A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 8
The occurrence which has been dubbed “Megxit” is the gift that keeps on giving in respect of providing further examples of a narcissist in action.
1. Where´s Archie?
You know Archie, he is the son of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, however, bit part player as he is, a Non-Intimate Secondary Source to Miss Markle and since only an 8 month old child he can be placed on the shelf with a nanny whilst the Sussexes returned to the UK to make their announcement.
Doubtless argument would be made that he was better off remaining in Canada than being ping-ponged over the Atlantic and that is the plausible deniability that would be utilised where criticism is directed at Miss Markle for such a decision, however, this act of leaving her son in Canada is instructive when looking at the behaviour through the prism of her narcissism.
It is important to remember that an isolated act, whilst a red flag, does not mean that the individual is a narcissist. One must look at an aggregate of factors before making such a determination and this is what has occurred with regard to Miss Markle. If you read or revisit A Very Royal Narcissist , A Very Royal Narcissist 2 , A Very Royal Narcissist 3 and A Very Royal Narcissist 4 you have the detailed analysis demonstrating that Meghan Markle is a narcissist. What that means is that all behaviour thereafter can be viewed through the prism of narcissism to interpret it. A normal person and a narcissist do not always act the same, but there are some behaviours which are undertaken by both individuals, but the rationale and driving basis for the behaviour is entirely different. This is because for the narcissist, their behaviour is driven by the need for control and fuel as part of The Prime Aims.
Accordingly, by analysing Miss Markle´s behaviour in leaving Archie in Canada through the prism of her narcissism, what do we learn?
- A Lack of Emotional Empathy – she has none and is unconcerned by her son being left for a period of time away from her
- She instinctively feels she has control over him as he is a baby and therefore incapable, at this very young age, of rejecting her control, thus she can place him on the shelf (which is what narcissists do with secondary sources – friends, family, colleagues, intimate secondary sources such as a mistress or side person).
- She exhibits a Sense of Entitlement to do what she wants
- She is Triangulating Prince Harry. By leaving Archie in Canada, Miss Markle triangulates him with his father so that there is a clear basis for ensuring that Prince Harry returns to Canada also so that Miss Markle´s control over Prince Harry remains intact. There is a risk that if Miss Markle had returned to Canada alone leaving Harry in the UK to address the fallout of the bomb that has been dropped (more on this below), Harry might be influenced by the combined forces of the Royal Family to reconsider this planned “stepping back” and thus Miss Markle´s control over him would be weakened. By leaving Archie in Canada, Miss Markle´s narcissism achieves two things – plausible deniability “It wasn’t fair to fly Archie back and forth” when in reality this is just the narcissists cognitive empathy at work, she has no emotional empathy for Archie and does not care about him and secondly, it is a. method of maintaining control over Prince Harry by signalling to him “If you want to see you son again, you will have to leave the UK and therefore escape the interfering influences of the Royal Family”.
2. Dropping The Bomb
This is a common behaviour performed by the narcissist and is a manipulation designed to exert control over the various appliances (people) in the narcissists fuel matrix (see Dropping the Bomb ). Several insights can be gained from this :
- There was no consultation for the “stepping back” announcement and thus this as explained in Part 7 demonstrates various aspects of the narcissistic dynamic and the lack of consultation is part of the Dropping the Bomb manipulation
- Having dropped the bomb, Miss Markle then exits. Job done. No hanging around to deal with the aftermath or the consequences, which demonstrates Sense of Entitlement and Lack of Accountability.
- Prince Harry is left behind to deal with the aftermath, which shows a Lack of Emotional Empathy for him in having to deal with upset, bewildered and angry members of his family, A Sense of Entitlement (I do what I want and if I want to throw you to the lions, so be it) and Lack of Accountability (I answer to nobody, not even my husband).
- It is a Haughty Behaviour showing disrespect to the Royal Family, yes I have told you what we are doing, no, I am not staying to explain myself to the likes of you, toodle pip!
- It is a manifestation of Control
3. What Birthday?
The 9th January was the Duchess of Cambridge´s birthday and this would ordinarily merit celebration and a degree of media attention. This attention, which is fuel when received by a narcissist, is deemed to be wasted by the narcissist when it goes to somebody else and the narcissist´s inherent trait of envy will come to the fore. The narcissist unconsciously feels that their control is being threatened and therefore has to respond.
The “stepping back” announcement was made on the eve of Kate´s birthday. Of course, the Sussexes would claim this was pure coincidence (Plausible Deniability) and if one was dealing with a non-narcissist, that would be the case, but because we know we are dealing with a narcissist, one looks at that behaviour through the prism of the response of a narcissist so that coincidence is not the real reason. Instead, this act demonstrates
- Overshadowing by doing something to take attention away from another person and place it firmly on the narcissist. Thus the “fuel” that would have been provided to the non-narcissist (although they do not need fuel) is acquired by the narcissist. Fuel is the lifeblood of the narcissist
- Control – the threat to the control is reduced or extinguished
- Lack of Emotional Empathy – Miss Markle does not care about Kate´s birthday and will readily dismiss it through the exhibited behaviour
- Sense of Entitlement – I do as I see fit when I see fit and in whatever manner I see fit, regardless of the impact on anybody else.
4. Working For A Solution
It has been reported that following the “stepping back” announcement, the Queen mobilised by organising discussions with the Prince of Wales and the Duke of Cambridge in order to direct senior staff to work with the Sussex household and government to find a solution within days. Good luck with that.
- Miss Markle has exited already, therefore making it difficult to achieve a solution. This demonstrates her Lack of Accountability, Sense of Entitlement, Need for Control and Lack of Emotional Empathy
- Prince Harry finds himself caught between his family and his wife. How many of you who understand what it is to be caught in the grip of a romantic ensnarement have found yourself in such an invidious position? How many of you found yourself agreeing with family but having to do what your narcissist spouse/partner wanted in order to avoid devaluing behaviour from the narcissist? Plenty of you. By leaving Prince Harry in such a torn situation this means that the prospect of a solution becomes limited and coupled with point one above, means it far more likely that Miss Markle gets her way and maintains control. In the less likely event that some kind of solution is found, it will be one which suits Miss Markle because her narcissism has created this imbalance of power and when a solution is found, it is only because that is what the narcissist wants. The narcissists need for control is such that you cannot guarantee making the narcissist do anything and where you do amazingly achieve a compromise or solution through negotiation, you have just been duped again. It was achieved because that was what the narcissist wanted. That is why it was achieved.
- The Royal Family are sent into over drive responding to the pronouncement of the Sussexes (actually Miss Markle) and she will derive a sense of control and the tail wagging the dog because she is able to exert control, the mainstay of the narcissists existence, over the various members of the Royal Family.
5. O Canada!
After returning in the UK after their six-week break in Canada on Tuesday, the BBC reported that Harry and Meghan visited Canada’s High Commission in London to thank the country for hosting them and said the warmth and hospitality they received was “unbelievable”.
Former actress Meghan, who is American, lived and worked in Toronto during her time starring in the popular US drama Suits, and she has several Canadian friends.
What does this demonstrate?
- Facade Management – I am a kind person and my thanking the High Commission shows that I am kind, polite and decent. All part of the facade management that the type of narcissist that Meghan Markle is, deploys.
- Triangulation – are you paying attention Royal Family, British media, the British people? See how lovely Canada is to me, Canada loves us (me). So, I am going to rub your faces in it by attending the Canadian High Commission to say thank you for allowing me to exert control over you. This is where we will now live so what are you, Britain and its media and its people, going to do to in response to this to allow me to control you?
- Grandiosity – an entire country loves us (me)
- Black and White Thinking – you (Royal Family, the British Media, the British people) have been horrible to me and threatened my control of you and therefore you are all painted black. I do not like you. Canada has been lovely to me and therefore submitted to my control. Canada is painted white and therefore everything about Canada is wonderful, fantastic and amazing.
6. Less Than Charitable But Then Again More Than Charitable
The Sussexes (read Miss Markle) were already preparing to launch their own Sussex Royal charity, which they set up after splitting from the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s foundation in June last year.
The Sussexes’ new charity is expected to be global, linked to Africa and the US, rather than domestic – and will have a commitment to female empowerment.
What does this tell us? Yet more evidence of the behaviour of the narcissist.
- Black and White Thinking. I tried to control you, Kate and William, as Non Intimate Secondary Sources (family) in my fuel matrix but you just would not be controlled, so now I do not like you, you are painted black. Remember this response is an unconscious one. So, now you are painted black everything associated with you (Lack of Boundary Recognition) is deemed to be horrible and awful, which includes your charity, so we are splitting.
- Need For Control – I must have control, so I reject you because I am unable to control you.
- Triangulation – look at our charity, it is better than yours.
- Provocation – I am doing my own thing, without you! How’d you like me now? Show me, so that your irritation, annoyance, upset provide me with negative fuel and show that I am controlling you in a different way.
- Grandiosity – your charity is domestic, that is lame. My charity is global, thus it is better and more befitting my status as a global behemoth.
- Magical Thinking – I am a global icon, I am a beacon of female empowerment.
- Facade Management – I have a charity, see I am such an honest, kind, caring and empathic person.
7. Fancy Some Tat?
It was revealed in December the couple had made an application to trademark their Sussex Royal brand across a string of items including books, calendars, clothing, charitable fundraising, education and social care services.
This action again provides insight with regard to the narcissistic mindset of Meghan Markle.
- Control – where you read couple, read Miss Markle. Prince Harry nods when told to by Miss Markle. He is an IPPS who is in devaluation. She makes the decisions and he abides by them, but they are touted as joint in order to manage the facade of harmony.
- Lack of Awareness – this is a crass and tacky step, but the narcissism blinds Miss Markle to it
- Facade Management – this will be touted as a step with regard to achieving the supposed financial independence as part of managing the facade and advancing plausible deniability. It is not, it part of the facade because financial independence will not occur (see below for an element of this).
- Delusional Thinking – I am so loved that these items will sell like hot cakes! My clothing line will be a huge success, I am a person of style! So declares a person who apparently uses spray tan, a hair extension and wears unsuitable clothing.
- Grandiosity – social care and education provided under the Sussex brand because that is what really matters when delivering those services, yes? I am the educator and I am the saviour. Grandiosity at work.
8. Financial Independence (On My Terms)
It seems that this could actually be achieved because Prince Harry has a multi-million pound fortune as part of his inheritance from Diana, Princess of Wales. Miss Markle apparently has a multi-million pound fortune as a woman of independent means, therefore they should be able to look after themselves (plus those Sussex branded calendars and How To Learn To Be An Global Phenomenon Education Packs are bound to bring in the money). Therefore why is it then that, as reported by the BBC,
- The couple said the Sovereign Grant paid for 5% of their official office from 2019, with the remaining 95% being funded by Prince Charles through his income from the Duchy of Cornwall. Basically pater is paying?
- They will retain Frogmore cottage, the Grade-2 listed property in Windsor that cost taxpayers £2.4m to renovate, as their official residence so they have a “place to call home” in the UK.
This evidences further narcissistic behaviours
- Hypocrisy
- Sense of Entitlement
- Lack of Empathy
- Poor Boundary Recognition
- Asset Acquisition – what is yours is mine, what is mine, stays mine.
The saga of the Sussexes continues to provide an excellent guide to narcissism. For those of you who are familiar with my work, it demonstrates to you a host of narcissistic behaviours which you have experienced in your own ensnarements and from studying my work. For those of you who are new to my work, welcome and you should now start to see how certain behaviours which you may have not noticed or you may have frowned at but not realised what they really are, are actually the behaviour of a narcissist. Utilise this saga as an opportunity to learn more about a disorder which is far more prevalent than you may think, use it as an opportunity to ascertain how you may have been affected by narcissists in your life and do something about it and finally recognise how so many commentators in the media completely fail to realise what it is and offer explanations such as this
“Bryony Gordon, a Daily Telegraph journalist who knows and has interviewed the couple, suggested their decision could be linked to their mental health, after becoming a “punching bag” for a “misogynistic and racist” nation.”
There is no doubt that there has been racist behaviour towards Miss Markle and that is unacceptable, but that is not the reason for the decision. It will be used as an excuse, but as this article and the several before it repeatedly demonstrate, this is a narcissist at work and the decision is linked to the need for control and fuel. Perhaps, readers, you will be instrumental in causing the commentators and media to realise what is actually happening here ahead of the inevitable update when we analyse the next behaviour of A Very Royal Narcissist.
To understand more about narcissism access these insightful materials
Sex : How the Narcissist Views Sex and The Role It Plays In Your Entanglement
What Fuel Feels Like To A Narcissist
The Devastation of the Illusion
and read further works at narcsite.com and HG Tudor´s work available on Amazon.
490 thoughts on “A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 8”
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Dearest HG: Are not children born of Royal households, property, so to speak, of the people, by law? And of special status, with different laws pertaining to them, than the laws that pertain to the regular citizenry? I have even heard that a wife of a sovereign, such as the wife of King, that commits adultery, is also guilty, in addition, of domestic treason against the state, and could be put to death. I do not think that Meghan will be able to play custody games with little A.H. Mountbatten-Windsor, as easily as a regular housewife could play games such as international hide-and-seek against a regular husband of her own citizenry. Meghan needs to be very careful.
No, they are not.
HG, I don’t know if you’re aware (I was just informed of this) but I don’t think you have released your NK article yet? Well, a Lifetime Movie is appearing near the end of this month on Watts.
So tacky! But whatever. Though I imagine you releasing your NK article around that time would generate some reads. People love to hate her and rightfully so. The actor has a nicer face than Watts, I must say.
The Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43Hbk5FOAtE
The process of my ex narc charming me to taking me down was two years. Does Meghan have a plot in her mine to destroy Prince Harry, or is it simply just something that will happen as a result of her narc behaviours?
Nearly all narcissists do not plot to destroy for two reasons ;-
1. Nearly all narcissists operate instinctively and not in a calculated manner. It seems calculated to the victim owing to an understandable lack of knowledge about narcissism and the effect of emotional thinking , and
2. You are of no use if you are destroyed. See the article Why The Narcissist Wants You Dead and also see Understanding Malice Campaigns to recognise the criteria where calculated destruction may arise, albeit, it is very rare indeed.
Just found this blog and it is fascinating. One question I have had is about Trevor Engleton, MM’s ex-husband. Why has he not been more vocal? I know there have been tidbits released here and there about their relationship, but this would be the perfect time for a tell-all.
Money talks and also keeps people quiet.
Dearest HG: regarding one of your statements today: “Money talks and also keeps people quiet. “ Hahaha. I have to borrow this saying. I need it in my repertoire.
H
That’s exactly what I was wondering. Maybe he doesn’t know what she is or he is too scared to expose her to the world.
I read that Trevor was broken up when Meghan returned her wedding rings in the mail with no warning. He said he wouldn’t talk about it and has since remarried to a wealthy, beautiful girl. That’s also when she ghosted her childhood friend who tried to talk to Meghan about Trevor’s unhappiness..
Maybe this is his way of GOSO. He may have figured out that she’s bad news under any circumstances, even if he hasn’t used the word “narcissist.”
Aside from Harry and Archie, I feel most sorry for the Queen. We all know grandparents love their grandchildren more than their own children and since Harry’s mother passed away, The Queen was probably his surrogate mother. And I believe she did welcome Meghan and was kind to her, so she must have devastated that she found this out over social media and the fact that Archie is still abroad so she’s not even able to spend time with him before him leaving. He’s already gone! No leaving party, nothing.
Why you gotta do nana Q like that!!?? 😑
That was nasty.
If Gan-Gan dies without ever seeing the baby again, Harry is going to hate himself for the rest of his life. Right now, MM has probably filled his ears with every conspiracy theory about the RF actively causing Mummy’s death (probably not–they just made each other miserable). He’s still symbolically trying to Save Mummy, and throwing away the family he HAS. Well, fairs fair: if she can’t have an extended family to support her, why should he?
@violetta
I agree.
And you’re right, part of it is envy over Harry’s support system.
When I was 15 one of paternal male cousins got in touch with me and my mum made stop speaking to him. He’s never had any conflict with her or me, yet she made me cut off all contact. Meghan is not going to want Harry and Archie to be close with anyone else a part from her and especially without her permission/approval. She will be jealous of Archie being close with his cousins, nana Q, Kate, William and anyone else really. Especially anyone from Harry’s side of the family
That is right. How dare HE have a family, How dare HE be loved and in a white family – so he gets dragged around as a kind of trophy. Everyone has welcomed MM Its in her Narc head.
I think the public’s reaction to this entire series of events is absolutely fascinating. I’ve been involved with a couple narcissists in my life, and MM’s behavior is fairly obviously narcissistic to me. HG is correct that her skin color is neither here nor there — she can be both a perpetrator and a victim at the same time, and in this case, it is true. People like to think in black and white terms that victims are “good” and perpetrators are “bad” but history shows that things are often much more complicated than that. Her behavior doesn’t justify racist attacks, but she is still accountable for the moral character of her own actions. Unfortunately morally bankrupt people sometimes use their own victimization to distract from their immoral actions and escape accountability. Opportunists come in all shapes, sizes, genders, and races.
I have felt the royal family was destined for trouble for a long time for the sole reason that no one humble and unassuming would ever want to marry into that family. No one who wanted any semblance of a normal life would see this scenario as desirable. The royals are therefore destined to marry fame seekers — probably narcissists. In the days when royals married other royals, this didn’t present the same type of problem, but in this day and age, they are not protected from opportunists. Harry in particular was primed for this sort of scenario. He lost his mother at a young age and has deep wounds from that, but his mother also raised him with enough exposure to “normal” life for him to find being a commoner desirable. He also ascribes responsibility for his mother’s death to the press, which may be misguided, given that the proximate causes were the drunken state of the driver that night in Paris and his mother’s own choice to decline royal security. Harry is pre-programmed to see the press as perpetrators and Meghan as the victim, when indeed Meghan may be manipulating the press. Harry isn’t entirely lacking in responsibility here, either — it seems like there is part of him that needs to repeat the trauma of losing his mother and the ensuing battle with the British tabloids (i.e. repetition compulsion).
Ironically, this choice has made Harry and Meghan even more interesting to the press and will probably cause the very thing that Harry thinks he is preventing. Meghan, on the other hand, may not want to prevent press exposure at all, but in this case, she will now appear to be a victim. If they truly wanted privacy, living a secluded life as protected royals behind high security in Britain and doing boring public engagements would be the way to go. Harry’s best bet is to be excruciatingly boring, but he has now made himself incredibly interesting. Funny, I think that’s exactly what Meghan wants.
It’s clear that mainstream exposure will have to come from articles such as these. People turn a deaf ear to aunt Sally or cousin Jack’s abuse, but make an observation about the behaviours of public figures (good or bad) that we don’t even know, and boom! discussion and lots of it. It’s the toehold. Sad but we’ll take it. Fortunately we have the very best to pen them in a way that is logical, articulate, intelligent, and hard to ignore.
Well stated.
Absolutely NA. There are many articles that would be more helpful to Aunt Sally, but it is these articles that get their attention and get them here. One of my commenters said I would be better served sharing something other than junk articles from my “savior”. Drama is what gets attention and drama is what sells. It’s unfortunate, but it’s true.
The bloody Grauniad keeps pushing the racial subject in their opinion section. Enough already, get over it!
There’s another interesting article regarding the subject in The Guardian, however: looks like the runaway couple could face a bitter fight over their Sussex Royal brand outside of UK (they have only registered it in the United Kingdom so far), as someone from Italy applied for European registration of Sussex Royal on Thursday 🤣😂👍 One of your minions, HG? Just for fun?
If they lose, what name should their brand have outside of UK? US Sex Royal, perhaps?
Lipstick Alley’s Unpopular Opinions thread and Shameka Blake’s videos on YouTube have ripped into that whole argument. LA pointed out how she has changed her identification as often as she has changed husbands and religions, and not just to get a part (I lied about my age for years when I was still playing teenagers). Shameka is a proud British citizen who detests the claims that any criticism of MM must be based on color.
Thank you HG for sharing this series of articles. Much appreciated.
My question would be how should the Royal Family negotiate the “demands”. I would give in to many of the requests to de-escalate this situation, on the proviso that it be renegotiated later in the year. With any luck, there might be a divorce which would make the requests redundant, and if not the money can be slowly withdrawn without the drama.
Thank you Annad and welcome.
There is no point seeking to negotiate with a narcissist. You are (inadvertently) seeking to control, that which is designed not to be controlled and thus embarking on a fool’s errand.
So @HG Tudor, how would YOU advise the Royal Family in dealing with MM? What would you suggest IF you cared for them? Or are you just extremely amused and enjoying the chaos?
Let her go and look out for Harry´s interests and when he crumbles intervene. No point intervening now.
Prince Phillip will already be saying, something like “Leave them to it, fool boy will come back when he knows what is good for him and she is no longer welcome.”
Then do the queen and the rest of the royal family just allow everything they’ve stated they’re changing without any push-back? Just read that MM has already made a Disney deal…
Once the scandal fades, so will the offers. She’ll be lucky if she can shill Weight Watchers, as Fergie did.
HG et al. This morning MM andPH are saying it is the palace who don’t want them. And they’ve been told they have no place I in the slimed down version of the royals. How can this be? I thought the palace saw them as part of the modernisation and the future.
Is this more fake news and blame shifting?
I suspect it is. Princess Anne will remain the revered workhorse she is. If there’s an art gallery to be sponsored in Newcastle upon Tyne or a children’s music program in Bovey Tracey, she’s on it. Anything to do with horses, you won’t even have to ask: she’ll contact you.
In these days where royals don’t do politics, their job is PR. They wear the uniform of tailored or ladylike clothing, even if they slop about at home in baggy jeans and concert Ts (or headscarves and sensible shoes, as HM does–she’s been mistaken for a housewife, off-duty). They promote the culture of the UK, the well-being of the UK, with treatment facilities and prevention education programs, the morale of the UK. Just knowing someone prominent gives a toss can make a huge difference.
MM (and then Harry, who was previously well-respected for his support of military veterans), did none of this. They promoted themselves.
Fascinating. A real eye opener this blog. I was always wondering why I really didn’t like MM. I kind of thought that I might just be jealous of her youths and looks me being quite old now. I was especially annoyed of her touching the pregnant belly, for me it seemed abnormal in some ways. Every single time I saw her in TV when she was pregnant she had her hand there in some ways. Now we know why. She is quite a piece, rattling the British Royal Firm. This makes me want to scream: Watch out! Can’t you see!!
Can’t wait for the rest to unfold. Having this analysis from this site is gold.thanks for that.
Thank you Contanten. Your experience reinforces how it is the case that people often identify that something is wrong or off, but they have no idea what is actually behind it.
I am curious as to how MM with all her narcissistic skills, beauty & talent was not more successful in Hollywood. “Suits” is not exactly “A” list viewing. Is it that Hollywood is filled with narcissists who are more skilled at manipulation? Or is she the absolute best narcissist because she snared PH, the most eligible bachelor in the world?
In her world, she achieved success. It is her perspective which rules, not anybody else’s and hers, as a narcissist, is different to that of the majority.
Thank you, @HG Tudor! Your explanation makes sense! And, after all, she may not have been a big deal in Hollywood; she certainly was / is a big fish in the (relatively) small pond of Toronto! Her BFF, Jessica M. is and married into an esteemed Canadian family…connections everywhere!
You’re welcome
I think the fact that MM did NOT achieve any Hollywood acclaim is why she made the move to go the Prince Harry way. She was going to get it come hell or high water or whatever the phrase is.
She’d gladly take being a Jolie type married to a Pitt type if the opportunity arose. The sad thing is of course is that Harry appears to genuinely love her and he has no idea he’s being used as a pawn.
I agree that success is very subjective and not just the amount of attention even for a narcissist probably but also where it comes from. For many, being part of the leading aricrostacy of a country is likely much higher success/status than being a famous actor in Hollywood. They definitely stand out more and can establish lasting legacy while Hollywood stars come and go and are easily forgotten. They are part of popular culture but do not make history. There is also the fact that one needs talent to raise to a certain level as an actor, even with good connections. Doing what MM is doing does not require much; she can even use her good looks to her advantage much more easily than in Hollywood, where there is tremendously more competition for appearance. MM’s current role is does not even require political talent or a drive for charity and to resolve problems, all is just given to her. Isn’t all that much easier “work”?
Unfortunately, interventions most typically fail to make a change. They are good to raise awareness once the target is somewhat out of denial but they still have to do all the hard work to resolve it. There is also the fact that most people don’t like to admit that they have made a mistake, or are letting themselves to be manipulated, hence the persistent denial. I think people who come to this blog for help are already beyond the denial phase and have experienced massive adverse effects. Much trickier at an earlier stage despite it’s usually being easier to resolve a situation that is less advanced.
Indeed. The denial is a manifestation of high emotional thinking. When it comes down, progress is made because there’s room for logic. The victim looks back and often is amazed at the person they were but they never saw it at the time because of the ET.
Completely agree – from personal experience – with the statement that the victim looks back and is amazed that they were the person they were but didn’t see it at the time.
As an example of this, when i met my ex husband i was a senior executive in a cross functional european project team for a huge global company who worked across the continent. I was confident, strong but also kind and caring in my role and was the same in my personal life. I enjoyed life and loved being with friends. Over the 12 years i was married i now know i went from this to a shell – there was literally nothing of me left but i clung to him even though his abuse left me believing i was the most evil person on the planet – he loved to tell me i was so evil i made Hitler look like a toddler having a tantrum. He convinced me i had NPD (it transpires this had been fed to him from a person who worked in mental health who was his new supply) and as i knew nothing about it I researched this and became obsessed with the fact that i was this vile horrible person who could not be treated (several years on now i was finally told last year i do not have it from a medical professional). In the end my every waking thought and nightmare every single night was how evil I was. I did escape but by the time I left I was a zombie, completely engulfed by the thoughts that i was so incredibly evil I deserved to be dead. There was nothing of the confident, energetic person i had been. Throughout all this time my mother, when we visited home (my parents lived several hundred miles from where i located to be with my ex husband) would take me away from him for coffee and tell me i wasn’t the person I used to be but i would tell her I was fine, i was happy, i was doing what i was meant to do as a wife and try to keep my husband happy. I remember one of these meetings very specifically and it was very soon after the daily rages started and yet i still said i was ok i was just trying to do everything i was mean to do to keep him happy. I couldn’t see that i was absolutely and utterly broken and that there was just a shell left because i was so dependant on him and making sure i did everything i could to be the wife he wanted. Also when we visited my hometown my best friend tells me i used to tell her topics of conversation to avoid in advance because of the ramifications if they were mentioned – i have blocked this and lots of other things out but apparently my god daughter knew of this aswell. It wasn’t until i met someone from a local church who had connections at the local domestic abuse charity who put me in touch with them because of concerns. That lovely lady who became my keyworker along with my best friend and family helped me plan an escape over the next few weeks and that in itself had to be a military operation,
Its now many years on and i am only just starting to find and have the ability to let elements of the old me come out again. I was only able to live alone again 18 months ago because if the damage done to my mental health. It took me a long long time to be able to look back and see clearly what had happened to me and acknowledge it and the damage that had happened to the me I used to be.
You are so engulfed in survival (even though you don’t recognise what you are doing is trying to survive because in your mind it is “love” – i mean what the hell???) that you cannot see the truth of the matter.
That is why you hope to goodness for anyone else it never gets that far and It is why you recognise what is happening to others when they can’t recognise it themselves. And I think it is why i have always sensed that there was something not quite right about MM. its just that now there are so many red flags that I recognise from my own experiences – lets face if you know what you are dealing with you don’t have to be within the intimate circle of people to be able to spot the warning signs. Lets hope it just doesn’t get too far. PH is very strong in some things (no one can serve in the armed forces without that i would imagine) but he clearly has some fragilities and a narc will spot those very quickly, pounce on them and exploit them for there own ends.
Its all a very sad situation. I just don’t understand why people really aren’t taking this seriously with such a high profile figure and vilify the small number of people who are now beginning to question her motives.
Food for thought indeed.
Good acting means throwing energy back and forth between you and your scene partners. I did some Shakespeare with Maggie Grace before she was famous, when she was just an amazingly talented teenager in Columbus, Ohio. Any scene you had with her, your acting would be sharpened. Her character would do something, read a line in an unexpected way, and you’d have a reaction that you wouldn’t have had with a lesser actress. Then she’d pick up on what you did. I had done this show once before, and difference between Maggie’s interpretation and that of the previous actress, an experienced performer at least in her 30s, was night and day.
MM cannot do this. No matter how many people are in a scene, her performances are always monologues.
That’s no actress. Grace Kelly was an actress. AJ Langer, now Countess of Devon, was an actress.
MM never quite got past “starlet.” Good acting means throwing energy back and forth between you and your scene partners. MM cannot do this. No matter how many people are in a scene, her performances are always monologues.
Sorry for double post. Phone froze.
Contanten, this was one of the articles I was sharing yesterday too. I think it’s the best one for introduction. I’m posting it here for you in case you haven’t read it yet. Narcsite is full of the best information, but can be daunting when you first arrive. Welcome! Stay a while. https://narcsite.com/2019/10/16/something-does-not-feel-right/
My comment is not out to shame any parent who has to leave their children with a caregiver for an extended period of time.
I want to point out that the first 3 years of a child’s life is considered by psychologist as a very sensitive and prevelant time for a child’s brain development, and to form their relationship attachment styles for the rest of their life. I am not trying to highjack and divert the subject, but I want to again bring up the Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt relationship, as this can compare another toxic couple in the spotlight with a lot of money. Lol. We can all agree that Angelina and Megan are both toxic. When we look at their own past and family dynamics, we see a history of cutting off a parent during childhood. Angelina and Megan both cut their fathers out. Both have stated that they had a rough upbringing.
Megan Markle is obviously displaying more of a narcissistic/sociopathic style in parenting. Even though Archie is in the most sensitive time of his life for development, Megan chooses to create distance. This creates a detachment in her bond with Archie. This can/will probably continue her style of parenting, and will lead her to become a disciplinarian type parent. Not very loving, but forceful/manipulative/controling. Ultimately she will psychologically project the trauma she went through as a child with Archie’s childhood, and try to get him to reject his dad’s side of the family as well.
Angelina Jolie is displaying more of a Borderline Personality Disordered/Narcissistic Parenting style. She is known for keeping her children by her side at all times. There may he a nanny, but her children were always within her reach, to a point of it not being healthy, and a loss in identity of the children-unless it suited the mother. This creates an over enmeshment in attachment and parenting. Over attachment with her, will cause an emotional cutoff with Brad Pitt, and his life/family, etc. Same thing happening with her. projection about her childhood onto her children to reject the parent and his side.
Long story short, look at these crazy people and how they have a history of “cutting people off” in their family. Empathic people have to do it as well, but for the right reasons so I am not shaming that. But the toxic people will have that it atleast the previous generational dynamic, and may keep going back multiple generations. They keep living out this trauma of family feuding and “stepping away” from family because it’s engrained in their psych.
Good insight. Also with issues of attachment I think of RAD. I know that happens in extreme cases but a child with RAD becomes an adult with a personality disorder themselves.
Outside of an emergency or dire need to work – I cannot imagine leaving my 8 month old baby a half world away!! I would have rather died.
beardown2020,
“Outside of an emergency or dire need to work – I cannot imagine leaving my 8 month old baby a half world away!!”
Right!?
It’s not like it’s the next town, or even another country ..it is an *entire* continent and ocean away!
She abandoned her dogs to move to the UK. She claimed they were too old, but the oldest was five, according to her own blog. Her defenders cites travel and quarantine regulations, but people who knew about both in the UK mentioned ways she could have done it, including ship rather than plane.
His mother was so good with kids, it’s strange Harry didn’t sense anything “off” about the way she interacts with Archie or with animals. There was one charity event where a dog politely submitted to being petted by her, then ran back to the handler ASAP. It was bizarre. I’ve seen dogs, especially recent rescues, who are too traumatized to let anyone pet them, and I’ve met a few dogs who just wouldn’t make friends with me (maybe I smell like someone they knew), but when they do let you pet them, they will usually folllow it by a) sitting on your foot so you can’t go away; b) arranging head or rear so you can scratch under the chin or on the rear, depending on canine preference; c) doing the canine “bow” or bouncing off your legs, which means “great petting, now come play with me!”
Her actions with Archie are along the same lines. They can’t be called interactions.
So true. You can really get an idea of a person based on how they treat the most vulnerable- children, animals, the elderly, the disabled etc.
For what it’s worth- I had a horrible time leaving my dog for a week when we went on a family vacation. He was not kenneled but with friends. I love dogs and yes that was one thing that got my attention about MM as well!!
beardown2020,
True. I pay attention to those behaviours too but as long as narcisssists are alone.
They change their behaviour when there are other people around. They pretend to be caring and empathetic.
Violetta
Yes, its intriguing that one. I guess he made excuses for those red flags, so enamoured with her, he was.
I have also known narcs to be very good with animals. PN was utterly appalling. Especially with dogs. He had no idea how to read them and would bully them. He would put on this loud, stentorian tone whilst standing over them. It was appalling.
He did this with one of the family dogs. Unfortunately once too often and the male dog started to assert dominance over him. He started to become overtly aggressive. Needed to be shut away in the kitchen.
Once, the dog was going crazy. He shoved me in the kitchen with a large and now, out of control dog. I was beyond out hysterical. By now the dog was biting. He shut the door behind me. Fortunately the dog didnt go for me.
Funny now you mention it, PN never really had anything to do with them. Never petted or fussed them.
Intresting.
Renarde,
I think whenever a narc appears to be good with animals it is totally facade driven.
And when it comes to hands on care and real empathy driven behaviour, they are found lacking.
Like as you state:
“Funny now you mention it, PN never really had anything to do with them. Never petted or fussed them.”
My mother fooled me (and many others) for most of my life, thinking she was an “animal lover”.
But now if I revisit her actions with regard to the animals in her life, with a clearer perspective, I can now see that it was all facade.
I never knew how she could bear to leave our family dog (of many years) at the local animal shelter to await the veterinarian’s return on Monday to be put down (we arrived there on a Sunday.) I didn’t know better because I was a child and I accepted her explanation that it was “better” for my father who was very “soft-hearted” about animals and that if we brought our poodle back home after making the difficult decision to have her put to sleep (due to old age and worsening health) that it would destroy him. It seemed empathetic at the time…but I cry every time at the thought of our very old, very sick poodle spending her last night in a metal cage, and her last moments with strangers…
I wonder if my mother told my dad something similar; that it would be too hard on me to bring our dog home and then *back* again…I wonder if it stabbed him in the heart too, every time he thought back to that time. We never talked about it. My dad, I realize now, did all the hands on day to day care of the animals.
When my parents split – we had to get rid of my retriever mix – she was a beautiful dog and was gifted to me by relatives as a puppy. My mother couldn’t “afford” to care for her anymore now my dad was out of the picture and we lead “too busy” lives to care for a large, energetic dog…since my dad was the one who was home (due to a disability) enough to care for her – I would take her hiking with me etc. but was busy with school…
We rehomed her with a mom and a little boy with developmental issues who needed a companion. It *felt* like *right* thing to do…but, now I think back and can’t help but think: wasn’t I a child, as well, who could use a companion during a difficult time? But now I realize it was probably a strike at my dad to make him feel guilty for leaving and hurt him ( as an animal lover himself to give away the family pet).
There are further examples I could add – I could never understand why in times of duress we always had to give up a pet?
My mother *almost* succeeded in doing this again – right after the end of my entanglement – when she was back in my life a bit and before I realized she is a narcissist. She nearly had me thinking it was for the good of my cat to re-home him…I almost did it. My cat of 15 years.
Didn’t though. Kept the cat, ditched the narcs. My cat always hated the both of them. Now I know why.
WhoCares
Bless you. Your post has got me. Isnt it funny that we are on MM threads and now we are talking about animals? That’s what I love about NS. We can go utterly tangential but it still makes sense.
Apart from my three gorgeous cats, I also used to own two dogs. Both gorgeous. Both rescues and both lived out their natural lives. The male in particular was utterly devoted to me. My shadow. When the time came, he did not want to go. He had to be ‘guided over’. He was in pain. Loyal to the end.
When I was growing up, we had two dogs. When the second one had to ho, utterly demented she had become, I had to argue extremely forcefully that she had to be put down NOW. I felt wretched for arguing fir this poor dogs death but mum and bro were resisting it. PN said absolutly nothing.
In the end, I won. She was put down. I am utterly certain I did the right thing. According to my ex, bro was fucking her. Words cannot even begin to describe. Of course, I have no idea if it was true or not. Knowing bro though, it probably was.
Then a few years later they want another dog. I’m still in contact and said, good idea but dont pick a dog that needs a lot of effort on walking. Neither of my parents understood the need that they have to be exercised at least daily.
Dont pick a Collie, I advised. The first dog I illustrated was a Smooth Collie. So what did they pick? Yup, you guessed it.
They dont walk her. Shes a gentle soul. Who now runs around the house, barking all the time. Shes in high distress and anxiety.
PN would never take any of our dogs out. Left to mum who hadn’t a fucking clue how to handle a dog. Wouldn’t allow any of them off the lead. But you must allow dogs off the lead if it’s safe to do do. They have to be able to wear themselves out. Mum could never do this because she had to be in control. Much like she treated me as a child. But children grow up.
Anyway, my cats are here with me now. I think maybe in time, I will get another dog. Possibly two. Both Irish Wolfhounds. Always wanted that.
I’m going to tell you a distressing story concerning narcs who I knew.
They went through four labradors. Four. Bought one. Put down. Bought two, put down. Bought a fourth. No idea what happened there. Mum was a middle. No question. Said she coukdnt handle the dogs. So why keep on buying that type of dog if you couldbt handle it? Weird but of course makes utter sense from the perspective of a narc.
Her daughter, my one time best friend, greatly resembled a golden Labrador. Much in the same way James Cordon does.
Renarde,
I get what you mean by tangential and I appreciate Narcsite for that too. I don’t think it is quite tangential though; especially when someone senses that there is something ‘off’ about a person’s attitude towards animals but write it off as something else – I always thought my narc’s take on pets was a cultural thing (since Canadians are close to their family pets but in some cultures animals “stay outside” and that is the proper place for them and it is not unempathetic to think this way in those places.)
I am sorry for your two family dogs – that is both distressing and disturbing…and glad you have your cats!
Regarding the labradors in your friend’s family – narc’s make no sense.. I have heard somewhat similar stories where people have taken their “rescue” dog back to the shelter and then “try out” another…like a revolving door…problem is not likely with the dogs.(This was years ago and I think happens less now due to adoption assessments.)
Irish Wolfhounds sound lovely; more like having two small ponies though! I do like large breed dogs as well.
My cat I spoke of died two summers ago. And I decided I do not want another cat and opted to get a Mastiff puppy – it was a bit of an emotional choice for my son and me but, personality wise, she was a perfect choice.
Thanks for the laugh at the end re: JC – this subject needs some levity!
Renarde:
The dog didn’t bite you because he knew who was the problem.
I’m glad the subject of animals was brought up. This is something that has some what confused me about my ex lesser. He called himself an animal lover as he worked on farms most of his life. This was one of the things that attracted me to him as I love animals. I’ve had pets for the majority of my life.
As time went on I noticed his care of our pets (mostly hamsters, cats and he got some rats which I was not happy about) was lacking. He never wanted to take them to the vet no matter how sick they were. He said we could treat them at home.Even if they were dying and obviously suffering he wouldn’t take them to be put down but rather let them suffer until the end. It was heart breaking to watch.
I told him one time I was taking one of our pets to the vet and he can’t stop me. He didn’t like that.
The few times I did convince him to come with me to the vet it was so embarrassing for me. He would talk non stop and challenge the vet. Like he knew more about veterinarian medicine than the actual doctor.
Another memory I have is when we first moved in together I had a pet fish. It was a Friday night and I started cleaning out the tank. My ex literally threw a fit because I was cleaning rather than being with him. I was confused, it would take me no longer than 5 minutes to finish. I don’t know if that really has anything to do with the fish but I just remembered it as I was typing this.
Exactly CandaceMarie – “He called himself an animal lover as he worked on farms most of his life. This was one of the things that attracted me to him as I love animals”
It is all facade management – and it’s a good ploy too – since they believe it – unconsciously though animals are just pawns.
CandaceMarie
Cleaning the fish tank was perceived as a criticism/wounding and the loss of control (your attention was directed towards the fish tank, not your ex) was addressed by your ex throwing a fit, thus directing your emotional attention towards him, where it belonged.
An explanation for his behavior can be found in the link below.
“opportunity to contest the option of a medical expert which manifests grandiosity and haughtiness,”
https://narcsite.com/2019/08/23/the-overwhelming-angel/comment-page-1/
Letting his pets suffer until the end displays a complete and utter lack of emotional empathy and triangulation; he new it was heartbreaking for you to watch (fuel and control).
Thank you K!
My pleasure, CandaceMarie!
My MMRN behaved like your ex did at the Vets, however, it was at the pediatricians office and it was embarrassing.
I can’t imagine a normal mother leaving her infant like that either, but I was under the impression that this is quite common for the Royals. That the Queen and Diana did it also, although the media did note the difference in the reunions with the children (quite stiff with the Queen and open arms smiling by Diana).
I think things were very different and there were different expectations for the queen. It was a different world then. It is said she is immensely impressed with Kate’s hands on involvement with the upbringing of their 3 children and how she is bringing George up to one day assume the throne so it may be that she recognises times are now different and is impressed by the way Kate handles things.
You are very right – it’s common for the royals and aristocracy to have nannies and leave for long periods. BUT- MM was not brought up that way. American and middle class. Even with divorce, still it was “American”. I guess what I am saying is that based on the way I grew up, I know I would want to be with my babies. Especially that young and as a first time mom. In fact, I didn’t return to work because of it. Even if I had the money, I would want to be the one who was with them. I am sure it is all hard-wired and primal for new mothers. Leaving my 8 month old? I would have been in tears and wouldn’t be able to be that far away. Plus she is using Archie for collateral. I really feel for that sweet baby.
I read the first paragraph and thought – do you have a crystal ball? Apparently they were only intending to be in the UK for a few days so they didn’t want to put Archie through the problems caused by jetlag…. Think you called it there. Like I believe that.
I do find the response of the general public so interesting. MM as the narc has employed that incredible talent narcs have of charming the general populous outside the intimate family unit. I think tactics she has used here has included pity parties and deflecting all the blame for what are basically the results of her own narc behaviours onto anyone that it can be thrown at as long as none of it sticks to her so she isn’t seen for who she truly is. The purpose here being to distract others from the true self by convincing them that she is such a wonderful person who doesn’t deserve to be treated how she has been by the royal family (let’s try to do something that can cause damage to that institution who atleast a couple of the senior members of may have started to see through me), the British public and media who have also maybe started to see through my act. Let’s gather this global support network of people I don’t know through social media so I can feed off them aswell with how hard my life is. It’s not enough to survive – screw those people out there who actually are hanging on by a thread because I have no empathy for what they might actually be going through I am so important I have to thrive (and by thrive I do include using my new title to fuel my need for the highest levels of fame and wealth without doing much work to deserve them). And they fall under the narcs spell and support her and tell her what an amazing strong woman she is.
And then you just have the odd person who speaks up and calls her out – and I do wonder if these are people who have experienced narc abuse because I know I have a highly tuned narc radar after many years of intense narc control and abuse, the subsequent 5 year divorce and further 5 years trying to heal mentally and said very early on she was a narc, possibly because I noticed the huge changes in PH’s character and distancing himself from the family he had been so close to, effectively isolating himself without her needing to do the dirty work visibly which is exactly what happened to me. Said supporters above then jump on these people questioning the status quo accusing them of bullying the narc (no wonder she wants to extract her family from such a toxic relationship when there are people out there daring to question her motives etc etc) when actually they are the ones ironically bullying those out there with valid concerns. They then become flying monkies via social media in their millions of some one they actually do not know other than a carefully managed public persona – which of course is what all narcs have. Part of that charm offensive I mentioned. Even the wicked witch of the west could only dream of such an army of flying monkies.
It really is the hugest most perfect high profile narc role available on a truly global scale not just encompassing the fuel from the IPPS but also the fuel from millions of members of the general public out there also being pulled in and hood winked by a person that in reality doesn’t exist, just a facade behind which there is little substance. And all stage managed through that wonderful invention of online presence and social media giving the widest public audience possible. She must wring her hands with glee.
I have to say I have to laugh at the comments of people who say how can you possibly think she wants the fame and fortune when all she wants to withdraw her beloved family to place of safety and protection. Of course that’s what she wants to do – that’s why she dropped a bomb causing chaos in the worlds premier royal family and do it purposely timed to overshadow a senior royal member’s birthday then retreats to let the husband she supposedly loves so much deal with fallout from your announcement that will obviously cause media sensation across the globe splashing your name across the papers and internet news platforms – then back that up the next day with a perfectly timed post showing a photo opportunity at a charitable cause that happens a few months ago to say loom we really are good, kind, empathic, perfect people who can’t do anything wrong and are the victims of such misunderstanding and vitriole… are these people really so naive? I call BS!!! And let’s face it she has a track record of stealing the limelight announcing her pregnancy at the reception of another royal family members wedding… pur-lease! Just the actions of someone who just wants privacy and fairness.
Rant over.
Great posts – confirm everything I’ve suspected for a long time and explain the reasons why. Actually very helpful in my own journey. Thank you.
Thank you and you are welcome.
Great rundown, HG. I saw this in the news and just couldn’t believe it. I feel so badly for Harry b/c it is clear he is trying to convince himself this is what he wants.
I’ve been a long time reader of your work HG and this is my first time commenting on your blog. I absolutely love how you peel back the layers of narcissism. I’ve lived my own personal experiences as a survivor of a mid ranger and it’s taken me years to sort through the abuse, educate myself through your work and learn how to deal with co-parenting with Satan himself. The uneducated general public just cannot fathom how narcissism truly operates. In my opinion, when people can’t understand something, they reject it. You are spot on about MM and the angel with the dirty face that she is. The time has come for greater education!
Thank you for your comments and for reading. Welcome to the comments, please do continue to comment and get involved.
Another fantastic article HG! Thank you.
I have read many omments on Twitter. People don’t want to accept that Meghan is a narcissist. The comment I see the most is that Meghan is helping him leave the royal life which is something he has wanted to do for years. People are so quick to dismiss the fact she is a narcissist without reading about it. I don’t know why. It could be because she is a royal and an actress so they assume this means she must be a good person.
Keep up the good work HG! It is very helpful!
Thank you CM.
She showed us that you cant make a narcissist happy even if you give them the world!
Indeed because we are unable to experience happiness.
Just found this blog from a daily mail commenter who mentioned your name. Thanks so much. Fascinating reading.
Thank you for reading Mrs Trellis and for letting me know how you found out.
Welcome Mrs Trellis. Do stay awhile 😊
Yes- just would like to know how do you know HG that this is absolutely true- could it possible
to look at this through another lease or to you it is the absolute truth. I mean- how can you know for sure Meghan was so
sick of tired of getting harassed racially- and then for instance- Oprah’s advice which they took was really the reason they decided to make their changes- Oprah had in fact told them as advice exactly the decisions they made- or that possibly it was a healthy decision on their parts to carve out a more authentic life for themselves
outside the Royal family. And- for instance- her leaving the baby in Canada a way to save little Archie from having to travel across the ocean twice? Is there any possibly there is any heathy decision making in this?
I have analysed her behaviours which are determinative of the behaviour of a narcissist. As explained in the articles, Michele, this means that future behaviour is interpreted through the lens of narcissism.
Leaving your 8-month old baby in another country while you fly back and forth? It sounds like Archie is being used as a bargaining chip. The empathic parent will not see it that way though and will rationalise the reasons behind it.
Narcissists put themselves, their personal goals, and their machinations for control ahead of the best interests of their children. This is how narcissism starts in their children in the first place.
As the empath in this relationship, Harry is willing to put the family and Archie’s interests first, and he probably believes this will lead to a happier and more secure future for them all. A narcissist doesn’t think in this way. The narcissist exploits the empath’s goodwill and hopefulness.
She will fight for custody during the divorce, and if she gets it, promptly put Archie in the care of nannies.
Agree. H.G., do you think they will have more babies? Do you think she is pregnant? What happens if fetal monitoring shows that the child is in any way disabled, for example has Down’s Syndrome?
Hi Cinderella,
You can get the answers here
https://narcsite.com/2020/01/13/a-very-royal-narcissist-the-inside-track/
Hi Violetta, my understanding is that the Queen retains custody of the minor children dated from a precedent from generations earlier. I have no idea what that means in 2020 and if it’s legally binding?
If HM takes such a step, MM will milk it for all the sympathy she can get. Win-win for her: everyone takes her side, poor deprived mother, & she doesn’t have to worry about night feedings & stinky nappies.
So true Violetta!
Note: if her child is in Canada and she is across the ocean then she already has no worry about night feedings.
Her minions will claim she pumped and froze breast milk.
Haha, just saw this now!
Violetta,
If this plan to spend their time 50/50 in UK and Canada works out in Meghan’s favour, Archie will be away from the RF’s influence for half the time. So, he’ll be under the control of Meghan more than the others in the family.
The ‘minions’ who will pity her as the ‘poor maligned mother’ will not see it as ‘control’ though, but as a maternal right or will say that she’s the one who naturally has Archie’s best interests in mind because she is his mother.
Either way, her schemes will convince a lot of people because of the widespread unawareness of narcissism.
Dear Mr Tudor,
What I find extremely alarming …….it’s taken just ONE person’s influence (an OUTSIDER) to create all this damage to the Royal household!
Thank you for your incredible work on this
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Thank you. And interestingly I’ve been suspended from Twitter because of my A Very Royal Narcissist articles. We have them rattled. Make sure you post and share everywhere Tudoritea!
HG
Suspended from Twitter?!? Ok, I am on it!
HG approves
Dear Mr Tudor,
😱
Dear oh dear …… you’ve hit a right Royal nerve then !
Help is on the way !
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
HG approves
Dear Mr Tudor,
I’ve just now read … megs has signed a “voice over” deal with Disney …. did it whilst in Canada over Xmas
Talk about behind your back and sneaky
Surely she would’ve signed papers upon entering the right Royal house
What a right Royal mess
The right Royal plot thickens 😱
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Bubbles:
“you’ve hit a right Royal nerve then !”
That he has. Shameka Blake, a British Woman of Color who was disgusted by Meghan’s antics on multiple levels, had a blog and a YT channel, both of which were shut down at one point.
She got them back eventually. (NSFW, but hilarious.)
They’re actually less likely to shut down the sillier sites with theories that Archie is a Darren doll or a series of borrowed babies, but get in a few accurate shots, and they can’t wait to silence you.
Truth hurts, and so on.
Dear Violetta,
Hahahahaha ….. I think you’re right
Facebook finds offence over everything and anything
I read one of the terms n conditions on twitter ….if you get too popular or too have many followers
Maybe that’s it ….. haha
I’m sure Mr Tudor will have his way with his wonderful words and have it rectified pronto
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
HG
Suspended from Twatter on what basis?
At this juncture all I know it’s to do with the AVN articles. I’m at a dinner party so I’ve not had chance to find out more just yet.
HG,
I would like to know on what basis as well. The information you provide on Twitter is reasonable and intellectually sound.
Yet Trump is the US President and he uses Twitter to vent and say ridiculous and blatantly stupid things and his account stays open? Seriously?! It’s no wonder the world is in such a state.
Don’t worry HG, it means you are making a mark. It’s actually progress and it signifies that more people are taking notice.
Indeed, WN.
I do hope That means Harry has read them and it has at least sown a seed.
Is FB intact, HG?
No worries, I’ll share the lot on mine!
It is thank you. Thank you for sharing.
Alexis
My gut says he hasn’t. Hell be in an utter tailspin atm but he has to be aware what people are generally saying.
But SOMEONE clearly has read them.
HG, I’m pretty sure you’re officially famous if you’ve been banned from Twitter.
Ha ha not banned, a suspension. Merely a blip.
Well you’re famous to us. I don’t get how they can suspend you. It’s not like the content is vulgar or you’re planning terrorist acts. Someone high up had to have a hand in it. Or too many whiny mids complaining
I’ll no doubt find out in due course.
Mercy,
Someone (one or more Tw users) must have *reported* HG’s account to have it suspended. HG stands out in the field. Mediocre psychologists and therapists see him as the competition.
E.B.
You’re probably right but what stops any group of people from shutting down a person’s account. It can’t just be complainers… can it? I don’t know.
I have read it may take seven days to get your account unsuspended.
I continue posting links to your articles. Although a twitter user said I am one of those ‘haters’ who are ‘bullying’ MM, most people find Part 8 insightful.
I hope more and more people become aware of different kinds of narcissistic behaviours, especially those exhibited by female MRNs.
Thank you for doing so, EB. Readers are having an influence though sharing my work, especially the AVN series. Also, the response of some only serves to underline the ignorance of what is happening and reinforces people’s experiences in their own lives of trying to get people to see what is actually going on. It’s instructive.
My pleasure, HG. I would like to add that genuine victims want to learn and know why. There are also narcissists of the Victim type on social media who only want to complain and get fuel. They are closed-minded, unreceptive. Their behaviour does not make sense.
Real victims are interested in new information, they want to understand.
Correct.
Remember, when you encounter the individuals who respond in the aggressive manner, it is a red flag and therefore keep ET under control and apply GOSO. Spread the word but don’t be distracted by the behaviour of the absurd!
Thank you for the reminder, HG.
In the last 24 hours, I’ve had a gross amount of 1780 green-arrows on DM comments, with a net of 1725. The vast majority of my comments have been on the Sussexes, referring people to the “Narc Bomb” article as well as the AVRN series (presumably they’ll make the connection with MM’s antics at Eugenie’s wedding, Trooping the Colors, Christmas, Catherine’s birthday…and as I think NarcAngel suggested, eventually apply the knowledge to Cousin Hubert and Crazy Aunt Ethel). So, yeah, I think people are getting the signal.
We may have fears that HG will have less time to interact with Tudorites here on the blog as traffic increases, but the payoff will be knowing that more people will find freedom from the kind of slime-molds who’ve marred our lives.
If that means more money and publicity (and fuel) for HG, it’s win-win. I’ve only bought two books and one Grinch recording so far, and they were bloody well worth it, considering how much I’ve benefitted from the free articles, from sharing experiences with other recovering Narcoholics (and just gratuitously enjoyed the readings of Shelley and Poe).
A well-balanced observation.
“Twatter.”
Ooh, LTTSF.
(Laughing Til The Snot Flies.)
When LOL-ing just isn’t enough.
LTTSF 🤣
On the basis of The Five Rules Of Twitter established by Twitter and its good doctors in order to create an appropriate environment for its users.
Yawn.
Indeed Mr. Tudor, in a perfect scenario like this you are supposed to be bored, but mainly you are supposed to express a feeling of injustice just like you and your readers just did here and it amused me greatly. I just couldn’t help but express my satisfaction of watching how a great and important company spits in your little and irrelevant face XD.
Bye Mr. Tudor Bye, see you in the next spit on you, I will be there amused by watching the saliva falling down from your powerless face slowly haha hahaha hahahahaaaaaaaaaq haha.
PS: I just saw you posted the article on Facebook too. I think your article insults my GREAT love for the Crown of England and Facebook needs to know it XD.
Narccissuss,
Thank you for a great example of something I was talking about recently in the lack of considering the risk in the future by narcissists! I appreciate your help with this!
Your comment was either to provoke a reaction or to show power, or maybe a mix of both. What it showed was a lack of consideration on what the reaction would be. If people posted more on their own sites or other public sites to compensate for HG’s inactive Twitter account, what will they do today with the threat of losing his Facebook account? The population that knew he had a Twitter or Facebook account is minimal compared to the population where these may now be posted to offset. You potentially just caused more individuals to discover HG than possibly would have before, and thus his power could grow instead of diminish.
Congratulations on using your power to potentially positively impact HG.
Ooh Narccissus, I’m still patiently waiting for you to reply to my question on a different thread. I hope you saw it.
I kept checking, no answer. Perhaps you could be kind enough to answer here instead. I’m very interested in what you will say.
How will you stop us from posting on news sites or blogs? Many of us use different tags/avatars for different groups.
Here come the Tudorites
Guarding the ‘hood
Someone blocks our HG
Someone don’t feel so good!
“I’ve been suspended from Twitter”
DaFUQ?!!
Wow. They won’t suspend Trump but they suspend you?
Indeed
HG must have used the British spelling for “covfefe.” Twitter can be very strict about these things.
Wankers
HG speaks the truth. Trump spews garbage
Kim e: That’s the problem. Truth is dangerous.
SMH,
This proves HG is taken seriously. They know that what he said about MM is true.
E.B., yes, I think so too. It is very threatening to the RF.
Meghan loves stealing the limelight. She also announced she was pregnant on Princess Eugene’s wedding.
Yep. Narc bombs at weddings, Trooping the Colors, Catherine’s birthday, Jesus’ birthday. Even the Holy Child gets upstaged by Megs.
Yes, I noticed the scene-stealing pregnancy announcement too. Hideous. I have a narc brother who announced his decision to marry his current wife at my father’s 75th birthday party. My father didn’t even know the woman, nor did anyone else at the party except my narc brother. Honestly, they all operate from the same shitty playbook.
You are suspended?! How long has this been the case and it seems inappropriate for twitter to suspend you. I mean Trump (from what I hear) is always an ass on there. Your articles have been written with no poor language, etc.— only informative and expressing a view.
I’ll find out after I stop consuming pinot noir
What kind of Pinot Noir, HG? A patriotic choice, perhaps, Gusbourne (my favorite English still), or a more classic choice of Burgundy?
Are you a narcissist?
Let me check.
“KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT NARCISSISTS FROM THE WORLD’S NO.1 SOURCE. A NARCISSIST HIMSELF.”
Yes, that description at the header of my blog tells me that I am.
HG:
I’m shocked. Shocked.
Dan Wigner
That has to be hands down the funniest comment I’ve read on here in a long time.
I am sorry to hear that, HG. I don’t like Twitter, but I understand it is a good means of spreading the word. As I mentioned, it was Twitter how I uncovered the narc–so I have avoided it ever since (not only b/c of him but I just don’t like how nasty people are there).
Omg
Suspended from Twitter !!
This is the problem, not only does the world need to learn about what NPD actually is, then the other problem is the fuel matrix!!
All depends where people are on that ……..
It will be addressed and remedied. Plenty of outlets available for this information and the spike in hits over the last few days and new people arriving are testament to the strength of my work.
HG
Now now, we know you lot don’t like to share the spotlight, but the attention and new arrivals are also testament to the dedication and determination of your readers to get the word out on both your behalf and those unaware, suffering, and searching. Good job Tudorites!
I always appreciate the endeavours of loyal readers in spreading awareness of my work and referring people to it. More power to your fingers!
His work is what inspires us to spread to word. It’s all good.
HG, these people cant face tbe truth ,they are in denial. Only you can get through to their thick skull. Keep doing what you are doing because you are amazing at it. We are rooting for you all the way!
These blogs are well explained, thanks for your efforts Mr Tudor!!!!
Thank you for reading
HG–writing more about narcissism outside of the romantic/familial entanglement is an excellent means of “giving a pass” to spread the work as well. As you know I am (as many are) afraid to divulge a situation which compels questions about personal matters. Basically I can’t afford to go on FB and post things that implicate my former spouse for legal reasons, I also need to maintain somewhat a professional public deportment due to my work, having children, family. Being a normal human basically. Information illustrating narcissism in regard to MM is a great way to appear to be sharing from the platform of, “Oh here is an interesting piece.” Also, it is less compromising than me posting a piece on Trump because I don’t want to necessarily be “political” (here in the states) on FB. It was a very innocuous thing for me to do upon consideration. As you know some close to me are aware of the real reason for the interest in your work–but I have to be cautious. I do not believe that I will always have to be cautious but that is another matter.
So declares a person who apparently uses spray tan, a hair extension and wears unsuitable clothing. – oh greater shade has not been thrown.
I am a black woman from the US. I have never experienced MM well … even through photos. There was something about her eyes and even her devious smile.
I was introduced to you via Twitter yesterday and I glad I have been. I dated a narc about five years ago and this gave me such helpful insight.
Welcome AS, I am pleased the work has provided you with insight. Do keep reading.
It’s refreshing you came over here from Twitter Apricot. Welcome! You’ll like it here.
Does MM really use spray tan? I’ve never had one because I’m afraid of being orange.
Waity Katy Middleton also spray tans, uses extensions in her hair, and has been known to dress inappropriately in her royal position according to the standards of her British culture. How soon does the media expect me to forget all of this, as the media are the very vehicles that have bombarded me with this info for years and years, about Ms. Middleton. Oh, and how many photos will they post of her skirts flying above her waist and her panties showing in her various visitations, all over the world. And now they paint Kate as a Saint, with Meghan`s arrival. lol. I am sure Kate is enjoying sainthood. I surely would enjoy it. My memory is a bit stronger than they imagine. Anyway, most spray tans stink, Lorelei. Literally. But, maybe at their level they have found some that do not stink. That do not smell bad.
She has hair extensions too? I am fortunate not to need them and I’m not doing a spray tan unless it is magical and fabulous.
Apricot, you are not alone. WoC on Lipstick Alley’s Unpopular Opinions have been calling MM on her pretensions for a while, but her Woker-than-thou defenders didn’t want to hear it. In addition, Shameka Blake is a British WoC who was outraged at the assumption that British culture in general is racist and intolerant.
Hello Apricot Showers,
Welcome! It was interesting to read that you had seen something in her eyes and smile. I am starting to pay more attention to it. I find it easier to recognize narcissism in men than in women.
You will find more articles about narcissists on this blog: Prince Andrew, Boris Johnson, Trump, Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey and other ‘celebrities’.
007 will take that b*** down.
She will take herself down. And she will never know why.
Accurate
Her grandiose schemes are hardly likely to end any time soon. As a narc she will spend the rest of her life scheming to get her son Archie named heir apparent to the King of England instead of Prince George. The way she will affect this is to, along with Harry, launch a woke anti-royal/Republican campaign attacking the white privilege of the royal blood line and start pushing non-whites allied with woke-whites in Britain to scrap the royal family. But lo and behold, around 2040, once a Republican majority is achieved, a compromise will be proposed where non-whites and woke-whites MP’s will agree to drop their woke Republicanism and instead change the line of succession to Meghan’s issue, Prince Archie, and in the doing launch the House of Sussex. Diversity wins and a Prince of Colour will take the crown with Meghan as Queen mother.
Alain
Re: Meaghan as Queen Mother.
This is a case for not doing “shrooms” before bed.
I can believe she would believe it to be possible. She probably watched Dynasty as a child and thinks she’s Joan Collins.
Alain and NarcAngel,
Hahahahaha Thank you both for the laughs!
Alain, I think you win the prize for the most epicly imaginative comment about H&M “stepping back” from their royal duties.
NA, I think ‘shrooms’ are the most plausible reason for Alain’s flight of fancy. Witty and hilarious, as per usual!
I wouldn’t put any of that past her. As Alain noted, she is grandiose enough to try it.
Violetta,
Seeing what she has already “accomplished”, I agree. She is grandiose enough to think she can ‘control’ the monarchy.
I’ve taken a beating on Twitter. People are mean AF. They say people shouldn’t judge MM without knowing her, but one of them actually called me insane and all kinds of other nasty comments. Pot calling the kettle black you think? My feelings are beyond hurt. HG, I want to share your work, but I can’t take the pain. I’m sorry. I’ll spread the gospel in my own life, but fuck the haters.
Ignore them. They are misguided idiots and doubtless a few narcissists thrown in for good measure. I have had some nonsense thrown my way, it amuses me. The majority praise the article.
Thank you HG. I wish I could let it roll off me that way. Why do I have to put so much stock in what others think of me? Especially people I don’t know and obviously don’t know me. My face is burning and I feel punched in the gut when I think of the things they have said as my shame is activated by their comments. I guess my skin is just too thin for social media.
MB,
Social media is a beast but it doesn’t really have any teeth. As HG says, do your best to ignore the haters. They are either ignorant or they’re attention-seekers. You have nothing to be ashamed about. Your intention is well-meaning and it isn’t to deliberately harm or hate anyone. It is to put forward information that is explained logically and is intellectually sound.
Don’t beat yourself up about it MB. That’s social media for you. The keyboard warriors are harmless if you think of them as trolls sitting in their parent’s basement. There are many more silent readers who are there gaining knowledge and/or looking at the general attitudes of others than to troll or be idiots.
Well stated. Always remember the silent majority, their silence is agreement with you. On my blog there are many excellent commenters but they represent 1% of the number of readers who come here (I see the stats) and what you write will be seen and accepted by many more people than those who lash out at you, MB.Also, human beings are programmed to recognised and respond more to bad things because for survival it is more important to avoid bad than seek good and thus this is part of the reason why MB you feel hurt by their behaviour.
HG, Interesting point about survival and responding to bad things more than to good things. I never thought about it that way but it also perhaps explains how those of us who have gone through very high stress with Ns might be defensive in other areas of our lives too. Also, always being in fight or flight mode (responding to bad things, perceived or real), might keep our ET high.
Indeed.
Thank you WN. It’s true. I would never share things that are hateful. I truly have no feelings about MM either way. Sharing the article is to get the information out there so that people can recognize narcissism around them. I consider HG’s analysis as educational. To me, it’s akin to sharing a picture of a lesion alongside analysis by an expert explaining this is what melanoma looks like, so that people can recognize it in their own lives and act accordingly before it’s too late.
Exactly MB. Your motive is not to harm or blame but to inform and educate. If other people can’t or don’t see it that way and need to retaliate by being rude or bullying, that’s on them and not you.
If anything, take it as a positive in that although you find it personally hurtful – and all of us would to some extent – it’s also a good way to be conscious of your own boundaries. If you take their comments and rudeness personally and they affect you strongly, it may show that you need to strengthen the boundary you have (in your own mind) regarding how much you take other people’s opinions to heart.
I understand you, because I take things to heart too sometimes, and it happens automatically and it’s something you can’t just stop doing. However, if you become more and more conscious of it, you can start to think about it more cognitively, and then your cognitive thoughts will hopefully strengthen your emotional resistance to taking those kinds of things to heart.
Oh, I was wondering what you meant by “punching bag” on Twitter, MB.
I am sorry that has happened as a result of you sharing.
I would share but I’ve abandoned all my old social media accounts due to my entanglement.
HG – if I were to rejuvenate my social media feeds – which aren’t personal but “business” related – and my narc saw would the posts be hoover triggers? They have been inactive for around 2 years…
Yes they are Hoover Triggers, although this does not mean that a hoover will necessarily follow, since the HEC may not be achieved.
Thank-you HG for your answer. Just saw it now..
MB: Post on news sites: yahooNews, Google, CNN, etc. I’m getting upvotes & some come back to comment how the article nailed it, even if they were frankly creeped out by the context.
Since, as HG noted, many won’t let us post URLs, I’ve been giving article titles and Narcsite/ or HG Tudor.
Here’s one post I made, when someone said she had BPD:
No, she is a narcissist. See HG Tudor’s Narcsite. “Dropping the Narc Bomb” explains why she always pulls this stuff on Christmas, other people’s weddings, Trooping the Colors, or somebody’s birthday.
The “A Very Royal Narcissist” series addresses the British Royal Family in detail.
One person replied:
just went to the Narcsite. What an eye opener. You are spot on!
Even if I didn’t owe HG for clarifying events that have haunted me for years, I’d want people to know that MM’s manipulations and crassness have nothing to do with being either American or an actress. I want them to know what they’re dealing with. NOTHING she does makes sense without it: she had a cushy position; all she had to do was wear some tailored suits, shake hands, and ask people how far they had traveled or how long they’d been growing gladiolus. She shot herself and possibly the entire monarchy in the porthole and may end up hawking Weight Watchers or Charles Schwab before she’s through, instead of the glamour brands she expects to line up for her.
Well stated Violetta.
Violetta, I received more likes and positive comments (and hopefully Narcsite traffic) than what I did negative ones. I’m back on track today. Troll shield activated! 🚯
“You can’t win, Trolls. If you strike us down, we will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.”
Dear MB: Remember, what you post is also read by people that do not comment. So it is not worth it to wrestle all the time with the vocal people (unless you are in the mood to do so.) People will see your post and investigate for themselves, whether or not they inform people on twitter, etc, and say so. Just post and BOUNCE. For example, I found HG Tudor because people were posting about him. I never posted that I am going to look up HG Tudor, at any time on any other site, after reading their comments regarding him. I just did it. I just looked him up for myself, because I kept running into his name. True story.
Thank you for that PSE. Name recognition goes a long way. If he keeps coming up in posts, they will look him up. I have to believe Narcsite traffic is up due to these articles. I had an exchange with only one person. Everybody else, I left alone. In the words of my second favorite narcissist, Taylor Swift, “Haters gonna hate, hate, hate”
MB ☹️. Poor you. There are some very odd people in the world. You are NOT one of them.
Thank you for saying so Intrepid. That is sweet of you. 😊
I just shared on FB. I said I stumbled onto a good article. (Sorry HG—I have to be careful)
MB—I set up Twitter years ago but don’t use it. I only used FB for years till IG last year which I like better because it’s more intimate in number. My FB has a lot of people I don’t even remember!
Thank you for doing so
MB
WTF?! On HG’s articles on Twitter? I must be missing something because I have seen very few comments (a few referrals by you to the articles but no responses). I must be doing something wrong or looking in the wrong place?
NA—I’ll be interested to see replies on FB.
NA, I shared it in the comments section of every post I could find by big news outlets and royal reporters and such and hash tagged the crap out of them too! Let’s just say it takes only a couple of mins to compose a tweet and post a link and I posted solid all over Twitter for about 40 minutes this morning. I want to be a crusader for HGs work and see him go mainstream. There were more likes and positive comments than there were negative, so I’ll focus on that. For the most part, people insinuate I’ve drank HGs Koolaid and that the recovery community is littered with psychopaths that only want to take advantage of empaths and gain supply and lumping HG in that group. One lady posted a screenshot from the Narcsite “about” section showing that HG is a narcissistic psychopath. (Like I was going to be shocked.) People say Meghan hasn’t been diagnosed by a psychologist and that HGs work is junk although they haven’t even bothered to read it. On and on they go. I’m going to stop looking before I actually do go insane 😂
Hg Crusader – hell yeah
I told y’all they are haters. Sounds like censorship to me. Keep us abreast, HG. But first, wine!
I can’t see the Royal article on your FB page. Though amusingly there is always this one woman who rages against you in the comments. YOUR KIND MAKES ME SICK. I HOPE YOU ALL DIE AND ROT INTO ETERNAL OBLIVION. MY LIFE IS SO GREAT I DON’T NEED YOU IN IT. REALLY I DON’T..’ etc.
Then she linked to a YT vid with one of the charlatan frauds who I find to be an idiot.
O Irony.
Oh these articles invariably bring out the nutjobs.
“HG is a narcissistic psychopath”
?!! You don’t say….
Dearest MB,
“They say people shouldn’t judge MM without knowing her”
Answer….. “Therein lies the problem …… you never really get to “know” a narcissist, they won’t let you, ya Wally” !!!! 🤣
I know exactly how you feel, my sweet….. I commented on something once …..oh boy, out they came !!! I just deleted my comment (it was actually positive)
I then turn it around and say to myself….. “they clearly have issues”
It’s a very narcissistic world out there and this is why I read comments and then look at one’s profile ….. the dots then connect and Mr Tudor’s social profile analysis is always right !
Our daughter, who has some very “healthy” narcissistic traits, is appalled at Megs and can clearly see her for what she is
You’re going to have the lovers n haters, no matter what area, I find sitting back, just watching n listening, is more entertaining and you learn more
Please don’t beat yourself up precious MB, however, I do understand your passion on wanting to pass on Mr Tudor’s knowledge !
Sending hugs MB
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Thank you Bubbles! I am passionate about HGs work. I want everybody in whole world to avail themselves of it. Although I must admit, I’m a bit selfish and don’t want to lose him as our own!
Dearest MB,
You are on Mr Tudor’s blog … therefore, that makes you a winner sweet pea ! You haven’t lost him or ever will!
Doing ok…everyone is fundraising, it’s going to take years !
Thank you for asking lovely one
🐨
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Thank you for sharing the link to the Zoo Bubbles. I made a donation straight away. Animals and children are so innocent and need our advocacy.
MB
That wont happen. All of us, despite some pretty small infractions, know of each other, and each other’s stories I’ve been here since Nov 17 and began posting in the Jan. I dont know each others dates of arrival. It doesnt matter when though as I percieve a tight knit group as formed such as K, Madame Bubbles, PSE, NA, Bibi, Lorelei, SP, Violetta, Chi-Mum, Gabby, of course you MB, Whocares!, NotMe!, Kim-e, njfilly, E.B, Wiser Now, Pati ,ANM, Mercy, FM1T, lisk, Witch , Twilight, blackunicorn123, Getting There, FYC, Whitney, Windstorm, BKK plus moi. So say 30? That’s really quite a strong group.
Apologies if I’ve missed someone! That’s my poor memory! We’ve seen how events have unfolded. We’ve all shared on other sites I’d warrant.
And yes it is tough and we will get attacked. I’ve found it hard in other forums that I frequent. I always know there is a good chance I will get attacked. It’s probably not as often as people think.
When it does happen, it is usually a direct attack on me rather than my words. I know damn well I have lurkers following me. They could be anyone from jealous exes to MRNs who feel a sense of agitation that my calm and clinical words to another may well also apply to them. The Masters of the logical fallacy, the Ad hominem attack. Sometimes they set up strawmen and other times their folded logic betrays their kind.
And lo! My stalking radio presenter has now PMd me on twitter! Havnt yet read. This should be a joy.
Some people just dont know when to stop, do they? I think I’ll send a certain message to a certain Head of Complaints before I even open it. Fool.
I’ll never forget this sites’ kindness. And for everything you have helped me with. Including of course you, HG.
Hugs to you Bubbles. I hope you are doing well.
Yeah I saw that. Too harsh. These people have No insight MB.
You are correct Em, I’ve been spoiled by the eloquent and educated commenters here at Narcsite. It reinforces the quality and the uniqueness of this place.
A good rule of thumb with online is that you will most often hear from every single negative but only a few of those select positive. People love to bitch. They want to call people out for something, anything they can find.
I’ve voiced my opinion often about various people, and I have found that if that person is a woman or a minority or both, then one will be labeled a racist, misogynist, homophobe, etc. without even examining the argument in the first place.
Thank you Bibi. You are absolutely correct. I scrolled through some, what seemed to be innocuous, articles and people say the meanest things for no reason at all. The judging and the opinions seem to be purposely provocative, attention-seeking behavior. Cyber bullying is hurtful. Calling attention to yourself by beating other people up is abhorrent. I guess that’s why they call them trolls.
They don’t want to hear the argument, as they would rather demonize the one offering the criticism (in this case you or HG). It makes them feel morally superior to believe they’re defending the one who they claim is being ‘bullied’. (HG is not bullying MM but offering his opinion based on what he has known and studied, etc.)
Some examples I have endured: I once reviewed a book written by a writer who was deported to a concentration camp and so she was unable to finish the book in a reasonable amount of time and so she rushed the ending.
I noted that the ending and conclusions, etc. did in fact feel rushed and then someone accused me of ‘not being sympathetic to her plight’ as if I was saying she deserved to die. WTF? Do you want me to review and give my thoughts or not? Or should I tailor them to suit your emotional demands?
Most of the time people are just defending sentiments and things they like, social political values and damn it, if they’re all wrapped up into a mediocre artistic execution then they can’t see the mediocrity, only they values and sentiments they agree with. It also gives them an opportunity to preen and feel morally superior. I believe many, many of these types are Mid Rangers–Angels With Dirty Faces.
Very well stated.
Bibi, I have little patience with the close-minded and the self-righteous either. You’re my people! 😊
They defend Markle against what they perceive is an attack and then attack me in earnest. One woman said I was “a horrible person”. Nowhere in that article is there anything even close to that level of hate. I just don’t understand the ignorance.
MB
Most of the haters are just lonely tabloid readers, narcs, and trolls who have no conviction about anything, but who want to infiltrate something for mere recognition. You are intelligent and aware, so of course you don’t understand their ignorance – it’s not to be understood or tolerated. It’s enough to know that they are so you can pity and ignore their cries, but don’t absorb any of their “stupid”. It’s beneath you.
I appreciate your kind words NA. I have an issue whereby I do absorb negative things that are said to me and about me. On a logical and conscious level, I know they are untrue, but my abandoned self still believes the lies and I am reduced to nothing in an instant. I am getting better, but still have a long way to go. I can’t thank HG and the kind people like yourself at Narcsite for the support you have given me. I’ve really learned a great deal about myself and my issues. An unexpected consequence of my Narc ensnarement.
Bibi
Glad to see you back. Great comment and example.
Bibi agreed. You did the right thing.
Thank you, NA. I had some life events to contend with, which came on suddenly. Still coping but it makes me take action so I de-cluttered part of my house and that helps. I have been more inward as of late so not chatting too much anywhere online save for my own outlets.
This inability to examine an argument without moral superiority/accusation from another has been a real problem in this culture. There is a dearth of discourse because of it. Lots of bickering but no real learning. I find I have to withhold my opinions from certain groups b/c I end up spending half the time defending my perspective or informing the others that no, I just because I think A does not mean I believe B.
It happens in other avenues too. I could give so many examples. About a decade ago I commented on a film page my opinions on a certain director. Let’s just use the name Lars Von Trier. I find his films melodramatic with little character devt and very pretentious. Life is suffering, pain, fucking, death, pain, suffering, fucking, death, pain, melancholy, bleakness, death, suffering, pain. You get the idea.
So what happens is that someone will inevitably come around and tell me to ‘Stick to watching your Michael Bay films!’ Because of course, there can be no in between. I find Trier’s films rather silly and trying to ‘shock’ for the sake of shocking but just because I do doesn’t mean that I am running to the theatre to watch the next Fast and Furious installment.
It happens at all avenues, all levels and then I end up having to explain so much more than needed and I tire of wasting energy on the idiots and the ignorant. And if anyone enjoys Trier, why should my opinion bother you? It’s just my opinion. I’m not apologizing for it.
Bibi
The art of conversation is becoming extinct. More and more the options are: agreement or offence. Not to mention most exchanges are captured in pics and emojis. I hope the life events have calmed with de-clutter being an unexpected bonus.
Thank you Renarde, NA, MB and others.
I agree about the lack of discussion. Everyone wants to be offended by something. The good news for me is that over Christmas I adopted 2 new kittens, so it has been refreshing having little balls of energy zip through the house. They are both so cute. 2 girl kitties.
I had a funny memory pop into my mind yesterday. I remembered this saying that one of my early narc bf’s once said. He was so fucking lazy. This is the guy from the mid ’90s I mentioned who left me sitting outside waiting for him while he never showed up because he lost track of time b/c he ‘wasn’t near any clocks.’
“When opportunity knocks, don’t get up and answer the door. Let it come in for itself.”
He spoke these words with great profundity. So I remembered this and messaged that line to my Super Empath pal wherein he responded, ‘That sounds stupid.’
I burst out laughing. So it feels nice to be laughing again. I do wonder what is dumber. That line or the one about not showing up b/c he ‘wasn’t near any clocks.’
It is very easy to get banned on social media. People just report whoever they want to and if there are enough reports or an argument moderators like, they can reprimand or ban the source. I had a social media account once suspended because I was calling out my narc therapist on his grandiose, inaccurate and sloppy BS, not even behind his back but in direct comments to him. Wasn’t even aggressive or using inappropriate language, just listed facts and made rational arguments. That was one way I learned it is useless to argue with narcs. He was not a politician or a member of an influential family, just an average Joe, and still had that power somehow. Also to get almost every negative online reviews removed – I don’t even know how he could do that, must have twisted things really well. Then he referred to me as a troll later. I was his client and paid him for almost a year. Could have easily reported him to his professional association for misconduct for all the things he said to me, but figured it was not worth my energy and mental peace. He also had so low self-awareness, saw me as the bully and troll.
It’s a simple solution. Don’t read the comments xxx sorry you feel hurt by then MB
AS2016, I am GOSOing the comments sections. Falling on deaf ears now!
Dearest MB
I damn well know the hurt and pain that being attacked causes. And being called a narc to boot. Indeed, today I’ve been back and forth on twitter myself today sharing AVRN and would you believe it, I’ve been trolled on there by a sock of a probable presenter. Calling me a narc. Why? Because I reported his sorry ass. He nearly got reported to Ofcom. In fact I still might.
It doesnt hurt that hes trolled me, it’s what he said on air. Especially after the year I’ve had. And because hes a slimy sex starved creep who was only interested in what I had to say on that subject but the minute I talked about NPD, he shut up like a clam and at times became aggressive. I’ve invited him over here for intellectual discourse.
You’re not alone lovely.
Please dont be upset.
Testing to see if I can post HG .. WordPress problems.
…….Sorry again HG please ignore . I’m trying to post a comment . Testing again .
No room for 2 princesses in UK. She couldn’t do anything about Kate, so she had to leave. She will be the only princess in the United States. All she ever wanted.
Brilliant article btw as always H.G I absolutely love your point of you, and your way of thinking.
Smart you!
The Great Royal Escape drama has it all. Royalty, star crossed lovers, tragic past, burden of heritage and duty, Netflix series, evil press, cute baby and constitutional monarchy admin. I kinda get Queen on this. The admin. The admin will always get you in the end. That’s how it’s going to be from now on:
Queen: Who’s visiting the Hedgehog Sanctuary in Wolverhampton tomorrow?
William: I thought Harry was going to that?
Prince Charles: He’s buggered off to Canada, remember?
William: Fine, I’ll go. Like bloody always.
Queen: What about that Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital fete in the afternoon?
William: Can’t Andrew go? It’s not like he’s busy, FFS!
Prince Charles: He’s a massive peado remember? Andrew in a children’s hospital? Imagine the headlines!
William: True dat. Kate, can you go?
Kate: I had to pick up the patronage of like 20 charities from Meghan. I’m doing school drop off and having my roots done tomorrow afternoon and I am NOT moving that again.
Queen: Oh for God’s sake. I’ll go. James, tell my private secretary to move my chiropodist appointment to the morning.
Just a little bit of humour 🙂
Amused me.
Should I share this article on FB? I think I safely can HG. It doesn’t appear I’m love sick but rather informative haha.
And you did, well done
Yes—you are like a dirty little secret. Sorry! I can’t take you places etc because you are embarrassing! You may say the wrong things etc.
Nonsense.
Omg I hate you. Here I am working and you, as usual, are getting drunk as a skunk!
“As usual”?
Evidence of me getting drunk regularly? Evidence that I was drunk last night?
Come now, last night was my first drink since New Year´s Day.
Glad you weren’t inebriated but I’m feeling due for such an event. Catching up. Is narcissus or whatever his name is implying his next feat is to have you kicked off FB? I got a 24 hour ban for saying “white trash” in a FB support group once. I got kicked out of the divorce group! I’m sure you can imagine my bitching and griping and insertion of such a comment. You hear it here.
Lorelei:
“Is narcissus or whatever his name is implying his next feat is to have you kicked off FB?”
His next feat ought to be learning proper grammar and punctuation. Learning how to spell his own goddam web handle would indicate some progress too.
Hysterical, Klaudia! That was great! Can we have more?
Klaudia, that made me laugh, I love it.
They’ll voluntell Anne. She’s the workhorse.
Klaudia, that was funny! I can totally imagine them talking like that while sitting back watching the telly and rolling their eyes over Meghan’s latest move.
“She is Triangulating Prince Harry. By leaving Archie in Canada, Miss Markle triangulates him with his father so that there is a clear basis for ensuring that Prince Harry returns to Canada also so that Miss Markle´s control over Prince Harry remains intact.”
I immediately grasped a lot of her behavior. The bomb dropping, entitlement, haughtiness, control, etc. But I hadn’t realized what you outline above. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Wow.
Welcome to the best material on the subject, SaraZ.
New Instagram post up with multiple photos of them doing charity work. You can’t make this stuff up. Back to primping in her social media mirror. Harry’s dealing with cleanup in aisle seven while she’s stretched out like a cat in the sun.
Indeed.
…and these are very bad quality photos, might I mention. Guess some MeAgain’s minion snapped those on a smartphone since they can’t use the royal photographer anymore.
I would not at all be surprised going forward that Harry is going to increasingly experience the silent treatment and the feeling of “walking on eggshells” (albeit only in private settings). On the surface, facade management will be fully deployed by MM. Tough times ahead for Harry unfortunately,
Correct.
The scene I want to see in this movie Queen Elizabeth cornering Megan in the palace and privately tearing her about seven new assholes. Next scene, Meghan is working behind the Bobbi Brown counter at some stupid London department store.
He’s already walking on eggshells. Poor guy. They’re talking about how stupid he is on DM, but they don’t realize how charming narcs can be–at first.
And she did her homework. She became Diana, as much as her hollow little heart would allow, and has been filling his head with conspiracy theories of how the BRF not only made Diana miserable (true, and vice versa), but that they also arranged her supposedly accidental death (possible, but I think unlikely). You can bet MM has presented this last as a fact.
She is starting to remind me of the Green Witch in The Silver Chair. She has Harry so brainwashed, she’s got him making war on his own kingdom.
I can’t wait til she gets caught cheating. Cuz the only alternative is she gets all ner narc ducks in a row and accuses Harry of something untrue and unthinkable to divorce him for and smears him like crazy. I find her quite hideous. I wish there was some way to get these columns to him. HG, with all the people you know there, can’t you get a copy of this into his mailbox somehow?
-Peaceful
ps: I’ve returned to the favor of my work narc. So I will remain grey rock and maintain my distance. If things get bad again, I will def consult. Many thanks.
You have once again done a great job HG, in detailing the narc’s way of thinking. Thank you!
I only hope someone realizes what a scam she is and the tables are turned. I will be popping the popcorn, watching and cheering!
For me of course, the most deplorable thing she is doing is how she plays to his childhood wounds.
Bravo again sir!
Thank you
Also HG… Are you ever Concerned that you’ll get in “trouble” for this analysis? Targeting such a high profile institution? We will protect you 😀
No.
We just want an excuse to wear our black leather jackets and Tudorista t-shirts, swaggering towards the threat snapping our fingersWest Side Story-style.
When you’re with HG,
It’s the place to be
From your first GOSO
To your last NC
You’re never alone,
You won’t fall for the Hoover. (snap snap snap snap)
By email or phone
You’ll block those crap maneuvres
Those dirty losers!
Bravo HG! I couldn’t believe I saw this in my email this morning. You’ve been working hard -you deserve a break.
Is it true the wax museum has removed their Statues? They’re melting them to help keep the people of Wales warm this winter? 😬
I think MM will become bored in Canada. Hockey and beer… Cold winter. Do you think she’ll try and become chums with Trudeau? I don’t think it will have enough drama for her. She’ll start inviting some of her old friends to visit…The modern day Wallis.
I think a discard maybe Is more likely than a divorce?
Thank you Kathleen, I am looking forward to tonight’s dinner party.
I do not know if it is true about the removal of the statues.
Yes, she will try to become chums with Trudeau.
Dinner Party?
Yes, you invite people and they come around to eat food with you.
People eat food with you? Chew with your mouth closed pleased.
Ridiculous!
Why does half of my gmail go to promotions and half to the inbox? Narcsite included..
I have a similar issue. People email me with enquiries and they end up in a different tab. Compartmentalisation can be a bitch.
You’ll be together when it goes in but hopefully alone when it comes out. Because that would be weird.
Candlelight suppers on her Royal Doulton with the hand-painted periwinkles?
Oh I loved that show! And came to think Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquetttt!) was such a funny narc because of the writing. One could laugh, but then again, in real life she’d have been a real terror.
Caity:
It was funny because there was always justice in the end. She’d criticize poor Richard’s driving, have Elizabeth rattling china with fear, and “sing” Elizabeth’s brother into hiding, but by the end of the episode either her slutty sister Rose would embarrass her in front of the vicar and his wife or Mrs. Councillor Nugent would be downing pints with the cheerfully prole Onslow and Daisy an ignoring piss-elegant Hyacinth.
The “break” that HG deserves…
HG, Thank you for stating that MM was the victim of racist bullying. I see in people’s comments on various news sites that they tend to take one side or the other – she is either a victim or she is a narcissist. You have stated very clearly that both things can be true. I wonder if off this site Americans see it one way – that she is a victim – whereas Brits see it another way – that she is a narc.
She has detractors and supporters on both sides of the Atlantic.
Enjoying these articles!
I hadnt thought about the fact meghan leaving archie in canada was a tactic to ensure harry goes back. Also the fact mentioned by a commenter that she would need his permission to travel back to canada with archie but regardless she would need to return with him if harry decided to stay in the UK.
I do think shes using Canada in her triangulation with the UK public and also the US seeing her beloved family lives there.
In relation to kate instantly there was narc envy and jealousy over her upcoming role in the royal family and also her fashion sense as well as her being a seasoned royal wife. Instead of embracing a new sister in law she jumped right into wanting to outdo and overshadow her. I also suspect kate was onto her being a narc from day 1 and when a narc knows you see behind their mask they paint you jet black and try to destroy you and you are their archenemy. Also kate had been the glue between will and harry. Kate had grown quite close to harry and a voice of reason and that definitely had to be broken as itd be a threat to meghans brainwashing control over him.
I find it disgusting she caused a shitshow with his family by not having the decency to discuss it in private and then takes off to leave him to clean up the aftermath. That in itself in the early stages of marriage shows shes not in it for better or worse. Hes on his own when it comes to the struggles that will come up. She wont stand beside him as a spouse should at a time in need.
I cant imagine the incredible pressure harry is going thru and being in the middle of a tug o war.
“I do think shes using Canada in her triangulation with the UK public and also the US seeing her beloved family lives there”–’cause we want them so bad? Um, no.
Look at U.S. commenters on DM. The “no backsies!” comments far outnumber the Poor Widdle Megsie ones. OTOH, those are self-selected people with an interest in Britain; yahoo and Google are far more sympathetic.
Hi violetta…i was being sarcastic about her beloved family 😄
I didn’t realize what an emotive/provocative topic this is and how upset people get at the mention of NPD. It’s not name calling. It’s a logical conclusion based on evidence. Our President suffers the same disorder, but people don’t seem to get as upset at the mention of NPD as it relates to him. It’s just a given and people move on. It may take a great deal of time for people to accept that a woman can have the affliction too.
MB,
I think there’s a lot of emotional thinking going on out there. People in general have a lot of different views based on their own experiences or prejudices. There’s fear and insecurity mixed in as well. I think we here on narcsite who have been reading about ET and LT for a while have a better grasp of the subject. It takes time for the knowledge to sink in and take hold.
Indeed. A comparison of responses across Twitter and FB compared to the blog shows far more knee jerk and Hard of Understtanders away from the blog
WN, I agree with your observations. People are emotional about other issues surrounding MM which makes them unable to see the logic as it relates to evidence of her narcissism.
The racism factor is such a huge part of the debate as well. HG’s blog is the only place I feel safe giving my real opinion of her. Anyone who doesn’t like her is automatically labeled as a racist. To say that a person of color cannot be morally bad or narcissistic is a total logical fallacy, but again, emotional thinking.
Correct.
Yes Michelle. Very true. I’ve also found that if I talk about Trump’s narcissism, then I must be against him and all of his policy as well. (They make it a political debate with him, not a racist one.) When people are suffering from emotional thinking, they cannot carve the narcissism out as an issue separate from other facets of the person examined.
Thanks MB. Yes, I think there will always be a variety of opinions flying around about subjects like the H&M bombshell. So, although some people are aggressive and rude, please don’t let the irrational feedback change your overall perspective or feelings about yourself. Observe but don’t absorb. The more the subject of narcissism is circulated, the better understood it will be in general.
Many people fall victim to the fallacy that people who are good looking are also kind. We make that leap without even realizing it. I follow several sites on the Royal Family and there are a fair amount of people who assume that all of them must be super kind people, except of course Charles, who is sheer evil for what he “did” to Diana. Diana must be a kind and wonderful person, too, because she was so young and beautiful. We identify ourselves with beautiful people.
I agree with you for the most part.
Except I don’t find Diana to be exceptionally beautiful, what made her stand out was her magnetic energy. She definitely had a strong magnet cadre. She was also very genuine and relatable in interviews.
Meghan comes across as very robotic compared to Diana. I’ve seen several comments outside of this blog stating that Meghan comes across as fake.
Diana appeared to be more rebellious than I believe she would have been if she wasn’t married to a narc. Overall she was a kind and genuine person.
Yes, because beauty is usually a pleasant experience. But there is still enough of the opposite as well: the old-fashioned assumptions that people who are good-looking, who enjoy beauty and care about their appearance, are shallow, self-centered and perhaps narcissistic. These stereotypes should really be gone from our era because there isn’t even any decent correlation (either way), let alone causation. Body modification and looking good is also easily accessible to a very large and varied portion of society these days, it is far from what mother nature has given us. Normal beauty, even using technology, is very different from when someone is obsessed with appearance and does excessive, unhealthy things to achieve or maintain an image. But the assumptions about these links persist because people just like to judge based on what they can easily see. It is a very lazy perception and interpretation, in my opinion.
Dorion: So. true. I grew up in a very small town and the very good looking people were considered untrustworthy and overly carnal, by most townspeople. And most would move away for better opportunities all around. Men were very suspicious of the really beautiful women and would say they did not want the trouble that would come with such a woman. Women would say that they did not want the trouble that would come with such a man. I use to wonder about it. And then as an adult, I would compensate and befriend the beautiful women that most women avoided. And I would still avoid the very good looking men, though, just because of my upbringing. My last boyfriend was super good looking. I gave in. lol. It did not work out for reasons that had nothing to do with his looks though. We all have to be wary of stereotypes at times.
PSE,
Yes, those discriminations often happen especially in communities of young people. I personally don’t and never looked at beauty and grooming as anything superficial – again, unless it is an excessive preoccupation and takes one’s attention away from other values and from developing other qualities.
Aesthetics is something I’ve personally always been interested in, in many ways, partly as an abstract idea and also the question of why we are drawn to beauty (what the brain recognizes and associates with it), what is it actually. Won’t get into this here much because it’s not the topic of this thread, will just mention that anyone who enjoys order, harmony, art, even perfection, will likely be drawn to aesthetics because we recognize the same kinds of constructs and structures in these things and find them pleasant (unless someone is afraid of it due to early life experiences and other discriminations). It is normal part of how the human brain works. Even logic – many mathematicians and philosophers have discussed the similarities between what we see as visual beauty and beautiful constructs of thought and solutions. I know, for sure, that I am drawn to all these things in the same way.
Of course there are also the sexually appealing elements in a beautiful body or interesting style, and the aspects of human competition related to it. I don’t see anything superficial in that either – it has served survival for thousands of years.
Going back to MM, I personally don’t see her as particularly beautiful, striking or unique in any way, more just a generic good-looking woman who is using what’s available to her in cosmetics, fashion etc, like many women of her generation. That, on its own, does not make one a narcissist in my opinion… but I don’t know if there is an element of obsession and excess (and insecurity), which certainly can be part of that construct.
Yes, I agree Michelle. It’s their beauty, their youth, their glamorous and/or pompous lifestyles, their polished and well-mannered appearances and also the respect they get from others. It all affects their image to the public.
All that means it’s more difficult for the casual observer to see past the ‘facade’ if they are narcissists.
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
Intresting comments by readers on news platforms.
I’ve been watching them for months and I am seeing an increase in people using Narcassitic as descriptor. And even NPD on occasion (Yeh!)
Today an intresting article on PHs mental state. Unresolved trauma from mothers death. Of course there is! Some, but not many talk about what trauma MM is inflicting (boo!).
Instead he has been called weak and cowardly. I dont know about you but takes guts to go into the forces and of course that was humiliating as he had to be protected. The funeral. It just seems to me he hasn’t got a handle yet on this probable PTSD.
What’s even more illustrating is a blanket lack of awareness of trauma and disassociate states. That worries me.
Another disturbing point others make is with access to all that money, how has it not been spotted? Or maybe it has but the treatment is ineffective?
Either way, worrying.
I find it interesting that people who know little of NPD and narc abuse think people who find themselves as victims must be weak or stupid. Infact very often they are strong intelligent people who the narc has particular enjoyment and gains fuel from breaking.
I think it is because he is a man why people’s views are different.
I’ve seen a comment that said “why are people acting like Harry is a damsel in distress and isn’t making his own decisions?”
Insinuating that a man can not be manipulated/controlled by a woman and we are “femininising” Harry by suspecting that is the case.
And others calling him “weak minded.”
Witch,
I can see the point you’re making about people thinking that a man “should” make his own decisions and not allow a woman to dominate him.
Then again, when a woman stays in an abusive relationship, there is a general attitude of, “she must be weak or stupid to allow herself to be abused”. So, I don’t think that men get labelled as “weak or stupid” any more or less than women.
I think there is a general attitude in the public of failing to really understand how a victim gets ensnared and how emotional thinking works. People see the surface of things and the narc’s facade and they don’t see how the victim’s needs plus the narc’s needs work together as a whole.
BC
Revictiminising the survivour.
That’s got change change. It’s so cruel.
We can’t blame the vast amounts of money entirely I mean where were the experts when poor Andrew developed the inability to sweat and then the ability to sweat?
Alexis
Love you! Classic comment. Classic!
I salute you, Ma’am!
These articles about MM’s behaviours are absolutely brilliant, HG!
I am glad that this is the opportunity to expose female MRNs. These type of female narcissists are the least obvious ones.
This case is triggering old memories of mine. I used to have a good relationship with one of my siblings until a MRN came into his life and turned him against me.
I feel for William. He and his brother used to be close.
Thank you EB.
Once again great article once i see a very anything i damn near find a stopping point to see you break down one of your brethren. Yes she is a narc and she keeps proving it by her actions. Do you think harry will wake up hg? Or how would one like harry find this type of information?
I do not believe he will wake up until it is too late.
How does he find it? Someone in the know gets it in front of him and when his ET reduces, he acts on it. As many of you will realise/have experienced when you are in the grip of ensnarement and thus your ET is high, you failed to act on the advice (assuming someone gave you the right advice or near right advice) as to what was happening. You ignored it, dismissed, did not see it as relevant, thought the person had their own agenda, distinguished it, thought you knew better (insert relevant manifestation of ET).
Totally.
Love the analysis. Thanks for the breakdown of ET reactions. I’ve done everyone of them more than once. So destructive. I screen grabbed the statement and saved it in my photos. In a moment of weakness, I can bring it up quickly.
Guilty as charged.
Also re: “too late.”
What is too late? Suicide?
Ensnarement and tipping point re ET.
HG—I hesitated to place this comment here because it involves a financial reality but decided it was ok to demonstrate how powerful ET is in regard to “leaving.”
Obviously Harry is ok financially but ET creates different reasons. It’s sneaky. When my first ex-husband died five years ago I was briefly with the knowledge that I may inherit an account’s value. It was a cozy six figure sum. I was convinced it would not be enough to leave. Convinced. Guess what? It did indeed go to my oldest daughter which was great—but when the current mister left I never got a dime and guess who was just fine. Because I was always going to be ok. My ET had me convinced, almost paralyzed to stay. I have a reasonable earning capacity because I am diversified. I’m educated. I was truly delusional and I got very very sick. He may have to get really miserable to get the message. It’s like an addict hitting bottom in a way.
Oh Dear !! Where will it all end, I wonder? I’m hoping a divorce , but this may have to be instigated by her, do you think she will do this at some point HG? At the point that she thinks she no longer needs him as her global power is in place (magical thinking) ?
Unless there is a serious intervention on behalf of Prince Harry, I see divorce as more likely than him escaping.
Can you intervene then.please. Sooner rather than later. Imagine the publicity you’d get for your website then. I don’t want Harry to suffer.
Alexis
I totally understand your sentiment but HG cannot and more importantly should not.
PH must come to him. Of course PH will have been told what she is. But until he comes to HG, his ET must be so unbelievably high, it will be utterly rejected and moreover might reject the work forever. It would backfire on HG and the site. And ultimately of course on PH.
He doesnt know yet, deep down I think. His world is imploding on a monumental scale. There is a lot of sense actually in removing yourself and going into isolation. Remove yourself from the trauma. But because hes with a narc that can never happen. It’s a perfectly circular argument. He probably wouldnt need to escape if he wasnt with a narc and of course the narc will never let him escape until disengagement.
Renarde,
Good points. Although, I wonder if he has been told…if he has, he won’t be able to accept it – I think (like HG touched on) she is playing on his sensitivity to the fact that his mother suffered under the glare of the media spotlight. So, there are kernels of truth that spun a certain way will feed into his empathy and will ‘make sense’ – for now. It IS stressful to join the circle of Royals, it IS stressful to scrutinized by the media, motherhood CAN be stressful…he will keep attributing her poor behaviour to something of this sort until he comes to some realization that there IS always a source of stress no matter what they choose or where they go – because SHE is the source of stress.
I think, if they move somewhere that isolates (Canada/Africa) them
further then that will serve to cause the devaluation to be exacerbated and potentially sped up – that would be a blessing in disguise.
WhoCares
Now, that’s a very good point. It may be a race to the bottom though with PH longterm mental health at stake.
Renarde:
“HG cannot and more importantly should not…. PH must come to him.”
I didn’t see it that way. I said on DM that if they couldn’t get Harry to read HG, they should tie him up and sit on him and make him listen to the recordings.
I don’t think intervention is possible with this narc knowledge. I think it’s a long path of discovery , information and realisation . Something real bad has to happen.
She might cheat, that could be a deal breaker.
Hopefully she’ll divorce him, which I do think is possible somewhere down the line.
His first reaction, when she dumps him, will be to blame his family or the entire UK for driving her away.
I haven’t ever had much reason for an interest in the Royal Family, but I am enjoying this series, HG.
I never expected it to cause me this much reflection on the narcissists in my own life…when my own narc painted Canada white…when (apparently) I was a very young child, my mother allowed her family members to take me far away to visit with them, and then soon after my parents moved to the city of my maternal relatives – I can’t help but wonder now if that decision was a bid to excercise control and force my father to leave his town, family and support system behind. Because it never made sense to me before – sending a child, essentially in the care of strangers – ahead of time?
And how, looking back, does one explain the course of events that leads a person possessing intelligence, an education, initative, a caring heart and a bright future down a path towards a cognitive and emotional mess of a person who can barely find their way out a paper bag?
This is how; we are watching it unfold.
Absolutely.
Accurate Whocares!
Harry, please! GAGOSO—Get Archie, Get Out, Stay Out!
Is that even possible for Harry to do at this point, without your assistance, HG?
No. Only those who use my work GOSO.
Hear hear Lisk, I can hardly stand to watch/read. It makes me feel sick to think about it, but I understand why people are so fascinated
As HG has described in many articles, she will use Archie, custodial visits, settlements, etc. to Hoover Harry or at least get his negative fuel for years to.come.
Any possibility she’s so convinced she’s Diana 2.0 that she’ll arrange for her own car accident, just in the hope her memory will be idolized?
Lisk
Haha, GAGOSO. Excellent.
I agree with you to some degree HG, but I’m still on the shelf at the moment as to whether she is a full blown Narcissist. Why? Because the British media is vile. We witnessed what they did to Harry’s mum and had assumed that lessons had been learnt, but I fear not. After v the wedding, they used her family against her at every opportunity, and dragged up what other negativity that they could. The Suseex’s were dammed if they did and dammed if they didn’t.
The most telling point was during her pregnancy when the media did not let up one iota in their vendetta against her, in fact it escalated. The media’s actions were nothing more than insidious bullying that was unrepentant.
If you’re British you become ‘immune’ to it because you have witnessed it your whole life, but if you’re not, like Meghan, it can become intolerable to deal with.
What I see is a man who’s mother was hounded to death who is now witnessing his own wife enduring similar treatment, and a woman who’s on the receiving end of this vitriol, who now has a baby to protect.
They had six peaceful weeks in Canada and who can blame them for wanting more.
Furthermore, they had no intention of divulging their announcement so early but were forced to by the story already having been leaked.
I don’t disagree with some of your analogy of her but even if she has Narcissism or Narcissistic traits that does not mean she should be a purposeful prime target for the relentless bullying that she is having to endure.
Thank you for your comment Karen.
I agree, as stated in this article near the end, that nobody should be subjected to racism and/or bullying. Remember however, that the response of a non-narcissist to bullying is different to that of a narcissist.
Her behaviour prior to being involved with Prince Harry demonstrated her narcissism (see A Very Royal Narcissist) and that was before the press came along.
Markle is utilising one of Harry´s weaknesses against him, this is not done consciously, but his wariness and distrust of the media is exploited by her narcissism. Someone with emotional empathy would not exploit it in the way that she is doing. As explained in earlier articles (you do not say whether you have read them Karen) there are repeated indicators which confirm she is a narcissist. Furthermore, I am the expert and my analysis is accurate, if she was not one, I would say so.
Thanks for sharing your observations.
Agree with the analysis. This is a great demonstration of how you suggest one may act re, being bullied vs. a non-narcissist amongst the other variables she brings to the table. And has she really been bullied so terribly? She amplifies the reality for pity. Ignoring much of it would have died down the normal banter but she can’t lose the opportunity to gain a platform. She capitalizes on the normal amount of negativity and creates more of a shit storm.
Thank you and agreed. Also, if you court publicity, expect some manure from time to time but you deal with it.
Yes HG—hilariously you call yourself all the names so it leaves little room for creativity!
She has only returned briefly to Canada to sign the residency papers @ Canada House. It’s all over.
Lilipuddlioan, Papers for Archie? Can she keep him there against Harry’s will? Surely she would not be entitled to full custody if/when it comes to that?
Hello, no the residency papers so that she can start her application to Canada. She has to apply for residency, leave Canada and then re-enter the country again. The papers are signed at the Canadian High Commission in the country of her residence (England)>
Hello! Archie is in Canada because to travel internationally with an infant you need both parent’s permission. It’s child abduction law. I can’t take my children out of Canada to visit England without a signed note from the father (to whom I am happily married). Meghan needs Archie to be in North America. The stakes are high.
If the relationship between Harry and Meghan breaks down in England, she may never get her son onto North American soil again. She hoodwinked Harry with the promise of “a holiday” in Canada, but she had no intention of having that child re-enter England ever again. She’s had legal advice.
Interesting, I’ve never had a signed note to travel with a child. Is that Canadian law?
NotMe!, I had to carry a notarized letter to leave the US when traveling alone with my child. His father did too. I think it is international law.
I draft detailed paperwork (online forms let you customize) for my children when traveling internationally if I take them. It can be requested anywhere. I also do multiple documents with variability on the dates for flexibility. It’s an absolute to avoid a hassle.
Very interesting indeed. I’ve travelled from the UK with my child frequently and never needed any paperwork from his father. Including to and from the US. I wonder if it’s relatively recent.
NotMe, For me it was ages ago (from the US). My son is not a minor anymore. Perhaps it also depends on where you are going and what the international agreements are but like Lorelei, I always carried papers with me, including his birth certificate.
Because they don’t always ask.
Yes, I believe it is international child anti-abduction law. Meghan has taken legal advice. She knows that if fireworks go off in England she could have a heck of a time getting Archie on a plane without Harry’s written consent. So she made sure Archie was in North America, and stayed there, while the bomb was dropped in England. Nice and tidy.
Hell, you can be turned back (car at border) for not having papers for your dog. You’re not always asked for papers (dog or child) but you better have them if you are.
Lilipuddlian:
Well, there’s a sign of progress, if Meghan is listening to advice.
HG,
Thank you for these very interesting updates. It’s a fascinating real-life example and your explanations are compelling as it unfolds.
While reading your articles, I can understand your disdain for what is happening because it’s close to home for you as a Briton and it is offensive and destabilising for the centuries-old monarchy.
Having said that though, the monarchy is a “construct” much like any other, and as you have noted before, there’s no ‘objectively’ right or wrong perspective about these kinds of situations, because as you have pointed out, a perspective and even a construct is always ‘subjective’.
In this instance, Harry is perceived as the ill-fated victim and Meghan is the nasty villain. In a different context with different characters, you might be more inclined to use logic and say that the narcissist is being strategic rather than nasty, while the victim may have ‘deserved’ it. It just so happens that the Megxit situation is one that you don’t feel that way about in your subjective view, and many other people don’t either. It’s interesting to see how certain contexts can be viewed differently.
Meghan really is a royal piece of work though. So brazen in her tactics and ambitious enough to take on the British monarchy. Being so openly bold and fast in dropping the bomb, the manipulations can be seen clearly and she risks falling flat on her face. So far though, what Meghan wants, Meghan has gotten, so who knows where it will go from here.
Hello WN, thanks for your observations.
My disdain is nothing to do with it being close to home as a Briton, but rather because I find her an odious individual. I do not have any particular love for Prince Harry although I find him amusing, but he is the victim in this scenario.
Yes, the monarchy is a construct and there are numerous narcissists in the Royal Family. These articles however focus on a particular narcissist because it is a very good example AND it provides me with a news worthy platform to get people who might not realise what is going on, to start to understand narcissism and then apply it to their own situations.
HG,
I find Meghan an odious individual too. I think that all narcissists are odious. I make an exception to you though, in the sense that while you are here on narcsite, you don’t behave like a narcissist and you are open, courteous, honest and straightforward.
I understand why you’re focusing on Meghan in these articles and I think they are fantastic. They’re great to read and also very news worthy.
Thank you, WN.
You’re welcome HG.
I’m glad you’re following this situation with Harry and Meghan so closely over time. Watching news reports and journalists giving their opinions about why this has happened and what H & M’s thoughts and motivations are, I haven’t heard anyone mention narcissism or Meghan’s influence on Harry. There are many opinions out there, but none as consistent and evidence-based as yours.
It makes me think how we listen to and believe what we hear on the news as being factual, when a lot of the time it is opinion and journalists giving us a neat description of what is happening in a 2-minute news story.
It makes me think that the “news” should only be about factual information, such as what, who, when and where. The “why” is something that can’t be ascertained in the moment in a few sentences or one article.
Very sensible observations
Thank you HG.
Yes, let the word know!
world
HG, please fix my typo, thanks.
Why does Harry amuse you? I find that observation intriguing. I think he seems delightful. Odious is a good word for her—my father used to use that term for his sister. (Who is wonderful)
Not at present, in the past.
Vegas.
HG, you are absolutely fabulous. What a wonderful piece of writing, I cannot wait for the next chapters of this saga, penned by you. Last night I was binge-reading The Mail, The Guardian and BBC who were all reporting on the developments you’re analyzing here. And I thought ooh, I can’t wait for HG to tudorscope this. And come morning, you did! Thank you 🙏
You are welcome and thank you for reading. Do ensure you share the article across media outlets, my thanks in advance.
Immensely instructive article HG. I am sharing it.
HG approves.
Thank you.
HG, all this Archie talk and I just need to say that you are my Candy Girl, and you got me wanting you, HG. O how sweet a kiss can be. Pour a little sugar on me, honey.
Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C’mon, fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
I can’t get enough
I’m hot, sticky sweet
From my head to my feet, yeah
Ok, not exactly what the Archies had in Monday.
Same here.