Why The Narcissist Wants You Dead



“I’m going to fucking kill you!”

“You’d better do it or you’re dead!”

“I wish you were dead!”

“You are going to die.”

You may well have heard such threats and declarations of intent from our kind. The savage Lesser who has erupted in a volcanic reaction of ignited fury who grabs the kitchen knife and thrusts it through the air towards his victim, the self-pitying Mid Ranger who in a tantrum of impotence and hatred expresses his wish that you were dead or the dread words delivered with the reptilian smile of the Greater ; each school has its own ways of issuing this threat.

Yet, is this just wishful thinking or a solid desire to see you dead? Are these words issued more for effect than the reality of murdering you, causing an ‘accident’ or hoping that some intervening act causes you to be wiped from this mortal coil?

The general position is that we do not actually want you dead in the sense of physically dead. There are notable exceptions, which we shall address below, but it is rare for those exceptions to occur. The fact is that numerous commentators believe that we want you dead and the truth is, we do not. That is another myth that is held about our kind, that it is our ultimate desire, our final expression of victory for us to kill you. It is largely incorrect and here is why :-

  1. A dead appliance is a useless appliance. Your purpose is threefold to us, whether you are a tertiary, secondary or primary source. You are to provide us with fuel, character traits and/or residual benefits and the more important the appliance in our fuel matrix, the more likely that you will provide all three and do so impressively. Accordingly, if you are providing us with the very things that we want and need it makes no sense at all to render you incapable of providing them. But, I hear you ask, what of the appliances that are no longer functioning in the way that we want? A valid question.

Firstly, when you stop functioning in terms of the provision of positive fuel (you do not provide enough/frequently enough/it runs stale) we switch to devaluation and even though we hate you and paint you black for your treachery in no longer fulfilling your specified role through the provision of positive fuel, you still have a role to play. You become the fountain of negative fuel.

Secondly, you still have a role to play with regard to the provision of character traits and residual benefits. You may be supporting us financially, taking care of us, running a household, caring for the children and other matters which not only benefit us day-to-day but support our all important façade.

Thirdly, you are required for the purposes of triangulation with our other appliances and maintaining the provision of fuel as we seek out your ultimate replacement.

Now you ask, what then when we choose to dis-engage, clearly we have no longer       any desire to interact with you at all, why not kill you then? These leads us on to the other reasons why we choose not to kill you.

2. Notwithstanding our contempt for rules, the law and regulations, the higher functioning of our kind are mindful of the adverse interference that comes from nosey law enforcement if we murder you. It brings unwanted scrutiny and the potential to fetter our right to do what we want and we are not so stupid as to act in a way that will blatantly jeopardise that.

3. We treat you as dead without the inconvenience of actually killing you. We effectively delete you when we concentrate on the new IPPS through the new golden period. Accordingly, by ignoring you, removing you from social media postings, blocking you, not answering your messages or calls, then we have ‘killed’ you and this provides us with a far more satisfactory outcome.

4. You are ‘kept alive’ for the inevitable hoover. Although wanting to see you, interact with you or indeed do anything with you at all is last on our list when we have dis-engaged from you, unconsciously there remains that advantage to be achieved by keeping you alive so we can hoover you for fuel (positive or negative) or achieve this as well as bring you back into the Formal Relationship to acquire the other aspects of the Prime Aims. Remember, there has been a considerable investment in you and whilst we ‘kill you’ by putting you from our minds during the golden period with the new IPPS, we will want to draw down on our investment in due course. Accordingly, there is no point physically killing you.

5. There are alternative methods where we can in effect murder you without the potential risk to liberty. The key ways that this is done are as follows :-

a. Character assassination – ( The Paranoia of Character Assassination )

b. Smearing – ( see Smear and Loathing )

c. Silent Treatments – ( The Smiling Assassin )  and ( 17 Salvos of Silence )

d. Devaluation as a whole

Thus whilst we do not physically kill you, we slay your character, your reputation, your self-worth, your sense of existence, your connection to us and still continue to draw fuel from you, something we could not do if you were physically dead.

5. Punishment. By you remaining alive, we are able to punish you. This asserts and maintains our sense of superiority, enables us to draw fuel and ensures that we feel a sense of achievement and retribution against you. It also means we can keep on punishing you, something that could not be done if we were to actually murder you.

6. By stating our intent or desire to kill you, this simple form of threat carries with it the ability to gain fuel from provoking a reaction from you, but also allows the establishment of superiority. It is a simple sentence but one which carries significant power with it. This low usage of energy with maximum impact appeals hugely to our kind and therefore it makes far more sense for us to THREATEN than to EXECUTE. Yes, in that moment we do want to kill you or see you dead because you have done something which has mortally offended us and therefore our reaction in uttering those words is entirely in accordance with a desire to kill but we do not actually do so (and ultimately we do not want to do so) because it goes against our fundamental needs.

Thus for all of these reasons whilst we may say we want you dead or that we want to kill you, the reality is we do not and we will not.

Thus this is the general rule, however, as with all rules, there are exceptions. What are the exceptions when the desire to kill is acted on?

  1. The loss of control through ignited fury. Whilst the ignition of fury can potentially result in any school of narcissist entering a frenzy whereby there is the commission of physical violence, it is the Lesser who is most likely to murder as a consequence of the loss of control. This does not mean that all Lessers will kill, but rather, of all the schools, when there is a serious loss of control resulting in the ignition of fury, then the Lesser will want to kill and can and does kill. The fuel arising from the act, as he stabs, bludgeons, throttles or beats will be significant but not enough to heal the wound that has resulted in the ignition of fury and the loss of control, meaning the murderous act continues until the victim lies dead. Therein the fuel halts from the deceased victim. The narcissist may gain fuel from the reaction of witnesses also but ultimately that burst of fuel has gone with the demise of the victim. The murdering Lesser may use the fact of his killing to gain fuel in the future but as of now, he has lost a major appliance (if for instance he has murdered his IPPS) and therefore he will face a fuel crisis if he does not achieve fuel from alternative sources.
  2. Going, going gone. There are circumstances where the narcissist recognises that the major fuel provider is ‘on the way out’ and thus the fuel is going to be lost anyway. This is not the situation where the appliance is escaping or leaving – our narcissistic perspective of you always belonging to us means that your escape, leaving or departure is not something that will happen because we control you and we will bring you back under our control through a Initial Grand Hoover or through Follow-Up Hoovers. Thus, if someone is about to escape, move away etc, this is not applicable. The situation of Going, Going, Gone applies to where the appliance is at risk of dying. There are two clear situations where this arises ; terminal injury or illness and suicide. In respect of terminal injury or illness, the narcissist knows that the fuel source will not be around for much longer and therefore ‘helping’ this person on their way would appeal to particular narcissists. There also has to be a benefit associated with such an act, namely doing it as an act of revenge for wounding, punishing for railing against the narcissist’s control and such like.

With regard to suicide, if the narcissist recognises that the victim is at a very low ebb and therefore is likely to end their own life and thus deprive (in one final act of defiance) the narcissist of fuel etc, the narcissist will encourage that individual to take their life and push them over the edge. This is rare, but accords with a desire on the part of the narcissist to punish and gain revenge. This punishment and revenge goes beyond that normally experienced and would be as a consequence of a major exposure and/or major wounding. Thus if an individual is in a position whereby suicidal ideation occurs, the narcissist is aware of this and senses that it is likely to occur, the narcissist, in accordance with his or her god-like view of themselves and the need to exact punishing revenge will pressure, cajole, encourage and manipulate to push the victim over the edge so that he or she commits suicide.

3.  Malice. A Greater Narcissist wants you dead. There is no Going, Going Gone scenario which would be harnessed by any of the schools of narcissists. In this instance the malicious and calculating Greater has determined that your death is required. Again, this is rare and the Greater will have evaluated that the loss of a useful appliance is offset by the need to dis-incentivise this individual. There will be no clumsy rage-filled Lesser bludgeoning, or pillow-smothering Mid-Ranger with the dying cancer-ridden parent. Here the Greater sees you as a problem, an obstacle which must be removed. Usually it will be because the Greater recognises that you have access to information which will cause him or her considerable difficulty or that you have the ability to create a significant exposure problem. The Greater will not go down this route lightly, instead he or she will look to manipulate the situation in an alternative manner, but ultimately the Greater’s malicious core, their need for the maintenance of the status quo and their superiority means that sometimes, sometimes there is a need to remove an individual completely. It may be made to be an accident, it may be subtle, it may involve a contract killing, but certain individuals, on rare occasions, will be removed because they pose a threat to the Greater’s plans and control. The individual may be a romantic appliance, a business appliance or a familial appliance, but if the Greater deems their removal necessary and this outweighs the benefits of continued punishment, torture and fuel provision from this individual, then they will be dis-incentivised.

Thus, the prevailing circumstances are that we do not want you dead, no matter how many times it might be threatened, because an alive appliance is a very useful appliance. However, on rare occasions there will be exceptions.




43 thoughts on “Why The Narcissist Wants You Dead”

  1. Greetings H. G.,
    I am very thankful for this well-written article that you rook the time to construct to help us understand this subject better.
    I have been one of the confused commentors, but today you have given me some answers and I most fervently thank you.
    I was unaware what a narcissist was during my 26 years of marriage, but my gut told me that my husband wasn’t who he appeared to be. He had me so confused because to most of his world
    he appeared a saint and a hero, but to me there was a hidden evil side lurking underneath. After so many years together and the accompanyIing emotional abuse, I was on several medications for depression, had agreed to spend a week in a treatment center due to suicidal ideation, and half-heatedly attempted to harm myself out of sheer frustration and wanting the pain of constant degradation and living a lie to stop. I could not find an adequate support system because not one of my depression counselors over many years mentioned narcissism and sometimes they disregarded my opinions and stood up for the narc! Friends, family, and acquaintances could not find much fault with the amazing golden narccisist. I should be honored to even breathe the same air that he did!
    Because I was entertaining suicidal ideation at the time I was being heavily devalued, I think my narc knew he held the keys to my demise in his hands. There were so many signs that he was preparing to replace me with what I now know was the secondary intimate supply source, but I had to maintain my state of denial because my world as I knew it was crashing in around me. I think he knew he had the power at this point to be patient and let me move on quietly as soon as the divorce was final. (Meanwhile I think he was hiding the fact that she was living with him while we were seperated.) Or….
    His other option would be to twist the proverbial knife cruelly by outing her to me, knowing I might harm myself due to his doing what I then feared most – replacing his loving wife (Silly me, turns out he had committed so many acts of adultery over so many years and carefully hiding it, it was mind boggling.)
    He chose to let me go, maybe because outing my replacement would cost him financially in the divorce. Perhaps because looking back he feared most having his Pious mask ripped off and making her known could question his integrity. (As soon as I left he moved her in to our former home and had people convinced she was a platonic friend needing a place to stay.) By the time this was revealed to me, I finally had a support system, who eventuallt turned out to be a group of assorted narcissists!)
    I think he may have realized that by playing it cool and being patient he could work his narc majic and I would eventually, as you said, H.G., be dead in theory. (Placed in a coma on the shelf, maybe.)
    Life does have a way of helping us wise up. I learned about narcissism. I studied it like it was my college major. I found happiness, am no contact with all problematic narcs, and have been off antidepressants for six years.
    Thanks again for helping me continue my healing journey with your in- depth tutorials, H.G.

  2. Question; HG, All Folks


    When lesser gets legal papers (soon) he’s going to loose it and want empath dead;(figuratively) There has been no contact ( by choice) between N & E in over 2 years but they have a 18yr. history and couple kids. N is going to show up and retaliate in evil way because of this. E is preparing for a smear campaign against her. Guaranteed! So, is it a good time for E to loose it too and EXPOSE N with all those deep dark secrets that have never been spoken out loud? E has been saving up his personal traumas and flaws. Should she go nuts too? Or just sit there and take the verbal abuse (per usual)? N emotionally destroyed E for 18 yrs. E is in the angry stage of recovery. E is also afraid of N, but she don’t care anymore. Stand up even if your voice shakes! E needs her moment to hurt him, even if it is only one feeling she hurts. E has a lot of pain.. E may never get this moment again. E is going to rip that mask to fucking shreds. He won’t know what hit him. ….The power of the tongue run much deeper than any punch could. E needs help/advice? Or should E just have 911 on speed dial when he shows up? …….E thanks you for reading….If not appropriate I apologize, delete.

    1. Hi Lisa,

      I’m not sure how helpful my words will be, but my advise would be to pull back from revenge thoughts, and let go of your anger in other ways. With some kind of physical activity, sport, boxing or a martial art, running.. anything that may help you release it productively.

      Your in pain, when we are in pain we need to take care of ourselves first, address the pain and what Is causing it.

      18 years is too long for the very strongest to endure. You must be a very strong woman, use that strength and focus on you. For as long as your focus is on him, you will be replaying it, reliving it over and over. While you focus on him he wins.

      The way to get revenge is to be free, so he is nothing to you.
      Wishing you well in your endeavours- try and make them about you and not him, take Care and be kind to yourself.

      1. Quasi, thank you! You’re right. I’ve been on this roller coaster for way too long. Proper decision making is getting confusing. I think it’s time to seek some professional help with this (again). He just won’t go away. The PTSD won’t go away. We have kids. I can’t escape it. He’s beyond delusional to deal with. I’m tired of standing up and getting knocked down, time after time after time. I love my kids, they keep me going. He has not gotten the documents yet, so I’m still waiting on the impending doom. It never ends….sigh…..

    2. Lisa,

      Damn, eighteen years is a hell of a long time. No wonder you’re having such difficulty holding your composure, anyone would after enduring so much for so long. You’ve been so very strong for so long, the impulse to show a moment of weakness must be overwhelming.

      The satisfaction you may feel from hurting him isn’t worth jeopardizing your safety, children, or any legal proceedings. It may feel worth it, but feelings are the crux of manipulation in all this fuckery. You’ve already been driven nuts, letting him see how effectively he’s twisted your perception will supply him with more fuel, why give him what he wants? By playing his game on his terms, you’re effectively playing right into his hands. Using your emotional thinking against you is easy. Resisting the impulse to lash out as a consequence of that emotion-driven thought is how you gain higher ground. A confrontation may be as tempting as every apple in all of Eden, but you’re most likely going to be the person this reflects badly on. Not him. He’ll twist any action against him as far as he can, after all. Giving him what he wants on the basis of “because I want to/because it’ll feel good” is kinda like electing to cheat for the same reasons. Instant gratification is tantalizing, but operating from a lower vibration is likely to harm you in the long run.

      I’ve done the strike-for-strike in anger thing, 0/10 I cannot recommend it. If not killed (which could be likely, could not be, a consultation with HG directly would shed more light on this) you may be painted black and discarded for a good long while, but it won’t last forever. He’ll be back for another round somewhere down the line. Like Quasi advised, finding another outlet (or ten) for that ever-simmering anger seems worthwhile. Working that physical aggression out of your body and wordvomiting every vile thing you want to say to him on paper (or a screen, or both) can be cathartic. Endlessly ruminating on this all and keeping these feelings confined inside yourself leaves you very susceptible to him. If this all isn’t stuck inside of you and you’re able to pull your own brakes before throttling well beyond the point of no return, you stand a much better chance at sustaining the rest of this mess as unscathed as possible.

      You’ve suffered more than enough. Showing yourself the love you’ve shown him, not the devastation he’s shown you, is fucking difficult but so, so worth it. Sure, he’s wearing a mask, but it is his. It must be terrifying to feel like you have no option but to be seen with a face that isn’t your own, let him masquerade around with his security blanket. At least you know it isn’t his true face, now.

      I’d keep 911 on speed dial, just in case he shows up and is compelled to become violent. Just as a precaution, y’know? Hopefully you won’t need it. <3

      1. Wolves, Excellent Post!
        Well written from someone who’s been there, done that.
        As you know, pulling those brakes is the hardest part.
        It’s so frightening to know he’s going to go into a rage at me.
        911 will be my best resource. I hope there are others around.
        Thanks for the encouraging words. Life is hard enough, then it throws shitballs like this at you too. Not fuckin fair. UGH! You can’t even defend yourself or have a chance to win the battle because they don’t play fair. It’s like playing a game of torture knowing you will always lose. And you don’t even get to pick when you want to play. They do. FFS. It’s always all about them..fuckin losers!

  3. Welp, thanks HG. More reason for intermittently suicidal me to stay away. Poking all the wrong places is so appealing, but ridiculously damn stupid in practice.

    Ick, a hell of a memory just flashed through my head. When enduring heightened states of distress, I have a tendency of dissociating and compulsively self-harming in a desperate attempt to force myself back to Earth. Sometimes it’s a subconscious manifestation, blacking out and coming to with blood steadily dripping from a fresh wound is a familiar experience, though thankfully not one I’ve repeated in a solid few years now. The unyielding paranoia and repetitive crushing blows to my concept of trust that came with sharing my physical space with him (or Him, so he’d prefer, Jesus ain’t got shit on the almighty Him, duh.) was way too much. A dissociative episode grabbed me by the nape of the neck late one insomnia-fueled night and he found me hacking away at myself. I hadn’t actually blacked out, but he appeared to believe (or wanted me to believe) otherwise when his mask seemed to slip as he sighed slightly and said “I’ll let you bleed out next time, babe.” No expression outside of the sigh, tone flat and matter-of-fact. I was too far removed to react in the moment, which was probably for the best. At least he went back to bed after throwing the first aid kit in my general direction. Could have been worse, really, and the kit is almost a nice gesture if you squint.

    Pain is a bizarre addiction.

    1. Wolvesinwalden

      I feel as I read your comment, it sounded very much like me. Especially the self harming….my hubby doesn’t like site of blood much. I once cut into my arm, and there was literally a puddle on the floor of blood, and I was quite happy for it to continue getting a bigger puddle…..I just stood there watching….my arm going drip drip drip….I had kinda dissociated I think….

      The things we do huh, to bring ourselves back to earth, to not feel, or to feel as the case may be. Pain is a bizarre addiction.

      “A pain that I’m used to” – Depeche Mode

  4. HG

    How likely are those of the victim cadre to deliberately seriously harm, or even kill themselves as a form of revenge? Perhaps identifying the ‘target’ as the reason why they’re killing themselves/pretending to kill themselves in a suicide note, or actually carrying out the maiming or suicide in front of them, thus causing maximum damage.

  5. HG, Narcissists have so much good in them, and at work they’re very good at listening to what is wrong with something and calmly getting that thing corrected. They’re very creative and talented people, though they don’t brag on that. They’re perfectionist, or at least everything they do, they do well. But they’re like a seesaw, a good and bad contradiction. Maybe more good sided with flares of bad, but they do bad really well. But the pure evil streaks in them, the purely evil acts that make them smile – why are Narcissists evil?

    1. Narc aren’t running around snarling & lashing. The damage narcissist do to us is mostly done subtly, a slight here and there day by day. A lot may even come to us passively, unintentionally. But each stab strikes deep.

      Projecting a better image of ourselves or donning someone else’s isn’t necessarily narcissistic if you’re trying to be more likable, pleasing, less boring even. Seems like ‘fuel’ would come naturally from that. But narc go further. They enjoy evil, hurting people mentally & physically, harming pets, so that is my question, why are they evil? It’s not necessary for getting fuel.

      1. Hi kelly,

        I’m just wondering if you might be thinking of “evil” as some of the heightened negative emotions that that a narcissist can express or respond to?
        I will use an example of a more passive aggressive narcissist, so a mid ranger for example.

        Through development of narcissism I have come to understand that certain emotions are felt strongly while others are felt less so, or some may say not at all. I don’t believe we can selectively numb but I can only wonder if this was a process of the defence mechanism evolving, maybe this is more possible if you are not high in empathy or lacking ? I’m not sure on that one.

        But if you think of emotions on a scale that moves with degree and intensity, we can understand that many negative emotions are higher on the scale of degree and intensity for a narcissist, so envy, anger, shame etc.

        The emotion I think you are thinking of is called dispositional schadenfreude – essentially- joy/pleasure in another’s misfortune. I think this emotion can be high in degree and intensity for narcissists and more so ones that adopt passive aggressive traits.

        Emotions are what they are every human being feels the ones that they know, and have developed a propensity for at different levels of intensity.

        What you see as evil may well be simply a strongly felt emotion, that is automatic and not created with intent. Just as you or I may have a surge of joy when we hear a friends good news, it’s automatic and instinctive, we do not create it for effect.

        A mid ranger may suffer abit more with Envy as a core part of their internal mental life. When they can see others standing, intelligence, money, this may equate to an envious hatred for the person, and they may have a high awareness of this; especially so if in the midst of a reality gap.
        The emotion of schadenfreude can be felt strongly if this person of their envy suffers a misfortune, losses some money etc.
        This emotion helps the narcissist tip the balance back in their favour and elevate them again, it alleviates envy and the pain that can be linked to that emotion.

        I imagine that this emotion is core in the idea of fuel to wash over the envy and dampen the ever present fury a little.

        So essentially much of what you speak is instinct, emotions are instinctive and reactive to situations. Most often the narcissist will react to the interactions with people as they present to them through their lens. This can be good or bad.

        We all have the ability to feel the negative emotions, they just may be lower on a scale for some. I have to confess that I have a bad habit of instinctively smiling or sometimes laughing ( hopefully not too loudly) when I see someone fall over.
        When my own child has a random comedy fall I may laugh, but straight after this instinctive reaction, I have a wash of care and empathy, wanting to check they are ok. ( then guilt for laughing) – does this make me evil?
        Well my child might look at me like what the **** mum? I’m hopeful that that is not their internal monologue ( although I do listen to a fair amount of hip hop so potential) lol..

        Anyway I hope This was helpful.. to be honest most of your questions would Be answered by fuel and fury, if you have not read them already I would recommend them.

      2. Thanks Quasi,

        That is helpful and makes sense.

        One kind of pain I was also referring to was sexual sadism. I’ve haven’t had sex with him, but he’s somatic, and he’s pinned me into place before for just seconds that has caused me pain & he knew he was doing it, his faint smile curling like Mona Lisa’s! He’s very precise, exact and fast with his hands & actions, and nobody else in the room would notice it. But I would be afraid that he would hurt me if I were ever ‘with’ him.

        He also allowed his beloved dog to be hit by a truck- he survived & healed – but he blamed it on the retractable leash jamming up.

        Yes that joy at someone else’s misfortune reminds me also of when siblings chuckle when one other of them is getting a spanking or punished.

        1. Hi Kelly,

          I’m sorry that happened to you. It sounds very much like he was demonstrating his power and control.
          You gave an instinctive reaction to the pain felt and possible slight fear of what he may do next.

          He very likely smiled at your reaction, that he caused it, he had to power to evoke this from you. He likely smiled at the fuel you gave him, not necessarily because he knew he caused you pain.

          The sadistic streak article may be worth a read if you have not read it yet- it is brilliant, so comprehensive, it would help you identify the difference when a narcissist has a sadistic streak. You’re answers may be there.

          Again with the dog, he would not Care for the dog, as he would not care for a person, the dog would not have been beloved, he would have been a tool in the facade, the dog would have been used to attract fuel from you and others.
          Letting the dog get run over likely caused the attainment of lots of fuel from concerned passer bys, attentive attention from strangers, shows of concern and care.

          He did not care for the dog. Of course he blamed it on the lead- it would not have been the narcissists fault- it is never their fault.
          Just my take on what you have described.

      3. Quasi,

        Oh my gosh! You’re exactly right! It fits very well that it was about power & control and his smile was from my reaction to the pain and slight fear.

        Also I didn’t think about strangers fuel from the dogs accident!

        I’ll have to be more specific when I ask questions in the future too.

        Thank you so much!!

      1. Primarily: Inflicting pain, harming or allowing a pet to be harmed, smiling as you, even slightly, for a second, cause pain.

        Additionally: Hating.

      2. I know these things are the victims fault, not the narcissists, etc, but your site is about exposing and explaining narcissism.

        That is the piece of the puzzle I don’t understand. If you haven’t developed empathy as a child, why have you developed evil emotions or tendencies, like inflicting pain?

      3. I don’t think you appreciate my questions, so I’ll drop off of your website forever, but I hope you’ll answer my question first.

        Could it be one of these reasons:

        1. Evil was learned from the narcissistic parent.

        2. We inherit part of our personalities from our parents & ancestors, maybe some inherit a gene for narcissism and evil.

        3. A narc used to project this telepathic trance on me. The first time he did it, I felt a very dark, very evil something that scared me.

        Sorry if I come off too strong, I’m really not mean.

        1. There’s no need to throw the rattle from the pram Kelly.

          1. Most narcissists do not consider their behaviour evil because to them they see what they do as a response to the provocation from the victim because of the narcissistic perspective. I know my behaviour has been described as evil, but some of the ‘evil’ I commit produces good. It is a complex subject, the concept of good and evil and it is difficult to go into detail about it within the confines of the blog comments owing to time constraints.
          2. Narcissism is a product of genetic predisposition and environment, so in part I agree.
          3. I cannot comment as this is not something I recognise. That is not said to invalidate your own perception, merely I am not in a position to add anything.

      4. Out of necessity?? Why is getting joy out of inflicting physical pain a necessity? Narc feel pain – it’s an emotion they have. Why is physically harming a pet necessary? If your image needs to be admired or you need someone to emotionally give you attention, why would your image benefit from watching someone feel pain? That’s evil.

        Narcissists have so much good in them, but they’re controlled by something else. Please explain.

      5. Thank you. I understand it better from your explanation. And pets would be sympathy, excitement, getting rid of a nuisance, pet fuel. If it’s more about that than just evil, it’s still rotten! but got it.

        It’s good to get the rules to the game we didn’t know we were playing!

  6. I was watching something about high profile cult leaders and narcissism. How when the N started losing control there was a melt down and these leaders literally had every one killed either by coercing them into suicide or having them shot. In the case of Jim Jones 917 people were killed in Jonestown, a compound he created. He even had a congressmen shot when his compound came under scrutiny. Curious what your thoughts are in this regard HG.

    1. Part of my closure is to send my (now) escaped well self back to comfort that exhausted scared self.
      To take the narc readers out of my medicine bag & place them firmly on her face.
      If I had stayed he would of killed me and I’m sure he would of found a way to blame it on me!

  7. What about a scenario with a lesser who is currently facing serious felony charges and many legal barriers? Would they act maliciously like the greater to remove the appliance in this case?

  8. HG,

    I recently discovered that one of my (former?) platonic male friends is a narcissist, and probably a very calculating one. When I confronted him about his duplicity, he of course commenced the silent treatment immediately. He hadn’t blocked me last I checked and continued to read every message I sent before I fully realized what I was dealing with, but refused to respond. I find this state of affairs confusing, as it seems like if he hated me he would simply block me and be done with it, and certainly not read my messages. It also seems like now, knowing that he is not what he says he is, I would be a threat to him. However, I see in hindsight that I was an absolutely excellent and consistent source of supply/fuel, and he knows that I was still very fond of him at the time he cut me off. Can you enlighten me as to what a narcissist feels toward a person like me in this scenario?

      1. I have been debating with my friends as to whether or not this devaluation is a permanent condition. I have argued that it is probably not, as I was a very high-quality supply source, and I suspect I was a candidate for replacing his primary supply at the time of our parting ways. In spite of having figured out the major part of his strategy, I certainly didn’t suggest that I had emotionally turned away from him — in fact, quite the contrary. This, along with the fact that he hasn’t blocked me and was still obtaining fuel from reading my messages and probably from punishing me, suggests to me that I will likely hear from him in the future. Do you think this is an accurate assessment? There is a situation coming up in the next few months where I may need to deal with this person in a business situation, so I’m trying to approach this strategically.

    1. To provoke a response to gain fuel, to demonstrate the grandiosity of how you are perceived as our object to possess, to sow the seeds of hope.

      1. Thank you so much!! I have spent a lot of time analyzing that one before your answer. Thank you for clarifying that!
        All it sowed were seeds of confusion and later a response (in my closure contact) of “I will say hi if I see you.”

  9. HG,
    Can you enlighten me about the provision of character traits. I do not believe I understand correctly? Thank you!

    1. Pale Horse

      If you have not read Sitting Target I would recommend reading it. It hold a wealth of information on why one is targeted and so much more.

    2. Hi Pale Horse, I always find that a difficult one, too. A clear explanation I’ve once got on this is the following:

      In the narcissistic reality, others do not exist as other persons. Only the narcissist is real.
      So what actually happens when you have become a supply, is that the narcissist subsumes you in his/her persona – as an extension of his/her self.
      Since you are now part of the narcissists persona, he/she can use your character traits for his/her own facade (and you are thus providing those traits to the narcissist).

      That is how it has been explained to me. I hope HG approves and I hope it helps.

  10. Pingback: Why The Narcissist Wants You Dead ⋆

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