Ex Machina

 

i

 

I wake. I sigh. I wait. I see. I smile. I rise. I look. I notice. I awaken. I observe. I pause. I brush. I spit. I view. I hear. I glance. I surge. I type. I halt. I listen. I note. I grin. I step. I stand. I lather. I rinse. I wipe. I turn. I move. I check. I nod. I collect. I foam. I shave. I clear. I admire. I piss. I flush. I smear. I moisturise. I turn. I catch. I dry. I spray. I dress. I adore. I answer. I speak. I understand. I climb. I descend. I eat. I compliment. I accept. I plan. I consider. I formulate. I read. I zone. I screen. I drink. I kiss. I extract. I gather. I accumulate. I garner. I stockpile. I brush. I check. I rise. I exit. I call. I tease. I plot. I move. I drive. I sing. I cruise. I forge. I advance. I frustrate. I lie. I speed. I overtake. I gesticulate. I rage. I growl. I glower. I overcome. I bristle. I prowl. I dictate. I oversee. I lead. I achieve. I pioneer. I evaluate. I target. I flirt. I chastise. I laugh. I frown. I complete. I direct. I orchestrate. I demand. I secure. I fabricate. I succeed. I triumph. I challenge. I inspire. I decide. I action. I activate. I consume. I quench. I envy. I roar. I rage. I burn. I slash. I throttle. I lash. I denigrate. I belittle. I strike. I wound. I attack. I conquer. I despise. I hate. I overrun. I dominate. I sign. I shake. I clench. I maintain. I read. I assimilate. I conduct. I move. I touch. I preserve. I continue. I subjugate. I exceed. I impress. I frighten. I illuminate. I shine. I blaze. I buy. I offer. I grace. I favour. I entertain. I joke. I outrank. I outflank. I identify. I attract. I bind. I deceive. I con. I dedicate. I pretend. I know. I understand. I grasp. I press. I pull. I remove. I shadow. I lure. I beckon. I bestow. I receive. I evade. I deny. I deflect. I swing. I duck. I blacken. I obscure. I hide. I take. I grab. I have. I remove. I strip. I push. I enter. I thrust. I delight. I lick. I bite. I tug. I caress. I probe. I stroke. I entrance. I hypnotise. I mesmerise. I float. I soar. I smooth. I sooth. I confuse. I defraud. I steal. I distract. I depart. I ignore. I sneer. I calculate. I follow. I invigilate. I guard. I misinform. I perjure. I mislead. I falsify. I construct. I destroy. I tell. I withhold. I reduce. I erode. I cloud. I arrive. I amass. I harbour. I harvest. I pluck. I suck. I drain. I acquire. I takeover. I obliterate. I annihilate. I beat. I overcome. I assure. I ignite. I manipulate. I control. I assuage. I decide. I conclude. I reflect. I dismiss. I ascertain. I point. I click. I review. I tap. I send. I spin. I trap. I block. I unblock. I do. I don’t. I will. I won’t. I can. I cannot. I should. I shouldn’t. I would. I wouldn’t. I did. I didn’t. I oppose. I combine. I bewilder. I daze. I encircle. I defend. I swoop. I revel. I increase. I fume. I snarl. I infuriate. I retaliate. I provoke. I win. I switch. I lower. I triumph. I outsmart. I outreach. I succeed. I delight. I accomplish. I remember. I twist. I turn. I grimace. I scratch. I scrape. I whisper.

I close.

I sleep.

I wake.

I am.

I repeat.

Advertisements

25 thoughts on “Ex Machina”

  1. HG, this is a brilliantly formatted piece.
    It feels very transactional.
    Business like.
    Robotic and perfunctory.
    Yet, calming to read.
    You are not involved with mergers and acquisitions are you ?
    Corporate or legal.
    “I acquire. I takeover.”
    In what ways HG, have you defrauded or perjured ?

  2. Completely unrelated, didn’t know where to put it, but what’s your wait time for consultation? I saw a couple days or so for email? what about Skype/phone?

    1. It depends on availability at the given time, sometimes it can be arranged same day, more usually in 1-3 days.

      1. I see. I’m basically needing help with getting past my emotional thinking, I guess, because there’s an opportunity for promotion at my work and I feel like I’m screwing it up. Not even sure if that’s within the scope of stuff you help with, it’s not a romantic/narc entanglement. But the interview is tomorrow morning.

        I guess it’s the kind of thing that people would ask their parents about, or friends. But my parents are dealing with their own stuff and friends have offered kind words, but ultimately not very helpful in a matter of fact sense.

      2. This type of situation is apt for my assistance. I’ve assisted people in business, court, social and familial situations not just romantic

      3. You are THE source HG. I miss your voice. Will you be making some new YouTube recordings soon?

  3. This reminds me of the song ,” Don’t give up.”
    I could always read in him the feelings of unease. I would stroke his brow, and then sing, “Rest your head, you worry too much.”
    I don’t know if he ever really felt me. Of course I wanted to save him.
    Now all I can do is save myself. Not sure how to reconcile any of how I feel. Not sure if I’m even making sense.

  4. I read, I feel, I contemplate, I write, I ponder, I amend, I pause, I think, I say, I send, I hope, I wish, I care, I leave…..I eat chocolate….

  5. Quintessentially narc -“I”. Some of the regular commenters would do well to open their eyes and see they have fallen into your snare. You feed off of them. You deliver something useful to them to bring them in. You go further and offer personal consultation, which gives you a hold on their psyche, if not their lives. They willingly offer their necks to your charm with a British accent, all the while knowing what you are. Have they have learned nothing? I suppose it could be symbiotic. Some people enjoy suffering as much as some people enjoy dishing it out. It’s a delicious business for you, isn’t it? Not only do they willingly feed you, some of them pay to do it, just so they can feel special, singled out and known to you.

    I appreciate your insight.

  6. Hg,
    That was posted, and (as always with me) the post button is pressed before a change of mind can happen, therefore please excuse 🙁

  7. I manipulate-I hurt-I hunt-I groom-I fake-I pretend-I embellish-I boast-I abuse-I mind rape-I DO NOT LOVE-I get HIGH-I FUCK-I rotate my victims-I sell my sob story-l look for your wounds- I practice this dark art of EVIL………………………………….Mr. Tudor you say “I am currently engaged in treatment which has been forced upon me.” How long ago did this start of the reason YOU had to do this, OR you had to do something and you came up with this format for your treatment? IS this still the case OR you are doing this format now because IT is YOUR choice? OF course I would love to ask Why and What did you do, but I believe you will not share that. Thank you Curious Minds S.W.

    1. Hello Spiritual Warrior
      This will help answer part of your inquiry. It looks like HG has been in therapy for over three years.

      screwyoudick
      MARCH 30, 2017 AT 20:26
      That is the best definition of a narcissist sociopath on the entire world wide web! Brilliant writing. I am very curious as to how many years it is that you been in therapy….

      HG Tudor
      APRIL 2, 2017 AT 10:47
      Thank you. Two years.

      https://narcsite.com/2017/03/30/the-ten-narcissistic-commandments-3/

      1. K Than you AGAIN a lot of back and forth of HG response on that topic and day. He says he believes in God when it suits him. He doesn’t believe in repenting. I don’t either of sin and so on, IF he did, He would be repenting daily….lol I believe YOU treat others of how you want to be treated. Karma God Spiritual living. I have a Christian Background, I am more into Church of Religions science Agape International is the famous one in L.A, CA. I believe in spirit guides too, who THANK YOU to them and God have helped me and protect me of the evil of the Narcissist.
        HG says he does not believe in Karma. I do as a law of the Universe????
        K or HG can you comment on this?? Out of all of the incredible contributions that Newton made to the world of physics, the scientific finding that has always fascinated me the most is Newton’s Third Law of Motion: “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” … Karma means action and intent. Thank you it is so nice to engage in these topics and people feedback….Kindly S.W.

      2. You are welcome, Spiritual Warrior
        I like to engage, as well, and the feedback here is wonderful.
        Although I was raised catholic, I don’t believe in an afterlife or God, however, I am open to God, angels, demons, psychics, reincarnation, UFOs and ghosts.

        Essentially, karma is cause (action) and effect (intent).

        HG doesn’t believe in karma/what goes around comes around. He is the doer and in control and he makes things happen by hook or by crook.

        I read this on the link below:

        We also blow hot and cold with you over an elongated period because of the need for contrast. Isaac Newton’s Third Law stated

        ” For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

        Whilst this was directed in the field of physics, this is of equal application to the narcissistic dynamic. We have to create contrast in order to derive the most potent fuel.

        https://narcsite.com/2018/06/14/why-does-the-narcissist-blow-hot-and-cold-part-one-3/

  8. Hello HG,
    Hope you are well.
    That piece of writing sounds like a nightmare; although it also does give a view of daily life!
    As a youngster, observing people, it always seemed amazing how people carried on existing as they became old weary, aged, life for them was noticeably becoming physically painful, they continued doing the same thing day after day all those years. I thought they must be very brave.
    It seems your daily happening is for fuel a much needed drug.
    Do you ever ponder on its worth?
    This last work suggests you do.
    Will you seek a solution?
    Do you have an idea?
    Thank you for your writing.
    (just saying)

      1. Narc Angel, yes, I have always liked this pic. Must be the dirty savior empath in me who would not mind to chop some vegetables with this guy. Yum yum.
        LOL.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.