Why The Narcissist Wants You Dead



“I’m going to fucking kill you!”

“You’d better do it or you’re dead!”

“I wish you were dead!”

“You are going to die.”

You may well have heard such threats and declarations of intent from our kind. The savage Lesser who has erupted in a volcanic reaction of ignited fury who grabs the kitchen knife and thrusts it through the air towards his victim, the self-pitying Mid Ranger who in a tantrum of impotence and hatred expresses his wish that you were dead or the dread words delivered with the reptilian smile of the Greater ; each school has its own ways of issuing this threat.

Yet, is this just wishful thinking or a solid desire to see you dead? Are these words issued more for effect than the reality of murdering you, causing an ‘accident’ or hoping that some intervening act causes you to be wiped from this mortal coil?

The general position is that we do not actually want you dead in the sense of physically dead. There are notable exceptions, which we shall address below, but it is rare for those exceptions to occur. The fact is that numerous commentators believe that we want you dead and the truth is, we do not. That is another myth that is held about our kind, that it is our ultimate desire, our final expression of victory for us to kill you. It is largely incorrect and here is why :-

  1. A dead appliance is a useless appliance. Your purpose is threefold to us, whether you are a tertiary, secondary or primary source. You are to provide us with fuel, character traits and/or residual benefits and the more important the appliance in our fuel matrix, the more likely that you will provide all three and do so impressively. Accordingly, if you are providing us with the very things that we want and need it makes no sense at all to render you incapable of providing them. But, I hear you ask, what of the appliances that are no longer functioning in the way that we want? A valid question.

Firstly, when you stop functioning in terms of the provision of positive fuel (you do not provide enough/frequently enough/it runs stale) we switch to devaluation and even though we hate you and paint you black for your treachery in no longer fulfilling your specified role through the provision of positive fuel, you still have a role to play. You become the fountain of negative fuel.

Secondly, you still have a role to play with regard to the provision of character traits and residual benefits. You may be supporting us financially, taking care of us, running a household, caring for the children and other matters which not only benefit us day-to-day but support our all important façade.

Thirdly, you are required for the purposes of triangulation with our other appliances and maintaining the provision of fuel as we seek out your ultimate replacement.

Now you ask, what then when we choose to dis-engage, clearly we have no longer       any desire to interact with you at all, why not kill you then? These leads us on to the other reasons why we choose not to kill you.

2. Notwithstanding our contempt for rules, the law and regulations, the higher functioning of our kind are mindful of the adverse interference that comes from nosey law enforcement if we murder you. It brings unwanted scrutiny and the potential to fetter our right to do what we want and we are not so stupid as to act in a way that will blatantly jeopardise that.

3. We treat you as dead without the inconvenience of actually killing you. We effectively delete you when we concentrate on the new IPPS through the new golden period. Accordingly, by ignoring you, removing you from social media postings, blocking you, not answering your messages or calls, then we have ‘killed’ you and this provides us with a far more satisfactory outcome.

4. You are ‘kept alive’ for the inevitable hoover. Although wanting to see you, interact with you or indeed do anything with you at all is last on our list when we have dis-engaged from you, unconsciously there remains that advantage to be achieved by keeping you alive so we can hoover you for fuel (positive or negative) or achieve this as well as bring you back into the Formal Relationship to acquire the other aspects of the Prime Aims. Remember, there has been a considerable investment in you and whilst we ‘kill you’ by putting you from our minds during the golden period with the new IPPS, we will want to draw down on our investment in due course. Accordingly, there is no point physically killing you.

5. There are alternative methods where we can in effect murder you without the potential risk to liberty. The key ways that this is done are as follows :-

a. Character assassination – ( The Paranoia of Character Assassination )

b. Smearing – ( see Smear and Loathing )

c. Silent Treatments – ( The Smiling Assassin )  and ( 17 Salvos of Silence )

d. Devaluation as a whole

Thus whilst we do not physically kill you, we slay your character, your reputation, your self-worth, your sense of existence, your connection to us and still continue to draw fuel from you, something we could not do if you were physically dead.

5. Punishment. By you remaining alive, we are able to punish you. This asserts and maintains our sense of superiority, enables us to draw fuel and ensures that we feel a sense of achievement and retribution against you. It also means we can keep on punishing you, something that could not be done if we were to actually murder you.

6. By stating our intent or desire to kill you, this simple form of threat carries with it the ability to gain fuel from provoking a reaction from you, but also allows the establishment of superiority. It is a simple sentence but one which carries significant power with it. This low usage of energy with maximum impact appeals hugely to our kind and therefore it makes far more sense for us to THREATEN than to EXECUTE. Yes, in that moment we do want to kill you or see you dead because you have done something which has mortally offended us and therefore our reaction in uttering those words is entirely in accordance with a desire to kill but we do not actually do so (and ultimately we do not want to do so) because it goes against our fundamental needs.

Thus for all of these reasons whilst we may say we want you dead or that we want to kill you, the reality is we do not and we will not.

Thus this is the general rule, however, as with all rules, there are exceptions. What are the exceptions when the desire to kill is acted on?

  1. The loss of control through ignited fury. Whilst the ignition of fury can potentially result in any school of narcissist entering a frenzy whereby there is the commission of physical violence, it is the Lesser who is most likely to murder as a consequence of the loss of control. This does not mean that all Lessers will kill, but rather, of all the schools, when there is a serious loss of control resulting in the ignition of fury, then the Lesser will want to kill and can and does kill. The fuel arising from the act, as he stabs, bludgeons, throttles or beats will be significant but not enough to heal the wound that has resulted in the ignition of fury and the loss of control, meaning the murderous act continues until the victim lies dead. Therein the fuel halts from the deceased victim. The narcissist may gain fuel from the reaction of witnesses also but ultimately that burst of fuel has gone with the demise of the victim. The murdering Lesser may use the fact of his killing to gain fuel in the future but as of now, he has lost a major appliance (if for instance he has murdered his IPPS) and therefore he will face a fuel crisis if he does not achieve fuel from alternative sources.
  2. Going, going gone. There are circumstances where the narcissist recognises that the major fuel provider is ‘on the way out’ and thus the fuel is going to be lost anyway. This is not the situation where the appliance is escaping or leaving – our narcissistic perspective of you always belonging to us means that your escape, leaving or departure is not something that will happen because we control you and we will bring you back under our control through a Initial Grand Hoover or through Follow-Up Hoovers. Thus, if someone is about to escape, move away etc, this is not applicable. The situation of Going, Going, Gone applies to where the appliance is at risk of dying. There are two clear situations where this arises ; terminal injury or illness and suicide. In respect of terminal injury or illness, the narcissist knows that the fuel source will not be around for much longer and therefore ‘helping’ this person on their way would appeal to particular narcissists. There also has to be a benefit associated with such an act, namely doing it as an act of revenge for wounding, punishing for railing against the narcissist’s control and such like.

With regard to suicide, if the narcissist recognises that the victim is at a very low ebb and therefore is likely to end their own life and thus deprive (in one final act of defiance) the narcissist of fuel etc, the narcissist will encourage that individual to take their life and push them over the edge. This is rare, but accords with a desire on the part of the narcissist to punish and gain revenge. This punishment and revenge goes beyond that normally experienced and would be as a consequence of a major exposure and/or major wounding. Thus if an individual is in a position whereby suicidal ideation occurs, the narcissist is aware of this and senses that it is likely to occur, the narcissist, in accordance with his or her god-like view of themselves and the need to exact punishing revenge will pressure, cajole, encourage and manipulate to push the victim over the edge so that he or she commits suicide.

3.  Malice. A Greater Narcissist wants you dead. There is no Going, Going Gone scenario which would be harnessed by any of the schools of narcissists. In this instance the malicious and calculating Greater has determined that your death is required. Again, this is rare and the Greater will have evaluated that the loss of a useful appliance is offset by the need to dis-incentivise this individual. There will be no clumsy rage-filled Lesser bludgeoning, or pillow-smothering Mid-Ranger with the dying cancer-ridden parent. Here the Greater sees you as a problem, an obstacle which must be removed. Usually it will be because the Greater recognises that you have access to information which will cause him or her considerable difficulty or that you have the ability to create a significant exposure problem. The Greater will not go down this route lightly, instead he or she will look to manipulate the situation in an alternative manner, but ultimately the Greater’s malicious core, their need for the maintenance of the status quo and their superiority means that sometimes, sometimes there is a need to remove an individual completely. It may be made to be an accident, it may be subtle, it may involve a contract killing, but certain individuals, on rare occasions, will be removed because they pose a threat to the Greater’s plans and control. The individual may be a romantic appliance, a business appliance or a familial appliance, but if the Greater deems their removal necessary and this outweighs the benefits of continued punishment, torture and fuel provision from this individual, then they will be dis-incentivised.

Thus, the prevailing circumstances are that we do not want you dead, no matter how many times it might be threatened, because an alive appliance is a very useful appliance. However, on rare occasions there will be exceptions.



29 thoughts on “Why The Narcissist Wants You Dead

  1. Brooke says:

    My ex narcissistic boyfriend blocked me on Facebook after a month of no contact. I don’t get it. We were not friends I could not even message him. His profile was private. Why block me now?
    He dumped me because he had lied to me about being married and when I found out his “lesbian” roommate was actually his wife, I messaged her and told on him. So he dumped me. But, whatever because it wasn’t like I was planning on staying with him. Still I don’t understand after a month of no contact why block me now?

    1. K says:

      He did it for fuel.

      Blocking is a passive hoover (malign) and he did it to provoke you into contacting him so he could draw negative fuel from you. Ignore it and starve him. You may find this article below very helpful.


    2. Kensey says:

      And…He’s prob telling the “wife” that you are a cra-cray stalker,liar,etc.

  2. annie says:

    I had a relationship of sorts with a narc and he would return constantly to discuss himself on text for hours, then discard me. Then I would complain, and he would tell me I was a “stalker” or “borderline”. He had zero empathy for my feelings. He was addicted to a gambling app, did cocaine recreationally, had zero personal relationships (according to him, he’d ditched most of them due to his dark secret), and said the only woman he could ever love romantically was a satanist. He claimed to love me, then told me feelings change. He flirted and said it wasn’t flirting. He would do something or say something all to control and manipulate me. He is the worst human being I’ve ever met in my life. What was most interesting is that he thought he was some expert on human psychology and analysed me to create a false portrait of me. He turned me into the bad person to avoid himself. He also claimed he wasn’t a narc. He also discarded me on the basis of two lies he claimed I told and then later on that became “irrelevant”. I wouldn’t care if he got hit by a bus at this point although actually I would care very much, I truly loved him. If I told that to him, he’d pounce on it, claiming that I was evil, yet the evil he did to me for approximately two years was constantly justified by him.
    My question is not about the above. I have the intelligence and capacity to deal with it and move on. It’s about Amanda Knox. Do you think Ms. Knox is a killer or just a narc, or both?

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. Violetta says:

        What gives her away for you, HG? I had thought she was just a weird stoner with limited social skills–cartwheels and handstands at the precinct (real smooth). The Italian police badgered her until she would say anything, and ignored Rudy Guede’s obvious guilt.

        However, some of her recent actions–making tasteless jokes at a ghoulish costume party–are very off-key. She returned to Italy, supposedly as part of an innocence project, but you couldn’t pay most people to go back where they’d been falsely imprisoned.

  3. Vendetta says:

    H.G.: just wondering if most narcs are oblivious to the fact that many of us “empaths” were just like you once-upon-a-time: had life not forced some of us into situations that caused us to, beyond our control, grow emotionally and empathetically, we’d be the narcissists we were?

    Because some of us have unwittingly shed who we were when life happened, and empathy and human compassion took over. But that doesn’t mean we’ve forgotten the master-manipulators we used to be.

    We hear so much from narcs about how dangerous they are, with their black and white thinking and their lack of empathy. But do narcs really think we’re all stupid? Because some of us “empaths” remember who we were and how easy it was to pull the strings.

    Do No really think they’re smarter than us? Because in my mind now, I’ve got the person I used to be sitting on the sidelines plotting twisted revenge. It’s not that who I was ever died away with growth…growth merely rendered dormant Narc I used to be.

    Do people seriously not get that part of us “empaths”? Because I’d argue that f-Ing with us is going to be equally dangerous.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Nearly all narcissists will be oblivious to this, yes.

  4. Anm says:

    My daughter’s father is a sociopath. He has mentioned a few times when we were in a formal relationship, that he killed people. I realized that his ultimate fuel would be to either
    A. Someone hates him so much that they come after him, but he kills them out of “self defense”.
    B. He destroys someone to the point they kill themselves, or beg for mercy.
    I think he is always covertly monitoring my mental health to see which direction to push me. This constantly fills his thoughts as an obsession. He gets very desperate , and I am getting more and more better at staying calm and not feeding the beast, or believing what he says. This also makes him brainstorm with new ways on how to make me snap.

    1. Mercy says:

      Anm, I can relate to your last sentence. They are very creative in this area

      1. Kensey says:

        Yes but they are actually just a bunch of flesh hanging on a skeleton, living on this rock that is spinning in space!
        Don’t let them steal your thunder ❤️ Ever!
        Seriously, Kensey

    2. Presque Vu says:

      Yes I can relate Anm, I honestly think my nex was a sexual predator in the things I experienced but also there were pictures he sent me of him covered in bruises – massive bruise patches all over his body.
      I was mortified and concerned, he said he was robbed. My gut was telling me he was dangerous and I just hoped he had never hurt another woman and showed me the results. I pray to god I’m overthinking this.
      When I date again, I am honestly scared of him finding out because the limit of what he is capable of is unknown.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        I have received pics of injured dicks and claims that I supposedly caused them. Like I care. I responded that is not my work but compliments to whoever did it. Mids. Likely stuck it in a vacuum ffs.

        1. Anm says:

          It would be epic if you could take over my professional and personal emails/texts for just one day. I’m sure it would change my life.

          1. Mercy says:

            Anm & NA, This would make a great reality show!!

          2. NarcAngel says:

            Haha. It would be entertaining, but the change might not be for the better (for you).

        2. Presque Vu says:

          That is effing hilarious!!
          *image get out of my head*
          Your sense of humour really does make all the difference here NA 🙂

          1. NarcAngel says:

            Presque Vu
            Thank you. Im glad that you are able to appreciate it.

  5. veronicajones1969 says:

    HG my greater narcissist threatened to kill me himself I was avoiding him at the time I had concerns that he was a narcissist and I was worried about losing myself , it was said in cold fury but I blew it off as not a serious problem but I knew it was a threat I could tell by the way he said it after I exposed him I was destroyed inside by him and took an overdose he knew about it and tried to push me over my limit and nearly did not that he got his hands dirty he got other women to relay his messages when I realised that he was trying to push me I fought him and won when I accepted the threat as real I figured I had nothing to lose ,thankfully I am in the absent silent treatment atm but I am concerned about hoovering most everyone that turned on me is now being really nice and I know that they wouldn’t without his permission they’re either afraid of him or adore him ,I think I am the only person who sees him for what he really is ,should I be expecting a Hoover and what kind ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      This is a matter best served by consultation and I would invite you to arrange one so I can garner more information from you in order to assist you.

  6. Butterfly says:

    Well…that’s another difference between us then…

  7. marinathemermaid3 says:


  8. kel says:

    I don’t know whether to ask or not, but I remember reading that you were involved in someone’s death. Do you mind elaborating on the circumstances and did it bother you? Thank you

    1. HG Tudor says:

      More than one person. I cannot elaborate on the circumstances. No, it never bothers me.

      1. kel says:

        HG, now I’m curious after reading K’s archive. I know the people you extinguished, ok killed, were a menace to society and so I wouldn’t mind any fuel you got from taking them out knowing fuel wasn’t why you did it, but did you get fuel from causing their death? And if you did, was it high grade or something you’d rather not have?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Yes I gained fuel. The potency was not the highest.

    2. K says:

      you may find this comment helpful. HG mentioned the incident on a live Q & A in July 2017.

      SEPTEMBER 10, 2018 AT 00:17
      Here it is Lisa.

      HG Tudor
      OCTOBER 4, 2017 AT 14:06
      Hi Sniglet, no I did not apologise. The subjects deserved what happened and I did humanity a considerable favour. I don’t have the exact time it was mentioned in the live stream to hand and would need to listen through it to find it. Much as I like to hear myself speak I do not have the time so you will have to dig it out. It is contained in the live stream from July (the earlier one) which is in two parts and is in the second part if I recall correctly.


      1. kel says:

        Very cool K! I’ll have to google YouTube July 2017 sometime.

        1. K says:

          The live streams are great and I think you will enjoy them, kel.

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