A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 9
The ongoing situation involving the Duke and Duchess of Sussex provides a very useful opportunity to explain what is really happening, as opposed to the mistaken observations being made in the media and to enable people to make sense of previously bewildering behaviours occurring in their lives.
Part 9 addresses further revelations relating to the Canadian Prime Minister, the situation with Kate Middleton the Duchess of Cambridge, Disney, the rift with the royal family and the planned talks to seek resolution of the current situation.
The media reports that talks will be taking place at Sandringham tomorrow to deal with what has been dubbed Megxit. Prince Harry has been left in the UK by his wife to have discussions with the Royal Family and she has returned to Canada under the auspices of caring for Archie. Were Miss Markle a non-narcissist and thus one would view her behaviours through the prism of not being a narcissist, then she would exhibit emotional empathy and most likely would not have left Archie alone to begin with, but if she had, her return would be based on caring for him.
She thinks this is what she is doing, however, owing to her narcissism, she is asserting control over various individuals, principally Prince Harry. She is exhibiting A Lack of Accountability by not being present at the talks and A Sense of Entitlement. More about the forthcoming talks below, but first, some comment on other information which has arisen and has been reported in the media.
It is important before moving on with the latest update and analysis to preface this with two important points. Firstly, by stating that everything that is reported may not be necessarily accurate and one should always bear that in mind. However, what one is able to do is to explain what such behaviour, if accurate, amounts to in relation to the concept of narcissism. If what has been reported did not occur, then it can be discounted. Most of the times the mainstream media reports the activity correctly and therefore this enables us to explain what this behaviour means through the prism of narcissism.
Secondly, and I have this point before and I shall repeat it for the Hard of Understanding. This analysis is about narcissism and how to understand what is occurring so people realise why certain actions have been taken and why certain things have been said and done. It is nothing to do with the subject´s race or gender. Narcissists come in all sizes, colours, all genders, and all sexual orientations. If you make the mistake of thinking this analysis (and it is an analysis not an attack) is based on race and/or gender please have a read of these articles about white male narcissists A Very Murderous Narcissist (1) A Very Hollywood Narcissist , A Very Deflecting Narcissist , A Very POTUS Narcissist , A Very POTUS Narcissist – Threat of Impeachment , A Very Murderous Narcissist (2).
With that stated, let us update the situation further.
1. News Justin!
It has been reported that the Prime Minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau was apparently told about the Sussexes plan to move to Canada before anybody else, which includes Prince Harry´s own family. Such a step demonstrates
- Belittlement – suggesting Prince Harry´s family should not know first about the stated intention because they are not important enough to know
- The Assertion of Control – “I am putting you in your place and showing that I am the controller not the controlled.”
- Sense of Entitlement – “I do what I want, I neither have regard for politeness, doing the right thing or protocol.”
- Lack of Emotional Empathy – “I am unable to concern myself with how it makes you feel to learn that we told someone else about our proposals before you, so I did as I did.”
- Triangulation – “I am involving someone else in this in order to provoke you and by provoking you, I control you.”
Remember, these are all instinctive responses governed by the narcissism. Think about your own situation, if you were considering moving to another country would you place an ad in the paper, splash it over social media and then tell the police chief in the town in the country you were moving to that you were moving there ahead of telling your family and friends. No, you would not. Why? Because you have emotional empathy and you do not have an instinctive manipulative response designed to assert control.
2. Disney Beckons
Filmed footage from an onlooker has surfaced showing Prince Harry, at an attendance of the Lion King (which also took him away from his charitable obligations as explained in A Very Royal Narcissist 2 is seen asking an executive with Disney about the potential for Miss Markle to undertake voice over work for Disney, in effect touting for work for her. Such behaviour demonstrates the hold that is exerted over Prince Harry in that he will, clouded by his own addiction to the narcissist (The Foundation of the Addiction to the Narcissist) do anything to try to please and appease Miss Markle, including such steps as crassly seeking a job opportunity on her behalf. Do not fall for thinking this is just the mistake of a not so clever chap, that is part of the equation, but his failure to see how this looks (see also the merchandising steps taken with regard to trademarking the Sussex “brand”) demonstrates that he is held in a cloud of emotional thinking, whereby he cannot see logically what is happening to him and how this is affecting his behaviour.
Other people will see it, those close to him (although of course that closeness is being eroded by the common narcissistic manipulation of Isolation) however trying to point this out to him will fail because his logic has been clouded through the control of the narcissist over him.
These somewhat crass and opportunistic behaviours are a manifestation of the effect of the narcissism on Prince Harry. If you have been ensnared by a narcissist, doubtless when you look back at what happened you will identify behaviour and ask yourself “What on earth came over me?”. This is what is also happening with Prince Harry and is the impact of the narcissists control.
3. Water Has Become Thicker Than Blood
Prince Harry has chosen what his wife wants (manipulated into thinking that it is what he wants also) and has chosen, as it stands, a six month split between the UK and Canada. Now, people invariably spend more time with the person they are in love with and naturally see less of parents, siblings and extended family but they do not wrench away with them in a dramatic fashion, unless there is the influence of a narcissist at work. The apparent basis for this departure is Facade Management as explained in earlier A Very Royal Narcissist 7 and A Very Royal Narcissist 8 .
The speed at which it has happened, (The Need To Assert Control), the manner in which it has happened (Sense of Entitlement and Salami Slicing) and the repercussions for Prince Harry (which he is unable to see) are in accordance with the behaviour of the narcissist. Narcissists must have complete control of their environments and that includes the people in them and it is a repeated and standard form of manipulation to Isolate the Intimate Partner Primary Source (spouse, partner, girlfriend, boyfriend) of the narcissist from any influences that may threaten that control, from the narcissist´s alternate perspective. Therefore, the narcissist will pull the IPPS away from parents, siblings and other members of the family, they will divide a person from their friends. This is done not only to remove what are seen as interfering elements from affecting control, but also by making the IPPS easier to control through
a. Depriving them of any support network , and
b. Making the victim more heavily reliant on the narcissist as their (supposed) sole person of support.
This will be done unconsciously by the narcissist through such actions as
- Smearing the family members (“They are trying to control you, I am just trying to help you see that.”)
- Exaggeration of Threat (“They do not want you to be happy, I do, that is why they see me as a threat.)
- Projection (see the above comment).
- Pity Play (“Your family do not like me.” “This country has it in for me and I have tried so hard, you know, tried the stiff upper lip, but they just do not like me.”)
- Guilt (“If you loved me, you would move for me.”)
- Triangulation (“If we stay, it will end up the same for me as it was for your mother and you do not want that to happen do you?”)
- Use of The Victim´s Weaknesses Against Them (see the above comment)
- Promised Gain (“If we live there, we can do our own thing and both be happy, you want that for us don’t you?”
Remember, the narcissist will do this through unconscious manipulations. The narcissist genuinely believes that they are doing the right thing and cannot see, because of their narcissism, that they are actually being manipulative.
Such manipulations will have been used in isolating Prince Harry from his father, brother, grandparents, friends and extended family (save those who are viewed as supportive and therefore no threat to the control) and thus choosing water over blood.
As Prince William stated, reported in The Sunday Times,
“I have put my arm around my brother all our lives and I cannot do that anymore. We’re separate entities.”
4. No Sister-In-Law Love
Reports also state that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton have not spoken to one another in six months. Previous A Very Royal Narcissist articles have identified the friction between the two Duchesses. It is evident that Miss Markle, has exhibited envy towards Kate Middleton (given her status as wife to the future king) and this envy threatens her control over Kate who is a Non Intimate Secondary Source in Miss Markle´s Fuel matrix. In order to assert control, Miss Markle has previously Triangulated and Mirrored The Duchess of Cambridge. This will have had temporary success and then Miss Markle has given an Absent Silent Treatment to the Duchess of Cambridge by not speaking to her. Where the Duchess has come back into Miss Markle´s sphere of influence, she has maintained this silence in order to continue to assert control. The Duchess may well have tried to resolve issues by speaking with Miss Markle and/or have decided not to try further because it has proven fruitless in resolving matters and thus gives up. Such a situation may then be portrayed by the narcissist as part of a Pity Play and also Projection as being on the receiving end of a silent treatment from the non-narcissist, when in effect it is not.
5. The Sandringham Summit
It is reported that a summit will take place on Monday at Sandringham for the purposes of putting a series of scenarios and proposals to Prince Harry. It is understood that Miss Markle will be joining the summit by telephone.
Four main items are rumoured to be on the agenda
- Whether the Sussexes will keep their HRH titles
- The amount of royal duties they are expected to perform
- How they will be funded
- Rules regarding potential commercial ventures
Various scenarios will most likely be provided to Prince Harry for the purposes of allowing him to understand the ramifications of the decision that has been made in an effort to look at alternatives. It is unlikely that the Sussexes will have thought through the implications of the decision to “step back” from Royal duties. This is because the focus of Miss Markle is a need for unconscious control in that moment and not be concerned with collateral consequences. When these collateral consequences are pointed out which would include
- The upset, dismay and hurt of Prince Harry´s family
- The impact on his obligations as a member of the Royal Family
- Potential financial ramifications in respect of the difficulty of being self-funded
- Potential financial ramifications with regard to tax
No matter how logically these are presented, they will be seen, from Miss Markle´s narcissistic perspective as Challenge Fuel, which is one of The Key Interactions With The Narcissist . The Challenge Fuel means that what is said and explained presents as a challenge to The Sense of Entitlement, Grandiosity and Lack of Accountability which all adds up to a Threat to Control. Control is the central need of the narcissist and the actions of the Royal Family at the summit will serve to threaten Miss Markle´s need for control. Prince Harry will either be blinded by his emotional thinking and just see what is being proposed as unfair, rather than looking at it logically or, more likely, he will recognise that there is sense in what is being proposed but will find himself caught between the reasonable suggestions of his family and the demands of his wife and in the manner that an ensnared individual who is in devaluation responds, he will seek to keep the peace with his wife and do what she wants. This may well mean that there is no deal and Prince Harry proceeds in accordance with Meghan Markle´s demand.
If some form of compromise is reached, it is important to recognise this will only be because it suits the narcissist and that is how the apparent “compromise” when actually it is not, is arrived at. To understand more about the narcissists mindset in that regard, do have regard to Why The Arguments Are Never Resolved.
The outcomes from the summit will either be –
- The proposals of the Royal Family are deemed too much of a threat to the need for control and the Sussexes proceed, governed by Miss Markle´s need for control in the already decided manner , or
- There is a deal which is only agreed because it serves the need for control. It is likely this will involve money (albeit kept quiet) so as to maintain the appearance (Facade Management) of financial appearance whilst maintaining links and ties with the Royal Family. The Sussexes appear to agree a compromise, but it is not and it is only agreed to because it corresponds with what Miss Markle requires , or
- Prince Harry makes a stand against the control he is being subjected to, in which case he can expect a savage response from his wife. This outcome is highly unlikely given the level of control and devaluation Prince Harry is currently subjected to. His actions and comments are indicative of an individual who has been brainwashed into believing that his wife is the one who is right alongside a diminishing degree of will to put up any form of resistance and in such instances, it is invariably the narcissist who wins out and the victim is steadily isolated from the family and friends.
In the short term, Miss Markle will exert control in some form and in her “world” she will be winning. Of course, there is much more that is yet to happen with this ongoing saga of a Very Royal Narcissist.
Learn more about narcissism and its effects
Understanding Empathy : The Difference Between Empath, Normal and Narcissist
Understanding Wounding and the Narcissist – Look Who Has Come To Dinner!
Sex : How the Narcissist Views Sex and The Role It Plays In Your Entanglement
A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 8
A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 7
A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 6
To Control Is To Cope – Narcissism and Its Creation
137 thoughts on “A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 9”
Hasn’t Harry always been a rebel and now he has a chance to be comfortable in his own skin? I’m not British so I don’t carry the same weight in the monarchy as the British do. What about Meghan’s father and half siblings? Aren’t they the most abusive towards her, continuing to show their toxic relationships that she has had to endure in public scrutiny? Are they ever really supportive of her or only showing their own narcissism? I had a narcissistic mother and both parents were controlling. Separation from them was the healthiest path I could take. Also, Meghan and Harry’s new agreement with the Queen is only for one year. Assessment will be made after that, so there could be more developments thereafter. I don’t know Meghan personally so I cannot judge her actions, but I truly hope they are honest in nature.
As someone who has followed the Royal Family for some time, and as someone who escaped the ensnarement of a narcissist (and count my blessings everyday for it) it absolutely kills me to see this all unfolding. I know exactly the damage a narc can cause to an empath like myself.
At this point the BEST case scenario for Harry is an eventual breakup with MM followed by YEARS worth of emotional healing and repairing of relationships of family members and friends. Along with co-parenting a child along with an ex partner narcissist. What a nightmare… and this is BEST case!
Worst case scenario is Harry wastes his life with MM as a mere appliance, and becomes an absolute shell of a person, barely recognizable as a functioning human being. Is essence just a tool of the narcissist.
Do you agree HG?? I’m curious what your take is on the best possible outcome?
We have to do something to help poor Harry 🙁
Hello, Z3K3. The best outcome for PH would naturally be to realise what is happening, escape and then impose his No Contact Regime applying the principle of GOSO. Will this happen? See https://narcsite.com/2020/01/13/a-very-royal-narcissist-the-inside-track/
Thank you Danette, do share it far and wide.
I have suggested that Disney give MM the kind of work her talents merit: perhaps recording covers of Gloria Balsam’s “Fluffy” or the Shaggs’ “My Pal Foot Foot.”
I shall not attempt to post links. HG has been quite lenient, and I don’t want to push my luck.
Dear Mr Tudor,
The Queen didn’t explain didn’t complain …… perfect strategy!
I’m just waiting for megsy n hazzas #gofundme# page 🤣
You’ve done an exceptional coverage on this, thank you Mr Tudor
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Thank you Bubbles
Hi HG..very new to your site but it has helped me see why Harry has had the personality change he has which I found so baffling to understand.
I have a question..so Meghan doesn’t really know she’s doing this? She does it unconsciously, how does that work, I don’t understand?
And after reading some of these things. I think my dad may be a narcissist..he surely had the silent treatment down really good anyway and I think he was responsible for me and my mom’s bad relationship..but I’ll have to give it more thought. Would a narcissist cause a mom to be jealous of the relationship he has with his daughter? My dad always put me on a pedestal but would also make me feel really bad if I fell off it and as I was the oldest made me help him and mom by trying to be the perfect daughter and set a good example for my sister and brothers but that didn’t help. Anyway..like I said I’m still figuring things out and have only just come to your site.
Thanks for the articles on Meghan..I could see she was bad but couldn’t figure out how PH could allow her to be.
Hello Lisa and welcome to the site. The fact that nearly all narcissists operate unconsciously is something that many people struggle with. It is key to understand that the narcissist does not see the world the way you do. You impose your world viewpoint on the behaviour of the narcissist and expect him or her to operate in a similar way to you and therefore they must know what they are doing. They do not. It is detailed and not something I can address in a comment.
Read this article https://narcsite.com/2019/10/09/do-narcissists-know-what-they-are-doing-the-mid-ranger-6/ and consider consulting with me it you want to understand more.
You will find a Narc Detector Consultation helpful with regard to your dad’s behaviour and keep reading here because the more you do, the more things will make sense for you.
Would a narcissist make a mother be jealous of the relationship he has with the daughter? Yes. It is called Triangulation.
The fact that you could not understand Prince Harry´s personality change and now it is making sense to you demonstrates the power of my material and the fact you are able to make sense of it means you will continue to do so with regard to your own experience.
Thank you for your reply. I find narcissism very confusing, even reading the link you provided, it’s hard to understand that they just act that way.
Which brings me to another question, how did you find out you were a narcissist?
I’m going to read some more of your articles but I may consult with you, what does that entail?
It will be confusing because of your different worldview and the impact of emotional thinking. A consultation with me will aid understanding.
1. I I always knew I was set apart. A former girlfriend, a psychology graduate suggested I was. I read more and it resonated.
2. Using the links in the menu bar which will give you all the information you need about each type of consultation and how it works. Use this link first https://narcsite.com/private-audio-consultation/
WiserNow, the loss of innocent enthusiasm, genuine care and willingness to love would be tragic for a new dad of a little baby as this would affect his confidence level in his parenting and a likelihood of missing out on truly enjoying that precious moment of having a new baby. It is really sad for both PH and his son if that is what is happening.
Yes, I agree, the loss of all of those things would be tragic for a new dad. When I wrote that comment, my thoughts were about an empathic person’s relationships with other adults and the sense of not being able to fully trust and be spontaneous with other adults after being with a narcissist or growing up with a narcissist parent.
When it comes to raising children, it could be a bit different for empathic parents, because there would be no real reason to lack trust or spontaneity with a small baby or child.
On the other hand, if the empathic parent is going through devaluation by the narcissist parent, it could have a negative impact on the child. In that case, the empathic parent would not be as confident or positive or emotionally engaged with the child because they would be preoccupied with the narcissist’s ‘needs’ and they would not be as fully open to the child’s needs.
They are my guesses, so I could be wrong or there could be different patterns for each situation. Whatever the case, I think it’s sad for PH too. Archie is his first baby, and he hasn’t been married for a long time, so maybe the excitement and joy from having a first baby would mean that, hopefully, Harry is giving Archie all the emotional engagement that a baby needs. I hope that’s the case.
You bring up something I have been contemplating a lot lately. Which is how does a co-dep parent in devaluation relate to their children. Being so empathic, a codep should be a caring responsive parent. However, I was distracted during the long shelvings with MMRN, and I was just a lowly long distance IPSS. I can’t imagine the toll on the kids with an IPPS in full deval.
I relate this to my own childhood. My father was so absent, always off doing his own thing. I always think of my mother as the one who messed me up, with her controlling nature and her lack of emotional support. But my father was very charming, flirty, ran several charitable causes, was intellectually brilliant, made all the decisions, did as he pleased, repeatedly refused my mother’s requests for him to spend time with us…..and could tear my mother down with one swift insulting sentence. He was NEVER like that with me. I do think he was the narc, and my mother was deep in an empath’s fog, which was why I was on my own.
I still need to consult with HG about it. HG shall I put my dad through the narc detector first you think?
Yes. Best place to state and then we can consult.
That’s interesting MommyPino. As children, we are with our parents, or without them as you point out, for many years as we develop into fully grown adults. There are many times over many years that we are influenced by what our parents either do or don’t do.
Also, our parents are human too. They have their own histories, their own emotional hurts and legacies and they are operating from their own personal perspectives.
All of these things will impact a child’s development. Then there are the other environmental factors, like other family relatives, the social influences outside the family, other people, schooling, location, etc etc. All of these things work together and influence a child’s personality and thought processes.
“One day a woman gave up her lucrative career that she loved, worked hard for and excelled at as well as earning millions to be with the man that she loves.”