Questioning Me
Do feel free to ask me anything you like. I am here for you to dip into my mind and for you to benefit from learning how I view the world. No question is off limits and if you want to establish a dialogue with me, then so much the better. You will be helping me so I can show the treatment team that I am interacting with people in this setting. You can ask me why I do certain things, what am I thinking, what my favourite food is, whatever you like. This is your chance to extract as much knowledge and information from me as you possibly can. If you want to just make a statement, go ahead. Fill your boots. I don’t know you so I won’t fly into a rage (this does happen when people I know question me but that is because they have an agenda – you don’t because we don’t know one another). I look forward to hearing from you.
11,861 thoughts on “Questioning Me”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Mr. Tudor,
I’m so intrigued by your video on Mikey McCoy! There was no startle reflex at all. I would’ve found the situation unnerving & unsettling. He didn’t even try to feign being unnerved or unsettled. He was calm. Is it possible that he’s a psychopath?
It is a possibility or perhaps he was like Brad Pitt in Snatch.
Thanks for asking, Leigh. I was wondering about what sounded like psychopathic behavior at the very least.
HG is Shamima Begum a genuine victim of grooming?
To me, she lacks empathy
Abso fucking lutely not.
Love the answer HG. 🤣 I thought the same as you Witch.
Thank you HG
Because I’ve been seeing recent videos on social media of people saying she was only 15 she should be allowed to come back – but I disagree because she doesn’t seem normal to me at all, so I just wanted confirmation that I am right
She deserves no sympathy whatsoever and she’s certainly not a normal.
Then I hope she is never allowed back, it makes me wonder why European court of human rights is getting involved?
Dear HG and friends on the blog,
I hope everyone had a good Christmas and New Years! Xx
I wanted to update everyone. My surgery date has moved to the 29th of January now, due to some scheduling issue with the surgeon. I’m a bit upset about it for two reasons:
1) All the LOA paperwork that I finished with 5 people now has to be redone because of the change of date for my medical leave of absence. The doctors have to redo paperwork, HR, Hartford and the State now have to be notified and redone. All that work was for nothing.
2)I worry about the prolonged delay of surgery because I worry about it spreading from my lymph nodes.
My anxiety has been kicking my a## over this news and I made calls yesterday, and I have calls I’m waiting on today, especially from the State for the short term they offer to LOA.
I took today off so I could focus on the things I need to get done. I didnt find out this lovely news until late afternoon yesterday. I’m losing my trust and faith in the doctors and told the nurse assigned to me that. I’m being honest about my fear and I really don’t appreciate the surgeon playing Russian Roulette with my cancer in my lymph nodes. It’s how I feel, I’m scared and pissed off now. Xx
I’m sorry for the long comment, HG and thank you for moderating it. I appreciate you and I’m sorry I’m so upset right now and for my long comment. I had a lot to get out. Xx
Rebecca,
Ugh! I’m so sorry to hear this! Its terrible that these doctor’s hold the outcome of our health in their hands. I’m sending hugs and will continue to send positive energy your way. You’re a fighter and survivor, Rebecca! You will beat this!
Hi Rebecca, I’m sorry to read about the procedure being delayed by another week. I understand your thoughts / feelings and how it is contributing to your ET being elevated because of the amount of effort into the arrangements. Some people may struggle to understand it from your perspective, ie, walking in your shoes. I’ll be thinking of you xx
Hi Rebecca,
I’m sorry to hear that your procedure has been delayed. You must be worried sick and to get built up for one date only to suffer a delay must be horrible.
You are forced into a situation where you have extra time to wait. Try to turn it to your advantage if you can. You now have extra time to build yourself up and prepare for battle. That little critter will bite the dust soon enough, a little extra prep time to build your strength up might actually support a faster recovery. Recovery time post op will be very important too.
I know that might sound easy for me to say, I can only imagine how stressed you must feel just now.
Stay strong Rebecca. The critter will be gone in a few short weeks and you’ll be working on getting back to normal.
Xx
Hi Rebecca,
Thank you for the update. I’ve been wondering how things are going for you. I hope you can calm your anxiety somehow, maybe one of HG’s Quick Calm options would help. They’re geared toward narcissism but are generally calming I’ve found. Take good care and keep us posted as you can. 💕
🤭 Love the separation of the word.
HG does the addiction also apply to sociopaths and psychopaths or is it that an addiction is created via the manipulations of these people?
The addiction as I reference it, is to narcissists.
People who feel compelled to declare they’ve moved on really haven’t. It’s just a high handed attempt to appear superior while denying their own participation and to garner sympathy and support. They are still very much stuck in their own pattern.
I liked your comment NA because when people say they’re leaving the blog, I take it as you’ve described “moving on”. Then I realized I had used the words “move on” in a comment to Annaamel, regarding how I respond to comments where I see Jordy attempting to draw me into an interaction. I said, I chuckle and move on, meaning I keep reading other comments. I have not moved on, nor did I intend to say I’ve moved on, from what I see as her nastiness to other bloggers. If I’m very honest about it, I wish she would leave the blog unless she can learn to be polite to everyone.
It costs nothing to be polite.
Does being polite cover the constant noisy bashing of a third party on another person’s blog for three weeks straight after the person in question has left?
Hi Anna Plyance,
“constant noisy bashing of a third party”
In my observation, I think most have aired their grievances in an comparatively civil manner.
And if several individuals happened to have similar grievances with regard to the same behaviours – does that constitute bashing?
“…after the person in question has left..”
I am not aware of any barriers to people, who are currently absent from the blog, from taking part in the discussion.
Anna,
You may know all this already but on the chance you don’t, I’ll ask.
Have you considered joining and posting in the Knowing HG forum?
You seem to like logical discussions, and that’s the meat of that section. Also, Jordy has many posts there to read and engage with. The focus of conversation is exclusively HG and his story.
It’s rather quiet there now but there’s a lot to read, for one thing, and new conversations are always possible.
Purchasing some of the KHG series gives access. Clue Hunters (the written version) offers 8 out of the 9 parts quite affordably. As do relevant parts of the audio series.
I probably can’t post there for a while but I expect I will again at some point. And when Jordy returns to commenting on the blog I’m sure she will check out KTN too to see if there’s been any additions.
Exactly.
It’s free to be an asshole too unfortunately.
😂
Hi WhoCares,
By noisy I mean the impression that has arisen that these comments have monopolised the blog to an extent. It has been a seemingly neverending stream of complaints. They might have each been civil in tone, although I could make an argument that their content often was not very polite, but the sheer amount and duration, day after day after day, without any new provocation from Jordyguin, is not what I come here to read, and I cannot see that there is much connection to the subject of narcissism (outside of the study of the behaviour of empaths). To me it constitutes an abuse of the space HG offers here and of his time to keep on harping on about this subject for this long. It is also impolite to any other readers who may have no interest in this kind of drama that has been artificially kept alive by one side of the debate for the last three weeks. This whole thread looks like it has turned from “Questioning HG” into “1000 Reasons Why Jordyguin Is Mean And We Are The Good Girls”. Not a very successful operation. The order of a round of mirrors must have been delivered to the table where “The Virtues of Keeping Your Mouth Shut” are sitting.
Hi Jade,
I had missed the below comment for you:
I said, “I think when a mid ranger says they’re a narcissist, its really a blame shift.”
You said, “I’m wondering why they’d do this? I thought maybe pity plays or “blaming” being a narcissist for their bad behaviour? 🤔 It also seems like a transference of power and could make them vulnerable too though…”
It appears to be a transfer of power, but its not. They’re using vulnerability as a weapon in their toolkit to manipulate. The goal is the prime aims. They’ll use being vulnerable as a tool to gain the prime aims, which means they’re still in control.
My mother and husband are both victim narcs and that’s their go to manipulation.
An unaware narcissist that says they’re a narcissist is doing the same thing. They’re using it as a tool to manipulate in order to gain the prime aims. The blame shift comes into play because its not their fault, its the narcissism’s fault.
Ah ok. Thanks Leigh. That makes sense. I guess a lot of my frame of reference is my mum which definitely wouldn’t say that but I can see how others could absolutely use it! 😅 I think most of my suspects are the mealy mouthed, shriveled, walnut balled mid rangers and maybe not victim so much too… I feel like my brain is expanding every day with all I’m learning!
Hi Jade,
I wanted to clear something up here. My mom and my husband have never said they’re a narc either. But they do use being “vulnerable” as a way to control their prime aims are being met. With my mom it manifests as her wanting people to take care if her. She’s been in a nursing home since she’s 65. That’s exactly what she wants because then her prime aims are totally met. She doesn’t care that someone has to change her diaper, bath her & dress her. She wants people to do that for her. She’s using vulnerability but it gives her power & control. By the way, she has her wits about her. She’s very coherent. No dementia at all.
Very helpful Leigh. That makes complete sense and would show the entitlement and lack of accountability side of things. My mum sees being ill as weakness I think (even though was a nurse!) .. it’s subtle but you can feel it when you know, especially since I’ve had chronic pain.. she talks more these days about people with “high pain thresholds”. It’s interesting the variety of ways things manifest…
Hi Jade,
I’m sorry your mom talks about people who have high pain thresholds. I hope it doesn’t bother you too much when she says things like that. When my mom says things that might hurt, I remind myself its the narcissism that’s driving her. It helps to draw a line and detach. Its not my mom saying it, its the narcissism.
Yes, the narcissist’s manipulations can manifest in so many different ways. Have you listened to the Deathbed Series at all? The COVID Soundbites are good too. Its a fun way to learn about how different narcissists manipulate.
Just coming back to this Leigh. As you know I’m not sure about my dads “status” but reading this comment makes me think he did use vulnerability as manipulation. Not in the same way you described with your mum and husband but definitely something in the ballpark 🤔 … And I think he might have had health anxiety too.
But vulnerability wise, he would sometimes pretend to be “dumb” .. he told us this himself.. that he’d do this with his clients sometimes if they were annoyed with him about something he’d done and I know he’s done it to me and others (related to my new comment on the stare thread). I don’t know if he wanted taken care of as such but would download his health worries onto you without thinking of the impact on you (me). He’d often just talk at people generally without thinking of the impact on them or asking about them. My mum does too but clearly the prime aims in my eyes with her.
Every time I peel a new layer of the onion, a new one appears! 😅🧅
And the clearer I start to see them, the more I can see where my over-caretaking and people pleasing developed 🤔
Hi Jade,
I had to chuckle at your “peeling the onion” comment. That’s how I describe it too! LOL!
I think you’re very astute. I also think you’re very compassionate. I know you want to be fair when trying to figure out your father’s status. Could you just look at the dynamic between your father and mother? That might be helpful.
Thanks Leigh. It doesn’t really bother me tbh, like you with your mum, I clearly see that the narcissism is driving it. Thanks for asking though. weirdly I have often said to my husband that I think it is a good thing this has happened because it sealed the deal for me that she’s a narcissist. I can see it’s the narcissism asserting control over the situation. It doesn’t like it because amongst other things it conincided with drastically reduced contact with me / fuel plus her facade and nit seeing her daughter much. I mostly feel quite at peace with my mum now.
Thank you Leigh. Great minds think alike! 🧅 😄
Thank you for your kind comment. ❤️🙏 That is how I try to be. I don’t want to be anyone fool anymore and am a truth seeker but try to be compassionate in the process (I don’t always manage that tho ofc I’m human like us all 😏).
Tbh I know deep down there’s a good chance I’m a double acon. If I was reading what I wrote, I’d be thinking 🚩🚩🚩 lol, not lol! 🥴 I’m happy for you to say if that’s what you’re thinking btw. As you can see, I’m thinking all things from all angles myself.
I think subconsciously me and the siblings put him on a pedestal compared to my mum. But the rest of them still idolise/deny anything bad about both to varying degrees.
My parents together… My mum was “in charge”. Dad said that once to me a few years ago in a rare honest moment “she has to be in charge”. They seemed “happy” but whilst I think she got her way mostly, it was not in a particularly terrible/obviously exploitative way. Your average older couple. He was quite introverted but would just talk at people as mentioned. They’d socialise a fair bit, driven by her and I think both sucked the energy from people in different ways as mentioned. They seem well liked (facade in both?) and a big group of friends (driven by her). Tbh behind closed doors they were both similar to outside but I realise both facades were so good that they’d do things in open sight, in and out of the home. I can see they play and manipulate in a deniable way in front of you, sometimes my dad would obviously help my mum or set things up or do it himself.
A small example that I thought told me a lot… I was shopping with them both at a charity shop. Mum asked dad if they should buy some (drinking) glasses and he said they didn’t need any in reply. I watched mum walk straight up to the till and then buy them (assertion of control). It was not a big deal money wise but odd to me.. I’d listen to my husband, if I asked a question like that. I said “oh mums buying them” to dad. He said “oh well” and then praised her and laughed about what she’d done when she came back to us and told her she was fantastic!
Also mh history with my dad (relate to my recent questions to HG re anti depressants, and suicide attempt issue in COVID.)
So a lot to unpack. He was the “cuddly” one, grandkids and us “kids” loved him but a lot of covert stuff, on his part … I could never rely on him to be honest about his or mum’s behaviour and he did stuff himself and enabled her.
When I challenged him on deserting mum when she was ill in hospital (I understood it was related to health anxiety but asked to talk to us so one of us could take over) he stonewalled me and just stared at me blankly (re previous comment). Mum also deserted him when he was seriously ill and went on holiday rather than hell him recover because… (prime aims)!
So they were as bad as each other a lot of the time to each other or towards us but she looked “worst”. Though apparently I’m the only one that sees any of this (apart from one SIL and my hubby).
Sorry for the essay! V confusing. I doubt he’s an empath really as I said previously but aware I’m “close to” the situation.
Hi Jade,
Yes, once I saw it with my mom, it was done and it was nice to be able to seal the deal. That’s how it is for my narc husband too. I can see them very clearly.
As for you Dad, I asked about your parent’s dynamic because I think looking at their dynamic might be the best way to help you determine your Dad’s status. I don’t want to dissuade or persuade you in either way. I think its best you come to any determination yourself.
Like I said in an comment on the Narcissist’s Stare thread, empaths aren’t angels. I’ve done some really narcy things myself. Normals aren’t angels either. Maybe he’s a normal and only had empathy for his family & close friends. As a normal he’d also have higher narc traits.
What helped me with both my daughters was to ask myself, do I see a pathological need for control? Sorry if that’s not much help.
Thank you Leigh. I’m glad you got there with your husband and mom too.
Yeh I agree re empaths, I’m definitely not an angel .. ask my husband lol. He called me out on some stuff this week that was fair. 🤷♀️ I can be a git for sure ! We’re human. Oh and look after prince harry! 🫤 Or normal.. absolutely.
Thank you. I just wanted you to know I’m ok to talk about it. Re pathological need for control. My gut says no. However he got control in his own way. But again I don’t think pathological. Also, he did apologise before he died. He just had a side that seemed to enjoy stirring, enabling and hurting others as mentioned. Thanks for your help!
Hi Jade,
I’m linking an article & video on false contrition. Maybe you can see if the info here resonates at all.
https://narcsite.com/2025/09/15/never-sorry-the-narcissists-seven-false-contritions-3/
Hi Jade,
I wanted to address your comment regarding your suicide attempt separately. Am I understanding you correctly that you attempted suicide during COVID? If that’s true, I’m very sorry to hear that. I hope you’re okay now. Was it due to the medication, you’re taking? Was it because of the pain you were in? Was it due to the isolation during Covid?
Apologies for the confusing message Leigh. It was my dad not me. I’m not sure completely intentional but nevertheless. I think it all got on top of him. 😕 I mentioned as it has crossed my mind re fuel crisis but I think my gut is not.
Btw Leigh, sorry, I missed the COVID and deathbed narc recommendations from you. I’ll check those out!
That’s great, thank you Leigh. 🙏
Hi Jade,
Oh ok. Thank you for clearing that up for me regarding your Dad. After reading it, I wondered if its possible your father suffered a breakdown due to being ensnared for all those years?
Hi Contagious,
You had asked me about Nick Reiner and I thought it was best to start a new thread.
I don’t know how much is accurate but I read that the Reiners weren’t afraid for their own lives. They were more afraid that Nick would do something to himself and that’s why they brought him to the party the night before they were killed.
In past interviews, Rob had said that he felt he knew best about his son. He said healthcare professionals told him that his son was manipulating him. He had expressed regret for listening to the healthcare professionals and ultimately decided he knew his son best. Its sad that he didn’t realize the extent of Nick’s sickness. It cost him and his wife’s life.
If I had to take a wild guess, I’d say Rob Reiner had some CoD in his makeup and didn’t want to see the truth about his son. That’s probably why Nick still lived on the property.
I see their now saying that Nick was on a new medication for schizophrenia. I’m assuming that towards an insanity plea. I hope not. I definitely see ASPD in Nick. I’m curious if he’s a psychopath or sociopath though. I’m looking forward to more info from Mr. Tudor on this.
TS,
I want to apologize. I didn’t just bring up my concerns because of other bloggers, I was also concerned for you. When I saw you weren’t concerned, I should’ve dropped it.
I’m sorry I carried on about it. I’ll zip my lip now. I hope you have Happy New Year!
Hi TS,
I’m going to respond here to your last comment.
You said, “What makes me uncomfortable is when commenters pool grievances together as a group, rather than each commenter raising their grievances independently of each other. That’s a personal preference but I think it’s more difficult to resolve things that way.”
I don’t see anyone pooling grievances against Jordy though. Contagious thinks Jordy’s an empath and wants me to work on getting along with her. AA thinks she’s a super empath. You’re supporting her. Other bloggers are supporting her as well. AV is supporting me but that’s because Jordy has said things to her too.
As for LET, after that whole debacle on the Key to Entry Thread, she stopped commenting. Like you, I do hope it was because she decided she wanted to enjoy her knew responsibilities of being a grandma.
I didn’t want to ignore your last comment. I respect you too much to do that. But I don’t think I want to talk about Jordy anymore.
Hi Leigh,
I’m winding down on it too. I will respond to Annamel’s comment but I think I’ve said as much as I have to say on it.
I’m glad you mentioned the name of the thread where LET left. I thought it was a discussion that took place on a ‘What the Codependent Empath Does’ thread. I did go back and read those, Jordy was active on one of them but it was clearly not the discussion you were referring to.
I also agree with Annamel, I didn’t see anything in your comment to me other than concern. No need to apologise at all, all good.
Here’s what started it all:
https://narcsite.com/2023/06/05/knowing-the-narcissist-the-key-to-entry/#comment-444046
Hi TS,
One more thing, I do agree that my comments haven’t always been flawless or innocent. I know I can be pointed and provocative as well sometimes.
Hi Leigh,
I know you were concerned, it’s all good 🙂
You too. I hope you have a Happy and narc silent New Year!
Xx
Fwiw, Leigh, I don’t believe you owe TS any apology. You politely queried her position and when her response frustrated you that came out in your subsequent responses to her. It’s okay to have strong feelings and articulate them. You didn’t say an anything offensive or even abrasive to TS in my opinion.
Thank you, AA!
I wanted to apologize because I can be like a dog with a bone sometimes. Even if its well intentioned, its not necessarily the right thing to do.
Maybe us empaths find it harder when others aren’t on the same page even if it’s ok to not to be on the same page? 🤔
Happy New Year and best wishes for 2026, everyone!
Happy New Year, WhoCares and to everyone! Xx
Happy New Year, Rebecca!
Better late than never.. happy new year all! 🥳
Happy New Year, HG! Happy New Year to all!
Watching the fireworks around the world has been impressive so far.
Sydney’s fireworks were beautiful as usual. This year they were tinged with sadness as well, but it was reassuring to see that Sydney-siders and tourists alike turned out in droves to watch them.
London’s fireworks were amazing. I love the way the London Eye is used to great effect.
May 2026 be a fantastic year for everyone!
Thank you.
Dear Mr Tudor and lovelies,
Wishing you all a very Happy New Year for 2026
Thank you Mr Tudor for your continued fascinating educational content
Sincerest best wishes to everyone
Thank you.
Happy new year HG! Thank you for all of the material you have provided this year and before. Happy new year to all! I wish you all many blessings.
You’re welcome.
There seems to be a lot of short term memory abound. Especially from those crying foul the loudest and for whom. It’s an interesting dynamic to observe. A round of mirrors bartender!
Thank you NA for always letting your logic and open mindedness’s prevail. Happy New Year to you and everyone on the blog! A special Happy New Year to you HG, may you have a prosperous and fueled New Year! Xxx
Happy New Year to you too FoolMe1Time xx
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year, FM1T! 💚
Happy New Year, Who Cares and everyone else on here. Xx
Well NA, since I’m the one crying foul the loudest, I’m interested to hear what I’m forgetting. What did I do to Jordy to warrant her attack on several other bloggers?
Hi Leigh,
Just a quick note that may help…
If a fellow blogger’s comment is ambiguous and is not addressed to anyone specifically, there’s no need to jump to conclusions and take the comment personally or literally.
If a fellow blogger makes this kind of ambiguous, accusatory comment to no-one in particular on a regular basis, then it says more about them than it does about you.
Wishing you a Happy New Year! 😊🥂
Thank you, WN!
“If a fellow blogger makes this kind of ambiguous, accusatory comment to no-one in particular on a regular basis, then it says more about them than it does about you.” – You’re so right!
I hope you have a happy new year as well!
You’re welcome, Leigh, and thanks also for the New Year wishes.
I hope everyone here – HG and all bloggers have a Happy New 2026.
Hey Leigh: How do you know you are being called out? Btw not naming people, innuendos, using narc terminology… it’s negative and wrong. As empaths, let’s start with empathy and end with empathy. Happy New Years!
Contagious,
You’re right! I don’t know I’m being called out. But since I’m calling foul the loudest right now, I assumed it was me.
Well…. Assume the best not the worst! I wish you every happiness in the New Year!
Hey NA – on the subject of rounds…I know a suggested summer drink of yours, but what do you recommend to accompany the recent blast of Canadian frost/rain/blizzard crap that we had?
I love the snow, but I thought it would never stop blizzarding the other day…
Hi WhoCares
Forty Creek Butter Tart Cream Liquor over ice. Or ice cream.
Canadian and comforting.
NA – sweet! Thanks.
I actually partook in original Forty Creek & Canada Dry last night…sooo, mostly Canadian.
Though my teeth quake at the thought, I may have to try the Butter Tart Cream Liqueur. Sounds perfectly indulgent over ice cream.
Happy New Year to you, NarcAngel.
A snowball, WC? #the80s 🧑🎤
Jade – Haha!
I had no idea what a snowball is…had to look it up.Maybe I’ll have to expand my drinking repertoire.
Oh, and thank-you for assisting me in avoiding conflict!
Lol WC. very fashionable with Brits in the 80s! I don’t think you’ve missed much 😉
And you WC ✌️
Just to confuse things ! I’m going to change my name here to “two” (as in Jade 2.0) .. just me being a paranoid Polly! 😶🌫️
Happy new year all ♥️
Happy New Year to you two!!
Thank you who cares!
Love two ✌️😄
NA, loved the ‘mirrors’ reference……only the shards would be useful due to selected character traits acquisition, not necessarily the ‘whole’ mirror. Good to ‘see’ you. Have a Happy New Year x
NA,
For what its worth, I know I wasn’t innocent in the disagreement we had. I know it was my fault and it was based on my own insecurities.
When I said I was innocent, I’m meant specifically with Jordy.
I’ve apologized to you and I’ve tried to make it right. I’m not sure what else I can do at this point.
But your comment doesn’t change how I feel about this current situation with Jordy.
Leigh
My comment came from observations over time and involve a number of different people. Jordy is the latest focus, and there has been much made of her comments. Particularly towards WN and Annamel for example, but I also recall both of those individuals being called out as abusive in their comments towards others at points in the past by some of the same offering to their defense now. Thats just one example of apparent fickle short term memory. Also, the claims of addressing things for the sake of newcomers seems a bit disingenuous at times. When recently a comment of mine was misinterpreted, it was ARYA (relatively new commenter at the time) that stated she saw no offense in what I stated and that (gasp) she could identify with it. Is it honestly concern for newcomers? I don’t think so. Discussions about how we are all different, and varied opinions are welcomed and keep things spicy….blah blah
Except when it’s (enter name of person not cared for here), oh and her, oh and I don’t like the way you said that, and I don’t think you are setting a good example by interacting with (x)……..
The lists goes on, but we’re all free to say what we want right? Laughable.
I’m not asking you to do anything Leigh. I never said you did anything to cause Jordys comments to others that you (and others) may have found abusive or in poor taste. I just find the scapegoating of Jordy hypocritical. You have apologized to me previously, but return to assuming that when I comment I am calling you out specifically when I am not. This points (to me) to a prejudice in how you receive my contributions. My comment was a general reminder that we can all use a mirror from time to time to REFLECT instead of projecting and deflecting.
NA,
The definition of a
scapegoat is an individual or group unfairly blamed for the faults or problems of others.
You and I will have to disagree because I believe Jordy brought this on herself.
But like I said to TS, I don’t want to talk about Jordy anymore.
I wasn’t upset with you on that comment where Arya supported you. I actually thanked you for the comment because you gave me food for thought with regards to my daughter. But I did have a different interpretation than what you meant. But I still wasn’t upset.
You’re right though. I don’t know how to take your comments to me. Sometimes I feel like your comments are a dig on me.
I know that’s not your problem though, its mine.
Also, since I’m the one coming to AA & WN’s defense now, I have to say I don’t ever recall calling AA or WN abusive. I do believe they’re straightforward and direct. I’ve also disagreed with them at times. But I don’t ever recall calling them abusive.
I’m going to need proof that I’ve called them abusive because I don’t think that’s true. I own my words, NA.
Dearest NA,
Hi n Happy New Year to you lovely one
Where there’s mirrors, there’s usually smoke, cough cough
Anyhoo, must dash, Mr Bubbles and I are off to open a childcare day centre in Minnesota…… cough cough🏖️😉
Surely a Learing Centre?
Dear Mr Tudor,
Without a doubt, the signs say so and includes a bonus direct line to the Governor
I read childcare centres did well in Sweden for a time.
If not, buying a church these days in Australia includes substantial benefits from the govt, goody. I could turn them into childcare centres, then Mr Bubbles and I could go retire in Ibiza and sip Pina Coladas. I learnt Spanish eons ago, it would be a win win. Hehe
Hi HG and Bubbles,
I’ve watched the Nick Shirley viral video about fraudulent Somali-owned and operated day-care and health-care centres in Minnesota.
I also watched a CNN news report about Nick Shirley’s video.
In the CNN news report, Nick Shirley said himself in an interview with a CNN reporter and I quote:
“I’m not here to say this is a left or right issue, but no, fraud is fraud. I’m not out here trying to put a twist on things.”
Even though Nick Shirley said these actual words in the CNN report, he was repeatedly called “a MAGA content creator” or “a MAGA YouTuber.”
In addition, the CNN report mentioned that Elon Musk and JD Vance retweeted Nick Shirley’s video and their tweets were shown. Both claimed the fraud was caused by Democrats.
While watching Nick Shirley’s viral video, I saw him and the Minnesotan man with him talk about the corrupt Somalis and the millions in government funding grants they were fraudulently receiving for over a decade. In the video, the two men did not make the corruption into a republican or democrat issue.
I think there is a knee-jerk reaction in the US mainstream media that automatically twists an issue into a black and white argument pitting democrats and republicans against each other. It just obscures the actual problem.
The irony is that the corrupt Somalis are taking advantage of the political hotbed of division.
Instead of working together to stop fraud and investigate the Somali-run operations, the mainstream media is sensationalising divisions between the political right and left. And it’s telling that the mainstream media is being exploited by at least two very wealthy and well-known Republicans.
It is almost like a narcissist having the two romantic parties fighting one another rather than the narcissist…..
WN,
“The irony is that the corrupt Somalis are taking advantage of the political hotbed of division.”
The corrupt Somalis who have been and are being allowed to play out their corruption by Democrat players in MN government, some Somali and some not. The Republicans in MN have been the ones finding, investigating and hopefully bringing enough evidence for prosecution regarding the corruption. All fingers are starting to point directly back to Walz, Ellison, Omar at the top, with many lesser knowns below them, many of whom are Somalian. Whichever side I’ve personally voted on makes no difference, I’m glad this corruption is being uncovered and I don’t care who’s uncovering it. There are too many in MN struggling to pay basic living expenses because we are taxes over the top, and to learn that it’s been given to a foreign and/or illegally here people group, that’s a whole nother story, as it seems to have been, to the tune of up to 18 BILLION dollars last estimate I have heard, I’m furious. I hope they’re all locked up and have to work the rest of their pitiful lives to repay the people of my beautiful state.
Okay end of rant. Just know, it’s bad here, we had a surplus when Walz was elected, now we are far in the hole. Someone needs to do something to stop the bleed, and fast.
Dear WN and A Victor,
Many thanks to you both for your insightful added information. I have seen a couple of Nick Shirley interviews and I’m glad he has unleashed this corruption. I agree, every little thing is being tainted with a political agenda, I believe to create more division amongst the masses, which is part of this big game play. I saw Welz being interrogated by a chap on a committee and Welz acted so dumb and in denial……of course he did haha
What I find fascinating is, it’s been reported the Somalians have an average IQ of 67/68.
I wish I was that smart haha 😜
Please AV, rant as much as you wish, all this corruption needs to be exposed along with all these corrupt narcissistic political players.
Your hard working tax dollars are being handed to “these people and some” on a silver platter with servants wearing white gloves !
Australian people are being taxed to the hilt as well, along with being priced out of buying a house. The same is happening all over the west. There is definitely “dirty work at the crossroads” on a grandiose scale. If you’re an illegal, it’s all free !!!!!
It has, is and will always be about money, power and most importantly …… control !!!!!
Ps
I saw Mamdani’s inaugural speech (almost like a Presidential speech, heaven forbid) and have taken note of some of his newly appointed, questionable team players. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
To me, Mamdani comes across as “waaaaaaaaay tooooooo nice”, but so do all narcissists !
🎼So long, farewell, Auf Weidersehen goodbye, New York New York, you will soon begin to cry 🎼
Hi AV,
You’re totally justified in saying what you have said. Your rant is understandable.
I didn’t realise you are in Minnesota. If I lived in Minnesota, I would be furious too. I’m in disbelief and angry about the fraud exposed by Nick Shirley and I’m on the other side of the world.
I can’t believe that the fraud committed by mainly Somali immigrants has been allowed to happen. Where are the public regulators? Where are the auditors and accountants who work for the funding bodies? And where are the regulatory checks and balances in place before grant funding is approved and paid?
It’s glaringly obvious that nobody in the video who was questioned about their ‘daycare centre’ or ‘healthcare centre’ is a qualified childcare operator or doctor or nurse. How can a ‘business’ be incorporated and move in to the same address as multiple other similar businesses with no questions asked?
The lack of oversight and regulation in the Minnesota fraudulent activity is mind-boggling.
It’s like highway robbery allowed to happen in full sight of the whole community and everyone just walks by.
Hi again AV,
Before learning of the Minnesota frauds exposed by Nick Shirley, I did not know anything about Walz, Omar and Ellison in relation to Minnesota’s government.
After reading a few articles about Ilhan Omar and also her husband, Tim Mynett, it hasn’t taken long to get an idea of what she is …
Back in April, 2019, Omar was investigated over alleged campaign finance violations.
At the time, three allegations were made by Minnesotan state representative Steve Drazkowski. He claimed Omar had improperly accepted a speaking fee. He also alleged that Omar had used $6,000 in campaign funds for a private divorce lawyer and for private trips to Estonia and Massachusetts.
Drazkowski stated to the Sinclair media group that: “I had observed a long pattern. Representative Omar hasn’t followed the law. She’s repeatedly trampled on the laws of the state in a variety of areas, and gotten by with it.”
Other allegations claimed by Drazkowski relate to controversies surrounding Omar’s marriages.
(Of course, republican candidates are just as capable of trampling on laws and getting away with it, though.)
Despite the allegations at the time, Omar was elected as State Representative of the 5th congressional district.
It would be very interesting if HG placed Ilhan Omar under the Tudorscope.
Hi HG,
It does appear that way. It seems they sensationalise headlines for the drama. The ‘news’ becomes like a daily political mudslinging contest.
Hi Bubbles,
I’m really glad as well that Nick Shirley has exposed the corruption in Minnesota that is mainly perpetrated by Somali immigrants.
I have watched another one of his videos about the rise of Islam in Minnesota and it was confronting.
I would like to know, though, what will happen when the taxpayer dollars run out?
I don’t want to make this an argument between ‘Christians’ and ‘Muslims’ because I don’t think that all people in Minnesota are religious or adhere to religious beliefs.
Instead, I’ll frame it in terms of ‘Western’ customs and ‘Muslim’ customs.
When the taxpayer dollars run out because Western customs are declining, what will happen then? Who will run legitimate businesses, manufacturing, innovation, technology, education, medical facilities, transportation, policing, first responder services, entertainment and sporting facilities, local council services like water treatment, waste collection, city planning, environmental policies, etc etc?
What a debacle.
WN,
I was a little surprised that you were able to find anything like that about Omar but I am glad. She’s been under investigation here for years. I would love to hear what HG would say about her but I think there might not be enough interest to make it worth his time.
Hi again HG and Bubbles,
By the way, I want to be clear that I am not defending Somalis by saying this.
Australia has its own issues with Somali immigrants.
In the viral video by Nick Shirley, the Somalis he questioned played dumb, as though they were born yesterday and couldn’t understand plain English. Meanwhile, they’re blatantly and brazenly defrauding US government funding.
In Australia, there are Somali men who have multiple wives and then have numerous children with each wife – and they are more than capable of understanding how Australia’s welfare system works. They exploit welfare to obtain unemployment and medical benefits while continuing to have upwards of five or six children per wife.
Meanwhile, their children are known to run rampant and join gangs. These gangs have teens wielding machete knives. Sometimes they fight each other with machete knives in shopping centres in broad daylight.
In recent years, there have been terrifying home invasions at night where groups of teens break into people’s homes while the home-owners are sleeping. They steal cars and other items as they terrorise home-owners.
… and this kind of activity is largely funded by the Australian taxpayer.
Just saying that you’re not alone in your comments and perceptions.
I think that making it a political ‘left/right’ issue doesn’t address the actual problem.
Personally, I have worked and paid taxes since I was a teenager. I paid my own way through University and worked hard to pay mortgages and earn for the things I have – all while paying taxes.
Throughout my life, each elected government – regardless of political party – has been like a parasite. The bills and taxes have kept landing in my letterbox. The more that average working people work hard to avoid having to claim any kind of welfare, the more they get punished for it.
All governments need to wake up.
Dearest WN,
Could not agree more, well said lovely
Happy New Year everyone!
2025 has been good fun, and I am looking forward to a narc free 2026.
Special thanks to you, HG, for all your efforts. You make it much easier for all of us to understand and navigate narc waters.
Lots of love to everyone.
PS: I have read your comments, they have been very interesting! I will answer as soon as I find the time!
Thank you.
Happy New Year HG and to everyone on the blog! Xx❤️❤️
I wasn’t aware you’d moved to Sydney?
Rebecca’s bunked in with Wiser Now, Bubbles and I. We’re already in tomorrow. You’ll never catch us.
Already have.
You live in my world.
Dear HG,
You know I arrive early to everything, even my birth! 😄
It’s those fast skates I got for Christmas! 😄
I convinced Santa I was good this year, a little extra cookies made it happen! 😄xx
Hi Annaamel! Xx😄
Dear HG,
My fast skates are keeping me just out of reach! 😄xx
Dear annaamel,
Wouldn’t that be a hoot ? Hehe
Happy New Year Rebecca! X
Happy New Year, Contagious! Xx
Happy New Year, to you HG.
Thank you.
Happy New Year, HG! Xx
Thank you.
Hi HG:
I sent you a Netflix documentary on Ruby Franke and Jody hildebrant ( suspended psychologist and life coach). LDS in Utah. They were like a cult with 2.4 million followers and 1 billion views. Bishops referred men for porn addiction ( defined as watching it once a year by Jody). They seemed to believe they were living prophets or separated and destroyed families and were arrested for child abuse. Jody’s police interviewers are astonishing. She talks of empathy, she seems logical and authentic. But the proof is in the pudding. What they did to children… cruelty, malnutrition, isolation, tying them up, duct tape. Emotional abuse. Her blog starts “ I love children. I love your children.” It’s frightening and sickening. It would be a great YouTube series. Happy New Years and thank you for your work!
Contagious,
Just in case you missed it at the time, here is the link to the video HG created about them, titled “Ruby Franke & Jodi Hildebrandt : Narcissists”
Thank you for posting this, AP! I didn’t see this either!
Hi HG, I just relistened to the smirk video. I feel like it sunk in properly this time. The explanation about how our ET works in this scenario is really helpful too. It reminded me of watching people on coke.. they’d get that look. I’m guessing there’s similarities?
Or you’ve observed a coke using narcissist.
God you’re good HG! 🫨 Yup. He’s one of my major “suspects”.
Dear Jade,
What “smirk” video might that be please ?
Many thanks
Here you go Bubbles!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akKoE-ydP28
I’m joining you all in Sydney btw. I lived there in my twenties and still miss it. Especially when it’s winter here 🏖️
Dear Jade,
Kind thanks lovely for the link you were referring to, I’ve just finished listening to it. Refreshers are a must to keep one on one’s toes at all times. A “smirk” can go unnoticed in a nano second eg Erika Kirk, TOW
Haha that would be great, the more the merrier. How exciting you lived here in your twenties (working holiday)? Aussies are a pretty chilled layback lot and heaps of fun.
Opposite seasons are definitely interesting hehe
Thank you again and my very best wishes for 2026 lovely
WhoCares
https://narcsite.com/2015/09/29/questioning-me/comment-page-26/#comment-467797
regarding your last paragraph, I agree and thank you for sharing your thoughts. Some people can ‘see’ the ‘hurt’ in others yet do not rein it in, no matter the placing they sit on the narcissism to empath spectrum. I ‘see’ the consistency in your support towards those that you offer your support to. Some people can be too ‘selective’ in that regard, so, to me, it also lacks consistency. Have a good New Year xx
Asp Amp,
“Some people can ‘see’ the ‘hurt’ in others yet do not rein it in, no matter the placing they sit on the narcissism to empath spectrum.”
Disheartening, but accurate.
I appreciate your comment. Have a Happy New Year too, Asp Amp. 💜
I think that’s the not I find hard to understand. 🤔
Hi Truthseeker!
I’m having scrolling trouble, so I am moving our conversation to a fresh thread.
“Using Saviour as an example. Years ago Saviour would activate and I would fly into the fray. It was a reactive response, just something I did…” You’ve said that you’re a saviour empath. Do you think that flying into the fray had to do more with being an unaware majority saviour? I would guess that majority carrier would grab up the burden or a martyr would go to any length to address the need. A majority geyser is going to fountain with fuel. A magnet will ? (genuinely, I don’t quite know because Mr. Tudor says that they are not as quick to take an action as other empaths)
“I don’t see any school, cadre or trait as a particular weakness in and of itself. I just think having an awareness of the trait in play means that it might perhaps be used in a more considered way.” — That makes sense. I know that some get used, but I don’t mind. It doesn’t bother me the vast majority of the time. It doesn’t get me into trouble the vast majority of the time.
“I’m afraid I run cold. Likely because Geyser is absent in me…what I do say is targeted and it’s delivered calmly.” — That’s interesting. It’s quite different from me. I am very non-reactive to any source of strong anger. I don’t realize that I am angry or hurt often for a while. But you are reacting in the moment. I will react alone or explain with high expression if a friend asks. But the person who hurt me…they rarely find out. If they know what hurts you, they won’t stop. I think that is something that freaks me out about people like Mr. Tudor. I mean him as the Ultra and Greaters. He has shared the stories. I believe them. My likely friendship level ensnarement (No NDC, so I call it likely) was not like what Mr. Tudor describes doing; the probable narc liked to say she was like that while also saying she was a victim of people doing the same to her. I’ve compared the quality of the two before. Mr. Tudor is Opera Torte (a complex dessert with many elements and a flavor that is reliant on the ingredient quality–he is top tier). The former friend has the quality of a fast food cookie or a Twinkie, particularly by way of comparison.
“…how effective my cold anger is would depend on my position in the fuel matrix, length of exposure, number of occurrences, plus duration of time spent with that particular narcissist. I also think school and to a lesser extent cadre of narcissist would have a lot of bearing on how ‘effective’ I am in that situation.” — that makes sense.
“Do you think the traits that you find more difficult to spot in yourself are traits that you feel were most responsible for your past ensnarements? Are they perhaps traits that led to behaviours you feel embarrassed by or that you perceive as weaknesses maybe?” — I am going to think on these. I may need a few days. But I will hopefully have my thoughts together by this weekend…possibly this evening.
Hi Dani,
New thread, thank goodness!
I think flying into the fray more often was likely due to unawareness yes, in part. Less requirement for Saviour as of late. I also think it had something to do with the fact that for some reason, I feel ‘stronger’ than most, somehow better placed to deal with the shit storm. I’m stubborn and not particularly fearful so my assumption is always that I’ll be ok. I’ve done some dumbass stuff in my time, like going to collect my boyfriend’s best friend, mid brawl on a dance floor. I can see him now, red faced, hair all mussed up, buttons missing off his shirt. They all just kind of stopped mid swing, haha! To be fair, I’d likely still do that today but in other circumstances I’m likely to be more considered before getting involved. I actually think the friend was an Upper Lesser A Twinkie!
In terms of Magnet, I think they would try to talk, charm and humour their way out of situations.
That’s very interesting that you lock down in the face of anger so as not to show that you are hurt. I think that’s very sensible. It’s similar to how I was with my mum as a kid, I would say nothing and look through her. More to do with stubbornness and not giving her what I sensed she wanted, rather than concealing the fact I was hurt. I wasn’t hurt for the most part, I didn’t really feel too much at all, I was more like an observer than a participant I think. I do see the logic there Dani, I wonder if pride is driving that response. Fear maybe?
No rush on the questions, no need to reply if you don’t feel comfortable, just something that sprang to mind when reading your previous comment.
Xx
Hi Dani and TS, just to join here to say I’m a lock downer in the face of hurt too. Mix of nature and nurture I’m sure but also I think we learn that it’s better not to show what hurts, or “they’ll” just continue to use it 🤔
Hi Jade,
I believe HG has said that it is not possible for us to hide our reactions from narcissists. Though possibly he was only referring to himself. There have been discussions here and there on the blog about minor facial and voice changes that narcissists seem to be particularly tuned in to. And they also often know how we will respond ahead of time anyway, though I think their fuel comes from seeing it in action.
A long time ago I decided that I won’t allow myself to be concerned with giving them fuel, as disgusting as it feels when I know it’s happening. But instead, if it happens, I’ve learned how to get out of situations and away from the narc as quickly as possible.
It is one reason that I sometimes find interviews difficult to listen to. Much as I love HG for what he’s done for me, and I also understand where the empath is coming from, when I see/hear a massive fuel dump, it still makes me queasy. I really miss Doug, though there was fuel there, it wasn’t dumped in the same way, possibly because he was a straight man. Those were some great interviews.
When people know that they’re doing this, as bloggers often do, it does not affect me the same way. Then it is a choice, one that I have made at times also.
Good point AV. I recall reading that here too, I think all narcs as well. I think we adjust when younger hoping it will help in situations with narcs but as HG says, ultimately it doesn’t.
Yes, your approach is wise. I knew I’d be giving my mum fuel when I met her a few months ago, but I kept it as short as I could. I had a few buffer people but think more is needed in future too! We live and learn.
It’s interesting what you said about “fuel dumps” I haven’t noticed that but can understand why you’d feel uncomfortable. I’ll keep an eye out.
DOH I forgot my new name! 🤦♀️
Hi AV,
I agree that we can’t completely hide our reactions. Certainly not when we’re physically present with the narcissist. But there are situations that can reduce the ability fuel…
Talking on the phone instead of in person…etc.
I am sure I have facial responses and other responses that can’t be turned off. But I can say nothing or pretend to not notice how horrible they are confessing that they devalued me when they are confessing over the phone…
Hi AV,
I feel very similar about fuel. I’m unconcerned about giving fuel. It is what is. Every interaction gives them fuel. I look at it as a transaction. I have the interaction, give then fuel and then keep it moving.
Hi Dani, I agree, we can probably minimize.
My mom tried to get fuel over text, my preferred way to correspond with people, once. I was out having fun with one of my kids, she knew we were, she sent a panic text about her taxes. It pissed me off enough that I didn’t respond and blocked her for the rest of the night. She could’ve chosen to speak with me in person about it at any point. If she got fuel over it, who knows, I think just the thought that she was stepping into my time with my child, that she was getting a little of the time, counts as thought fuel. But, that’s better than had I responded with the way it made me feel in the moment. I have blocked her on occasion since when I’m out for fun. There are other people who can reach me if I need to know something about her. Anyway, I agree it’s possible to minimize what they get.
I always have to think through why it makes me queasy that they’re getting fuel from me. For me, it feels like a violation, even before I knew about narcissism, it was an icky feeling. And it is them taking something without consent, it’s a boundary transgression. It also isn’t a fair exchange, they take without giving something in return. Now that I understand why it bothered me, it’s been easier to not feel that way when it happens, they’re not actually taking anything and now it is often with consent, so it doesn’t bother me the same way, as long as I keep it limited to my limit, not theirs. Preferable to have NC but not always possible.
Yes, Leigh, that’s how I view it mostly now also. It makes my life less stressful.
Happy New Year, Truthseeker!
I think the cadres that I recognize and like are the ones that got me into trouble with the narc/toxic friend. I was also in a very vulnerable place when I met this person.
I don’t know what drives the conceal response in particular. I think part of the time I may be so shocked by what I am hearing that I don’t know how to react.
Tangentially related…I was thinking about the lady from one of the 100,000 Interviews series. She said she was a four way split between all empath schools and a five way split between all cadres. I have been thinking about what Rebecca said…about retaking the EDC several times because she felt a change in herself. When there are more schools and cadres, is the change less noticeable than when there are fewer? Someone like that one lady (to me) seems to have many more answers that are equally likely…assuming a roughly equal split as she communicated. If she felt a change and retook the test…would her changed answers have a greater possibility of cancelling each other out than say a 50/50 Super/CoD with 33/33/34 Carrier/Saviour/Geyser? If the 50/50 person gets out and stays out of a situation causing ET and driving CoD Geyser responses…what happens?
Any thoughts? (I may think of more later today to add…)
Happy New Year Dani!
“I think the cadres that I recognize and like are the ones that got me into trouble with the narc/toxic friend. I was also in a very vulnerable place when I met this person.”
I can understand your frustration if that is the case. I remember my friend being similarly frustrated by his own empathic traits to start with. He blamed his own empathy for getting him ensnared. This is true in part, our empathic traits are what make us attractive to narcissists but remember, it isn’t the traits that are the problem, it’s the narcissist’s exploitation of those traits.
The fact that you were in a vulnerable place when you met this person, speaks volumes I think. I was similarly vulnerable when I began interacting with online narc. He did me the most damage, likely because I was in that vulnerable place. A prize fighter doesn’t fight when he has flu. There’s a reason for that! I do think we can sometimes underestimate how painful NISS ensnarement can be. Trust is the issue there, we feel that we should be able to trust our friends in a different way to trusting a romantic partner. It’s a different ensnarement that does a different kind of damage.
I think I know the lady you are referring to. She’s lovely. Difficult to say, I have pondered this myself as I was so very low and full of ET when I took the EDC. I suspect that if the lady you mention retook the test she would still have representation in all of the same schools and cadres but there might be slight percentage shifts for each one. So she might not be a perfect quad for example but she would still show all four schools and all 5 cadres.
I don’t know if shifts would be more pronounced in those with fewer schools and cadres. Or, if someone with three schools might retake and suddenly have a fourth school with a tiny percentage. Possibly. I’m tempted to say that there is a little more room for fluctuation in cadres than in schools as cadres are more to do with behavioural preference. I view schools as being rooted in traits and survival mechanisms, so to my mind more fixed than the cadres. I don’t know, that’s just my interpretation.
I pondered retaking and decided against. I think weaponisation has the greatest impact in terms of positive outcomes. I’m less concerned (but still interested) in my schools and cadres now and more focussed on strengthening my own weaponisation. My thinking there is that my schools and cadres are what they are. My empathic nature does not pose me a problem provided that my weaponisation is as upgraded as it can be. For me, my focus lies there. What impact that weaponisation has on schools and cadres is secondary to me as in short, I’m an empath, always will be an empath, I don’t really mind what schools and cadres I belong to.
I can see though that it would be interesting to see what impact weaponisation has on our empathic breakdown.
Dani and TS, a very interesting thread. I also feel like I’m completely different now, although sometimes – in various situations – that idiot in me still unknowingly comes out (I can’t stand her and have little patience for women who courting, serving and groveling towards men with a known profile). It’s as if I’m operating in parallel, on two lines. Sometimes the nice, smiling, compassionate side comes out, but at the same time the critic kicks in, pointing out facts, situations, and events, and I withdraw. It might seem strange that I first “hug someone to my heart” and then five minutes later treat them like air – but ultimately, I don’t care what people think who show up unwanted or get too close.
I love the company of people, with whom I can relax almost completely, talk about anything and everything, give and take in the relationship – without fear of what will be expected in return, be myself, be understood, without any pressure, without second thoughts process about what’s between the lines.
I’m now burning with curiosity to see, what the empathy detector results would be, after a few years 😀 I’d be disappointed if it came out exactly the same, ha ha ha 😀 Although some of my answers would certainly be different – we learn and we age. Perhaps I’ll follow in Rebecca’s footsteps due to my curiosity – myself (pathetic) – but who doesn’t love testing? 🙂
Hi Joa, I agree with what you wrote in your second paragraph.
Hi,
You know what I thought when I read your comment? How much lighter you feel to me, I have you set against a white background in my mind, not because you are an innocent (haha) but because you feel lighter, floaty, kind of.
Whatever has changed, whatever you are doing, keep doing it! I think that’s great, you acknowledge the pull of old habits and move away from them.
This might be the calm that comes from a job well done. The confidence of knowing your daughter is well raised and is capable of standing alone. I imagine that is a huge relief and comfort to you. I worry for my kids more than anything else, they occupy a huge amount of space in my mind. I wonder what will happen to that space when I no longer need to worry in the same way.
Hopefully, I’ll feel lighter, feel a bit floaty and stand against a lot of white walls!
Maybe the operating in parallel is your logical thinking standing beside your emotional thinking? If your logical thinking is now being heard then I think this would perhaps translate to me as ‘calm’ or ‘light’.
Either way, whatever it is, you sound great !
Xx
This is quite an interesting conversation re: changes.
Our thoughts patterns are likely to change over time given the information we have learned here, but I had not given thought to how it may affect the percentages of our empathic makeup.
HG
Do you think taking the Empath and Trait detectors again after a significant length of time here would be beneficial to understanding how weaponization has affected us, or would we likely experience only minimal shifts in percentages?
It is beneficial to undertake them after a passage of time. For many, the changes will be minimal which demonstrates that notwithstanding what has occurred to an individual both in terms of their ensnarement and subsequent weaponisation, their core remained largely similar. In some instances however, substantial changes can be evidence which invariably demonstrates that the period of turbulence had a dramatic impact on the individual concerned and revisiting results when that turbulence has lessened or been eradicated provides insight into the changes that have resulted.
Hi Truthseeker,
Part of it for me isn’t blaming my traits for getting me ensnared…it’s feeling like I must have failed at directions…when others who have shared say that they have 1 or 2 answers they would change and my number is so much higher than that…I must conclude a fault somewhere… And it’s not with the detector…it’s with the test taker. Then there is what I did readily identify…I have a gut feeling about what happens with part…and then the mystery…it all leaves me in a place of not sure what to do…because reasons. I got to the point where I felt like I was never going to submit or find out because of me…and after more than a year with results…I feel like I am still sat on my log, tapping my head and thinking.
I think NISS gets dismissed more easily. I also strongly suspect that I have intermittently served as NIPS…whilst the friend flitted between two-three and zero boyfriends… And blamed me a few times for breakups (generally in a strange positive/negative hybrid). E.g. “I broke up with him because your intuition is always good even when you’re being paranoid.” Alternating between the two really makes sense to me…it fits all the information I understand about both from Mr. Tudor…
Have you taken the weaponized empath detector?
HG
Thank you. I very much appreciate your detailed response.
You’re welcome NA.
Hi Dani,
I understand now, thank you for clarifying. I don’t think it’s ‘user error’ I do think that for some people, (myself included) selecting the most natural response, or the response that you gravitate towards first isn’t quite so straightforward as it sounds. There’s an element of perfectionism involved, not because we want to select the ‘right’ or ‘most acceptable’ answer but because we are dead set on selecting the most truthful answer. I remember thinking “Well, it depends” an awful lot when completing the test. “In some scenarios I might react this way but in others I’d react that way.” I struggle to take a question on ‘face value’ because there are so many moving parts for me in any scenario.
I remember looking at the test a year or so after, maybe a touch longer and thinking that I wouldn’t answer much differently, but I haven’t looked at it recently.
The funny thing is, I’m not all that curious to know how I’ve changed. I’m at ease now when I wasn’t then. That’s more important to me I think. I feel better ‘equipped’ to deal with life in general, including narcs that saunter over in my direction. That weaponisation holds more value and makes more difference to my quality of life than anything else. I can certainly understand people being curious and maybe viewing changes as ‘progress’ in amending behaviours they feel make them vulnerable. I get that, I think perhaps I’ve just reached a point where maybe I don’t see myself as the problem anymore. Or I care less about what people think of me. Or I’m getting old! Who knows? Each to her own.
Crap, I’ll be wearing sensible shoes soon. Brooches.
Yes I took the WED quite early too. I know I’ve definitely changed there. Again, I’m confident I have become more weaponised. The trick there is to keep up to date with all of the material, which I fully intend to do.
It is mind blowing to think how we can occupy various positions in the fuel matrix during the course of ensnarement isn’t it? And often those positions aren’t based on us but on other shifts elsewhere in the matrix. I don’t think I’ve seen any other ‘narc expert’ explain that.
Great question NA, and very interesting response from HG.
Truthseeker,
You seem to have arrived in a very healthy place. I’m glad to hear that. You got me thinking…
How does the place an empath starts from directly impact the travel time and destination? We aren’t all starting from the same place as we look at the Tower of the Knowledge Vault. How does an empath’s vantage point being a rocky out cropping or standing in a frazil filled river or finding their way there by traveling through a carnival house of mirrors impact them? Some may be bloodied from their climb to the rocky ledge and some may be freezing and wet…some may be looking at a hundred versions of a reflection…none particularly flattering.
I have been warned about thinking. Hope all is well for you.
Hi Dani,
That’s the million dollar question right there!
You’re right, we arrive here from a whole range of different life experiences, ensnarements and empathic personality profiles. I’ve read stories here over the years that comparatively have made my own experiences pale into insignificance.
I joined around the same time as another lady, the one I think you referred to in your previous comment. Her story was ‘worse’ than mine. Her progress was also far faster than mine. I remember her telling me that she had reached Zero Impact. I was absolutely elated for her, because she really is a warrior, an amazing person, she truly deserved to feel better. At the same time though, I was still plagued with that horrible sadness that ached into my bones. I told her that I thought I might need to accept the fact that I was always going to ache that way, I might never reach Zero Impact. She told me that I might not. Maybe Zero Impact is different for everyone and my recovery will be personal to me.
What she did there was take the pressure off. She removed expectation of what I should feel and by when. It was the very best thing anyone could have said to me. Honestly, I think I was trying too hard. I was trying to force myself to Zero Impact. It’s a bit like trying to remember a name. You think and think and it won’t come to you. Stop thinking so hard and it suddenly pops into your head.
There’s no set timescale for recovery. It takes as long as it takes. Comparing our path to anyone else’s is pointless, we are all different people with different ensnarements, life experiences, strengths and weaknesses.
Accept that, remove any recovery target you might have in your head and instead just trust the process will get you to where you need to be in time for when you need to be there. You can relax then, you’re on the right path heading in the right direction, so just take your time, read, listen, reflect and put one foot in front of the other.
Sometimes, analysing every detail, reviewing past events from one angle then the other, can keep us stuck in the past, with all of those emotions that go with it. We all want to understand what happened and why, but spending too long in the past can sometimes delay the moving forward part. Sometimes the “because they were a narc,” might have to be enough, or at least in part.
Recovery really is a process. It evolves. I was recovered years ago, I’m more recovered now. Maybe I’ll be still more recovered two years from now. If you look at it like that, you’re always exactly where you should be in the process.
Things I always try to be aware of.
Cross pollution. It’s a massive deal and it keeps ET higher than it needs to be. Flush out any narcs you can, limit contact with those you can’t.
ET fluctuation. Stay out of the past, try to stop revisiting and look forward instead. Yes, at the start we need our answers, but beyond that, let the past go, you are not the person now that you were then.
Understand yourself, your empathic schools, cadres and traits but remember you are not totally beholden to them either. That information was originally provided to help us avoid further ensnarement. We should use it in the way intended, never as a stick to beat ourselves with.
If in doubt, don’t be too proud to return to the expert. Use the NDC, that’s what it’s there for.
Hope that helps Dani. Xx
Dearest truth,
You should see my collection of sensible shoes, brooches, pearl necklaces, reading glasses, cardigans, slacks, button-down shirts, mid-length skirts, blouses, jackets, along with my scarves, hats and most importantly, my watch 👵🏻😂
Hi Bubbles x
You know what I thought after I sent that?
“Cue Bubbles, stage right.”
Haha! Sure enough, here you are!
And
Oh God, it’s worse than I imagined! 😂🤪😘
Xx
Hi Truthseeker,
I agree with some of what you said. I disagree with some.
I think comparing and weighing our journey against another individual is pointless.
I think understanding the broad pattern of each school, cadre, traits could be very helpful. Sometimes it’s difficult for us to see that falling into thorny brush/stinging nettles is common. I think knowing broad travel routes…what type of MR Hoover worked the most effectively against 100 super empaths who had been out two-four months to draw them back in? Is there a pattern to what caused these 50 contagions to select a new narcissist after nine months of no contact with the previous? What should we watch for most, based on a specific majority school make-up if there are broad patterns within each school that cause variation in future ensnarements? Considering that each empathic makeup has a narc school most drawn to them…It seems like broad patterns exist. Are we all likely to miss a greater narcissist? Unless Mr. Tudor has named them…yes. Good news…they are few in number. We are much more at risk from MRN and Lessers.
I think understanding that a particular pitfall is more common for our makeup can help us spot the trap more quickly than Admiral Ackbar did.
Hope all is well where you are.
Hey Dani: very interesting share and analysis….. I have thought about “ origins” and “ triggers “ of classes and cadres. For what it is worth:
Contagion. I think this is inherited and created from being raised in a creative household and around nature where people are sensitive to others and surroundings.
Carrier: I think because I came from humble beginnings and I left young, on y own after high school always working two sometimes 3 jobs, I bought my own car ( well a Harley roadster was my first purchase) paid myself to move to California, put myself through college to study in the UK, and law school, and that I learned along the way… the world is tough, how to be independent and with that I felt inclined to carry others. But it started with having at 17 to carry myself. As to martyr, I really tie it to my religious beliefs and I find it no coincidence my hero’s or roles models were Martyrs or martyr like: Jesus, Martin Luther King, Harriet Tubman, Sister Catrini, and I read the book of Saints at a young age as I lived by St Maria Greta a nunnery, my absolute favorite was St Francis! His creed is my creed of life. People who are willing to give up even their lives for love. It’s always love. Geyser: I am an extrovert and get excited about things (?)Super: I already said it’s the least of my recognizable traits but I admire Suers a lot. People like JK. Perhaps this small sliver appears in my profession.
Personality is fixed. I think it’s mostly DNA which can give you a propensity to temperament, sensitivity, mirroring…. Plus your environment and culture but I would even throw in career choice. I am great with children and volunteered at church. I love 0-5. If I had been spending days from 20 to 50 with toddlers versus courtrooms would I be the same….. then again…. lol as to Narcs… I was just an ignorant bumbling idiot who fell madly in love with this tall dark and handsome creative Londoner with a good job with the greatest accent who loved the things I love to do. And sex was off the charts. I felt the red flag. I ignored to over his words and wanting the dream to be real. My past relations were with empaths and Normals, mostly, thank God, so when the abuse occurred I was stunned, shocked, blown away. Until I met HG I had no idea. So first I blamed the booze. He quit drinking. I took him back. Then it didn’t stop…. Wtf? I blamed external stressors… immigration, culture change, job loss then 8-9 jobs losses, pot ( his substitute), living with teens (mine and they were not troubled just teens), his mum ( nightmare) until I found HG! HG saved me. Forever grateful. Not sure my classes or cadres included complete ignorance or stupidity….. But once educated, we got separated then divorced. I still loved him even though I wish I wouldn’t but I tried to manage his narcissism by living in two separate countries and visiting. It didn’t work. I also wanted to be so strong that if he was naked on his knees, begging me back after years of therapy, I would still resist him. I wanted to change me into being a strong beast able to be immune to him. Nope. …. Nothing worked. Over now. Only HG works! Especially his consults!
I hope everyone had/is having a good Christmas break. I have been thoroughly enjoying the reindeer gender debate!
I have a question for anyone – if you can recall an article or YT video of HG’s that references how the narcissist’s eyes turn black, face contorts and/or voice changes during ignited fury?
I am asking for a new colleague who, I believe, was involved with a Lesser narcissist (given what she shared.) I don’t just want to direct her to the entire playlist for lessers. I know of videos touching on the Deathstare, but cannot locate one on the black eyes.
I have introduced her to HG’s work, but she is particularly interested in the above aspect of the narcissist’s behaviour. The physical change in her ex, during episodes of fury, seemed to really leave an impact on her.
Hi WhoCares, is this the one? https://narcsite.com/2021/02/03/the-changing-face-of-the-narcissist/
Hope you’re having a good rest too xx
Hi WC,
Here’s what I found. The Stare talks about the face contorting during devaluation.
https://narcsite.com/2021/02/26/the-narcissists-stare/
https://narcsite.com/2017/09/03/the-cold-dead-stare-2/
https://narcsite.com/2025/11/28/the-dead-eyes-of-the-narcissist/
Oh, thank-you Leigh!
“The Stare” does mention the darkened eyes – perfect! And, I am sure all those articles together will be of interest to her.
“The Changing Face of the Narcissist”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0o6Jlu18Mw8
HG has published this one a few times (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNAm1759yc4, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRpAQ4IUsNg, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDm-Fmowg7s), the comments are worth a read as well.
I think this is the video you were referring to, WC.
https://youtu.be/cDm-Fmowg7s?si=qR3kFSmdv0IP33Xn
Mustn’t forget the N&P channel! This is the most recent appearance, I think:
And this one:
https://narcsite.com/2016/04/14/the-dead-eyes-of-darkness/
Best Wishes WhoCares ✨
What a cute avatar picture Z ! 🐾♥️
Z!
Thank-you. That’s an oldie, but a goodie.
Best wishes to you as well, Z, and take care.💛 ✨
Who cares: my ex husband was a middle lesser. Only once when he drank did he change: eyes black, voice changed, facial expressions changed. His “ mum” was his grandma and she was a cockney described by other family members as hostile. I think he became her. It could have been dissociating but I think it was learned behavior and I rage… that’s what he lied lie that one horrible time.
Hi Contagious,
Thank-you for sharing. Similar to your ex, I am thinking that my colleague might have been dealing with a Middle Lesser narcissist. He was very violent and the most significant instance was in public, with witnesses.
Asp Amp, Anna Plyance, Leigh –
Yes, Asp Amp – thank-you! I think this was the video I was remembering; I recall the story about HG’s own eyes changing. But I couldn’t find this one, so I appreciate it.
Thank-you Anna Plyance; yes, I hope she reads some of the comments to these articles/videos – she’ll see that her experience matches that of others. And thank-you very much for the N&P link. I think that is a updated recording of the same video. I also had sent her a link to HG’s Narcissism and Psychopathy channel (in case it was her preference) but I don’t want to overwhelm her.
Leigh – thanks also for the video link. I had forwarded her the blog article links you found and she was really excited to start reading them (she was working at the time of sending.)
You all are so helpful – and thank-you HG, of course, for moderating.
Hi WhoCares, yes, I had wondered if it was this particular video. Glad to have made a contribution to your quest in order to assist further your colleague. You will be of great support to her, thank you for that. x
Hi WC,
I’m happy to help! I hope those articles and the video resonates with your friend. She’s lucky to have you to help point her in the right direction.
Dani
“Depends Mode” made me laugh.
They are getting up there.
NA, Autocorrect keeps ruining things, like proper spelling, for me…
Dear Mr Tudor,
Could you please describe to us, what “kind of person” welcomes with “profound relief“ a person like Alaa Abd El-Fattah back into their country?
Asking on behalf of all western countries
Many thanks
Provide context.
Who said or wrote that?
What’s their relationship to the individual?
Dear Mr Tudor,
This individual is a political activist and has been a prisoner in Egypt for a period spanning over 12 years. He was born in Egypt and has dual citizenship with Britain. He’s called himself racist, hates white people and calls them dogs and monkeys, spews antisemitic views and wants them murdered, British Police to be attacked and killed and Downing St to be burned down.
Keir Starmer expressed “I’m delighted that Alaa Abd El-Fattah is back in the UK and has been reunited with his loved ones, who must be feeling profound relief”
How would you describe Keir Starmer from your perspective on letting this maniac back into Britain?
Hello Bubbles,
I am aware of who the individual is. I asked “Who said or wrote that?
What’s their relationship to the individual?” to gain context as one can envisage that his immediate family would express profound relief with regard to his release.
With regard to Starmer, he once again demonstrates how his student union mentality makes him unfit to hold office.
Dear Mr Tudor,
My apologies, I should’ve been more descriptive. My “shorthand” brain thinks in mysterious ways and my empath traits give too much or not enough. Usually it’s all or nothing these days, comes in spurts (I’m forever working on it) hahaha
However, your answer, “With regard to Starmer, he once again demonstrates how his student union mentality makes him unfit to hold office” was bloody brilliant and all the confirmation I needed.
Thank you kind sir, I appreciate your reply
Hi HG: your a test video on the Narc and Painted Back was powerful. I hope any hear it and get help! Thank you for your work!
You are welcome.
It totally triggered me. Reminded me of my first narc. I couldn’t listen. I fast-forward to the end to hear what type he was.
As an Australian, are you familiar with Peter Greste, Bubbles? If so, what do you think of what happened to him?
Dear annaamel,
No sorry lovely, I had to look him up and noticed he had a connection with Alaa Abd El-Fattah!
It appears he’s doing well now from what I read. I don’t agree with anyone being falsely accused or imprisoned, however, the authorities in Egypt at the time thought differently.
Dear annaamel,
No sorry lovely, I had to look him up”
I appreciate you doing so.
“and noticed he had a connection with Alaa Abd El-Fattah!”
Yes. When he was first imprisoned in Egypt he was pretty freaked out. He met Abd El-Fattah who befriended him, gave him support and helped him understand what to expect as a newly arrived (political) prisoner.
“It appears he’s doing well now from what I read.”
He ended up being released to the Australian authorities and because the Australian Govn didn’t consider his conduct criminal, he has resumed a normal life.
“I don’t agree with anyone being falsely accused or imprisoned, however, the authorities in Egypt at the time thought differently.”
Well that’s the rub. If a government decides you’re a problem, and wants you jailed, it doesn’t really matter if it’s wrongful – you will be imprisoned – and find it hard to get out.
Dear annaamel,
Thank goodness for Australia giving him a fair hearing. Obviously Egypt is different.
I have a few questions for all blog readers.
1. What made you research narcissism and eventually land in HG’s lap?
2. Have you been in an intimate relationship with a narcissist?
3. Are you currently ensnared by a narcissist?
4. Do you have one or more parents who are narcissists?
5. If you have to choose one thing, what is your most beneficial takeaway from HG’s material?
6. What do you see as your biggest weakness?
7. How are you healing from narcissistic abuse?
8. How long have you been following HG?
9. What advice would you give someone who is new to understanding narcissism?
Hello AmusedEmpath,
1. What made you research narcissism and eventually land in HG’s lap?
I was ensnared by a narcissist in online game. I broke up with him in May 2024 (I emotionally cheated on my narc husband). I was in pain and confused, I did still love him (though now I’m not sure it was love, actually) despite me ending it. I was looking for some tool to confirm my suspicious. I found HG Tudor YT channel through a recommendation at Quora. Narc Detector did identify him (the guy from the game) as a narcissist.
2. Have you been in an intimate relationship with a narcissist?
Yes and not once.
3. Are you currently ensnared by a narcissist?
No
4. Do you have one or more parents who are narcissists?
I highly suspect my mother is. Sometimes I think my both parents are narcissists, sometimes, that none of them. Haven’t done narc detectors on them. I’m absolutely convinced my both grandfathers were narcissists (different types) and my beloved grandmother (she is still alive) is a codependent empath.
5. If you have to choose one thing, what is your most beneficial takeaway from HG’s material?
To learn that I don’t need men to feel validated and worthy.
6. What do you see as your biggest weakness?
Self doubt.
7. How are you healing from narcissistic abuse?
It has been a bumpy road.
8. How long have you been following HG?
Since August 2024. First YT channel, joined the blog one year ago.
9. What advice would you give someone who is new to understanding narcissism?
Well, embrace yourself, cause HG is going to:
…. take you on a trip
Around the world and back
And you won’t have to move, you just sit still
Now let your mind do the walking…
You will never look at the world the way you used to.
Great idea AmusedEmpath!
Thanks for your reply Arya. Very interesting.
1. What made you research narcissism and eventually land in HG’s lap?
I realised my mum is likely a narcissist in 2019. I spent about five years reading everything about it. I think I discovered HG around this time too and noticed straight away that his classifications seemed much more accurate to my experiences than any other sources (covert narcissism for example, covered too much). However I was a bit scared of the idea of HG and a bit overwhelmed by the amount of videos he produced (I think I felt like I should keep up!). I think this year I felt like I’d done my PhD in narcissism and started looking more at HG on top of that to realise this is a whole other kind of knowledge. I realise I’ve had many narcissist dealings within family, friends, bosses, colleagues and potentially some romantic partners.
2. Have you been in an intimate relationship with a narcissist?
I am not 100% sure but think so since learning more here.
3. Are you currently ensnared by a narcissist?
No.
4. Do you have one or more parents who are narcissists?
One I believe to be so and I am not sure about the other. They kind of often worked like a “tag team” to manipulate us at times but my dad could have been an emotionally eroded, enabling empath or a narcissist or somewhere in-between. I’m not clear.
5. If you have to choose one thing, what is your most beneficial takeaway from HG’s material?
The accuracy, the detailed breakdowns (particularly video analysis) and just huge depth of knowledge. Sorry I can’t do one! But also his wicked humour is the cherry on top! 🍒 The lives and ask HGs are hilarious as well as educational.
6. What do you see as your biggest weakness?
ET, sensitivity (though that’s a big strength too I realise now) and a bit of a sucker for seeing the good in people, to a fault (though this is a million times better nowadays).
7. How are you healing from narcissistic abuse?
Reading here and applying all I’ve learnt here and over the past five or six years generally. Being more logical and taking care of myself and realising not only is that allowed, it’s essential. I find I’m more genuinely empathetic since learning all this and looking after my empathy reserves and not pouring it down the black hole that is narcissists.
8. How long have you been following HG?
Five or six years on and off.. 5 months in depth here.
9. What advice would you give someone who is new to understanding narcissism?
-Try to go to HG first if possible.
-Also it’s the shittiest realisation to realise you’ve been ensnared by a narcissist but also the most freeing one and can be a huge catalyst for positive change.
“Well, embrace yourself, cause HG is going to:
…. take you on a trip
Around the world and back
And you won’t have to move, you just sit still
Now let your mind do the walking…
You will never look at the world the way you used to.”
What a treat reference for HGs work, Arya. Exactly how I feel. 👌💯
Thank you Jade 😊
1. I was told by psychologist that I was most likely dealing with a textbook narcissist. I went digging on the internet.
2. yes
3. No
4. probably
5. My choices and decisions are my own responsibility.
6. Self control
7. I would say I’m healed.
8. About 8 years now
9. Give yourself time and grace. The road to healing isn’t a straight line.
Hi amusedempath,
Thank you for your questions. Here are my answers:
1.What made you research narcissism and eventually land in HG’s lap?
After many years of attempting unsuccessfully to improve long-term-relationships with family members, I found myself in a highly traumatic work-related experience.
In addition, ever since I could remember, I had had difficulties with social and romantic relationships. The more I tried to improve relationships, the worse I was treated.
These experiences culminated in severe cognitive dissonance to the point that I was ruminating constantly. I was emotionally exhausted, highly anxious, and depressed. It felt like I was always going full speed ahead and yet was moving backwards. I felt hopeless and unmotivated.
In order to recover from debilitating anxiety and depression, I began to read about and research a wide variety of topics on mental health, including depression, anxiety, self-esteem, self-compassion, mindfulness, religion, spirituality, etc.
My research eventually led me to learn about narcissism, which made sense to me in relation to family relationships as well as romantic and work relationships.
After reading about narcissism for a few months, I came across HG on Twitter initially, and then discovered the blog.
2. Have you been in an intimate relationship with a narcissist?
Yes. I believe every intimate relationship I have had has been with a narcissist.
I found it relatively easy to end these relationships, though, because they were either unrewarding or unsustainable.
3. Are you currently ensnared by a narcissist?
No.
4. Do you have one or more parents who are narcissists?
Yes, I strongly believe so, even though a deceased parent was never diagnosed. With regard to my living parent, I believe they may have OCPD instead of being a narcissist.
5. If you have to choose one thing, what is your most beneficial takeaway from HG’s material?
There are two things I need to mention here.
5a) The reading material. HG’s posts are very informative and easy to digest despite the difficult subject. The posts really made me think deeply about narcissism and I understood it in a clear way. This did not happen after reading academic articles or other established information about it.
5b)The ability to discuss many aspects of narcissism – as well as my thoughts and experiences – with others here on the blog. This has helped a lot in terms of me understanding and evaluating my traits and personal beliefs; as well as becoming more aware of my problematic tendencies and behaviours.
6. What do you see as your biggest weakness?
I have a few…
Among the worst are: High emotional reactivity. Distrust. Inability to relax and enjoy social situations. Defensiveness.
7. How are you healing from narcissistic abuse?
Daily research and learning. Self-care and self-compassion. Learning not to care so much about what people think if I set boundaries or prioritise myself.
8. How long have you been following HG?
Seven years.
9. What advice would you give someone who is new to understanding narcissism?
It would depend on their situation and how much knowledge they already had about narcissists.
If they were in an abusive relationship and were unaware of narcissism, I would try to offer emotional support and kindness.
If there was already some awareness of narcissism, I would talk about things that have helped me to better understand it myself, such as…
When with a narcissist, it is now scientifically known that cognitive dissonance (CD) becomes extremely severe and problematic. Along with any trauma, the CD seriously affects the executive functioning regions of the brain.
I think it would help to somehow try and tell a person new to narcissism that ruminating and CD is a ‘normal’ symptom after being with a narcissist, however, it is a very unhealthy symptom to have. The only way to stop the CD is to leave the relationship and strive to have no contact.
I think it is also very important when talking to a person new to narcissism to gently insist that the narcissist will not change no matter how much the person tries to love them or help them.
Another scientifically known aspect about those in relationships with narcissists is that they have the personality trait of consientiousness to a higher degree than average. People high in conscientiousness are achievement-oriented and do not like to fail. They are persistent and diligent in their efforts. This aspect of their personality means they don’t like to ‘fail’ with regard to their relationships either. If a person was ensnared in a relationship with a narcissist, I would try to explain that their own trait of conscientiousness means they keep believing they can change the narcissist or change the relationship for the better.
Thanks GP and WN.
WN – what you write about CD and conscientious was really useful, thank you.
You’re very welcome, Jade.
Amusedempath:
I came from a family of empaths but I found myself in my 40s falling madly in l ove with a narcissist and in a marriage of 12 years. My friends and past romances were and are empaths and Normals. Narcs only appear in my legal profession. So I was Iike a child finding a weird creature on the beach? It was absolutely horrifying and harmful yet it swayed from good to bad. I had absolutely no idea what this creature was until I met HG which was 10 years ago? If attacked by a strange creature that abuses ir harms you you never want to go back so I remain here vigilante and learning and…. Reinforcing my learning. Nothing is better than HG!
Dear amusedempath,
1. Originally searched military PTSD which mentioned “narcissists”, then Mr Tudor’s blog popped up, haven’t had the experience of HG’s lap haha
2. Yes, when I was young, but didn’t know it at the time, to a narc I’m a flashing neon sign haha
3. No
4. Yes
5. Never ever dismiss my female intuition
6. A glass of bubbles haha ….believing and trusting people
7. Deep down I will never fully heal, the scars are forever as a reminder, however,
I endeavour to turn everthing into a positive
8. 2016 from memory
9. Research as much as you can for as long as possible
Well done on the questions lovely, hope you were amused
1. What made you research narcissism and eventually land in HG’s lap?
My ex said something like, “I wouldn’t do well in another relationship because I’m quite narcissistic.”
That must have stayed in my subconscious, because after him I was with another narcissist and when we broke up I first googled “highly sensitive person” and then “narcissism.” Knowing the narcissist came up on my Facebook feed and I messaged HG. He informed me that the person I was dealing with was a narcissist. I was shocked when I learnt that narcissists have no emotional empathy. I said that can’t be because my ex cried when we were watching a documentary and he told me that he did that to impress me. I was in disbelief that people like this existed.
Well, I knew people like that existed in documentaries as serial killers and chances are, I would never meet them. But I didn’t know there were different types and that they weren’t all violent and they had slept in my bed and I was related to them!
2. Have you been in an intimate relationship with a narcissist?
Yes, unfortunately. I’m not one of those who say they are glad it happened so they could learn.. no, I deserved to have had it easier.
3. Are you currently ensnared by a narcissist?
I don’t know, someone I know may be a narcissist and to them I’m ensnared.
4. Do you have one or more parents who are narcissists?
Both
5. If you have to choose one thing, what is your most beneficial takeaway from HG’s material?
Learning about the prime aims
6. What do you see as your biggest weakness?
Pass
7. How are you healing from narcissistic abuse?
I will never be healed. Sure things improve, but narcissism was my foundation
8. How long have you been following HG?
Something like 9 yrs
9. What advice would you give someone who is new to understanding narcissism?
Avoid the advice of anyone who claims a narcissist can change or genuinely wants to and suggests therapy. There has been an increase on social media of self proclaimed narcissists talking about wanting to change and heal. Some of them will also purport to be psychopaths; they are frauds.
Hi Witch,
“I was in disbelief that people like this existed.”
I remember when I felt the same way. It seemed so foreign and unbelievable to me.
Witch,
“2. Have you been in an intimate relationship with a narcissist?
Yes, unfortunately. I’m not one of those who say they are glad it happened so they could learn.. no, I deserved to have had it easier.”
❤️
Agreed Witch and WC! ☝️
Hi Witch, did you look up HSP in relation to yourself?
Hi Jade
No I looked up HSP in relation to the narcissist because I thought this particular narcissist was overly sensitive, I didn’t know what his issue was. And yes later I found he was overly sensitive but to things that threatened his control.
Now in all fairness to him, I tend to just do things without anyone else’s permission so it makes total sense why I was devalued so quickly. I don’t have a tendency to fight that hard, it’s more like… I’m just going to do what I’m doing, if you don’t like it you need to have a good enough explanation or I’m not going to get it. The first narc would have to go on and on and intimidate me to gain control but I was very young then, so it was much more difficult for the 2nd narc because I learnt some things from the 1st.
I’m having to learn to consult with my wife first before doing things, it’s a challenge.
That’s what I wondered Witch. That makes sense. I get what you mean about just doing things, I’m that way too but yes though very painful to experience, it would flush a narcissist out!
Evening HG,
I hope you’re well and having a good holiday season.
If some empaths can have strong narcissistic traits but stronger empathic ones, I’m guessing their narcissistic ones could be stronger than a normal person’s narcissistic traits? And possibly a narcissistic person’s?
Thank you 🙏
That is a possibility.
Thank you HG. As always, I appreciate you answering my many questions. 🙏🙏🙏
Is moving cities conducive to implement your total no contact regime?
So long as it’s moving away from the relevant narcissist then it is an excellent step to put physical distance between you and the narcissist.
Hi HG, when there’s an aware narcissist and unaware narcissist in a relationship like bill and Hillary, would the aware ever alude to their combined manipulative nature or talk about it at all? Or do they “play along” with the unawares facade?
Allied to whom? The unaware narcissist or third parties?
Hi HG, Would the aware alude to manipulating others to the unaware…?
If the aware determined it was advantageous to do so.
Mr. Tudor,
I hope you had a very merry Christmas. I loved learning about your different Christmas trees in your interview with Michelle. I agree with her that it would be magical to see the Ultra’s Christmas trees.
You said something, and I don’t know if you were purposefully being playful…but you got me stirred up. I know my biological reindeer facts.
Fact 1: Male and female reindeer (caribou) both grow antlers.
Fact 2: Male reindeer shed the antlers in early December (after mating season).
Fact 3: Female reindeer keep their antlers till spring.
Since Santa’s reindeer are always antlered in their depictions, the logical conclusion that Santa’s sleigh is pulled by female reindeer. (Assuming magical reindeer adhere to the biology of their closest cousins…which I do.)
Thank you so much for everything. Much appreciated.
What about the flying ones though?
Dear HG and Dani,
Rudolph is male and he had antlers while pulling Santa’s sleigh. Xx Hope you had a great Christmas, HG and everyone! Xx❤️🔥❤️🔥
Hi Rebecca,
I love Rudolph. Rudolph made sure Santa found homes for the Misfit Toys. The Spotted Elephant, I love him. Rudolph is a high quality empath reindeer!
Hi Dani,
Yes, he’s my favorite reindeer, the one picked on for being different and he is very empathic too. I wonder what kind of empath Rudolph is? Didn’t HG do a Christmas analysis of Rudolph before, or am I remembering wrong? Xx
Rebecca,
I think Rudolph must be a savior cadre majority with strong magnetic and strong carrier traits. Very charismatic, became “most famous reindeer of all.” Rudolph saved Christmas, despite being excluded from reindeer games. I’m guessing super empath, majority with contagion and a sliver of codependent.
When Rudolph returned to Christmas Town, the other reindeer were still jerks…but Rudolph chose to continue on the path of right and good.
Mr. Tudor has posted videos were we got to advance our theories about the classifications for Rudolph, Ebenezer Scrooge, Harry Lime, and Jack Frost.
Thanks Dani! I would love to know what HG’s opinion of Rudolph’s schools and cadres are, HG will you tell us? Pretty pleaseeeee? Xx❤️🔥❤️🔥
@ Dani @ Rebecca
Rudolph was voted narcissist by the readers of the blog, if my memory serves me correctly.
Z – zwartbolleke,
The readers aren’t perfect. They must have made a mistake in voting…likely the result of Mr. Tudor’s narcy wiles… And Rudolph is an empath. *cuddles Rudolph plushes* Such a cuddly Christmas-saving reindeer.
Hi Dani and Z,
I think the other reindeer rigged the voting! No way is Rudolph a narcissist….must be more of those naughty reindeer games! 😄xx
Here are the results of the voting:
https://narcsite.com/2019/12/25/hgs-christmas-captives-verdicts-and-sentencing/
And Mr Tudors’ comment regarding the result of Rudolph:
https://narcsite.com/2019/12/25/hgs-christmas-captives-verdicts-and-sentencing/#comment-326785
LOL Rebecca!
I wouldn’t be surprised if the other reindeer rigged the vote, lol!
Its still open to vote. Maybe we can change it!
https://narcsite.com/2021/12/18/hgs-christmas-captives-rudolph-the-red-nosed-reindeer/
@Leigh
Oh Thank you, now I remember the whole thing again!!
Here’s what happened next:
https://narcsite.com/2019/12/26/wanted-extinguished-or-shining/
Hi Leigh,
I voted and poor Rudolph needs a new trail! 😄xx
Oh no, Z! We have to save Rudolph!
Flying reindeer to have two “Mutant X” genes if you will. This gene allows for flight (and a shiny red nose in a singular case) but in no way impacts antlers.
What is your basis for magical reindeer masculinity, sir?
Thank you for your time! Much appreciated!
I’ve just spoken to the Professor of Reindeers at Claus University in Finland, Professor Alfred Colpeart. He explained the antlers are necessary for stability when flying whilst male reindeer are required for enhanced musculature to deal with circumnavigating the globe several times in one night. Accordingly, the reindeers that pull Santa’s sleigh have the power of flight, are male and have antlers.
Take it up with Professor Colpeart.
Professor Colpeart has advanced very questionable theories about magical reindeer. In fact, the North Pole Scientific Journal recently retracted the study of his they printed, saying he had clearly drank too much egg nog whilst snorting candy cane dust…
Outrageous allegations, you’ll be hearing from Sue, Grabbit and Runne or Herbert Smith Freehills Kramer!
Dear HG,
Did you use the portal through the Tower’s fireplace, to get there and back so quickly? Or, was it a phone call? 😄xx
A phone call. This isn’t Hogwarts!
Hello HG, I found the discussion about reindeers rather amusing and fascinating…… Dani’s Fact 3 was something I was not aware of until I watched ‘Chris and Michaela : Under the Christmas Sky’ (aired on 20th December 2025). Chris had wished to see the Northern Lights in person and achieved this ‘goal’ of his during the travels with Michaela.
On another note….. it was in ‘The Sound Of Music’ when the song ‘Do-Re-Mi’ was ….”Doe, a deer, a female deer…..”
I suppose, a reindeer “flying” is possible, should someone be wearing a reindeer coat while collecting their air-miles….
The eldest Von Trapp child was a boy called Rupert rather than a girl called Liesl, so we will leave the Sound of Mucus (as Christopher Plummer called it) out of this discussion!
“A phone call. This isn’t Hogwarts!”
I imagine Tudor Towers like Hogwarts but a bit scarier! .. and with better furnishings!
Dear HG,
😄😄No worries of mispronounciations needed here then! 😄😄xx
I used a babel fish.
Dear HG and Dani,
Rudolph will be making a phone call to his lawyer, he’ll use his shiny red nose to call him up quickly! Xx
Dear HG,
I do so admire that Ultra mind you have! Xx❤️🔥❤️🔥
Professor Colpeart’s lawyers have a problem with the scientific journal or the North Pole Bugel, who called him an “Eggy Cane Head”…not me.
Hi Jade,
That’s exactly how I imagine the Tudor Tower too! 😄xx
Haha! Great minds think alike Rebecca.
Though I also conflate my childrens stories and imagine yellow minions running around after HG too 😂
There’s definitely a red smoking jacket in this picture too!
Hi Jade,
Don’t forget the hellhounds standing by the throne too! They like to snack on the Minions. 😄xx
Hehe Rebecca! We need an artistic rendition of Tudor towers, don’t we? 😂
Hi Jade,
Tudor Towers is etched into my mind already. 😄xx
Haha Rebecca. There’s a lot of big old houses and mansions near where I live and I was having a walk in the misty winter weather and had a thought about his weird it would be if HG was close by living in one of those. #tt 🏰
Hi Jade,
I was doing my laps last night, after dark, and I was thinking about HG too…and the icy lake walk HG does every year in the Winter time. Xx
I didn’t run into any hellhounds though, so HG wasn’t close by. 😄xx
Hehe Rebecca! Always jerk an eye out for hellhounds 👀😄
Ah, but according to Wikipedia, “in the Scandinavian and Arctic Circle populations, old bulls’ antlers fall off in late December, young bulls’ antlers fall off in the early spring, and cows’ antlers fall off in the summer. ” Santa’s reindeer would surely qualify as Arctic Circle population, so if correct, there could be males among them. Going by their names, at least some of them would have to be males. Donner and Blitzen are male names, not to forget old Rudolph.
None of this is relevant as they are a unique species owing to their capacity for flight. The usual considerations for reindeer are rendered redundant in relation to Rangifer Tarandus Fuga.
If they have a gender at all, their names are very much relevant.
What I meant was those considerations are entirely applicable to earth and reindeer, AP, but those considerations fall by the wayside when we are dealing with the rare and unusual flying type, namely the male reindeer keep their antlers when they’re the flying type!
Hi AP,
On this matter, I very much agree with HG.
“The usual considerations for reindeer are rendered redundant in relation to Rangifer Tarandus Fuga.”
The gender debate with regard to Santa’s reindeer is a non-issue.
It is widely known, and on good authority, that Santa’s reindeer have magical powers. This factor is re-confirmed annually.
They are not like normal reindeer in normal forests. They are different. They can fly. They can be either male or female and their antlers never fall off.
Also, your Latin teacher needs a good thrashing!
Once I spent a very ill Christmas in London and watched an HOUR of the Sami riding reindeer eating lingonberries ( my favorite.) There whole culture is reindeer. Maybe start there….
I suspect those antlers must have additional energy reserves, hidden rotorblade or jet-engine-type muscles or something else, otherwise it would be a rather inefficient design for flying. Any word from Professor Colpeart on that?
He’s busy with his lawyers at present.
Rudolph just called from the Artic. He says he is victim of workplace harassment due to his red nose! He says he will be a whistle blower on wage hour violations of the elves. Plus female reindeer have Title 13 violations as they don’t keep their antlers when flying and aren’t getting promoted. Sadly I have no jurisdiction and it appears neither does Europe or most of the world as Santas Vilage is not part of The Hague Convention. Oh dear! I had to refer him to the Winter Warlock !
Contagious,
How does flying without antlers amount to a Title 13 violation?
Sounds like falsely created accusations designed to oppress female reindeer and prevent them being promoted. The glass ceiling effect.
Sheesh … discriminatory practices even in Santa’s Village? Seriously?
Well … come to think of it, the voting in HG’s Christmas Captives did result in Santa being a narcissist. The voting result was decisive too.
https://narcsite.com/2019/12/24/hgs-christmas-captives-3/
Hi Everyone,
In light of all this reindeer and Rudolph talk, I thought I’d point you to this poll. The votes pointed to narcissist but no way, no how. Rudolph is definitely an empath.
https://narcsite.com/2021/12/18/hgs-christmas-captives-rudolph-the-red-nosed-reindeer/
Thanks, Leigh! Your skilfull searching has come through again.
I remember the Christmas Captives and the Rudolph poll. Yes, Rudie’s an empath. It’s clear as day.
Ha ha ha, thank you to everyone who participated in the reindeer conversation! I had a great laugh 😀
I have no doubt that the reindeer in Santa’s sleigh are female. That’s the reality around me 😀 Perhaps that’s how the world is.
Rudolph, as the head of the flying section, Santa’s protégé, and a favorite of children and crowds, must have at least a lot of narcissistic traits 🙂
Hi HG,
Are empaths “chosen” by narcissists, primarily because they’re easier to control? I had thought it was the fuel but realising they can also get fuel off each other, maybe more so at times. I know it depends on the narcissist too.
Thank you 🙏
Yes.
Thanks HG. Wow. I’d kind of thought it was the caring attributes mainly but yes that makes sense in terms of narcs priorities. I have tangibly felt people seeming to like me quite quickly, I think as a result of this now I think about it further. Mind blown yet again …
HG do you also provide consultations for children? My niece said she loves Gaston from beauty and the beast 😭
Nothing to see there, entirely rational.
Hey Witch: Try this child on for size. My best friends daughter was a sweet kid. Her older brother different father is a successful independent publisher who teaches at Harvard and nice guy. Her father left the military and wouldn’t work, drank. He left her at 5 and moved to Mississippi where he has lived from with the home of the women he cheated on. He saw his daughter 2 weeks a year and sent 50$ a month as a low income factory worker. My best friend is a top Hollywood agent, she gave her daughter both a good loving and material life. She was austistic and went to a special school. But from age 14-20 she was a self harming, physically violent to my friend and their pet, didn’t want to drive, go to school or work, engaged in cat fishing’s boyfriend, demanded pot. Lots of hospitals and police. This year she sent so many detailed threats at killing her mother and then she smashed everything in the house and hurt the puppy… her threats were with a knife so detailed and bad that she coudnt go home and police arrested her daughter and charged her with felony criminal threat. Her father put his house up and paid bail. I got her off as a first time offender and relocated her to Mississippi with the dad. Voila! Her 6’3 dad with a no nonsense approach and no kids or dogs in the house has got her driving and looking for work. She doesn’t have therapy. But soon will. She can’t manipulate him. My friend is a definite Co-D. Her son says this. She was diagnosed BPD. And she is autistic. She is on meds for mood and depression but she is doing better in a high boundary environment.., for now. Interesting….
Ooh this is a treat outcome to this saga Contagious! Wowsers. Sometimes a change of environment is a huge help. ✊
One other thing and my fellow empaths listen up PLEASE! If someone threatens your life, do not second guess it, do not look at the past and say well he has not killed anyone or hurt me….. STOP It is not normal to threaten to kill. My first husband put a gun to my head and said “this will solve the problem. “ Then he said he would “ blow my head off like JFK “ using a hitman. He was rich. My cancer stricken father saw him and said “ I will take you with me.” My husband said “ keep your voice down this is a neighborhood.” My daddy said “ you aren’t a neighborhood man, you are a state penitentiary man!” I ran to local DV organizations, I took him to court on it. I saw doctors and contacted everyone I knew from ties to the Pentagon to the mafia. I exposed him. Good move. I hired a body guard. My second ex husband, 12 years in, we were together but living in separate countries because of psychological narc abuse mainly. I would not let him live with me in California for two years, I went there for two months a year. It was better. But while there he had a fight with his mother that lead to a psychotic break where he threatened death to me, his mom, cops, and his best friends. He was sectioned. I got divorced. Mental illness is real. Ask Rob Reiner… he is dead. Anyone threatens your life. Leave. Tell everyone public and private. It’s the best chance not only for you but for collateral damage! When someone shows you who they are, believe them!
Important reminder thank you Contagious! 🙏
Hi HG,
I hope you’re well.
re the video “my dog stepped on a bee” (amber heard) I thought it was fascinating that she thought she was the dog (as an extension of herself) when explaining that story. Is there a word for that phenomenon? I wondered if that’s a narcissist trying to “do” emotional empathy but failing… 🤔
I also find it spooky re narcissism glitches how vacant she looks at times (like TOW). what would a narcissist be thinking (or not) at a time like this?
Character Trait Acquisition.
Nothing.
Thank you on both. 🙏
Evening HG, as mentioned I’ve started on your Heard / Depp work. I wanted to ask you, in terms of the now known outcome of this, and it being pretty clear who Amber is, do you think social services in the US would be keeping an indirect eye on her and her child? It’s scary that such unbalanced people (also TOW) are in charge of these little lives. 🥴
I do not know what their criteria for involvement amount to.
Thanks HG.
I find it weird that there these obviously unbalanced and dangerous women who are in charge of children. Obviously the us and UK are democracy’s so can’t stop people having / looking after children. I just find it mind boggling when you look at how Johnny D fared that these little lives are in their hands. But SS probably can’t “go in” without good reason I’m guessing.
Hi Jade:
I can promise you they won’t unless something comes up Iike an unexplained injury. There are far too children in foster care and they are spread too thin. Only . being a narc which was contested by exerts at trial ( Nick Reiners will be schizophrenia) without physical harm to a child including neglect ie starving a child won’t get their involvement.
Yeh it seems that way Contagious. Just scary 😬 I guess she’ll have to get used to clearing up someone else’s poo being a parent though! #mepoo
Mr. Tudor,
Thank you for all the time and effort you put into “blog world”. Its very much appreciated!
Merry Christmas!
Hi HG,
I wanted to pop in on Christmas day to thank you for all you do here, it is very much appreciated. 🙏 I really value the (mindbogglingly) enormous amount of work you have made available and am realising just how much more there is to learn (I have just started watching Heard / Depp and can see how so many more angles are covered and even more knowledge is sinking in. My thirsty brain is very grateful!).
With much gratitude and for the space you have created here too and to other commenters for their help this year. 💗
All the best for 2026
Jade
Thank you and a Merry Christmas to you.
Dear Mr Tudor and lovelies,
Thank you so much for yet another year of exceptional creative content. There are constantly new things to learn from each and every video and post.
Thank you to all the lovelies for your wonderful, clever, exciting and extremely interesting input, never a dull moment hehe
Exist 🎼
“I would also like to thank my dad, my mum, my two step dads, for without them, it wouldn’t have been possible for me to be here haha “
Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and a safe and Happy New Year.
You are welcome.
Have a Holly Jolly Christmas!
Love this Bubbles! Happy Christmas all 🎄
Dear Jade,
Awww thank you gorgeous
Happy Christmas! Thank you!
Hi HG,
I’ve been working my way through your “lives” on YT. So good.. lots more questions answered. and so funny.
You mentioned that narcs don’t sleep with other people during the golden period but do in devaluation. Is that because the infatuation they feel is so strong during the GP? & If so are there exceptions to this.
Thank you 🙏
It is because the individual is painted white and therefore the narcissism sees no reason to engage in the devaluing behaviour or infidelity.
Thank you HG. 🙏 If the opportunity presented itself and they wouldn’t be found out – would they “go for it” or would they remain faithful because of painting the IPPS white at this stage?
The latter.
Okaaayy. Thanks HG. I am getting that the golden / bronze period is “genuine” from a narcissists viewpoint. 🙏
Two – you’re still the cat’s pajamas at that point.
Yes, I’m getting that WC. 😅 Crazy huh. Is it a tiny bit of ET to be glad there was a tiny bit of “genuine” even though it’s narcissist “genuine”? I think so…
Ps that’s another good phrase I haven’t heard in a while
#🐱 PJ’s!
Two, there’s so few opportunities to use that phrase – I had to go for it.
Haha 🤣
I like your style, WC! 👌
Next up for revival:
The bee’s knees.
Happy New Year Who Cares. Hope you’ve dug out by now.
NA – “the bee’s knees” – another classic.
On snow and and knees: if we get much more, it will be up to my own knees!
Take care & stay toasty!
I used “the bees knees” on the”stare thread” this week.
I noticed Leigh used “goodie gumdrops” recently too 😄
Hi WC,
Speaking of staying toasty …
Much of Australia is currently in the midst of an extreme heatwave. This week has been very warm.
The forecast is 43C (109F) in my city today.
A couple of days ago, the temperature reached 49C (120F) in a town in South Australia. It came close to the town’s all-time recorded high of 50C (122F).
We could use some of your snow at the moment to cool things down🌞🥵
* correction: the temperature reached 49C (120.2F) this week in Onslow, a town in Western Australia (WA).
Onslow experienced Australia’s all-time high of 50.7C (123.3F) in 2022.
(The highest temperature in South Australia (SA) this week was 48.2C (118.8F)).
Please send snow … ❄️❄️❄️☃️ or Snowballs … 🍹🍹🍹
WiserNow,
“(The highest temperature in South Australia (SA) this week was 48.2C (118.8F)).
Please send snow … ❄️❄️❄️☃️ or Snowballs … 🍹🍹🍹”
Sorry to disappoint – it’s rain now. Bucket loads though – so we definitely have some to spare!
Chatting with a typical narcissist. So many red flags. Though, it’s a funny video, it is sad as well, cause such situations indeed do happen.
https://youtu.be/wQtfeMQPtXY?si=5nt-Xm1JHk4BZchy
Haha, this is so funny! It didn’t go very well for him, did it…
Yes, it didnt)) Thomas was a hero here.
Regarding the murders of Rob and Michele Reiner, again, it’s a multifaceted and complex case. There are numerous aspects to draw from it. One aspect is the significance of it happening in relation to Hollywood.
I’m going to bring astrology into this comment because I think there is relevant symbolism to contemplate.
For those who roll their eyes and snigger at the mention of astrology, well, think of it like this…
When it comes to computer fantasy role-playing games, I’ve never been interested or invested in them. I don’t see them as magical or particularly engaging, and I would rather do other things. If you’ve seen the South Park episode about World of Warcraft, it’s very stereotypical but also hilarious. It pretty much sums up my take on the genre.
… but … because Sir Lord Tudor happens to like fantasy computer games, etc, (or does he … ?), I’m pretty sure the ‘Tudorites’ are going to line up behind the sign that says ‘Gaming is Great.’
Back to astrology…
In astrology, Hollywood is described as being ‘Neptunian.’ This is because the symbolism of Neptune (both positive and negative) reflects the qualities of Hollywood.
The positive traits of Neptune are: imagination and creativity; idealism and spirituality; intuition and insight; compassion and emotional sensitivity; boundarylessness and selflessness.
The negative traits (or shadow side) of Neptune are: escapism (through fantasy, illusion, drugs, media, or other addictions); illusions and deception (it is prone to projecting ideals, thereby it is easily fooled, and also self-deceiving); lack of boundaries (boundaries are porous or ungrounded, leading to exploitation or uncontrolled emotions); victimhood (becoming passive or feeling victimised due to the harshness of reality).
Due to the porous or ungrounded nature of Neptune, it is at risk of becoming lost in a dream world. This dream world can be illusory and comforting, although, due to a lack of structure or ‘worldly reality,’ it is prone to self-deception, escapism and addictions.
In terms of the Reiner murders, I think these aspects are interesting with regard to the backdrop of where they happened.
It is patronising and provocative of you to prejudge people´s responses. It also demonstrates something of a chip on your shoulder. Just because I have played tabletop role playing games and latterly computer based one does not mean that my readers are going to line up to declare gaming is great. They may enjoy it themselves irrespective of whether I do, they may find it boring or they may have no opinion either way never having played such games.
Making reference to my playing such games and then smearing the readers accordingly is unnecessary and also irrelevant with regard to your comments about astrology. This is because I do not think that the events in role playing games have any influence on what happens in my day to day existence. I engage in it because it is stimulating to me.
Whilst you are entitled to mock the genre by way of the expression of your opinion it is not a well-founded one.
You are mocking people enjoying a leisure pursuit whilst you believe that the positions of stars and planets somehow have a bearing on people´s behaviour and existence. It is eminently clear which pursuit merits ridicule.
Hi HG,
You are free to believe what you like, as am I.
As for ‘stimulation,’ it is interesting to me that you find it ‘stimulating’ to play role-playing games based on conflict and power. You call this focus on ‘power strategies’ and killing an ‘enemy’ a ‘leisure pursuit.’
Meanwhile, you describe a pursuit outside your sphere of interest and ‘stimulation’ as “meriting ridicule.”
And *you’re* the one espousing ‘perspectives.’ Obviously, your perspectives are limited.
Personally, I couldn’t care less whether you or anyone else spends their time on playing online war games.
The point I was making in my comment was that I would not have mentioned my personal beliefs about role-playing games at all if I had not received numerous insulting comments from a number of people who thought it was perfectly okay for them to jump on the ridicule bandwagon about astrology while slapping each other on the back while doing so.
Yes because once again as you did not seem to grasp it the first time (or chose to ignore it) I do not claim that role playing games impact on determining what happens in the world. You claim the movement of stars and planets somehow impact the behaviour of individuals millions of light years away. Therein lies the difference and the measure of ridicule.
Why do you assume that people ridiculing astrology are jumping on a bandwagon. Are they not simply expressing an opinion? Ah, of course, when it does not fit with yours, you dismiss it as bandwagoning.
It is not a risk, WiserNow… It’s a certainty.
But for many beautiful years I brought the dream into my reality and made my own life my escapism
Ah…there she is. Long time no see Laura. I see you haven’t changed your clothes. 😂
Hello HG,
I’m interested in better understanding a narcissist or psychopath’s views on cognitive dissonance.
Could you answer the following questions in relation to this, please?
1) With regard to cognitive dissonance, do you, or have you ever, experienced it?
2) If or when you have two conflicting or competing thoughts, what is your internal experience in relation to reconciling them?
3) When you use the term ’emotional thinking,’ are you referring to cognitive dissonance?
Hello WN,
1. No.
2. I would not necessarily describe them as conflicting, what I do is see an array of options and select the most logical one.
3. No I am not, although it is the case that an individual could experience cognitive dissonance as a consequence of emotional thinking – for instance, they know that being with a narcissist is not good for them, but they do it anyway. That is cognitive dissonance and is driven by emotional thinking.
Thank you for your answers, HG. They are thought-provoking.
I can see how a lack of empathy would result in you being unconcerned or unhesitant about harming another person, or say, damaging your relationship with someone.
Considering you seeing “an array of options” rather than having conflicting thoughts, I have another question, if that’s okay.
My question is about when you were a child. Before you did something like turn the clocks back while everyone was sleeping, or steal the cookies from your grandma’s cookie jar, did you think about the possible consequences if you happened to be caught in the act?
In other words, was the possibility of you being scolded or punished an option amongst an ‘array of options’?
You’re welcome.
I did.
(edited for confidentiality reasons)
Dear HG,
Please, can you clarify.
As you have maybe noticed, I’ve re-done a trait detector test. First time I did it one year ago. There have been some substantial changes in the outcome
1. Is it normally the case that traits % can change so much over a year?
2. What might be the reason for such change?
3. With a small gap between the empathic and narcissistic traits does it mean that under a stress, it won’t take much for me to start behaving like a narcissist? What can I do to increase my empathetic traits and reduce narcissistic ones?
I would appreciate your response.
1. No, it is not common for substantial changes.
2. The obvious answer is that noticeably different answers have been provided second time and there has been a different interaction between those answers. I think you mean to ask, what might prompt such differing answers – there are many different factors which can cause an individual to provide such substantially changed answers, for instance recovery from abuse, recovery from other external stressors, greater application of logic, the injection of stability into the person´s life and other besides.
3. Correct. Apply logic rather than be be driven by emotional responses.