Most that go through my mind ARE amazing. There are no “meh” narcs. None are grey rock. Ok wait. In writing that I just realized. WE are to be grey rock, as a ‘tactic’ hmmm maybe by nature they are “amazing” that causes US to be ga-ga over them, thus providing fuel. Holy crap so much to wrap my head around. And I know HG you do not use grey rock as a ‘thing’ nor do I really know how to do it. I prefer GOSO.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          All valid points.

      7. Yolo says:


        “Narcs are legitimate targets”

        How so?

        A narc would say that empaths are legitimate targets. Of course, from their perspective and need for fuel.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Everybody is a target. Empaths are the most legitimate because they fulfil the prime aims the most. Narcissists are legitimate targets because one can draw fuel from them, puppet them (residual benefit) and acquire character traits if necessary. Who would I always choose as an IPPS? An empath of course. Who would make a better Lieutenant? A narcissist. Horses for courses.

        2. Jenna says:

          Hi yolo!

          I replied to u abt the dbt treatment in one of the articles. I cannot remember which one. I am starting dbt on monday. How is the therapy going?

        3. Jenna says:


          U stated it urself – that u can gain residual benefits frm narcs. So now can u admit that u r not as empty as u think u are?!!

          1. HG Tudor says:

            The issue of emptiness has nothing to do with residual benefits. An empty individual can still have business contacts which would be a residual benefit, or convey a message on one’s behalf etc.

          2. Jenna says:

            Ty for ur reply hg.

          3. Jenna says:

            I think i got it mixed up w ‘character traits.’
            I must remember these details.

    2. Jenna says:

      Very nice letter fm1t! I love that u use exclamation marks often, as someone noted, meaning u have much enthusiasm for life!

      But i agree w kim. Hg is an amazing man to US.

      He is a heartless man to his ipps’s and others. We must not forget this.

      My heart still aches for all the torture he’s put his ipps’s through, esp when he draws negative fuel frm them in v hurtful ways.

      What stands out in my mind is him screaming in the ipps’s ear when she cries, or when he draws teardrops using his finger on his cheeks to mock her crying. Utterly cruel.

      Nonetheless, thank u hg for what u do for us. But i can no longer put aside what u do to others in ur personal life. At the same time, i feel sad for the abuse u endured in childhood. So, i guess u can say i have mixed feelings.

      1. kimmichaud1 says:

        I feel the same way Jenna that’s why I question his motivation it makes no sense he should be helping narcs not us and sometimes I worry if he uses things we say hurt us on some of his ipps to hurt them more I hope not

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Why would I assist my own kind when that is a pointless exercise with no gain for me?

          1. Windstorm2 says:

            In this instance perhaps, HG, but surely there are many times that helping another narc could benefit you. You have said that you have lieutenants and menions who are narcs.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            That is correct with regard to my private life, but I did not regard the question as appertaining to my private life, WS2.
            I understood the question in terms of why do I write on this blog and in books in ways which assist empathic individuals and therefore why do I not write in a way which assists narcissists, hence the answer I gave.

          3. Windstorm2 says:

            I think I perceive the misunderstanding, HG. I took her original comment to be a fear that you would take things you learned here on the blog and use them in your personal life to help other narcs. Which I would think is entirely understandable – that you would use any available resource to help yourself if possible.

            However, while that is possible, it seems obvious that the primary purpose of this blog, your YouTube posts and writings is to empower empaths – though of course it all feeds into and furthers your grand design.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            I have no need to help other narcissists in my personal life using what I learn here.

          5. Jenna says:

            Windstorm, i like ur new gravatar!

          6. Windstorm2 says:

            Thanks, Jenna! I love that saying and try to implement it in my life.

            Yours now is very pretty, too. Looks peaceful.

          7. Jenna says:

            Ty windstorm.

          8. Jenna says:

            Hi kim,

            Hope u r having a nice wknd!

            Hg has stated in the past something to the effect that (i will not use quotes because i cannot recall it exactly):

            1)he likes helping empaths because he likes empowering them against his own kind, 2) it feeds a sick desire to empower empaths against his own kind.

            Well, all the better for us.

            He has also openly stated that he learns frm us, and uses it to refine his skills. Shudder.

            Well, at least he’s being honest.

          9. HG Tudor says:

            For the sake of accuracy, part of why I do it is that it appeals to my sense of omnipotence to enable empaths to become equipped against my own own kind.

          10. Windstorm2 says:

            Understandable. In a way, to empower others is an ultimate power. You are empowering hundreds, probably thousands of others. As your work and reputation spread, this power will only grow. Even when you are gone, your work will survive you and continue this empowerment.

          11. HG Tudor says:

            Entirely correct, you have articulated well this central plank of why I do it.

          12. Windstorm2 says:

            Thank you, HG.

          13. Jenna says:


            U stated to hg: ” Even when you are gone, your work will survive you and continue this empowerment.”

            I cannot even think of hg being gone. I think i’ll lose my sanity, go back to ex narc, or do something utterly foolish. Part of the reason i don’t text ex narc is due to having to report back to hg. He, and all of u, r my strength.

            May long and healthy u live hg! (Of course, hopefully self fuelling and not hurting others).

          14. HG Tudor says:

            Thank you Jenna. I am going nowhere.

          15. Jenna says:

            Wow hg! Never thought i would hear that frm a narc! Ty! Good to know! 😊

          16. Jenna says:

            Thx for clarifying/expanding hg. That is why i did not use quotes.

            I like the fact that u enjoy bringing other narcs down! Narcs b gone!! Except u, hg.

          17. HG Tudor says:

            No problem Jenna.

            Indeed. I have no loyalty to them, they are entirely legitimate targets.

          18. Jenna says:

            Narcs being “… legitimate targets.”

            Haha! I love it!! And i agree!

      2. Petals says:

        There’s no brotherhood/sisterhood among the narcs of the world, Kim. Everyone’s out for themselves.

      3. kimmichaud1 says:

        That’s a good point it’s pointless to help narcissists since they’re unhelpable. I didn’t mean you should write a blog helping them to not be narcissists or write one helping them be better at manipulation although that would probably work. I just meant it would seem u r loyalties would be to other narcs not us but then again I’m sure u have no loyalty to anyone .but I’m still confused about helping us don’t think I’ll ever understand it

        1. HG Tudor says:

          My loyalty lies with me. I do protect my assets though (and no NarcAngel I do not mean wearing a protective box for my genitals – save when I play cricket).

          1. Jenna says:

            Omg lol!

        2. Jenna says:


          This is how i understand it.

          Hg is a greater narc.

          Mid-rangers and lessers are beneath him cognitively, w regards to self-awareness, restraint, and manipulative tactics.

          Are greaters beneath him? We all think so because we believe hg is so helpful to us.

          But in order for him to feel above fellow greaters, he needs to bring them down. He needs an army fighting against them. Who better to do that than their own victims?

          Talk abt a grand plan! He cannot take on millions of narcs, but the victims can, one narc at a time. So he places the information in our hands.

          In the end, hg will have proven without a doubt, that not only is he greater than lessers and mids, but that he’s also greater than fellow greaters, because he is destroying them, one narc at a time.

          It’s a brilliant plan actually. It’s genuis.

  7. Cathrine says:

    I love this letter! What a spirit!

  8. Caroline says:

    Love it! Love the exclamation points throughout it…shows he couldn’t steal your emotion and zest for life. Go you! 🙂

    1. ???!! says:

      Did i hear my name?? Exclamation points. Lol. Congrats to all of you and us getting through this nightmare.

  9. Not So Sad says:

    Hello Fool Me.

    If ever I was going to write a letter this is the one I’d write !

    It takes time to sieze the power & that can only be done when we all realise what we were dealing with & learn to understand why narcs do what they do .. it’s only then that we begin to see them for what they really are. While they sit up on their perch, lording it up believing they are gods gift to humanity we see only weak, soulless, cowards..

    Well done FMOMT.. 🙂

    P.s It’s always been a source of amusement to me ( as with you ) that in the grand scale of narcissism mine was even shit at that… :)..

  10. E. B. says:

    Hello FM1T,

    I loved your letter. I am very sorry about what your narcissist did to you. He wants to make you feel embarrassed and ashamed, even though you know that it is him who should feel that way.

    “You were afraid that I would tell people what you were hiding inside of you all your life! …You did what you thought you had to do to protect yourself! But you see I would have never hurt you in that way! That is not what I do to people who I care about”

    I am glad that you mentioned it. Not all of us will smear someone we love or care about just because the relationship is over. We do not hold a grudge against them. We will go on with our lives. Although they did that to me, I have not smeared anyone I love or care about back.

    Smear campaigns and character assassination are totally unnecessary if narcissists made an effort to get to know us or if they were able to recognize who they are dealing with.

  11. narc affair says:

    I love this! Im sorry about the photos that was a terrible violation of trust. Youre right there are many others like you who have been abused in similiar ways and the beauty of this is we are able to form meaningful connections and friendships from that hurt and pain. It sounds like you did seize the power and have a promising narcfree life ahead 💓 ps you have nothing to be ashamed or embarressed about your exnarc does!

  12. Christine says:

    Superb letter

  13. DebbieWolf says:

    I like this bit aswell
    “I found a man and a group of people that got me through it! He is an amazing man and a wonderful writer and teacher!”
    It shows that any isolation tactics never worked either and that he is pigeon holed into a catagory and not unique.
    …and a mediocre catagory at that!
    Slam dunk!

  14. Bibi says:

    ” You are not even the best narc you can be! There is a group above you!”

    This is hilarious. My experience was with a mid-range and they are absolutely cruel. Comparing which narcissist does more damage is like comparing a tsunami, wild fire, or level 5 hurricane.

  15. Tappan Zee says:

    ” I have seized the power that you so desperately crave! Ironic isn’t it?! ”

    That is a walk off home run.

  16. Bravo!
    I really would like to give you a big hug AND a high five!
    I Love it, Fool Me One Time!

  17. I’ve had the hardest day, so much crying out of nowhere. I thought I was doing better, I guess not. Your letter has made it so much better. I love your spirit. Thank you.

  18. Just Me says:

    ” I have seized the power that you so desperately crave! Ironic isn’t it?! ”

    That is a walk off home run.

    1. narc affair says:

      I loved this too!

  19. Antifragile says:

    ” You are not even the best narc you can be! There is a group above you!” – lol, exactly!
    The difference between the Mid-range and the Greater is tremendous. Had experienced both.

  20. Antifragile says:

    Can I just hug you??
    It was a very sad part about photos.
    Please believe in yourself!..

  21. Windstorm2 says:

    Love the spirit of this one! Especially pointing out that he’s not even a really good narcissist – he’s just a midrange. You’ve picked yourself up and become successful, but he’s doomed to stay stuck in the same losing pattern.

    1. foolme1time says:

      My spirit is stronger then ever, thanks to people like you Windstorm and the others on the blog! Thank you all, especially you HG!! Xxx😘💞

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