The Nasty Neighbour Narcissist
Neighbours. Unless you operate a sheep farm in Australia or man a lighthouse, chances are you will have some neighbours. For the most part, people may not know who their neighbours are, particularly in busy multi-occupancy properties in cities or they recognise them, but the interaction is a little more than a “Hello” and “Turned out nice again” as they pass in the street, lobby or lift. For others a neighbour has become a long-standing friend, a person who is spoken to every day, who is always welcome to pop in or who a conversation is engaged with over the garden fence. There is never a problem borrowing a cup of sugar, watching the cat whilst on holiday or taking in a parcel.
From the unknown, to the amiable to the hearty friendship, neighbours proliferate across the planet and largely there is no issue. However, there then comes the individual (although sometimes it is a couple or family) who earns the epitaph of neighbour from hell. This individual makes life for their neighbours or perhaps one in particular, irritating, annoying or complete misery. I daresay you have your own experiences of this, either something that has happened to you or you have witnessed or heard about having happened to a friend or family member. The variety of behaviours engaged in by this inconsiderate and unpleasant individual is endless but here are some examples:-
- The neighbour who plays loud music every night until the early hours of the morning.
- The neighbour who complains if one of your visitors parks their car outside his house even if it is not blocking the driveway.
- A neighbour whose garden and house is an eyesore and nothing is done to keep it tidy or well-maintained.
- A neighbour who commences a boundary dispute because the new ornament atop the pillar at the end of your drive appears to encroach one inch onto his land.
- The neighbour who kicks over your wheelie bins because they say you are leaving them on their property.
- The neighbour who erects a huge fence blocking out your natural light.
- The neighbour who leaves mountains of rubbish lying around, attracting rodents and causing a stench.
- The neighbour who has an animal which causes a problem through noise, droppings, biting or damaging property.
- The neighbour who will not return footballs and the like which go over the fence.
- The neighbour who repeatedly complains about you and your family over non-existent or trivial complaints.
- Sending anonymous notes to other neighbours suggesting that the targeted neighbour is a paedophile or serial womaniser.
- The neighbour who always borrows possessions and never returns them
It may be the case that a particular neighbour engages in one or several of these anti-social behaviours. It may be the case that a neighbour engages in a vendetta whereby the behaviour goes beyond that of being anti-social and amounts to a concerted campaign of harassment, criminal damage and even criminal assault. This unpleasant neighbour may embark on a series of behaviours such as poisoning animals, pouring weed killer on flowers or ripping up the garden turf, posting faeces through the letterbox, smashing windows, erecting barriers to prevent access and physically attacking the long-suffering neighbour.
Many people are either unwilling or unable to move away from this particularly problematic person. Naturally, the innocent party will try to reason with the difficult neighbour, trying to reach a compromise over parking arrangements, or asking the neighbour to show more consideration with regards to making noise at night. The innocent neighbour recognises that the behaviour is anti-social but is unable to understand :-
- Why the neighbour behaves like this in the first place;
- Fails to recognise he or she is doing anything wrong;
- Refuses to change their behaviours;
- Get so worked-up over trivial matters; and
- Increases the aggravation when reasonably approached.
The innocent person is completely at a loss as to what they could have done to invite such treatment. They are unable to grasp why it cannot be sorted out. They may escalate matters by making a complaint to the relevant authority about noise, refuse and behaviour, involve the police or commence their own legal proceedings to resolve a boundary dispute where significant money is spent arguing about a strip of land three inches in width and makes no real difference to anybody. Even such escalation fails to cause the nasty neighbour to correct their ways, often resulting in the unpleasant behaviour continuing or if the neighbour complies with a court order or notice, they engage in an alternative form of nuisance and harassment, leaving the innocent party exasperated. They cannot understand why this person behaves this way.
The reason they behave like this is that in all likelihood this is a nasty neighbour narcissist.
Now, many of our kind have pleasant interactions with our neighbours. The neighbour, either a tertiary or secondary (sometimes intimate) source is treated well enough because
a. Positive fuel is provided on an intermittent basis so there is no risk of that fuel going stale or the narcissist shifting stance owing to a reduction in quantity or frequency;
b. Façade management is key. It is often important to the narcissist that they are regarded as a pleasant person, well-regarded in the community etc by their neighbours and therefore it pays to remain courteous and pleasant to them as part of the façade;
c. Neighbours may form part of the narcissist’s coterie;
d. The neighbours form the contrast (through façade and coterie) compared to the treatment of the IPPS.
Accordingly, it usually suits the narcissist to have convivial relations with neighbours.
Yet, when problems arise in the manner described above, it will invariably be a narcissist who is generating the nasty behaviour and prolonging the campaign of harassment. Why is this?
- The sense of entitlement. The narcissist is entitled to sleep without your noisy kids making a racket even though it is a family neighbourhood, the middle of the afternoon and the school holidays. The narcissist can park his car blocking your drive if he wishes. He does not have to remove the refuse just because you ask. If he wants to park a large van so it blocks your light, he can do that. Those footballs which keep landing in his garden belong to him now and in fact, how dare your offspring invade his territory.
- No boundary recognition. In some instances this actually becomes literal when the narcissist builds an extension to the property encroaching on a boundary line. Having no recognition and respect for boundaries, the narcissist neighbour will remove anything of yours if he thinks it is in the way, tell you to change the colour of your front door is she does not approve with the shade you have painted it, walk across your front lawn rather than around it because it is easier to do that and a hundred other examples.
- No concept of accountability. This links in with the sense of entitlement. The narcissist does not have to do something just because you ask nor do they have to act just because the local authority has said as such.
- Victim mentality. Utilising the narcissistic perspective and the Toxic Logic that prevails, each situation will be twisted around so that the innocent person is the one who will be regarded as the one who has caused the problem, the narcissist is the individual who has been put upon and badly treated.
- Split thinking. The neighbour may well have been painted ‘white’ to begin with and then inadvertently does something which results in them being seen as ‘black’. No matter what this person does, they are always viewed as being in the wrong. For instance, the narcissist may have been hosting a party and the neighbour politely asks them to turn the music down as it is after midnight and they have young children. This offends the narcissist’s sense of entitlement and they are wounded by this request. The narcissist sees it as a demand, an order and plays the victim “all I was doing was celebrating my birthday but they had to spoil it”, fury is ignited so the music is turned up and thereafter the neighbour remains painted black and becomes a scapegoat in the neighbourhood.
- Inability to resolve the dispute. This arises out of the differing perspectives and because the innocent person does not know what they are dealing with. They think it is enough to ask their neighbour not to keep moving their rubbish bins when they have been left out for collection and that is a reasonable request. They do not realise how this request wounds the narcissist, that their fury ignites and they lash out in order to seek fuel. They do not realise that the narcissist has different aims to them which means that resolving any issue (trivial as it seems to the innocent party) becomes impossible as the potential outcomes desired by each party are completely different (to understand more about this mentality which extends to all manner of disputes with a narcissist see Why Are The Arguments Never Resolved?
- Why does the nasty neighbour narcissist keep on going, seemingly hell-bent on revenge over something minor such as the innocent neighbour accidentally knocking over a garden gnome? This incessant attack by the narcissist neighbour leaves the innocent party bewildered and flabbergasted. Who on earth keeps on going over such a minor matter? The answer; a narcissist. Why? One huge problem for a neighbour who has found themselves painted black by a narcissist neighbour is that they are always going to be hoovered and they will be malign. Why is this? Firstly, the Hoover Trigger ( see The Spheres of Influence ). You, as the innocent neighbour will activate a hoover trigger every single day because you enter the narcissist neighbour’s sphere of influence either because they see you or they see your house. Next, what about the Hoover Execution Criteria? Are they met ? (see It’s Hoover Time). It is usually the case that the Hoover Bar on these criteria will be low because
a. The narcissist knows fuel will be readily obtained from you, because you will be angry, upset, pleading etc;
b. The hoover will be easy to execute – the narcissist knows where you are, does not have to travel far at all to effect the hoover, has a vast array of ways of hoovering you to draw fuel, there is no romantic Formal Relationship to try to resurrect, it is a straight forward grab for fuel and the criteria are nearly always going to be met.
Accordingly, whilst the innocent party cannot fathom out why the narcissist keeps engaging in the harassment and dirty tricks, the simple fact that that person has been painted black in the eyes of the narcissist and then the Hoover Triggers are repeatedly activated and the hoovers effected means that an ongoing, sustained and repeated campaign of harassment and nastiness is waged against the individual. Reasoning with the neighbour does not work, upping the ante will not work (it is just fuel and/or allows the narcissist to smear the innocent victim) and even in some instances repeated court orders will be flouted by the narcissist who rejects the attempt to shackle their entitlement and continues their stance of being unaccountable.
8. No empathy. Lacking empathy, the narcissist neighbour feels no need to stop with their behaviour, does not appreciate the plight of the innocent neighbour or consider how it would feel if it were acted out against them in a similar way. Instead, the narcissist will turn the matter around to explain how they are the one who is hard done to and engage in all of the familiar manipulations in order to maintain the upper hand and control with their neighbour.
9. The scapegoated neighbour is used for the purposes of triangulation with other neighbours or more often the brainwashed members of the narcissist’s family so that more lines of fuel are opened up.
10. There may well have been no warning signs either because the narcissist, at first, will have presented a façade to the new neighbours and in effect been subjected to a form of ‘seduction’ by the narcissist neighbour. Those other neighbours who tried to warn you were ignored since “oh he has been ever so friendly since we moved in” – sound familiar to the romantic dynamic?
Accordingly, if you have a repeatedly anti-social, unreasonable and harassing neighbour it is highly likely you are dealing with a narcissist.
What to do?
- Do not react so little or no fuel is provided. This may well result in an increase in malign hoovers for a while but if there is no response, eventually the lack of fuel will mean the narcissist looks elsewhere or at least reduces the frequency of the behaviour.
- Log all incidences of anti-social behaviour with relevant authorities, install CCTV as a must so you have evidence, write down in a journal incidences of anti-social behaviour so you build a solid evidential foundation which can be used by
a The police if criminal charges are to be pursued;
b. Environmental agencies where they have jurisdiction – noise, nuisance, refuse.
c. Relevant local authority if the individual is a social tenant who could be evicted.
d. You, if you bring private court proceedings for an injunction to stop trespass, harassment, or to seek an appropriate order relating to a boundary dispute
3. Recognise that asking the neighbour narcissist is not going to succeed. Ask once, politely, in writing (so you have a record) and then recognise that you have to escalate the matter through the appropriate channel with a solid evidential basis.
4. Understand that even formal escalation will take time and with certain neighbour narcissists they will ignore court orders, flout notices and so on until enforcement action is taken by the relevant body and/or the neighbour narcissist is sent to prison for failure to obey the court order or notice.
5. Go no contact and find a damn good estate agent to sell your home.
28 thoughts on “The Nasty Neighbour Narcissist”
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Not sure where to categorize this one. It could be #13 neighbor. The one who insists on doing you favors even if you insist you don’t want it done, and NO is not an option, then later comes looking for a favor that will take more of your time. Or maybe that’s just an arse. As the story goes, when they moved from their old neighborhood to ours their former immediate neighbors had a sort of block party. So it’s not just me.
Hi RJ, I hate it when people do that. It’s like giving someone a crappy present. I has a counsellor who said to me, just don’t enter into the contract. She even said accept the favour but decline the return,
HI EB I think the lieutenant spy is an MRN too, at least he has those qualities he is just a kid tho (20’s). The lieutenants parents seem really nice and I have known them for years but interestingly my Narc only befriended the young MRN because I think of his immaturity and malleability. it’s interesting because my ex Narc even removed the gate between our houses saying I didn’t need it. I am so sorry you had a mass Lesser campaign against you, That must have been hideous. Thankfully I am not that bothered about what he tries to do, my nice neighbours aren’t the sort to take sides and they mind there own business. I am not one for drama, life is tough enough without it! Thank you for your replies it has done me good to talk about it. My friends don’t really understand or think it’s all a bit far fetched. There will definitely be some sort of back lash and I am a bit worried to be honest. Do you mind me asking what happened with you?
Mrs Linton,
Unfortunately, it is true. Your friends will not understand or they will think you are exaggerating unless something similar happens to them. Narcissists use a lot of gaslighting and what people see is a distorted picture but not what the victim is actually experiencing. The media does not show the most common scenarios but only rare cases when there is a lot of ranting and raving between two people over petty things. This is what most people know and wrongly believe to be a neighbour’s dispute. After all, if two adults are not able to solve a trivial matter like a disagreement over a fence or loud noises and this goes on and on for years, then both parties must be crazy, aggressive, anti-social personalities.
The neighbours who are targeting me are at least three different MRN women from different families. They did not want me to know they were behind the smears and character assassination and it took me several years to find out about it. I know the reason why two of them target me (I refused to do what they wanted from me several years ago). As for the third one, I made an appointment with her boss a couple of months ago for personal reasons and he told me something which made me realize why she has been smearing me for such a long time (I am supposed to have something she does not have, although this is not true. It is all on her twisted mind). I have never had any kind of relationship (friendship) with any of these women. The one who lives next door is obsessed with me and does malignant hoovers. She has recruited Lessers to do the dirty work. She treats other people like dogs: she tells them to do something for her and then she gives them something to eat and to drink. She feels powerful because people are easy to manipulate and control. Since all neighbours believe her lies and give me ST, I decided to ignore them too as I cannot stand drama and gossiping.
I think that narcissists will never tell anyone the real reason why they target someone because this would be like *revealing their weaknesses*. It does not have anything to do with loud noises, hedges, fences, parking and the like. These are only *excuses* the narcissist and his Lieutenants use to initiate a dispute. If there is a problem with a fence and both parties come to an agreement, the narcissist will find another excuse to manipulate and control the victim. The reason why a narcissistic neighbour attacks us is that we have ignited their fury by injuring their false-self in some way. They feel threatened by our presence and also justified to punish us until the threat is removed from their lives (we move out).
Since society does not understand narcissism and the police do not want to get involved in neighbours’ disputes, all we can do is to protect ourselves and to learn how to handle it. If people understood the narcissist’s hidden reasons and group dynamics, they would realize that most cases have very little to do with those shown on TV.
Hi EB that was really interesting to hear. You are doing the right thing not getting on the stage. Funny but Narcissists can’t help tripping themselves up and they will reveal themselves in time, especially MRs and lessers. My nice neighbours used to believe my Narc neighbour who said I got his house raided (I didn’t) and would not really talk to me at all at first. I was always polite and generous and eventually they saw him for what he was.Its true you can’t control what other people say about you but we can’t control ourselves and stay dignified.
Mrs Linton,
You do not need to explain that you did not get his house raided. I know you didn’t. The stories pathological liars tell are so out of proportion, so absurd and ridiculous that anyone who is sane would never believe them. I do not trust anyone who assumes those stories are true without checking the facts first. I am suspicious of people who will give me the ST and suddenly they will talk to me without apologizing or explaining why they had done that. I think they only want information to use against me and I cannot trust them. For example, the neighbours across the street had been giving me the ST for over a decade, although I had always been polite to them. One day they began to say Hello just after I had taken parcels for them when they were abroad. Like you, I thought they had seen the MRNs for what they really are but I was wrong. One of the MRNs must have seen that and she must have told them more lies about me because they began to give me the ST again. They have also done other things to me which shows their lack of empathy. I think the two women (mother and daughter) are dominant and controlling MRNs and their husbands their puppets. I would be careful not to give your nice neighbours any kind of information about you since their son is the MRN’s Lieutenant.
When you wrote “…my ex Narc even removed the gate between our houses saying I didn’t need it.”, does it mean that he is still living next door? (The MRN next door wanted similar things from me too but I refused. I do not let anyone decide want they want to do with my property.)
Hi EB the ex builder Narc did not know my neighbours before I met him. Then he got friendly with the current lieutenant.
I dumped the Narc who lives a good way off but looking back I think my ex has always triangulated and stalked people. That’s why he is still in touch with them.
My ex would always say hello to my Nasty neighbour even though I found it disloyal. Thinking about it he was triangulating me.
I know what you mean about trusting people who want to be your friend after ST
I certainly don’t trust the lieutenant and now tell him precisely nothing!
The picture is hilarious HG. Such a shame I have the sweetest neighbours, or I would be doing some hedge-trimming right now 😉
My ex told me that once when he was growing up his neighbor’s cat got into his family’s backyard and his dachshund killed the cat. Instead of telling the neighbor his family buried the cat’s body in their own yard and kept it a secret. Even when the neighbor came over asking about the cat they never admitted to even having seen the cat.
Nothing wrong with a lie like that. I would have done the same. Even Narcs aren’t responsible for a psychopathic daschund. I dont mean to offend but the truth would have upset everyone for what reason? Instead the van believe that the vat just went and had other adventures.
Sorry for typos I meant they can believe that the cat went off on his own adventure.
Mrs Linton
Psychopathic dachshunds made me laugh. They say dogs are like their owners and I had 2 funny and loyal but psychopathic dachshunds.
What cat? Bwa hahaha
Through-out the years, I’ve noticed the second type of neighbors are never there when you move in. They generally arrive a year or more after you’v lived there and someone else has moved out.
These new neighbors start their anti-social, loudness, public drinking, loud motorcycles etc and hostility immediately upon moving in.
We always dread it when a “For Sale” sign goes up, because it’s generally going to be bad news for the rest of the neighborhood.
I think this may be a direct result of previous issues in an other neighborhood – where others called police, etc.
They move into a new neighborhood and are no longer interested in a public image, etc. They no longer care.
There is no idealization stage with them – they go right into the devalue stage. (Renters and Homeowners alike)
Renters are easier at this point, because they don’t stay as long as the new homeowners do.
I was tortured by my neighbour for years. I wanted to build a porch in front of my house so I didn’t have to look at him when I came in and out. He intimidated everyone who visited to give me a quote so that I couldn’t get it done. He would try to befriend anyone who came to my house which infuriated me. He smeared me to anyone who will listen and gets upset if any of my other neighbours talk to me. He cut down all my hedges which were around five foot high and not on his side.He cut down my Eucalyptus in my front garden.
For years I tried to sell but because of the people hanging around and all the dodgey dealings no one wanted to buy it. Eventually I got my porch built because my builder knew more disreputable people than he did and he was out done. Despite all that though the most upsetting thing was him calling me an effing B just out of sight when my young son could hear.
I hadn’t spoken to him for around 13 years but he got worse and worse.
Cut a long story short eventually I recorded his threatening language concerning me, and though he was on his own property the content was serious enough for the police to get involved. I had to write to him requesting the abuse towards me stop. I also advised I would be recording such incidents in future. What I learned was in the UK you can record people under these circumstances because, you are recording on your own property, you have told them, and the content involves them committing a crime. Any level of intimidation is classed as antisocial behaviour. Please run these things passed the police yourselves because clarification is important though. I wished I had done it years ago, he has now been threatened with eviction by the Council and is now quiet as a mouse (for now)
I take your point about moving house, but I’m not moving because of him.
Now my builder who was once my hero is the Narc, leaving me with work undone. I an NC now. At least I got my porch built, my tree has grown again )more like a bush) and I have a six ft fence instead of a hedge! Happy days.
Mrs Linton
That sounds horrible! I don’t know my neighbors except for one and hope to keep it that way! She is a crazy woman who wears 3 layers of clothes and a gas mask and walks up to everyone, but then she’s not from here. The rest of us all keep to ourselves and are rather untrusting. Trespassing can get you shot. You never know when your neighbor is doing something illegal, so best to stay on your own property and ignore everyone else.
Hi Windstorm this is where the cultural differences are, I am really glad neither of us had a gun though, it may have been too tempting I am not worried about being shot but I am sure he has punctured my tyres before now, can’t prove it of course. I loved my hedges they took years to grow too. In England we tend to live more on top of one another as space is more of s premium which can feel more oppressive. He seems to know my every move. I remember on the Queens jubilee she spouted on about the spirit of neighbourliness we should all get along and borrow a cup of sugar. Best buddies etc. Something tells me her Buckingham palace neighbours are nothing like mine! My ex Narc made sure he made friends with everyone on my street including my neighbours which I find creepy.
I keep having visions of your crazy lady neighbour in a gas mask, that is so bizarre. Good advice I am a big believer in keeping yourself to yourself these days.
Mrs Linton
I am certainly a believer in keeping yourself to yourself!
My neighbor that I do know is certainly bizarre. I think she is a victim narc. She lives alone with no car and depends on neighbors to take her everywhere (we live in the middle of nowhere). She has some sort of memory problem, maybe a touch of senility. She has two daughters and one lives only 90 miles away, but they almost never visit her. I think she has just alienated them. She can’t resist interfering in everything.
She thinks that the air is full of toxins that keep her sick, that’s why she wears the gas mask. Even in the heat of summer she will have on a floor length dress with pants, a sweater and maybe a jacket. And of course, always the gas mask. She doesn’t use soap or anything with scents so being in a car with her is rough.
Occasionally I take her to church. She has a list of people she will ask and I have told her to keep me at the bottom of the list. Today I won the golden ticket and will be tied up from 8-11. She will bring a backpack with her containing canned food and water bottles in case we get lost or have car trouble (It is just a 30 minute drive to her church). We have to get there 30 minutes before mass and stay 30 minutes afterwards – so she can talk to everyone there. I just laugh and bring something to do in the car while I wait. I figure having no car, this is one of the few ways she gets to see and talk to other people and I try to make it as pleasant as I can for her.
She is an odd mix of sweet, venerable, bossy and obnoxious with no real understanding of boundaries. I suppose I think of her as a living example that God has put in my life to show me how lucky I am to be independent with good relationships with all my children. You know, like the old saying, “There but for the grace of God, go I.”
WS2
It sounds like the Hatfields and the McCoys.
K
Well the Hatfields and McCoys were from this area. Fueding is a real threat that I try to avoid!
Windstorm
And her daughters dont visit you say?…………
Do you live in the Korean DMZ? In order to come set on your porch with you I have to navigate the roaring bonfires of unwanted goods, avoid being shot by people with shady dealings and a hair trigger, prepare to be accosted by a gas mask wearing (and worse yet) sans deodorant wearing lunatic (THAT YOU ALLOW IN YOUR CAR!) only to be denied wine and have to attend church on Sundays. Youre not making this easy.
Oh come on, NarcAngel! Local color! Keeps life interesting!
Narc Angel,
Haha – There’s no need to complain. You will have your own gas mask!! Windstorm will put you at the top of her list. And please behave, remember that trespassing can get you SHOT.
Mrs. Linton,
I can relate to what you were going through. It is true that they will smear us to anyone who visits or is in contact with us and will not stop even if we have not spoken to them for over a decade, no matter if they are Lessers or MRNs.
Lessers use anger to deal with conflict and to handle any situation in life. If you are allowed to record them, you will have plenty of evidence to use against them in case you need it.
Do you know who might have turned your MRN builder against you? Was it your Lesser neighbour or somebody else? Does the Lesser have a wife/partner? Does he have a job?
Hi E.B the MRN builder and I had a “thing” it was only casual but he then tried to move in. His narcissism showed through in all its glory at the end. Somehow my builder knew relatives of my neighbour and of course as it was an affair my neighbour tried to rumble us. My MRN builder was on the process of being dumped by his primary source, not because of me, she has just had enough anyway. So both of us have dumped the MRN builder. The thing was I thought we were doing a deal but it looks like he wants to at least punish me first. The neighbour has told everyone I am an alcoholic split three marriages up (wow) I am also a lesbian who just pretends to like men. The woman who is in fact my sister he is saying is my lesbian lover, and this explains why I am on my own, Talk about covering your bases Nuts.
Yesterday I caught my other neighbour with his face at my back window and I think he is acting as lieutenant for the MRN builder who is spying on me (I am NC) It gets weirder. (I hope you can follow all that!) My neighbours smears have become so fantastical I don’t think anyone can believe them. I agree the lessers are so transparent it’s almost funny. My neighbour makes money from being an illegal money lender. (He tells everyone he got his house raided, I didn’t) His actions are definitely deliberate because there are just so many lies. I know he has had a head injury, but he’s not just mad he’s bad too. My ex MRN builder and he may team up soon.
Mrs Linton,
I am very sorry to read about your problem. I know what a nightmare it is to live next to narcissistic neighbours addicted to drama. Once the smear campaign begins, you have a whole group of people against you. I agree that the lies are delusional. Unfortunately many people believe what they are told, even though they have not witnessed anything at all. Depending on the place where you live, there are many people who do not care about anti-social behaviour at all. On the contrary, some people seem to love drama and need it themselves on a daily basis. MRNs who have targeted me befriended Lessers to use them as Lieutenants. I agree that what they do is deliberately. They know that they are lying and do not care because they feel justified and want to punish us. Is the builder’s Lieutenant who spied on you also a Lesser or is he a MRN?
EB
I was going to say that some people live to hear anything negative about anyone else, even if it’s totally false. But I guess that’s what drama is. You’re right. Some seem to need it on a daily basis!
Windstorm,
I agree. They do not seem to have any hobbies or interests in life, except for spreading gossip and turning people against each other.
I agree E.B. Narcissists are so busy causing trouble to their get fuel fix, that they can’t rake, shovel, do house work or keep their houses in good repair.