MatriNarc

MATRINARC-2

 

Both Dr O and Dr E (the good doctors) repeatedly like to ask me about my childhood. I do not like to talk about it. I tell them that I do not like to and the reason for that is that I do not remember much about it and therefore I feel uncomfortable talking about something which I do not feel in control of. Everyone is like that though aren’t they? If you are making a presentation but you only have half the material, you feel uncomfortable don’t you? I you are asked a question by somebody but you do not have all the information to hand, you feel uneasy. I explained that was my response and that it was an entirely understandable one. I’m not telling them the real reason behind my recalcitrance. Not a chance.

Unfortunately, Dr O then gets the bit between her teeth in one of our sessions and decides she would like to talk to me about family.

“Who has pinched your bagel this week then? Your brother or your sister?” I shot back seeking to deflect her. She ignored my remark and pressed on.

“Is there anybody in your immediate family you would like to discuss with me?” she asked.

“No.”

“Why?”

Where do I start ? Why would I want to talk about people I rarely bother with (save my brother)? Why is it that these people assume that I have some overriding desire to discuss a group of people who I am related to but have nothing in common with? What is the obsession?

I remained silent.

“Okay, how about I choose a family member and you tell me three things that you like about them and three things that you do not like about them. Just as something to start our conversation?” she suggested.

I remained silent.

“How about your mother?” she asked and looked at me expectantly.

I got up and left the room. I’m not playing that game with Dr O. No way.

Advertisements

462 Comments

  1. There’s a great example of a narcissist father on episode 8 of the Netflix show called “The Assassination of Gianni Versace”

      1. “Where’s the evidence that I wasn’t????”

        Kidding, joking, please lighten up HG. I’m being funny, that’s all 😊

          1. HG, someone, I think Whitney suggested I take your empath detector test. It seems like the test is designed for people who are already positive they are empaths.

            Would you be able to tell from the test if I’m not an empath? Do you think you could use it to identify a Borderline Personality Disorder?

            My ex says I’m borderline and he’s a psychiatrist. Ive read that borderlines are attracted to narcissists and vice versa. Are you just flattering us with this empath talk?

          2. No it’s note.

            It confirms whether someone is an empath (if so, school and cadre) or if they are not an empath.

            Yes I would be able to tell, that is the whole point of the test, hence its name.

            No, it is not used to identify if someone has BPD.

          3. Thanks, HG. I think I’m annoying you with my long comments so I’m asking other readers….

            Anyone else read “sitting target?” You know how HG says elites sometimes enjoy targeting Borderlines? Does that not seem completely inconsistent with targeting an empath? Can borderlines be empaths?

    1. Kara, WD, do you identify yourself as co-d or an empath, if so what school and cadre?

      I have a tonne of narc attributes but the underlying 10 empath tendencies I also tick the box for.

      1. Noob, definitely not a co-d. I really want to be an empath haha. I think there’s a chance that I’m a contagion empath or savior.

        How about you?

        1. Not entirely sure. Some strong carrier traits but also have contagion, and elements of super, also. I can err on the side of the underdog also so perhaps that could be savior element, IDK. Would love to have been a magnet yet the gift of the gab is not my forte (nor writing).

  2. This reminds me when my mother and i went to a psychologist together which oddly she was ok with. We got talking and the psychologist asked me to ask her a question id really like to know and i asked what were some of her mistakes or regrets in life. Where did she go wrong. Do you think she would open up and admit to any? Nope. She kept saying she chooses to look at the positive and not dwell on the negative of her past. This was a wall bc i felt i could never discuss these types of things with her and get validation or support. I wanted a mother i could relate with. She had a fortress built sky high around her you could not get thru. The psychologist asked to talk to me after and told me my mother had a lot to work thru. She never mentioned npd. We ended up not going back i cant remember why exactly but i do know the psychologist was frusterated trying to get her to open up.
    Npd and bpd are two personality disorders psychologists really struggle with and quite often end up exhausted. A good psychologist is patient and doesnt give up. If its not a good fit theyll be honest and refer to another psychologist that maybe can offer a different angle.

  3. HG, has your opinion of your doctors changed since you started this blog, and especially after you announced your Dolus Malus post?

          1. Thank you for your response HG. Would I be correct in inferring that your opinion of Dr. E has changed for the better and Dr. O has changed for the worse?

  4. Last comment I swear. Even I need a break from me but I am curious if HG is willing to share any thoughts on this based off our interaction.

    HG, or others but preferably HG, do you think no narcissist wants me as their IPPS or IPSS because I am narcissistic myself?

    I’ve got the narcissist father, I’m a professional listener and I spent a small fortune on surgery for my pet rabbit but she died anyway (RIP Figaro). All the empath traits.

    Yet, all of my boyfriends have been exceptionally kind men. I got infatuated with a victim narcissist but he didn’t want much to do with me. Why aren’t narcissists attracted to me? I’ve never been targeted by a narc besides my dad

    1. The question you should be asking yourself is – why am I wanting to know why narcissists are (seemingly – they might have been but you were unaware) uninterested in me, when I should be thanking my lucky stars that they (seemingly) are not.

      1. Thank you!!!!!!! I’m so happy I’m not a narcissist and all the narcs are secretly into me. I should’ve known ;)

          1. Kara,
            I know that you have that question of “why not.” I used to ask why not me with the good guys. I also used to wonder why I only attracted narcissists at work and nowhere else. I read “Sitting Target” which helped a lot in why I attracted cerebral but not why only at work. I finally realized that that is where I spend most of my time interacting with others without being in a hurry or distracted. Is it possible that where you work, the things you do, etc keep you from building on an interaction with a narcissist ethically (i.e. not counting your clients who are narcissists)? Is it possible that your natural defenses are protecting you? As a side note, what I have learned is that some narcissists do get in a relationship with other narcissists.

            As for the victim narcissist not interested in you, that is a “thank you” moment!
            Not to be mean, but I guess I am. I have been hit on by victim narcissists and immediately I lose energy and I am not even that type of empath!

            Is your inclusion of the part about possibly being a narcissist a bigger concern you have?

          2. Hi Getting There,

            I am more concerned about my own potential narcissism than my narcissist. He doesn’t want to trade up and leave his IPPS for me, but I did get to sleep with him a bunch of times. I think his joblessness would’ve gotten old quick.

            Mostly I worry that if I am narcissistic I could hurt my patients without knowing it. I am very aware that I love feeling loved by my patients, I love that they see me as benevolent and giving. I also love my patients. I’ve cried with them, cried over them without them knowing it, and spend considerable time and money on post graduate education to improve my craft. I get a ton of my self esteem from thinking of myself as a “good therapist.”

            It would honestly devastate me if I only loved my patients because they fulfill a narcissistic need of mine for love and admiration. It scares me how much I enjoy their love and I am paranoid that I enjoy it too much.

          3. Hello, Kara.
            Thank you for sharing that! I fully understand what you are saying and feelings with that concern! I, too, have been concerned that I was a narcissist. The only reason I can put that aside is because I have asked my therapist, friends, coworkers, and HG has shown great patience in answering the same question multiple times from me (I have OCD tendencies and come up with all that they don’t know so conclude the answer is not fully informed).

            Have you considered the possibility that you are normal (not a narcissist or an empath)? It is possible that you are an empath who is proud of her work? The fact that you cry when your patients don’t know says so much to me! In that way, you are not trying to maintain a facade and yet you feel the compassion which comes out in your tears.

            I think it is very healthy for a therapist to step back and analyze where they are and how they are in regards to themselves and with their patients. Good for you for being willing to do that! It is not an easy job and there is a lot of responsibility. It is important to evaluate if what is being done is the best for a particular person; or am I applying a “it worked on the last person so it will work here;” or even am I providing therapy in a way that benefits me regardless of the patient. I think it says a lot that you at least allow that concern to be considered versus throwing it aside and saying “no, I am just that good.”

            I have a great therapist! My son has had a terrible therapist and a good one. I continue to experience the impact of the therapist who was more about himself and not about his patient (my son). The difference, I noticed, is the ability and willingness to fully listen and work with the person where they are (like you mentioned about with HG). To jump in right away and want to “fix” without fully respecting them and their experiences – that is a difference I noticed.

            May I challenge you without offending you? You of course don’t need to answer. The fact that you appreciate being loved by your patients, staying within the proper boundaries to include mentally and emotionally, could be a manifestation of wanting to feel that you have done a good job and your patients are the avenue to determine that as no one else is usually there to see the active work. Growing up how important was it to be recognized for doing a good job?
            Now for a twist, you love being loved by your patients but you also wanted to be loved by the victim narcissist, recognizing different types of love and appreciation. What is the connection for you considering both?

          4. I feel so much better hearing that you’ve also been paranoid that you’re a narcissist. It makes my fear seem that much more unlikely. Of course, it is quite possible that I’m a “normal” person who takes a healthy pride in her patients.

            I see where you are coming from with the doing a good job and parents thing, and it’s probably where my head would’ve gone too, but don’t think that’s it for me. My parents couldn’t care less what I did with myself, haha. My father did very much want to be saved. He made multiple suicide attempts and once recruited me to assist him in committing suicide. We were not successful. But yeah I think when I’m saving patients I’m symbolically saving dad and that’s why I’m so passionate.

            I see my relationship with victim narc and the gratification I got from my relationship with him as very similar to my relationships with my patients. I met V narc at a narcotics anonymous meeting. (I used to have a cocaine problem. He was newly off heroin.) When we were seeing a lot of each other he was sober, had a job and I felt like I was nursing him to health with my guidance.

            When he pulled back from me (his other girls missed him), he relapsed, lost his job and a lot of weight. I still think I could have saved him if he’d kept spending time with me instead of them

          5. What happened with your father is horrible; I’m sorry you went through that!

            I hope you have gone no contact with your victim narcissist. You know you will never be able to save him, and you deserve better for yourself. I also hope that you are doing well with your own fight with substances. If you don’t have one yet, a great therapist is worth it.

            I’m glad you found HG. There is a lot of internal understanding that comes from here from what he provides as well as the discussions.

          6. Hi Kara <3 Narcs are fuelled by power and control, not by love!

            It is normal to love feeling loved by your patients. You are a human being. We all love to feel loved.

            You sound like an Empath. Maybe you can take HG's Empath Detector: https://narcsite.com/empath-detector/

            It sounds like you are attracted to Narcissists and want a Victim Narc like your dad?

      2. HG I couldn’t reply below so if you don’t mind, I’ll do it here.

        I wasn’t assuming I was painted black due to your succinct answers or the clearing up of what you deem to be inaccurate statements. Rather my assessment was more based on the consistency in which you deal with comments and commentors. I will put aside what I understand and justify to be *fair* however, and accept that I could be using too much of my ET to form an opinion.

        1. Can you expand on what you mean by “the consistency in which you deal with comments and commentors.” as I do not understand what you mean by that.

          1. I think your last blog outlined it for me, actually. Ha, but no, I’m not saying you do that here on your blog but neither am I up for anymore back and forth. I’ll take it on the chin as I can accept that my sensing abilities are out of whack – likely due to my own situation, and being quite new. Thanks for your time, as always 🙏

        2. Noob, from what I’ve observed HG consistently replies when asked a direct question and very rarely chimes in otherwise. If he’s not answering your question he’s probably scolding you. I don’t think he dislikes any of us and I think he likes a select few, such as me.

          1. 1. Where’s the evidence that if I’m not answering a question that is scolding? Evidence, not supposition.
            2. Where’s the evidence I like a select few? Who are the select few? On what basis do you assert (with evidence) that you are included in such a group, if it exists?

          2. Kara, it depends on the nature of the direct question. HG said that he isn’t compelled to answer all and he will address those he wishes to. He is busy, some are irrelevant and others might be too close to home?

        3. Hi Whitney!

          I haven’t quite figured out how to reply to comments. Sometimes ‘reply’ shows up and sometimes now so I hope you see this!

          Thank you so much for your kind words. Maybe I will do the empath test. I’m scared I’m not one and am just a dramatic borderline. Did you take it and if yes how did you find it?

          I wanted that particular Victim
          narc because he was so beautiful. My pattern is to date successful men who treat me like gold. This is another reason I’ve questioned if I’m empath or narc, have never had a narc boyfriend.

          I’m dating someone wonderful and kind now. Am not about to mess things up for beautiful V narc. Thanks so much for checking in ❤️

          P.S. I’m going to change my alias to something other than my actual name. I’ve tslked a ton about myself on here and could easily be identified by just about anyone who knows me haha

      3. Getting There, thank you so much for the support ❤️ I’m curious if you don’t mind sharing, why your son’s therapist is terrible and how it is still impacting you? I’m glad you have a great therapist yourself. I’m in the market for one-but I’ve had a good five years on the couch and am giving myself a bit of a break while I work full time, try to grow my private practice, and complete my psychoanalytic training program.

        I am still in touch with V narc. Not worried about getting sucked back in. I have an amazing boyfriend now and I wouldn’t jeopardize that for more of V narc’s dumb sounding Brooklyn accent and indoor e cigarette smoking ass, even if he looks good. He’s tried asking me out again, it hasn’t worked. Been almost a year since I’ve seen him in person. But I don’t block his number because if he does want help with getting off drugs I would be be there for him.

        1. I’m glad you are here, Kara, and sharing with all of us!

          LOL Brooklyn accents are just fun.

          It makes sense to want to be there to help when someone you care about turns to you for support. The issue is that he is a narcissist and has the potential to use this to his advantage. What great news about the good guy in your life and that you have been working on you during your break from therapy! I hope you find a great one when you are ready to go back! You deserve peace and healthy! You deserve to walk proudly forward in your life and not be pulled back!

          The first therapist was the one with whom I had issues. One example of an issue was when I was explaining that my young son was very excited about an idea I had. I described what he said and did, on his own, that expressed this excitement. Without having ever spoken to my son about the idea, this therapist stated, in front of my son, that my son didn’t want to do it. This therapist had a belief in a particular parenting style. I freely admitted that I needed to improve my parenting style, not like his way but in general. This therapist spent a lot of time criticizing my parenting style, and he would do it in front of my ex and my young son. Some of his conclusions were based on faulty logic. I chose not to challenge him during those times even though it was obvious. There have been multiple times since where my ex will use the specific conclusions based on faulty logic, in front of my son, as if they are fact.
          I recognize that not all therapists nor all therapists’ styles work for everyone. I am beyond glad that we found one who matched what my son needed with the second therapist.

          1. Getting there I’m sorry to hear you had that experience :(. Sounds awful. I can see how that could happen as you of course assume the professional knows what they’re doing, but our professional isn’t really regulated past the point of licensure. It is a pain in the ass to get licensed, but after that no one checks up on the work you’re doing with private paying patients. Insurance companies only check because they want to justify not paying for any more sessions. They’re not judging for quality. It sounds like you came across a quack. Am glad you and your son are working with someone you trust now,

            Nunya, EMDR sounds like some next level quackery if you ask me. But I have smart, sensitive peers I respect who swear by it. So who am I to judge if it helps people? Are you considering trying it? Would be so interested in your experience

    2. Hi Kara, I have asked the same question to HG. Although there has been slight interest in the past, nothing that has flowed both ways. I’ve had some interest or others have but thankfully didn’t hit it off. I was entangled at age 40 though, my curiosity got the better of me. I even told him that “people like you aren’t attracted to me”

      1. Narc noob, is it possible that HG’s explanation for me applies to you too? That narcs are interested and it just doesn’t seem like they are?

        1. Hey Kara, I guess I wouldn’t really know but certainly doesn’t feel very likely! If it were the case, and control is number 1 on their list, surely they would act and speak accordingly and we would be informed, correct?

          I would go so far to say that I am the overly interested one, naively of course, but people are fascinating creatures and the more someone has to hide the more curious I become. Being an open book and all, who wouldn’t find the apposing interesting…

          How about you??

          I actually feel as though I somehow painted myself black already with HG, but my over sensitive nature can get these things wrong.

          1. Use logic as opposed to amorphous, vapid feelings. This is what I teach. Show me the evidence of you being painted black as opposed to assuming you have been painted black.

            Just because I correct yours or anybody else’s inaccuracies does not mean you are painted black. I also have to be succinct otherwise nothing else would get done, thus I am to the point a lot of the time.

    3. Kara, I can’t seem to *reply* on the other post you responded to so excuse me while it’s done here instead.

      Yes, I saw the comment about HGs scrapbook and like most other article’s on the blog it was distasteful and alarming. The more I read the more I feel I could quite easily box people into black and white myself – well, once I know if they have the markings of an narc, that is. Nevertheless HG is unique and intriguing and so the blog ticks the box for now. I usually make a good go of anything before realising it isn’t me any longer and off I go to find something else.

      My situation is different, meaning that the person I got involved with has control of my devices. Anything I do online with my devices. I assume that writing on this blog would be considered the opposite of NC. My hands are tied at present, however.

          1. I searched those terms, Noob and didn’t see what you mean. But if you’d like friendly feedback on your situation I’m all ears. Sounds tough :-/

    4. Poor bunny. :(

      I wonder that myself, I attract them like crazy, but not for long (I mean, for a very long time in a bad way, yes, but never in a uhm “good” way / golden period way). We are hopefully just bad toys.

      1. Oh thank you for your condolences about Figaro. I really miss her terribly. I hope she had a good life despite my never being able to feed her hay because my boyfriend was allergic to it.

        I agree, I think we’re bad toys. I don’t get how that can be but I don’t see another explanation.

  5. HG, you might consider telling Dr. O that she has been seduced into an enactment with you in which she is assuming the role of the matrinarc, who values only your performance and what that performance says about her. She is demanding that you perform health by asking you invasive questions aimed at “curing” your narcissism against your will. If you perform health for her she benefits because she can then say, “look at what a brilliant doctor I am! I’ve cured a psychopathic narcissist!” She has adopted matrinarc’s attitude and traumatizing characteristic.

    As I shared, this is known as an enactment in relational psychoanalysis. Even good therapists can get caught up in it. If you point it out to her, the correct response if for her to OWN UP TO IT. This is not a ‘gotchya’ opportunity for her to say, “oh now I’m like your mother am I????”

    Anything other than a humble response in which she takes full accountability for her mistake, and honestly, please consider getting yourself another therapist. Studies have repeatedly shown that seeing a low empathy therapist actually makes patients worse.

    1. “perform health”

      Oh yes, I can feel that. I didn’t know that was a thing, I was actively wondering.
      Btw, when I “complain” regarding therapy it’s not any more weighted in my mind than benefits or neutral issues, I am just interested in putting words and form to concepts I can feel, so my comments are just based on that.
      What you are saying about a low empathy therapist makes perfect sense to me. I believe a recent one I had was using a high level of cognitive empathy, which is not the same and the difference absolutely is an issue. What you are describing seems on the edge of power struggle as well, but so subtle.
      Thank you for your comment, I appreciate the insight.

      1. I’m glad you found it useful! I am always interested in “complaints” and feedback about therapy, especially negative feedback. It’s something therapists should welcome. Also happy to assist with matching academic terms with your lived experience. It is nice to know there’s a word for what you’re experiencing, right?

        So funny, shortly after I finished my rant about HG’s therapists on here, I had a second session with a new patient who informed me at the end that he didn’t want to see me again. Upon reflection, I see where I was misattuned. Still kind of crushing to hear.

        1. Wow, Kara, you sound like a good healthy therapist. Being empathic, and I think also above average aware of interactions between myself and others in a somewhat conscious way, I tend to reasonably approach things like that in my mind because I think it’s just impossible for a therapist for be perfectly objective while being empathetic and impossible to have zero transference, projection, rationalization, etc.. all those things.
          (I feel silly saying all that to an actual therapist and I don’t know if those are the words, but that is my layperson’s perspective).
          So long as I can take a step back and see true benefit and progress as both a goal and a possibility I think flexibility is most helpful. I’ve got weird defensive and self protection reactions still though.

          I think it is so impressive you see being misattuned. I’m taking a break from therapy, but I don’t think it will be long before I jump back in. I think I need to let recent therapy interactions settle. Yes, the academic terms help in providing a little relief that I am seeing something real : )
          It’s like therapeutic anti-gaslighting, haha.

          1. Thanks for saying I sound like a good therapist! That makes me feel great.

            You are totally right that it’s impossible for a therapist to be objective, without transference, “a blank slate” (and yes you used all those terms in a way that makes perfect sense!) The blank slate model is pretty unpopular now. It is a remnant of the Freudian model, but most psychoanalysts prefer newer, 2-person orientations such as relational or interpersonal psychoanalysis as opposed to 1 person and a blank screen!

            From the way you’re sharing about therapy, I’m concerned you may have encountered a narcissistic therapist. I don’t want to go on too long about HG’s area of expertise, narcissism, so I’ll just say narcissism in psychotherapists certainly exists, and is likely present in therapists who consistently insist you accept their interpretations, insist that you “perform health,” and pathologize every criticism you make of them.

          2. Thank you so much Kara and HG.
            Your comments momentarily made me teary. My interaction involved more abstract elements than what you describe but just feeling briefly validated in my thoughts is invaluable to me and helpful for my ongoing healing process. My tone recently has probably been a little more poor me-ish because of attempts toward healing and self sufficiency have actually thrust me into a couple of unhealthy entanglements including a Narcissist in my workplace attempting to manipulate me with my income and referrals, which puts even more on the line. What frustrates me is that I do have awareness and boundaries, but it seems insufficient in these circumstances as I did not choose either the N client or the therapist.

            I may need to consult on some of these more complex life things, HG, just trying to make sense of it.
            Sorry to hijack a mini analysis, thank you again

        2. Kara
          Your upset is understandable and NPD abuse is a very serious issue.

          HG has provided an arena for me and tens of thousands of others (readers) so we can recover from our abuse. All of my questions have been validated and answered on narcsite gratis, thanks to HG, and I have gotten unprecedented support from everyone here. My experience has been exceptional and, if it weren’t for HG, I would still be in an abusive relationship with my ex-boyfriend.

          I am a volunteer school librarian and I am pretty good at directing people towards the books or information that they are seeking and I really do enjoy helping others. I thank God every day that I found narcsite.

          1. K
            Your response is testament to your understanding and tolerance and is much greater than mine in this case. You have the appreciation of many here for all you do to help, with no judgement or innuendo why. Thank you.

          2. Thank you NarcAngel
            Kara is new (posting) to the blog and I understand how the situation may appear and I hope she continues to read and post. One of the best things about being on narcsite has been the opportunity to learn about my emotions and how to get them under control by using logic, honestly, it has been a phenomenal experience.

            Just for the record, there has been many times when I have thought: Damn! NA has way more patience than I do! It has been a pleasure to be here with you, and all the others, and the non-judgmental vibe on narcsite has been paramount in my recovery.

          3. K
            Well mine wears thin some days, and today is apparently one of those days. Not the drama Llama nonsense – I just blow that shit off, but I didn’t receive kindly the questioning and evaluation of your much appreciated volunteering here, or the suggestion that there is exploitation that we are unable to identify without outside intervention. We are merely attempting here (perhaps in an unconventional way to some) to help each other find the information and solutions that sometimes conventional avenues have failled to do. Tomorrow is a new day.

          4. Yes, NA, luckily Kara was asking K questions out of sheer curiosity and no judgement.
            She also seems to know everything about the good doctors and feel in the position to declare them totally inept after reading a few posts that clearly cannot show the total length and details of their sessions.
            She also knows better what’s best for HG in terms of therapy.
            I wonder what that new patient saw in her to not want to see her again.

          5. Lou
            Based on what I have read about HG’s sessions, I am inclined to agree with Kara. And I think Dr E is one of his kind.

          6. K, personally I don’t believe Dr E is a narcissist, but I know I may be wrong; I just don’t have the information to make such assessment. But the point is whether or not he is competent or not. I do not think we can judge that either based on the posts here. I see the results of his work, and that is what HG is doing. Yes, a lot of what he’s doing is due to his intelligence and desire to build his legacy. But I don’t completely buy that. HG has always stated that part of his awareness and his work here is thanks to the therapy he’s done with the GD. That, to me, is enough proof that they are not inept.

          7. I have read everything HG has posted about the good doctors so, I do know everything that’s been made available to know.

            Not sure why you’re coming for me here. Maybe I came off as arrogant to you?

            It would be a real treat for me to hear about HG engaged with a competent therapist, to see how he presents with someone who works similarly to me. I am encouraging him to seek a competent therapist so I can read about it.

            My assessment of the situation based on the information available is solid

          8. Well, HG, you know more than anyone else in this site about your own doctors. If you consider Kara’s observations about them fair, then that means you agree with her assessment. I did not agree with her but I don’t have enough information about your doctors. So I won’t discuss any further on her observations.
            I have a lot to read anyway.

          9. Incorrect Lou, I stated that Kara’s observations are fait based on the limited information she has. There is some validity in what she states about their conduct but she does not know the totality of the situation. Your disagreement with her will be equally valid.

          10. Thanks for your response! I’m glad the site’s made such a big difference for you

        3. Hi Kara, welcome to the blog!

          I’ve read a few comments of yours and feel compelled to ask myself your wise questions of “what am I doing here” also. My situation is different to the other’s (as far as I can tell) but still that doesn’t change the fact that I sometimes walk away with my head all messy and other days I’m left more clear. It really is an oxymoron to run from N into another! HGs articles of *truth* are pretty screwy and don’t leave me feeling too good – I’d rather read the comments most days.

          On the other hand, it’s evident he has helped more than one person with this blog.

          1. Thaaaaannnk youuu for confirming that, yes, some of this truth is presented in a deeply unsettling way.

            Have you read wherever it is that HG talks about how he takes pictures of his women and cuts body parts off these pictures and arranges all his favorite parts to compile a whole new woman? Pure nightmare fuel.

            What’s your situation here? You said it was different?

  6. I’m a psychotherapist and it sounds like your doctors are being very aggressive with you in trying to get you to talk about your mother. I can’t imagine a scenario in which I’d insist on a discussion the way Dr O attempted to…maybe if I had a VERY strong rapport with the patient, which it seems is absent here based on your walking out. It makes me wonder what her theoretical orientation is. Do you know, HG? That whole exchange sounds so inept on her part. Also, why do you have two doctors? It’s usually considered best practice to have one only (unless one is for talk therapy and the other for medication).

    Anyway, it sounds like based on your more recent writing about the shieldmaiden that you want to get better. Is that right? If so that is so encouraging!

    Also please do not share my website here HG it is for you if you’re interested! But I’d like to reserve the right to comment childishly if it suits me

    1. I have been assigned two for reasons of control, revenue generation and a further reason which I prefer not to divulge at present as it will jeopardise my Grand Design.

      1. That sounds ominous.

        It would be great if you wrote a blog entry about how the narcissistic patient presents in therapy. Is he charming? Dismissive? Does he try to portray himself in a certain way?

        Therapists are taught that narcissists tend to dominate the entire session with nonstop talking and don’t want to hear from the therapist. If the therapist does talk the narc pt responds dismissively. But I bet that’s not the only way they might present. Would be so interesting to hear about how you are as a patient.

          1. Kim e
            Ha ha ha…the magic is in the fingers. If you have some time, read the archives; they are phenomenal and, I think, you will love the articles.

          2. Hey, thanks!

            I’ve checked out the articles and am left with the conclusion that the good doctors are completely inept. Honestly between the closed ended questions, the failure to tolerate silence and ambiguity, setting themselves at odds with the patient and general misattunemt..it sounds like amateur hour.

            It makes me wonder if HG is making these stories up.